Dating a woman with children

[a blinkin]

i havent dated a girl in years...

i just go for the yambs...

so i cant help you there, famb.

My man

I think a lot of you missed what OP said. He mentioned the woman being levelheaded and having her **** together. IMO, those types of single mothers are different than the ratchet, 20-year-old broads some of you seem to be describing.

Any woman with any sense isn't going to hand over the job of disciplining her kids to someone she's dating. The type of woman that would do that is someone to avoid at all costs, and they don't represent a lot of single mothers out there. Just sayin'.

Same goes with a woman expecting you to pay for her kid's **** when you're casually dating. A woman with sense isn't doing all that. I understand not wanting to even touch a woman with kids for fear of her being that type of chick, but don't typecast every single mother the same. There are normal ones out there--hell, some of them are some of your mothers.

Repped. I respect this response. A lot of people only read the title of the thread.

 

[rell826]

I don't think anyone missed what he said. Most in here were giving him sound advice as a young man who has something going for himself and would be desirable by women his age with no children and goals. Why settle for someone who's technically damaged goods?

For me, it doesn't matter if she's level headed and has her stuff together. I would never date a woman that has children for the reasons aforementioned. As I already guessed, some of you have your inherit biases toward the situation because you've either wifed one up already or you were the child of one, so you know how it feels.
 

 

[a blinkin]

Man, I already said the question didn't apply directly to me. It was proposed because of the interaction I have with a few females at my jaab, not because I was considering dating one in particular.

 

[captnaj phd]

I know a dude who dated a chick who had a kid from a previous relationship, he married her, adopted her kid, they only stayed married for a year tops. Now he paying child support for her kid

Dummy

Ouch.


On topic tho, nah. She would literally have to be the perfect woman in all other rating areas, and odds are if she was, nobody would have let her get away.
 

If you stay with her long enough, you WILL end up playing a significant role in her children's lives...there's zero getting around it. It took a while for me to even start wanting the kid I unintentionally made from scratch, I damn sure don't want the next man's. If you're not down to potentially be a substitute daddy at some point, I can't recommend it for anything serious.

 

 

[sir charles]

I know a dude who dated a chick who had a kid from a previous relationship, he married her, adopted her kid, they only stayed married for a year tops. Now he paying child support for her kid


Dummy

Ouch.



On topic tho, nah. She would literally have to be the perfect woman in all other rating areas, and odds are if she was, nobody would have let her get away.

 

If you stay with her long enough, you WILL end up playing a significant role in her children's lives...there's zero getting around it. It took a while for me to even start wanting the kid I unintentionally made from scratch, I damn sure don't want the next man's. If you're not down to potentially be a substitute daddy at some point, I can't recommend it for anything serious.


 

There is the chance that the baby father died, cheated, did something wrong, etc which made her leave him. Why does everyone assume that the woman was in the wrong causing her to be single?

 

[captnaj phd]

There is the chance that the baby father died, cheated, did something wrong, etc which made her leave him. Why does everyone assume that the woman was in the wrong causing her to be single?

True, which is why I said "odds are". I know **** happens and men make ****** up decisions...hell, Usher left Chilli for the Suns' mascot. I'm just saying that in many cases, there is a reason she's single.

 

[pip777]

There is the chance that the baby father died, cheated, did something wrong, etc which made her leave him. Why does everyone assume that the woman was in the wrong causing her to be single?

True, which is why I said "odds are". I know **** happens and men make ****** up decisions...hell, Usher left Chilli for the Suns' mascot. I'm just saying that in many cases, there is a reason she's single.

 

[youngjaybrooks]

I know a dude who dated a chick who had a kid from a previous relationship, he married her, adopted her kid, they only stayed married for a year tops. Now he paying child support for her kid

Dummy

What??? Adopted her kid the dad wasn't in the child's life

 

[solewoman]

Finding a single man without kids is about as rare as finding those Jordan 2 eminems.

I've dated men with kids never works out. I lucked up and found a man my age who is doing very well career wise and has no kids. So I'm staying put for now.

It's a losing battle trying to debate that it's a double standard for men with kids vs women with kids... So I won't bother. No matter what nt will view the woman negatively. At the end of the day you have to do what works for you personally.

 

[mugen81]

Finding a single man without kids is about as rare as finding those Jordan 2 eminems.

I've dated men with kids never works out. I lucked up and found a man my age who is doing very well career wise and has no kids. So I'm staying put for now.

It's a losing battle trying to debate that it's a double standard for men with kids vs women with kids... So I won't bother. No matter what nt will view the woman negatively. At the end of the day you have to do what works for you personally.

In a relationship but I don't have kids, my lady doesn't either
Guess I fit the eminem quote

 

[ricky409]

Finding a single man without kids is about as rare as finding those Jordan 2 eminems.

I've dated men with kids never works out. I lucked up and found a man my age who is doing very well career wise and has no kids. So I'm staying put for now.

It's a losing battle trying to debate that it's a double standard for men with kids vs women with kids... So I won't bother. No matter what nt will view the woman negatively. At the end of the day you have to do what works for you personally.

its really that tough out here for the yambs?

 

[solewoman]

its really that tough out here for the yambs?

It's not about "yambs" smh
For some it's about finding a serious companion to build a future with.

If it was just about "yambs" would it matter if they had a kid or not...probably not smh

 

[gllahone84]

It's not about "yambs" smh
For some it's about finding a serious companion to build a future with.

If it was just about "yambs" would it matter if they had a kid or not...probably not smh

 

[ricky409]

It's not about "yambs" smh
For some it's about finding a serious companion to build a future with.

If it was just about "yambs" would it matter if they had a kid or not...probably not smh

whoa dere ...

Somebody's jimmies were rustled...

Sorry about that... wasn't even trying to hull you like that.

 

[statis22]

I don't think anyone missed what he said. Most in here were giving him sound advice as a young man who has something going for himself and would be desirable by women his age with no children and goals. Why settle for someone who's technically damaged goods?

For me, it doesn't matter if she's level headed and has her stuff together. I would never date a woman that has children for the reasons aforementioned. As I already guessed, some of you have your inherit biases toward the situation because you've either wifed one up already or you were the child of one, so you know how it feels.

 

You don't know what that female's situation could have been previous, why would you write her off as damaged goods?

 

[frostythepoptart]

too much of a headache it literally doesn't matter what **** she hsas together.

her child always comes first. and another man will always be in the picture of her family.

there are way too many women out there without baggage, why deal with that. guys get hooked onto chicks too easily.

 

[mr jordan04]

Really just a Milf...

Can't play step dadddy right now.

 

[superblytrife]

Personally, I've never understood the "her child will come first" angle, as if that's a negative.  Shouldn't that be a positive thing?  

*shrugs*

 

[superblytrife]

I don't think anyone missed what he said. Most in here were giving him sound advice as a young man who has something going for himself and would be desirable by women his age with no children and goals. Why settle for someone who's technically damaged goods?

For me, it doesn't matter if she's level headed and has her stuff together. I would never date a woman that has children for the reasons aforementioned. As I already guessed, some of you have your inherit biases toward the situation because you've either wifed one up already or you were the child of one, so you know how it feels.
 

Why is a woman with a kid damaged goods though?  

 

[rell826]

1) I don't care for her situation.

2) Because its undesirable.

3) I don't have to explain myself. Many men feel the same exact way as do women who dont want to fet involved with a man with children. They want someone to call their own instead of picking up where the last person left off.

 

[tp800]

It's not about "yambs" smh
For some it's about finding a serious companion to build a future with.

If it was just about "yambs" would it matter if they had a kid or not...probably not smh

I lolled.

 

[tp800]

Why is a woman with a kid damaged goods though?  

Unfortunately, I think that's just a stigma that some people attach to girls/women who are single mohers. I'm guilty of that line f thinking as well. Honestly,I don't know why I do it, To answer the OP, IMO I would stay far away from putting yourself in that situation of actually starting a relationship.Honestly im pretty selfish, so maybe thats why I think this way, but ONE Kid is baggage as it Is. TWO kids...... Hell nah. Both of my parents advised me, especially my mom, to stear clear of girls/women with baggage attached.

 

[the nomad]

You live in lala land

I long for your future post where all your little bubbles get burst

Im waiting

This


Depends on the female, sometimes kids can make or break the relationship. You might be perfect for her but not her kids.

Or you might be perfect for her kids and not her.


Preferably no, but if she's special I'd be a fool to say no because she has a kid or two.

 

[superblytrife]

1) I don't care for her situation.

2) Because its undesirable.

3) I don't have to explain myself. Many men feel the same exact way as do women who dont want to fet involved with a man with children. They want someone to call their own instead of picking up where the last person left off.

Because you don't care for her situation and find it undesirable doesn't equate to someone being "damaged goods" though.  

I respect your opinion and desire to be with a chick with no kids--have absolutely no problem with that stance and I fully get it.  

It just seems mighty judgmental (or biased, as you like to say) to write all chicks off with kids as "damaged goods".  You really have no clue about that person unless you know them personally.  Bias goes both ways, playboy.  

 

[kickstart]

Personally, I've never understood the "her child will come first" angle, as if that's a negative.  Shouldn't that be a positive thing?  

*shrugs*

It is but when you're dating you really see how it's a negative.