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Your girlfriend/female best friend/wife/whatever the heck you want to call her ...
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^ pretty sure the one where he's with John Mayer in the black barbershop playing music they don't like 
could be wrong tho
could be wrong tho
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Yup, it is.^ pretty sure the one where he's with John Mayer in the black barbershop playing music they don't like
could be wrong tho
@3:00
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Yeah I'm in the A.
I don't know if I'd go in this city. I have nothing against gay people, but compared to some other places I've lived, it seems dudes in Atlanta take it a step further. Telling them "Nah fam, I'm not gay. I'm just here because my girl asked me to come" wouldn't stop them from pushing the issue. Swear they look at you like a challenge in this town. But I digress.
"oh you're not gay?"
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But yea I know from accidentally going to this club when it was gay night that I wouldn't be comfortable going to one. On the way in I saw a dude bend forward throwing it back on another dude and realized what was going on, made a 180 and was out.
big j 33
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For the record, most don't consider homophobia to be "the fear of homosexuals", despite what a literal interpretation of the word might imply. Rather, it refers to the hatred, negative views, discriminatory actions, etc. towards homosexuality.
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^ But how/why are people pulling out that word in this situation? Simply because I don't want to be in a gay club you call someone homophobic? How does that even apply here?
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Sure, but I'd have to remind her that she owes me one for it.Asks you to go out with her to a gay club/bar. You will probably get hit on by guys, but she insists she wants to go to a place where she can go to just enjoy music, dance, and not worry about getting hit on when you're at the bathroom.
Do you go with her?
big j 33
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DC, You're talking about two different things. The misuse of the word homophobic in this particular situation... and then the misinterpretation of the word in general.
People might be quick to pull the homophobic card, but they probably don't mean one is afraid of homosexuals, but rather a dislike, hatred, or prejudice towards them. If I had to guess, it's probably because people are saying things like they don't want to be hit on or be around that many gay people, as if homosexual men are uncontrollable monsters who victimize straight men on purpose. You could not want to go for a lot of valid reasons.. don't like clubs, don't like to dance, don't drink, etc. Or you could not want to go because you hate gay people.
People might be quick to pull the homophobic card, but they probably don't mean one is afraid of homosexuals, but rather a dislike, hatred, or prejudice towards them. If I had to guess, it's probably because people are saying things like they don't want to be hit on or be around that many gay people, as if homosexual men are uncontrollable monsters who victimize straight men on purpose. You could not want to go for a lot of valid reasons.. don't like clubs, don't like to dance, don't drink, etc. Or you could not want to go because you hate gay people.
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But I said I don't want to go because I don't want to be in a gay environment and I was called homophobic. I don't think that is fair. I don't think me saying that equates to me not liking gay individuals. I just have no desire, need, want, point of being in that setting. In that instance, why am I labeled homophobic?
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The misuse of the word homophobia runs rampant. If a person who is clearly anti-gay says they hate gay ppl and wants to hurt them or something like that they get labeled homophobic. Never made sense to me, not in every case of hating someone for belonging to a group is based on fear of them.
big j 33
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I didn't label you homophobic, so you're asking the wrong person.
ohmygosher
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I personally couldn't do it.
I like to enjoy myself when I go out. No way I'd feel comfortable in there.
I like to enjoy myself when I go out. No way I'd feel comfortable in there.
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big j 33
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futuremd
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To me its like this.
I have no problem with gay clubs. I just don't want to go. Hell, I support gay rights and equality whole-heartedly.
But if this is merely about venues, then lets be honest.
If your girl asked you to go to a male strip club, would you go? I mean, no diss to those that enjoy going and I hope that they continue to have those establishments for patrons who wish to visit said places, but its just not something to interests me.
I think the REAL struggle is admitting that you won't have anything else to even glance at with even suppressed intentions, since you'll be so focused on whoever you came with.
...at least when you go to a "regular/non-sexually specific" club, at least you can steal a few glances.
Like I said earlier, if you're not enthusiastic about it, it'll cause a problem because your girl might see you as trying to ruin her fun or thinking too much about the obvious fact, or some other multitude of issues, many of which might be assumptions about you personally. Then you'll wonder what shes thinking about what you're thinking. Thats why I suggested to at least make sure that you two are on the same page of how you're going to go about it. It sounds silly, but if its something you clearly aren't outright comfortable with, you need to at least be honest with yourself that you'll need some mental prep-work before you go. I don't want to sound immature, but your hesitation indicates that its not a cut-and-dry decision for you. You're clearly apprehensive about it.
I have no problem with gay clubs. I just don't want to go. Hell, I support gay rights and equality whole-heartedly.
But if this is merely about venues, then lets be honest.
If your girl asked you to go to a male strip club, would you go? I mean, no diss to those that enjoy going and I hope that they continue to have those establishments for patrons who wish to visit said places, but its just not something to interests me.
I think the REAL struggle is admitting that you won't have anything else to even glance at with even suppressed intentions, since you'll be so focused on whoever you came with.
Like I said earlier, if you're not enthusiastic about it, it'll cause a problem because your girl might see you as trying to ruin her fun or thinking too much about the obvious fact, or some other multitude of issues, many of which might be assumptions about you personally. Then you'll wonder what shes thinking about what you're thinking. Thats why I suggested to at least make sure that you two are on the same page of how you're going to go about it. It sounds silly, but if its something you clearly aren't outright comfortable with, you need to at least be honest with yourself that you'll need some mental prep-work before you go. I don't want to sound immature, but your hesitation indicates that its not a cut-and-dry decision for you. You're clearly apprehensive about it.
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Hmmmm.
You invite me to a party
I don't want to go. "Nah man, I'm cool. I don't want to be in a black environment."
..............
Would you not call me a racist?
I'd say those are pretty credible grounds for a racism/bigotry card.
When someone says some blatant **** like that you can feel their negative energy and where it's being directed
In both cases, we're being intolerant.
You can't even TOLERATE gays? You really can't stand them?
Could go a number of ways from there
Why do you feel so strongly about gay people? Would you feel that way around lesbians?
I respect a lot of the **** you talk on here
But this quest for manliness, bro... It's okay to let other people to their thing. It's okay to interact with them- even if they're different than you!
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who called you homophobic? while i don't agree with you, i can at least understand where you're coming from with what you said. it's people like malikdagoat and cocotaso1 who seem to be making any excuse to stay away from the situation in which case i would suspect some sort of homophobia.
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calikev34,
Just because I don't want to be in a certain type of environment doesn't make me intolerant of the group of people. I can't really agree with the idea of denying a trip to a gay club is showing intolerance for gay people. I just say it is intolerance to a gay CLUB. There is a difference between the two. Not seeing how you can't see that.
If someone doesn't want to go to a black club, I wouldn't call them intolerant of black people. I wouldn't call them bigots/racists. They might not like the music black people listen to.
And how is NOT going to a gay club NOT letting them do their thing? I am not stopping their party. I just said I have no PURPOSE of being there.
Denying something doesn't =/= intoleration.
Just because I don't want to be in a certain type of environment doesn't make me intolerant of the group of people. I can't really agree with the idea of denying a trip to a gay club is showing intolerance for gay people. I just say it is intolerance to a gay CLUB. There is a difference between the two. Not seeing how you can't see that.
If someone doesn't want to go to a black club, I wouldn't call them intolerant of black people. I wouldn't call them bigots/racists. They might not like the music black people listen to.
And how is NOT going to a gay club NOT letting them do their thing? I am not stopping their party. I just said I have no PURPOSE of being there.
Denying something doesn't =/= intoleration.
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"oh you won't suck a ****? homophobe!"
If it's all about allowing people to be comfortable and be who they are, why force a heterosexual male to be uncomfortable in a gay club? that doesn't make you a homophobe.
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Your logic is ******ed. I'm not homophobic because I don't wanna go to a gay club, just like a white suburban kid isn't racist for not wanting to go to a club smack in the hood.
How the hell does it make me homophobic that as a STRAIGHT MAN, I don't want to go to a GAY CLUB? If a gay man said he didn't want to go to a predominately straight club, I wouldn't hold that against him, that's not his type of crowd, he wouldn't enjoy his time there...I understand
Y'all take any and every opportunity to call people homophobic, y'all are worse then black ppl who pull the race card for every situation. Get outta here with that ******....
(I'm black btw)
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i just feel that that's stupid logic from a female. "I want to go to a gay bar because I dont want to be hit on by any guys"
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If you're sure of your sexuality why not go with your GF.....I went with my bf n homegirls and he had a blast danced all night since he was with me n my girls it didn't matter nobody disrespected him...
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