Dating a woman with children

[josebronx]

Never doing it again. Maybe because I'm 24..

 

[DCAllAfrican]

ShoeFreak knows exactly what is being said here man. She just has to save face for the female demographic. But I am sure if she had a 23 year old son that asked her, "Mommy, should I holla at a single mother. "She would probably print these responses out and read them to him like a bed time story.

 

[shoefreakbaby]

I already said I wouldnt advise someone to date a person with a child because of the hassle.

Aren't we all "damaged goods" in some facet???

Nope only woman who bare children can be damaged

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Aight well cut out all of the arguing of semantics then. Damaged Goods vs. Baggage. Same difference. You can't tell someone not to call someone damaged goods if that is what they feel someone is. It isn't a humanitarian project.

 

[Betonblck]

Aren't we all "damaged goods" in some facet???

Nah, only women with kids aren damaged goods. A woman like Casey Anthony is ok though.

 

[youngdoc]

Aren't we all "damaged goods" in some facet???

I don't have kids but no woman would want to date me if she knew everything I've done.

 

[Sir San Diego]

I've dated a few women with children in the past and they are usually really quick to be clingy because they either miss having a man around to lay regular pipe/help out (nope, didn't trick), they're looking for a step-father for their children or a combo of both. None of them seemed to want a relationship based on compatibility, they wanted one based on filling their needs.

In all cases these women were not concerned with protection and seemed to have no issue with getting seeded up. One such woman even tried to hustle me based on a non-existent pregnancy test. I applaud her effort though. She was mad because I was done with our little fling.

The saddest part was all of them were quick to try to bring me around their kids.

As a divorced father of two who has no interest in cockblocking the next man lining up to get some well trained trim, I've seen both sides of the single mother equation. I'm good on them and wouldn't recommend it to a man trying to find a partner and future mate. The baggage is real and yes they are in a sense, damaged goods. Any man worth a damn will try to keep his family together. If the woman is supposedly a good decision maker, rational and mature, she would have done a better job of keeping things stable at home. In my opinion, it would be safe to assume that a woman who's single did something to make herself single. Yes, it does take two to tango. The single mother is definitely part of the reason for her situation. She wasn't a victim, she was a volunteer.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Nah, only women with kids aren damaged goods. A woman like Casey Anthony is ok though.

What is your agenda man. If you are going to be sarcastic at least let your sarcasm make some type of sense

 

[jay6jay]

What is your agenda man. If you are going to be sarcastic at least let your sarcasm make some type of sense

She is childless so he isn't damage goods any more

I thought it made sense

 

[DCAllAfrican]

She is childless so he isn't damage goods any more

I thought it made sense

It was extreme and pointless though. Which is why I asked him what his agenda was

 

[jay6jay]

Brolic you messing with birds
It took months for my ex to let me face time with her daughter. She was very cautious with her daughter




All the generalizations in this thread are extreme so csguy comment blends right in.


As for "damage good" the word is disrespectful but Its w/e as long as you dudes ain't calling these females that to their faces

 

[DCAllAfrican]

As for "damage good" the word is disrespectful but Its w/e as long as you dudes ain't calling these females that to their faces

Yea that was my point. Folks call folks whatever behind their backs. I doubt anyone is saying that to people's faces. So that is why I was like stop crying about the words being used.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Nah, I'm not messing with birds. I was messing with women with issues which is why their marriages/relationships did not work out.

My current girlfriend is younger than me by a few years and thankfully has never been pregnant. I'm good on women with kids from past relationships.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

But I will defend the females for a second. You can't make a general statement of, "They are a single mother for a reason."

Yea it is for a reason but it isn't always the female's fault.

I know one girl (good girl from what I know, but you know you never KNOW) and she basically told me dude said BYE when she told him she was pregnant. She said everything was fine up until that day. Hasn't heard from dude since then.

 

[Sir San Diego]

That does happen, but I would argue that she did a poor job of selecting the man she got pregnant with, which does make her situation partly her fault and her partly responsible for the reason she's a single mother.

A poor judge of character doesn't get a pass from being labeled a fool and I'm not trying to have a fool for a girlfriend or a wife. Been there and done that.

Besides that, you have NO IDEA of what went on behind closed doors. Don't be a sucker and believe everything she's telling you. There's always two sides to every story. You don't know the circumstances behind her pregnancy.

 

[moonman818]

Nah, I'm not messing with birds. I was messing with women with issues which is why their marriages/relationships did not work out.

My current girlfriend is younger than me by a few years and thankfully has never been pregnant. I'm good on women with kids from past relationships.

Ol hypocrite *** boiii.

 

[ricky409]

Lets face it.

If you had a super dime breezy that was cool as a fan and smiled a lot.. that had a kid...

And compare her to that EXACT same super dime breezy that was coolas a fan and smiled a lot... but didn't have a kid...

Who would be more desirable?

Same for dudes...

On an even playing field... kids hinder you from finding significant partners..

This isn't an even playing field though. People without kids may be a little less nice and cool and accommodating comoared to one with kids.

 

[miniojw]

But I will defend the females for a second. You can't make a general statement of, "They are a single mother for a reason."

Yea it is for a reason but it isn't always the female's fault.

I know one girl (good girl from what I know, but you know you never KNOW) and she basically told me dude said BYE when she told him she was pregnant. She said everything was fine up until that day. Hasn't heard from dude since then.

No just no. That girl you know was played. The guy made a nice image that she believed. She should not have let him go raw point blank. I just turned 29 and I finally understand why women get away with this. It's because we let them. We always see females as the victim but in reality it's there fault. They make piss poor judgement without thinking about the future. IMO of course.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

That does happen, but I would argue that she did a poor job of selecting the man she got pregnant with, which does make her situation partly her fault and her partly responsible for the reason she's a single mother.

A poor judge of character doesn't get a pass from being labeled a fool and I'm not trying to have a fool for a girlfriend or a wife. Been there and done that.

Besides that, you have NO IDEA of what went on behind closed doors. Don't be a sucker and believe everything she's telling you. There's always two sides to every story. You don't know the circumstances behind her pregnancy.

And yea, I said, "I know one girl (good girl from what I know, but you know you never KNOW) " ~ for a reason

But a dude leaving a girl after she is pregnant can't always be detectable BEFORE that situation occurs. That is a crisis type situation. You can't always know how someone can act in the time of crisis until a crisis occurs.

So I am not sure the, "Bad character judge" can be applied in all instances because sometimes you just never know.

 

[bilboshmangins]

That does happen, but I would argue that she did a poor job of selecting the man she got pregnant with, which does make her situation partly her fault and her partly responsible for the reason she's a single mother.

A poor judge of character doesn't get a pass from being labeled a fool and I'm not trying to have a fool for a girlfriend or a wife. Been there and done that.

Besides that, you have NO IDEA of what went on behind closed doors. Don't be a sucker and believe everything she's telling you. There's always two sides to every story. You don't know the circumstances behind her pregnancy.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

No just no. That girl you know was played. The guy made a nice image that she believed. She should not have let him go raw point blank. I just turned 29 and I finally understand why women get away with this. It's because we let them. We always see females as the victim but in reality it's there fault. They make piss poor judgement without thinking about the future. IMO of course.

I mean they were together for like 4 years, so I don't know how much condom usage we should expect them to engage in

I get what you are saying man. Trust me. I am the same dude folks around here claim I women bash non-stop. Women need to be held responsible for their actions.

I am just saying that dudes need to step up and handle their business (kids).

 

[Sir San Diego]

Ol hypocrite *** boiii.

Not at all, I did everything I could to keep my family together, but there's only so much one person can do when the other party is only concerned with his/her agenda. I learn from past mistakes and regardless of the love I have for my kids, I'm not trying to play step-dad to anyone's kids or invite their past into my life.

I also say this as someone that was raised by a step-mom and saw her dealing with all kinds of foolery from my biological mom who basically isn't worth ****. Even saw her up the gat on my step-mom and try to blast her out of saltiness... when I was a kid. Too much potential drama and baggage in those situations.

 

[miniojw]

That does happen, but I would argue that she did a poor job of selecting the man she got pregnant with, which does make her situation partly her fault and her partly responsible for the reason she's a single mother.

A poor judge of character doesn't get a pass from being labeled a fool and I'm not trying to have a fool for a girlfriend or a wife. Been there and done that.

Besides that, you have NO IDEA of what went on behind closed doors. Don't be a sucker and believe everything she's telling you. There's always two sides to every story. You don't know the circumstances behind her pregnancy.

And yea, I said, "I know one girl (good girl from what I know, but you know you never KNOW) " ~ for a reason

But a dude leaving a girl after she is pregnant can't always be detectable BEFORE that situation occurs. That is a crisis type situation. You can't always know how someone can act in the time of crisis until a crisis occurs.

So I am not sure the, "Bad character judge" can be applied in all instances because sometimes you just never know.

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[mugen81]

In most cases this is not true...nowadays moreso then often, woman dont date the dudes, they date the image of the dude. What i mean is that as of late society has this cookie cutter concept of what is a good man etc..and in most part women base it on materialistic things, and superfiscal intangibles rather then the substance of the person.

You have chicks dating dudes on the premise of he takes me to nice places, shows me a good time, we always go to eat etc... And i mean thats cool and all, but that doesnt equate to who they are as a person. So then based on those factors they decide they want to get pregnant have a kid etc...and then they learn about them. By then its to late.

Some learn some dont, and thus repeat the cycle over again. The idea of dudes being on some transformer type ish in most parts is hilarious (i mean some dudes do change up, but that usually equates to being raised by single mom etc...and im not gonna even get into that) Like i said in most parts the girls never actually knew the guy, they was just dating him based on what society says is good, and dating the image persona of the guy.

Some are damage goods, and often times it doesnt even have to do with there dating history, or them having multiple kids. Many of times it dates back to the environment they grew up in, the dicotomy of their parents relationship...and many other factors that went either unnoticed or not addressed. Then it plays out in the latter years as they grow older...thus women with multiple kids at an early age, multiple baby daddies etc.

I can understand why a single well to do guy wouldnt date a chick with kids. One if he wants to plan a start a life together with someone...thats kinda impossible seeing as the other party has already begun and depending on age/age of kids is halfway through its course. Many guys want to have a fresh start and not pick up where someone left off, or to compare it to a business, come in and save a struggling business.

And like others said the whole kids come first factor, the limitations and restraints put on your life due to her prior obligations (being the kids etc..) i always was a proponent of ppl should just enjoy one another before settling down and building a life together kids etc... that cant happen because she already has. Sure you can get some here and there, but the carefree lets just love live life etc... is basically impossible because if she is a good mother all that would be limited due to her obligation to her kids.

I could see if both of the parties are in the latter stages of their lives...and just want to find a companion to grow old with. But just because a woman decided to do this at the young age of 25 doesnt mean a dude who still is in his prime should deny himself his "glory days" his youth.

This " damaged goods talk" goes both ways, I don't know if its fake sarcasm or just plain ignorance, but both men and women can be damaged and make poor decisions
It's pretty simple,start wearing jimmies so you won't become a baby daddy to a bish that screams banana creampie
Stop smashing chicks with kids when you know the end result is them wanting a family
Too many chicks out here to conquer that don't have baggage
If you are mature and both of you are feeling each other, life's too short and take a chance but proceed with caution
At the end of the day we are all crazy and to degrade a girl because of her past is down right stupid because the ish I have done before meeting wifey, I know damn well I don't deserve this chance but life is about getting up from being knockdown

 

[shoefreakbaby]

Not at all, I did everything I could to keep my family together, but there's only so much one person can do when the other party is only concerned with his/her agenda. I learn from past mistakes and regardless of the love I have for my kids, I'm not trying to play step-dad to anyone's kids or invite their past into my life.
.

Naw you did something wrong bruh, something.


You damage goods now papi, but thats alright.

I know a lot of women who would give men with kids a chance. A lot