What Jill Scott has to say about interracial couples...

[waveyjoneslocker]

Can someone explain to me how this ISN'T racist?

 

[deuce king]

Originally Posted by Sloane Kettering

..."if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home"

...

   "We're all black when the lights out out"

 

[superantigen]

I def. see where she is coming and can understand why she feels the way she does.

Of course, I can also see people (NTkers) dismissing her point with the all-mighty "preference" argument. I know this even though I have yet to read past page 1 of this thread.

...

 

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by Deuce King

On a related note, I wonder how many black men would feel if a large population of black women were out dating white men.

I'm quite sure "we" would be heated if this were to occur on a wide-scale basis.


We definitely would be... Hell I would argue that there are some black men who get upset when they see a beautiful black female with someone who isn't black.
That said, the childish comments in here are disheartening. What does a woman's appearance have to do with her opinion on a stance, whether you agree with it or not? I see some of ya'll haven't learned what fallacies are seeing as you toss them around often.

And for someone who talked about white/Asian women being able to keep men better than black women, I'm not going to address whether that is true or not, but I believe most of us don't understand the reasons behind that. 

You have a lot of black women whom never grew up seeing their mother in a successful relationship, and in some cases being taught that men ain't crap by their bitter mothers who influenced them in an improper way. 

And EVEN MORE importantly, you have an entire group of women whom don't know the difference between submitting to their man and being submissive, because they are led to believe they are one in the same and that both have negative connotations. You can't blame them. 

And on top of that, I understand black men not wanting to deal with HEADstrong Black women (even though many black women say we don't want a strong black women) the truth is many black men go and mess with white and Asian women because they want a relationship to be easy and don't want a relationship they want to work at.

Optimus, you aren't helping the discussion being subjective by the way, you sound personally but hurt in some of your statements.

 

[ravagebx]

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

Originally Posted by Deuce King

On a related note, I wonder how many black men would feel if a large population of black women were out dating white men.

I'm quite sure "we" would be heated if this were to occur on a wide-scale basis.

We definitely would be... Hell I would argue that there are some black men who get upset when they see a beautiful black female with someone who isn't black.
QFT. Like I said, if the shoe was on the other foot dudes would sing a different tune. Whenever we see a bad black chick with anything other than a black dude, what's the first thought that comes to mind? "I bet he ain't hitting that right." This is just a small example of how it goes both ways. We're just in an advantaged position.

 

[illfrozn]

Originally Posted by niidawg3

Originally Posted by Diego

Originally Posted by bangtcg

 I understand what Jill Scott is saying.

I think the gripe really comes specifically towards white women.  If it was a black men and, let's say an Indian woman I don't think black women would care.  It is the fact that black men are hooking up with white women.

  
Sounds like racism to me.

No - its the fact that you hardly see a white woman with a broke black man (unless they are both broke). I think sistahs feel white women are gaming the system and grabbing the few well to do black men out there, even further destroying their chances ...

Case in point - i have been asked by African American women on several separate occasions whether my wife was white. They just assume that if a black man has his stuff together, he will be swooned and scooped up by an aggressive white woman before they can even get into the game.

I agree black women dont help themselves with the attitude (some of which is just propagation of stereotypes and not totally accurate). I think for them to equal the playing field, they need to go the extra mile like these white women do ... and stop referring to how they hang with their men during slavery.

What are black women doing today to support their men? They are supporting the kids alone - yes ... but before the kids and all the drama ... what were they doing to help push the black man up to the sky.

Thats the question i have for black women.
  

Amen, my brother. Black women need to skim off some of the attitude. It isn't always necessary to act a fool. Then again, if some of us got our act together, maybe Black women wouldn't always be ready to pop off. And want to know why else Black men go with other races? Because they're not spending thousands of dollars on a hair-do ...

And on a side note, Jill Scott is fine as hell and the bidness could be given to her ...

 

[lesfamilia]

Whatever the case may be, I agree with what nawth said.  My mother is Hispanic and is one of the strongest women I've come to know, but if she was Black I definitely wouldn't love her any less.

 

[moneymike88]

im not reading all that...someone provide cliffnotes

 

[optimusprimeaphia]

Originally Posted by RavageBX

Originally Posted by OptimusPrimeAPhiA

Originally Posted by RavageBX

Originally Posted by OptimusPrimeAPhiA

Originally Posted by RavageBX

Originally Posted by RavageBX

Whata cruel joke we've played on ourselves, to sit here and act as if weAfrican American males have no fault in this. Why is it that wechampion interracial relationships as if dating within our own ranks isundesirable? Seems like every other ethnicity loves their own more thanwe do. "Black love" is but a fleeting memory of a time when we neededeach other. With dismal incarceration, death and education statisticscoupled along with racism and false concepts of beauty embedded in ourcollective psyche, it's no wonder they're feeling some kind of way.Wouldn't you?

Oh and contempt and jealousy? Get over yourselves.

I'm not saying you'd be jealous but you'd feel some kinda way. Maybejust a little hurt. After all those years of fighting for equality andacceptance it's like we don't need each other anymore. Actually morelike we think we don't need them. And we couldn't be any more wrong.

Sums up what I had to say in the other thread and pretty much mirrors Ms. Scott's sentiments. I have no problem with interracial relationships. I think they're great and definitely a step forward. However, I do have a problem with this mentality of abandonment. Lots of black men walking around acting like they don't need black women. I don't see how any self-respecting black man can say he would never or will never date a black girl and look their mothers in the faces.

This is a goddamn lie

How you gonna support an agenda like the notion of "abandonment" and then champion interracial dating? So dating is cool as long as they're not married? Whats the point in dating? just to bust a nut and add numbers to the score sheet? Lets be real, what the hell are both of you all saying?

I'm tired of feeling like i can't do what the hell I want because ya'll get slighted. If I see some latina or white tail, I'm damn entitled to pursue that. This entire conversation is the result of insecurity. Entirely. If you are copping feelings over the fact that you weren't wifed up by a black man, one of two things needs to happen, go find you a black man that likes you OR go outside of the race your damn self. Other races have no problem dealing with this fact. Black people and this self-hate and burden are sponsoring this f'd up mentality of inclusiveness when it violates basically everything you stand for as a member of society. I can not and WILL not be responsible for your insecurities and inability to gain confidence over your life and let history...be history.


I like black women, as a black male, but I like women in general too. I shouldn't have to worry about the millions of black women when i'm only talking to ONE of ya'll at a time. If it was really that serious, why don't you re-evaluate why you all want to FORCE men to love you all. Why don't they do it naturally should be your question. if you force anything, it'll never work. Maybe, just maybe thats the way things were intended to be. You're being unrealistic any other way.

Maybe if you actually took the time to read instead of jumping to defend your stance you wouldn't have misinterpreted what I said. You can date and marry as many white/latin/asian women as you like. Feel free to fall in love with whoever you want. But when dudes say that they won't date black women that's a problem to me. When black men who as a whole are faltering when it comes to education and incarceration, have the audacity to look down on and abandon black women after they have faithfully stood by us, that is a problem to me. Like I said in the other thread, what a different song we would sing if the shoe was on the other foot.

And you speak of insecurity but what do you think causes this? Are you living in a vacuum? You think with the way black women are portrayed they can move as freely outside of our ethnicity as we can? But that's not your problem is it? If you don't want black women some other ethnicity will right? Yeah that makes sense. You, and most people as nearsighted as yourself, need to look at things from their perspective. I doubt you even read what she said. They have every reason to be hurt.

Dude we had a program on this on campus this past tuesday so I have more than enough experience...RECENT experience with this.


I'm not talking about who stands by who. I'm not. I'm talking about straight ATTRACTION. If a brother is attracted to a white woman, why whould I shed tears for the unmarried black woman?

You're not even reading. I did not say someone else will love them I said don't guilt trip people into doing what they want. This is what we fought for, not you want them all for yourselves and bring up stories to pidgeon hole people. It is you that really needs to open your eyes up.

I'm doing me and she shuold be trying to do her. If I don't who else will? These chicks these days have this sense of entitlement thats just not working any more. i should be free to do what I want and you should feel the same. If youre going to lose sleep over all the black men that chose other wise why aren't you losing sleep over the fact that other interracial couples are dealing with the same criticism. People want change but don't want to rationalize it.

Man I got 29 years worth of experience. I don't need a college program skewed by the thoughts of misguided undergrads trying to find understanding externally rather than looking internally and being cognizant of what's going on around them. You think they're trying to lay a guilt trip but that's not at all the case. If you feel guilty that's on you. Black women aren't saying black men should only date black women. They're just adverse to the notion that black women aren't worth dating, or that any other ethnicity is more worth dating. Especially AFTER one becomes successful.

Originally Posted by Wade187

YoRavage you really hit the nail on the head. If she would've said whatyou did it would be a different story, but she judged that man basedoff of his wifes skin color and thats flat out wrong. She says nothingabout him actually saying he doesn't date black women, and nothing ofher knowing he hasn't. I know how shes feeling has to do with the factthat some guys are like that and wont date black women simply causetheir black, but at the same time you cant put the people who are intoother woman into one category the same way those guys put black womenin one. I know plenty of people who do date black women, but also dateother races, and they always gotta deal with black women makingcomments when they are out with their lady. Aren't these women doingexactly what they are so angry is being done to them? They are judgingthese men without knowing them, making assumptions of what they arelike. Im just sayin

True some lesser women do judge and make assumptions, though that's not just a black women thing. But look at the totality of the circumstances in what she's trying to convey here. It's not just any Johnny-come-lately. He's an intelligent, wealthy, athlete. I think this is a big part of the "wince". See my previous reply. Why does success always seem to be apart of the equation?


I have no guilt my dude. You'd be lying if they weren't trying to grab all of us for themselves and crying foul when a sheep flees the flock. I have really nothign else to say. You must realize that you're asking for one thing and not willing to give up the other. Age or experience won't make you realize that. You are not obligated to anyone my dude.

 

[Smorgasbordgie]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

It's hard as hell to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. It really is. Limiting yourself just makes it that much harder. Or sometimes that person who you thought wasn't your type (because of race, religion, socio-economic background, etc) ends up being the other half of your essence. We don't plan for that, but it happens.


Celebrate love. Regardless of color or creed.

Well said!

 

[optimusprimeaphia]

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

Originally Posted by Deuce King

On a related note, I wonder how many black men would feel if a large population of black women were out dating white men.

I'm quite sure "we" would be heated if this were to occur on a wide-scale basis.

We definitely would be... Hell I would argue that there are some black men who get upset when they see a beautiful black female with someone who isn't black.
That said, the childish comments in here are disheartening. What does a woman's appearance have to do with her opinion on a stance, whether you agree with it or not? I see some of ya'll haven't learned what fallacies are seeing as you toss them around often.

And for someone who talked about white/Asian women being able to keep men better than black women, I'm not going to address whether that is true or not, but I believe most of us don't understand the reasons behind that. 

You have a lot of black women whom never grew up seeing their mother in a successful relationship, and in some cases being taught that men ain't crap by their bitter mothers who influenced them in an improper way. 

And EVEN MORE importantly, you have an entire group of women whom don't know the difference between submitting to their man and being submissive, because they are led to believe they are one in the same and that both have negative connotations. You can't blame them. 

And on top of that, I understand black men not wanting to deal with HEADstrong Black women (even though many black women say we don't want a strong black women) the truth is many black men go and mess with white and Asian women because they want a relationship to be easy and don't want a relationship they want to work at.

Optimus, you aren't helping the discussion being subjective by the way, you sound personally but hurt in some of your statements.


They're acting like a majority or something near a majority of black men are dating white women. We KNOW the numbers aren't that high.
We're applying something that applies to not that many people and blowing the issue up. Thats the guilt trip i'm talking about. Why the hell would that man want to hear all of that if A. hes going to have to constantly hear how much less of a man he is and B. why he can't just be happy with a choice that makes him feel good. They out here acting like theres a manual of love out here that malfunctioned. To black women...IM SORRY...I'll probably end up marrying a black woman even...but damn why are you feeling so damn hurt if this dude wants to make his move? it makes him HAPPY...its HIS life...maturity is accepting others for who they are and what they do. No one told ya'll to forget history but people are telling you that progression can not happen with a mentality of "well we fought for equality and the right to choose...so you could stick with me..." Why are they so obligated to locking down Black Men when exclusivity for relationships but ask the greater society for equality and level playing fields. Its backwards and a hinderance. You'd be foolish to feel that you could have both and maintain a progressive society. I see things for what they are. Its hypocritical for me to ask for all black women to want black men but still ask for societal equality and tolerance. I'd be denying someone else the right to dip into my pool when I know I constantly dip into theirs. Isn't that the point? Isn't that what we want at the end of the day? Otherwise, suck it up (essentially and i'm just being rational here) and make yourself a better candidate. Plus if a guy/gal doesn't want you...your race wouldn't have mattered! They wouldn't want you anyways. Gotta do you at the end of the day, no matter how it comes.

I feel so sorry for my friends who are dating these indian chicks only to hear that they're less of black men and how much of a disgrace they are. Black people have a cancer of mentality that holds hatred for those that violate this as if its a written rule with severe consequences and enforcement. Its a farce of an attitude that will only come when Black people start to realize that they are ultimately in charge of their destiny. Cyclical arguments like this will serve no good until people start building confidence and developing faith in themselves, not necessarily in a higher power (no offense if thats where you draw your strength from), and learn to address things as they are. It is, what it is.

 

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrimeAPhiA

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

Originally Posted by Deuce King

On a related note, I wonder how many black men would feel if a large population of black women were out dating white men.

I'm quite sure "we" would be heated if this were to occur on a wide-scale basis.

We definitely would be... Hell I would argue that there are some black men who get upset when they see a beautiful black female with someone who isn't black.
That said, the childish comments in here are disheartening. What does a woman's appearance have to do with her opinion on a stance, whether you agree with it or not? I see some of ya'll haven't learned what fallacies are seeing as you toss them around often.

And for someone who talked about white/Asian women being able to keep men better than black women, I'm not going to address whether that is true or not, but I believe most of us don't understand the reasons behind that. 

You have a lot of black women whom never grew up seeing their mother in a successful relationship, and in some cases being taught that men ain't crap by their bitter mothers who influenced them in an improper way. 

And EVEN MORE importantly, you have an entire group of women whom don't know the difference between submitting to their man and being submissive, because they are led to believe they are one in the same and that both have negative connotations. You can't blame them. 

And on top of that, I understand black men not wanting to deal with HEADstrong Black women (even though many black women say we don't want a strong black women) the truth is many black men go and mess with white and Asian women because they want a relationship to be easy and don't want a relationship they want to work at.

Optimus, you aren't helping the discussion being subjective by the way, you sound personally but hurt in some of your statements.

They're acting like a majority or something near a majority of black men are dating white women. We KNOW the numbers aren't that high.
We're applying something that applies to not that many people and blowing the issue up. Thats the guilt trip i'm talking about. Why the hell would that man want to hear all of that if A. hes going to have to constantly hear how much less of a man he is and B. why he can't just be happy with a choice that makes him feel good. They out here acting like theres a manual of love out here that manfunctioned. To black women...IM SORRY...I'll probably end up marrying a black woman even...but damn why are you feeling so damn hurt if this dude wants to make his move? it makes him HAPPY...its HIS life...maturity is accepting others for who they are and what tehy do. No one told ya'll to forget history but people are telling you that progression can not happen with a mentality of "well we fought for equality and the right to choose...so you could stick with me..." Why are they so obligated to locking down Black Men when exclusivly for relationships but ask the greater society for equality and level playing fields.

Its backwards and a hinderance. You'd be foolish to feel that you could have both and maintain a progressive society.


I don't necessarily think thats the issue. I think its more along the fact that black women want to be with successful (not necessarily athletes or entertainers) black men when many of us are not that. Now to be honest, I believe some of the issue with black women is that their scope of what is a good black man is skewed because the only black men that society and other women pay attention to are the ones with their names up in lights. And to be honest if some black women would equate a good man by his deeds and not by the fantasy life they want to live of marrying a successful black man whose making 6 figures, things would be a lot better when it comes to this topic. I understand Jill Scott's stance, but that doesn't apply for ALL black women. Black women don't get mad if it is a black man who is doing nothing with his life messing with a white woman, but the fact that many successful black men are being bXtches when it comes to relationships and don't want anything that will challenge them and expect relationships to be easy isn't not helping the issue.

 

[tcerda]

Originally Posted by balloonoboy

In the April issue of Essence

My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince. I didn’t immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.

Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul’s credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah’s Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common “wince

 

[chitown4eva]

Originally Posted by illfrozn

Originally Posted by niidawg3

Originally Posted by Diego

Originally Posted by bangtcg

 I understand what Jill Scott is saying.

I think the gripe really comes specifically towards white women.  If it was a black men and, let's say an Indian woman I don't think black women would care.  It is the fact that black men are hooking up with white women.

  
Sounds like racism to me.

No - its the fact that you hardly see a white woman with a broke black man (unless they are both broke). I think sistahs feel white women are gaming the system and grabbing the few well to do black men out there, even further destroying their chances ...

Case in point - i have been asked by African American women on several separate occasions whether my wife was white. They just assume that if a black man has his stuff together, he will be swooned and scooped up by an aggressive white woman before they can even get into the game.

I agree black women dont help themselves with the attitude (some of which is just propagation of stereotypes and not totally accurate). I think for them to equal the playing field, they need to go the extra mile like these white women do ... and stop referring to how they hang with their men during slavery.

What are black women doing today to support their men? They are supporting the kids alone - yes ... but before the kids and all the drama ... what were they doing to help push the black man up to the sky.

Thats the question i have for black women.
  

Amen, my brother. Black women need to skim off some of the attitude. It isn't always necessary to act a fool. Then again, if some of us got our act together, maybe Black women wouldn't always be ready to pop off. And want to know why else Black men go with other races? Because they're not spending thousands of dollars on a hair-do ...

And on a side note, Jill Scott is fine as hell and the bidness could be given to her ...

I don't care what race, its hard finding anyone worth being with these days.  It's a lack of morality and decency across the board. 

And yes, Jill Scott can get it.

 

[devv]

Why do people always say White women target successful black men. That's false.

You know how many White girls baby father is locked up or whatever. You know how many successful White women are with broke %+! black dudes. White women target successful black men just as much as black women do.

Money doesnt matter it is what it is you like who you like.

 

[optimusprimeaphia]

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

Originally Posted by OptimusPrimeAPhiA

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

Originally Posted by Deuce King

On a related note, I wonder how many black men would feel if a large population of black women were out dating white men.

I'm quite sure "we" would be heated if this were to occur on a wide-scale basis.

We definitely would be... Hell I would argue that there are some black men who get upset when they see a beautiful black female with someone who isn't black.
That said, the childish comments in here are disheartening. What does a woman's appearance have to do with her opinion on a stance, whether you agree with it or not? I see some of ya'll haven't learned what fallacies are seeing as you toss them around often.

And for someone who talked about white/Asian women being able to keep men better than black women, I'm not going to address whether that is true or not, but I believe most of us don't understand the reasons behind that. 

You have a lot of black women whom never grew up seeing their mother in a successful relationship, and in some cases being taught that men ain't crap by their bitter mothers who influenced them in an improper way. 

And EVEN MORE importantly, you have an entire group of women whom don't know the difference between submitting to their man and being submissive, because they are led to believe they are one in the same and that both have negative connotations. You can't blame them. 

And on top of that, I understand black men not wanting to deal with HEADstrong Black women (even though many black women say we don't want a strong black women) the truth is many black men go and mess with white and Asian women because they want a relationship to be easy and don't want a relationship they want to work at.

Optimus, you aren't helping the discussion being subjective by the way, you sound personally but hurt in some of your statements.

They're acting like a majority or something near a majority of black men are dating white women. We KNOW the numbers aren't that high.
We're applying something that applies to not that many people and blowing the issue up. Thats the guilt trip i'm talking about. Why the hell would that man want to hear all of that if A. hes going to have to constantly hear how much less of a man he is and B. why he can't just be happy with a choice that makes him feel good. They out here acting like theres a manual of love out here that manfunctioned. To black women...IM SORRY...I'll probably end up marrying a black woman even...but damn why are you feeling so damn hurt if this dude wants to make his move? it makes him HAPPY...its HIS life...maturity is accepting others for who they are and what tehy do. No one told ya'll to forget history but people are telling you that progression can not happen with a mentality of "well we fought for equality and the right to choose...so you could stick with me..." Why are they so obligated to locking down Black Men when exclusivly for relationships but ask the greater society for equality and level playing fields.

Its backwards and a hinderance. You'd be foolish to feel that you could have both and maintain a progressive society.

I don't necessarily think thats the issue. I think its more along the fact that black women want to be with successful (not necessarily athletes or entertainers) black men when many of us are not that. Now to be honest, I believe some of the issue with black women is that their scope of what is a good black man is skewed because the only black men that society and other women pay attention to are the ones with their names up in lights. And to be honest if some black women would equate a good man by his deeds and not by the fantasy life they want to live of marrying a successful black man whose making 6 figures, things would be a lot better when it comes to this topic. I understand Jill Scott's stance, but that doesn't apply for ALL black women. Black women don't get mad if it is a black man who is doing nothing with his life messing with a white woman, but the fact that many successful black men are being bXtches when it comes to relationships and don't want anything that will challenge them and expect relationships to be easy isn't not helping the issue.
Pick a side my dude.


I agree with the the green and disagree with the red.


We need to address this attitude situation honestly...I will honestly say that while I'm not looking for a push-over by any means, a lot of women are overly aggressive for no reason almost to the point of destroying relationships. Being a complement to your nature is different from being a conflict to your character in a relationship.

 

[tcerda]

***PAGING TARIQUE ELITE***

 

[ag 47]

Originally Posted by RavageBX

Originally Posted by RavageBX

What
a cruel joke we've played on ourselves, to sit here and act as if we
African American males have no fault in this. Why is it that we
champion interracial relationships as if dating within our own ranks is
undesirable? Seems like every other ethnicity loves their own more than
we do. "Black love" is but a fleeting memory of a time when we needed
each other. With dismal incarceration, death and education statistics
coupled along with racism and false concepts of beauty embedded in our
collective psyche, it's no wonder they're feeling some kind of way.
Wouldn't you?



Oh and contempt and jealousy? Get over yourselves.

I'm not saying you'd be jealous but you'd feel some kinda way. Maybe
just a little hurt. After all those years of fighting for equality and
acceptance it's like we don't need each other anymore. Actually more
like we think we don't need them. And we couldn't be any more wrong.

Sums up what I had to say in the other thread and pretty much mirrors Ms. Scott's sentiments. I have no problem with interracial relationships. I think they're great and definitely a step forward. However, I do have a problem with this mentality of abandonment. Lots of black men walking around acting like they don't need black women. I don't see how any self-respecting black man can say he would never or will never date a black girl and look their mothers in the faces.


Great post. Seriously.

 

[trasoul82]

It always gives me a laugh when I hear a Black woman say "I could tell he wasn't dating a sister." How? Because he looks happier than the average brother? I really want to know what it is.

I swear Blacks and Whites have this deep primal lust for each other and neither side wants to admit it.

My wife is Turkish and we have a son, btw. The funny thing is the Black women who hate now will have daughters who thank me. IMO, exotic mixes > any particular race.

 

[xx legod xx]

Why do black men have to limit their standards of dating just to satisfy black women and sometimes, other black men?
Why does it really matter? This is just a tiring argument. Why can't people just find their significant other without blaming someone?

 

[north dade represent]

I feel what she is saying to a certain extent, but really black women need to open their minds. I know they be like "Damn when a brother gets on and starts making paper why he always gotta go with the white broads?" Thing is you don't know that man's situation, maybe white girls always showed him more love than the sistas. Maybe he just had more opportunities with white women than sistas. Who knows? I'm not going to worry about it.

Attractive black women will always have more than their fair share of brothers to pick from unless their standards are out of this world. Mediocre or ugly black women, it is what it is.

 

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrimeAPhiA

RamZs8906 wrote:
I don't necessarily think thats the issue. I think its more along the fact that black women want to be with successful (not necessarily athletes or entertainers) black men when many of us are not that. Now to be honest, I believe some of the issue with black women is that their scope of what is a good black man is skewed because the only black men that society and other women pay attention to are the ones with their names up in lights. And to be honest if some black women would equate a good man by his deeds and not by the fantasy life they want to live of marrying a successful black man whose making 6 figures, things would be a lot better when it comes to this topic. I understand Jill Scott's stance, but that doesn't apply for ALL black women. Black women don't get mad if it is a black man who is doing nothing with his life messing with a white woman, but the fact that many successful black men are being bXtches when it comes to relationships and don't want anything that will challenge them and expect relationships to be easy isn't not helping the issue.

Pick a side my dude.


I agree with the the green and disagree with the red.


We need to address this attitude situation honestly...I will honestly say that while I'm not looking for a push-over by any means, a lot of women are overly aggressive for no reason almost to the point of destroying relationships. Being a complement to your nature is different from being a conflict to your character in a relationship.


Being overly aggressive is one thing, but I think a bigger issue is that A.) Many black women today do not know how to let a man be a man, B.) Believe Submitting to their man in a relationship is a negative thing so as a result they are more aggressive in relationships than they are passive when its necessary. and C.) Have seen too many households where the woman had to be the strong person for the household because the father was not around, and because you pick up what you are a witness to, don't understand what is needed from them in a relationship to be the woman a man wants to keep around. 



I agree with that statement whole heartedly but many men don't know the difference between a woman who will submit to their man and a woman who is submissive either. And in many cases successful black men want women who historically are submissive and let a relationship be what it is without caring to have some say in what goes on in the relationship. And I think thats where black women are having an issue because many of them have a problem submitting to their man because they think that doing so is the same as being submissive. But when they see successful black men dating and marrying these submissive women, the thoughts that Jill Scott spoke about arise. Hopefully that explains what I'm saying as clear as possible.

 

[dipsetgeneral]

It's hard for me because, my parents are from a foreign country, and they are a older generation so, They expect for me to find a woman of my same ethnicity...

They want to keep the Ghanian line going...

 

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by DipsetGeneral

It's hard for me because, my parents are from a foreign country, and they are a older generation so, They expect for me to find a woman of my same ethnicity...

They want to keep the Ghanian line going...

Thats a WHOLE 'nother thread worth of discussion...
Only in America do we see Race, ethnicity is a deeper battle...

 

[methedy24]

- So much love for Jilly Forreally from illy 

....Philly stand up

- We're soooo damn proud of you girl

- I'm gonna need at LEAST

one more album 

from you ma.  






- "Whenever you're around"