Why do some humans not want children?

[kingjay718]

 

[danzinreallife]

Why does it have to be about selfishness though?


Could it be that some people whole heartedly believe that they wouldn't make good parents? There are many contributing facts to the reasons why some people don't want to have children.



I want a couple and then adopt one or two. But I refuse to have them before I can provide for them without having to struggle.

 

[danzinreallife]

Why does it have to be about selfishness though?


Could it be that some people whole heartedly believe that they wouldn't make good parents? There are many contributing facts to the reasons why some people don't want to have children.



I want a couple and then adopt one or two. But I refuse to have them before I can provide for them without having to struggle.

 

[iheartdrums]

I just got with a new chick and shes claiming she doesnt want anymore youngsters (she has a 3 year old already) but im gonna change her mind.

 

[iheartdrums]

I just got with a new chick and shes claiming she doesnt want anymore youngsters (she has a 3 year old already) but im gonna change her mind.

 

[hankmoody]

Originally Posted by DanzInRealLife


 There are many contributing facts to the reasons why some people don't want to have children.

Really?!!?!!?! Let me edit the OP and insert this astute observation. 

 

[hankmoody]

Originally Posted by DanzInRealLife


 There are many contributing facts to the reasons why some people don't want to have children.

Really?!!?!!?! Let me edit the OP and insert this astute observation. 

 

[whyhellothere]

because i hate children *shrug* 

 

[whyhellothere]

because i hate children *shrug* 

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by scshift

I think it goes both ways... there are people out there who genuinely care about those unfortunate enough to lose their parents so they take them in and treat them like their own. But a lot of people aren't that selfless, they want children not because they want to give a young child a chance in life, but because they want to have the pride and satisfaction of knowing they raise their own child.

You don't get that with an adopted child. While you do raise it, ultimately it is not your child and not a product of you.

For many parents, they have children not for the children, but for themselves. It gives them a feeling of responsibility, maturity, power, ownership, whatever. It is most definitely not a completely selfless act.

Very true. Some genuinely have children because they want to share their life, experiences with another being. There are too many abandoned parentless children out there for me to give having kids the nod of being a completely selfless act. Not having children on the other hand doesn't make you a selfish person. If you don't have the means to have kids, it's actually to your unborn child's benefit to not be brought into an uncomfortable existence.

Now not having children because you love yourself too much shows selfish qualities, but how can one be selfish to something that doesn't exist. If you're that selfish a human being you probably shouldn't be having children.

Exactly - a person's decision to have children has nothing to do with selfishness or selflessness. It's all personal preference. You can't label someone selfish because they choose not to have children. What if they spend their entire lives benefiting third world countries while making an impact in their communities?

Just like the marriage thread, people make this case so polarizing. I think because it's the American norm to marry and have children, that if you don't do said things, you are immature and selfish. But I digress.

I don't consider myself a selfish person. Yet I do not want kids, or anything to do with them. Later on in my life when I am financially and socially stable I will consider adopting children, but I do not wish to raise any. So does adopting children make one selfish or not? And who exactly am I being selfish against if I choose not to have kids? Selfish against the child - the one who does not exist yet and will only exist because of me?

Defendants of having children, please answer because I am truly interested in your point of view on this.

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by scshift

I think it goes both ways... there are people out there who genuinely care about those unfortunate enough to lose their parents so they take them in and treat them like their own. But a lot of people aren't that selfless, they want children not because they want to give a young child a chance in life, but because they want to have the pride and satisfaction of knowing they raise their own child.

You don't get that with an adopted child. While you do raise it, ultimately it is not your child and not a product of you.

For many parents, they have children not for the children, but for themselves. It gives them a feeling of responsibility, maturity, power, ownership, whatever. It is most definitely not a completely selfless act.

Very true. Some genuinely have children because they want to share their life, experiences with another being. There are too many abandoned parentless children out there for me to give having kids the nod of being a completely selfless act. Not having children on the other hand doesn't make you a selfish person. If you don't have the means to have kids, it's actually to your unborn child's benefit to not be brought into an uncomfortable existence.

Now not having children because you love yourself too much shows selfish qualities, but how can one be selfish to something that doesn't exist. If you're that selfish a human being you probably shouldn't be having children.

Exactly - a person's decision to have children has nothing to do with selfishness or selflessness. It's all personal preference. You can't label someone selfish because they choose not to have children. What if they spend their entire lives benefiting third world countries while making an impact in their communities?

Just like the marriage thread, people make this case so polarizing. I think because it's the American norm to marry and have children, that if you don't do said things, you are immature and selfish. But I digress.

I don't consider myself a selfish person. Yet I do not want kids, or anything to do with them. Later on in my life when I am financially and socially stable I will consider adopting children, but I do not wish to raise any. So does adopting children make one selfish or not? And who exactly am I being selfish against if I choose not to have kids? Selfish against the child - the one who does not exist yet and will only exist because of me?

Defendants of having children, please answer because I am truly interested in your point of view on this.

 

[capricorn1229]

Originally Posted by Quincy Powell

Originally Posted by DT43

Too soon.

 

[capricorn1229]

Originally Posted by Quincy Powell

Originally Posted by DT43

Too soon.

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

How is it selfish to not want children? Isn't it selfish that you want a child?

I go back and forth on the thought of having children. As a woman, I am usually looked down upon when I express my thoughts about not knowing if I want children. It is as if it is some written rule that as a woman, you serve your purpose of having to be a mother.

The thing that gets to me is that I might regret not having children. I hear some parents say that when their child was born, they finally understood their reason for being. Children are also good to have around when you need someone to take care and provide for you when you lose means to take care of yourself. Then again, if you have children, not always guaranteed they will be there for you when you grow old for them to take care of you. On another note,not every human is made or fit to be a parent. There are some horrible ad disgusting parents out there.

I respect your choice. I feel like a lot of women will have children whether they want to or not, just because society impresses upon them that they should be mothers.

I don't believe women should have to be mothers... in fact I think women without children are just as respectable as women with children. Whenever I offer an idea that differs from the societal status quo, I am always labeled as immature. But to be honest, I do not feel like a woman should have to be forced to bear a child. That changes a woman forever and to be honest, it's not always for the better.

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

How is it selfish to not want children? Isn't it selfish that you want a child?

I go back and forth on the thought of having children. As a woman, I am usually looked down upon when I express my thoughts about not knowing if I want children. It is as if it is some written rule that as a woman, you serve your purpose of having to be a mother.

The thing that gets to me is that I might regret not having children. I hear some parents say that when their child was born, they finally understood their reason for being. Children are also good to have around when you need someone to take care and provide for you when you lose means to take care of yourself. Then again, if you have children, not always guaranteed they will be there for you when you grow old for them to take care of you. On another note,not every human is made or fit to be a parent. There are some horrible ad disgusting parents out there.

I respect your choice. I feel like a lot of women will have children whether they want to or not, just because society impresses upon them that they should be mothers.

I don't believe women should have to be mothers... in fact I think women without children are just as respectable as women with children. Whenever I offer an idea that differs from the societal status quo, I am always labeled as immature. But to be honest, I do not feel like a woman should have to be forced to bear a child. That changes a woman forever and to be honest, it's not always for the better.

 

[hop]

Originally Posted by Los Angeles Fresh

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by scshift


Because many feel that since the child isn't theirs, they won't have the fulfillment that having their own children would bring.

It really shouldn't matter, but people don't have that connection between an adopted child and one they created.

I understand that's why I asked that cause it voids the selflessness argument. If raising kids is about selflessness then shouldn't more people be adopting. And do parents who abandon their kids have them selflessly? Some may argue that having children is actually a very selfish act, many people have a lot to gain by having kids that's why they wonder why others refuse to. These benefits range from personal fulfillment to passing your genes or your family legacy, these aren't selfless reasons.

im still waiting for the day that i disagree with you

 Anton's posts always have me like:

 

[hop]

Originally Posted by Los Angeles Fresh

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by scshift


Because many feel that since the child isn't theirs, they won't have the fulfillment that having their own children would bring.

It really shouldn't matter, but people don't have that connection between an adopted child and one they created.

I understand that's why I asked that cause it voids the selflessness argument. If raising kids is about selflessness then shouldn't more people be adopting. And do parents who abandon their kids have them selflessly? Some may argue that having children is actually a very selfish act, many people have a lot to gain by having kids that's why they wonder why others refuse to. These benefits range from personal fulfillment to passing your genes or your family legacy, these aren't selfless reasons.

im still waiting for the day that i disagree with you

 Anton's posts always have me like:

 

[je ne sais quoi]

Because I've read The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

 

[je ne sais quoi]

Because I've read The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

 

[hellaones]

Originally Posted by whyhellothere

because i hate children  

 

[hellaones]

Originally Posted by whyhellothere

because i hate children  

 

[still1rise]

I can see benefits of both choices. But sadly it comes down to $ & time. If I had more free time & enough $ for everything I wanted for that kid, then it would be no problem.

I think the best thing about kids is that your able to learn more about yourself and kinda relive being a kid again. Something about see a lil kid get juiced for something minor that is just

 

[still1rise]

I can see benefits of both choices. But sadly it comes down to $ & time. If I had more free time & enough $ for everything I wanted for that kid, then it would be no problem.

I think the best thing about kids is that your able to learn more about yourself and kinda relive being a kid again. Something about see a lil kid get juiced for something minor that is just

 

[kenji714]

I don't like kids but i want kids. Im not sure if that make sense. I would hate raising a little crying toddler but i don't want to get old with no children around.

 

[kenji714]

I don't like kids but i want kids. Im not sure if that make sense. I would hate raising a little crying toddler but i don't want to get old with no children around.