Dating a woman with children

[superblytrife]

^ Explain though.

 

[Nawzlew]

@ calling women with kids "damaged goods".

 

[a one]

Coming from someone who's tried it.. don't do it fam. Unless you're gonna wife that up.. DON'T DO IT.

 

[frostythepoptart]

Why is a woman with a kid damaged goods though?  

why wouldn't she be? if her stuff was together she'd be with the person she has kids with. it's excusable I say at age 35+ cause things change in life. but someone under 30 being single with kids clearly did some poor decision making.

why would you want to waste time on her kid when you can waste time with what should be "our" kid.

all the time, attention, and things a single chick with no kids can do vs stuff that a single chick with kids can not.

I 100% plan to plan a family, and not have an accident.

 

[shoefreakbaby]

why wouldn't she be? if her stuff was together she'd be with the person she has kids with. it's excusable I say at age 35+ cause things change in life. but someone under 30 being single with kids clearly did some poor decision making.

why would you want to waste time on her kid when you can waste time with what should be "our" kid.

all the time, attention, and things a single chick with no kids can do vs stuff that a single chick with kids can not.

I 100% plan to plan a family, and not have an accident.

This is not true.
I love how you dudes get amnesia and forget how trifling men can be and they can be amazing actors that play many roles.
Some dudes just dont want to commit, even the most fulfilling ( great sex, cook, clean, money) female cant make a man who wants to soil his oats commit.

Yes most chicks make poor decisions when it comes to the baby mama situation but not all.
Honestly half of these chicks are just women who didnt want to get an abortion and decided to make the best out of a situation.

You dont have to date a women with kids, I just dont see why some of you have to cal them "damage goods"

 

[rex ryan]

The damaged goods talk is an opinionated statement but its understandable for both men and women to prefer their significant other have kids from a previous relationship.

 

[shoefreakbaby]

I agree

I wouldnt date a man with kids, not because he is damage goods, but because I want to raise my kids a certain way and that would include my step kid.
That could cause conflict depending on if your ex is similar to me.

 

[rex ryan]

To me the damaged goods because they have a kid part is a reach but i can understsnd the perspective.

To me It's some females that I would consider damaged goods regardless if they have kids or not just because their very promiscuous or aren't career oriented. Ultimately I'd prefer a woman that has no kids but I would take a responsible single mother over a birdbrain woman that has no kids.

All that said, despite the fact that I have a child myself, I would be very reluctant to be seriously involved with a woman that has a kid. I'm not trying to play that role of fill in daddy for someone elses kids because I wouldn't force a child that's not there's on a woman I'm dating nor would I expect them to play that role.

 

[frostythepoptart]

To everyone arguing that having a kid is not damaged goods. can you give me an example of what would you consider someone to be damaged goods in a relationship?? Or do you think everyones perfect, and all problems are acceptable ones?

 

[rex ryan]

To me damaged goods = a girl that's the neighborhood jump that got ran thru by the 95 cowboys offensive line and when your holding her hand in the mall, the dude at the cell phone cart is snickering because him and frank the footlocker sales associate tag teamed her in the stockroom a few months back.

That are a female with a birdbrain mentality who isn't trying to or doesn't have the motivation to amount to anything in life is moreso damaged goods in my book then a chick with a kid.

 

[moonman818]

I was thinking about making this very thread right now!


I'm actually falling for a chick with a kid right now. I never thought that would happen, but this girl is real nice, has a great job, and everything I want in a female... Obviously it would be ideal if she didn't have a kid but damn, I'm seriously contemplating being with this girl.

Good thread.

 

[ruxxx]

Ever think to yourself "maybe there is a reason the baby daddy is out the picture"

If you're smart you would... BUT... you can't just assume it's because of her though.

 

[ruxxx]

why wouldn't she be? if her stuff was together she'd be with the person she has kids with.

Money you MUST be new here and by "here" I mean LIFE.

And i'm the LAST cat to cape up for a female (especially those who make poor decisions when it comes to the kinds of men they choose to deal with).

 

[fade on you]

^ Explain though.

You should have enough self respect to not allow yourself to be second to anyone, unless its your own child. Hold yourself to higher standards, IMO.

 

[fresh out dabox]

feamles are slick because they could also use theyre kid almost as an excuse. for example she could say ohh i cant hangout with u today because i cant find anyone to babysit my child. meanwhile shes out playing the field.

 

[captnaj phd]

"Damaged goods" is a subjective term used in the individual evaluation of the suitability of a candidate to be a romantic partner for that particular person...so a woman with undesired and ever-present kids (and the situations the kids automatically entail) can certainly be interpreted as damaged goods by a person thusly assessing her.

EDIT: "cost/benefit analysis"...definitely.

 

[lbrigs]

Could somebody who actually has legitemate(spell check) experience comment? Almost majority of the comments are blind sided with no support.

 

[Chiron]

Chicks w/ Kids : Dating : : UnDS : Buying Kicks (online)

- Some people will never buy UNDS shoes because they want them to start out fresh, even if they're going to get beat up

- Some UnDS kicks are still in very good condition that people might consider buying anyway because you get a lower price
- Some Kicks have extremely rare traits that make UnDS the only way to get them, if you really gotta have em.
- Some don't have a problem wearing kicks that have been on another's feet because they are less priveleged and take what they can get until their situation is better.

 Bottom line: It really comes down to what your own preferences are. I think this analogy is pretty accurate and supports the damaged goods theory. If you can "afford" brand new, you'll have a lot less worries about condition or "fit". I say it's like buying used kicks online because you have no way to see who was wearing them or what they endured. Maybe they were worn buy a guy who bought em a size too small and stretched em out. Maybe one guy totally thrashed em but cleaned em up before he sold em to you and you couldn't tell, so you're happily ignorant. It's very POSSIBLE to be satisfied with a girl that suits you and has kids, if you're looking to settle down, just like its possible to enjoy used kicks.... And by used I don't mean VVNDS,VNDS, or even NDS; kids =/= worn once.... I mean worn daily.

Really guys don't attack each others viewpoints, and stop making these threads. It's pretty straightforward. If any of my friends ask me, I'm gonna tell em don't do it, but they're going to do what they want anyway. The only reason these questions pop up is because your brain knows that chicks with kids need a serious cost/benefit analysis before investing, but no one (especially on an internet forum) can tell you if it will pay dividends down the road.

 

[Betonblck]

Ha, another thread on this turns into the damaged goods argument. If a woman as successful and respectable as Oprah has a kid, shes damaged goods. If a chick is a dummy that dropped out of high school and a jump off, she isnt damaged goods.

 

[AZwildcats]

Ha, another thread on this turns into the damaged goods argument. If a woman as successful and respectable as Oprah has a kid, shes damaged goods. If a chick is a dummy that dropped out of high school and a jump off, she isnt damaged goods.

Nobody claimed that in here at all

 

[solewoman]

whoa dere ...

Somebody's jimmies were rustled...

Sorry about that... wasn't even trying to hull you like that.

It's all good lol

No jimmies to be rustled sir

 

[shoelyesses]

This is not true.
I love how you dudes get amnesia and forget how trifling men can be and they can be amazing actors that play many roles.
Some dudes just dont want to commit, even the most fulfilling ( great sex, cook, clean, money) female cant make a man who wants to soil his oats commit.

Yes most chicks make poor decisions when it comes to the baby mama situation but not all.
Honestly half of these chicks are just women who didnt want to get an abortion and decided to make the best out of a situation.

You dont have to date a women with kids, I just dont see why some of you have to cal them "damage goods"

In most cases this is not true...nowadays moreso then often, woman dont date the dudes, they date the image of the dude. What i mean is that as of late society has this cookie cutter concept of what is a good man etc..and in most part women base it on materialistic things, and superfiscal intangibles rather then the substance of the person.

You have chicks dating dudes on the premise of he takes me to nice places, shows me a good time, we always go to eat etc... And i mean thats cool and all, but that doesnt equate to who they are as a person. So then based on those factors they decide they want to get pregnant have a kid etc...and then they learn about them. By then its to late.

Some learn some dont, and thus repeat the cycle over again. The idea of dudes being on some transformer type ish in most parts is hilarious (i mean some dudes do change up, but that usually equates to being raised by single mom etc...and im not gonna even get into that) Like i said in most parts the girls never actually knew the guy, they was just dating him based on what society says is good, and dating the image persona of the guy.

Some are damage goods, and often times it doesnt even have to do with there dating history, or them having multiple kids. Many of times it dates back to the environment they grew up in, the dicotomy of their parents relationship...and many other factors that went either unnoticed or not addressed. Then it plays out in the latter years as they grow older...thus women with multiple kids at an early age, multiple baby daddies etc.

I can understand why a single well to do guy wouldnt date a chick with kids. One if he wants to plan a start a life together with someone...thats kinda impossible seeing as the other party has already begun and depending on age/age of kids is halfway through its course. Many guys want to have a fresh start and not pick up where someone left off, or to compare it to a business, come in and save a struggling business.

And like others said the whole kids come first factor, the limitations and restraints put on your life due to her prior obligations (being the kids etc..) i always was a proponent of ppl should just enjoy one another before settling down and building a life together kids etc... that cant happen because she already has. Sure you can get some here and there, but the carefree lets just love live life etc... is basically impossible because if she is a good mother all that would be limited due to her obligation to her kids.

I could see if both of the parties are in the latter stages of their lives...and just want to find a companion to grow old with. But just because a woman decided to do this at the young age of 25 doesnt mean a dude who still is in his prime should deny himself his "glory days" his youth.

 

[rrlegend]

i couldnt be in a serious relationship with a baby mama, a divorced woman with a kid maybe. To me single mothers are basically wearing the Scarlett letter lol.Like a poster said before me if the woman was as good as she thinks her self to be  no dude would leave her especially one that she had a kid with and it reeks of a last minute desperate attempt to keep someone around 

 

[jordan23dotcom]

A single mom is single for a reason, you need to know why. From my experience GET AWAY

 

[teamjordan79]

Ha, another thread on this turns into the damaged goods argument. If a woman as successful and respectable as Oprah has a kid, shes damaged goods. If a chick is a dummy that dropped out of high school and a jump off, she isnt damaged goods.

most men wold still rather smash the JO high school drop out