Confessions

Apologies for the length.

So I've been sitting next to this girl at work for about 9 months. We know each other real well by now, she is my closest female friend. She introduced me to a couple girls I dated and has been a good friend since I've known her. I've talked with her a lot about my mom going thru cancer treatments etc and she told me if I ever needed a ride to go visit my mom to just say he word. So like I said, been a great friend for the most part.

Lately though we've been clashing, I feel like mostly through no fault of my own. She has seemingly been trying to piss me off on purpose and even admitted to doing it, and said she's surprised we haven't gotten in a fight because we're so alike. Anyways, my roommate/coworker, her and I usually hang out on the weekends or for happy hours, she sleeps at our place probably 2 nights a week cus we live close to work. Anyways, recently all of a sudden they've been doing lots of stuff without me, so I figured they might be hooking up or something. Long story short, I have good reason to believe that's not the case but they are making much less of an effort to include me than before.

Yesterday I asked her about doing a movie night since we had been meaning to do one and we might be snowed in today, she basically gave no response and wasn't interested. I told her id probably leave work early then and come back later after dinner.

My roommate texts me after dinner asking if I'm in for the movie night with her, she had basically brushed me off only to plan the same thing with him about an hr later after she knew Id be working that night.

Given that I'd been feeling like a 3rd wheel for about a month now, I was curious and checked their G-chat logs at work (everybody's pw is their last name). I felt really terrible about invading their privacy like that but did it anyways.

In the chat they were talking about what sounded like a short trip/drive they had already planned for Friday. She said something like
"What are we gonna tell Sam(me)? That you're running errands and I'm with my sister? I don't wanna lie but I don't want to have to deal with him." And they basically decided to lie to me about what their plans were to avoid me this weekend.

While I definitely am in the wrong for spying on their chat, these are two of my closest friends and I feel like it's beyond messed up for them to do me like that. I thought we were cool and she enjoyed spending time with me, but lately have been feeling the cold shoulder from her and to see it spelled out like that hurts pretty bad to be honest. Especially because I don't feel that Ive done anything wrong or changed since we've known each other. I'm trying to move on like I didn't read anything but its hard to act straight knowing somebody would lie to you just to avoid hanging out with you.

You alone in this world pleighboi.
 
you see them as your best friends in the world , i guess they dont feel the same about you...


move on ..... 8)
 
^ truth
just sucks that you have to live/work with them.
so called real friends switch up real quick :smh:
 
5am6oody72 -

That was kind of grimey on both parties. I am sorry to hear about your mother, I know how difficult dealing with a loved one going through cancer treatments can be. Have you noticed that your attitudes or perceptions have changed since she was diagnosed or started treatment? I don't know you personally but perhaps its become difficult for them to be around you due to a change in attitude or personality sparked by these events. I'm not saying that's the case but it might be a good idea to sit back and take a look at yourself. If you truly don't think anything has changed then it sounds like you need to just learn to get by without them. People grow apart, thats just part of life. Unfortunately it will be more difficult to come out and approach them about it without divulging that youve invaded her privacy by hacking into her chat logs. Anyway, I hope everything gets figured out for you and that your mother succeeds in beating this disease.
 
im a blacc male in my early-mid 20s, i praise to jah; so you know the visual that comes with it; and every female i meet cant accept my dreads and beard. Financially im superior and all that good ****, but idk, my employer doesn't mind. Maybe im thinking too deep into this. I refuse to cut anything off, ima be alone for life :/

where you from fam? You said praise to Jah so I'm assuming you a rasta from the west indies. I find it hard to believe you can't find yourself and nice woman who can accept your faith and style. Maybe you running into the wrong chicks.
 
Apologies for the length.

So I've been sitting next to this girl at work for about 9 months. We know each other real well by now, she is my closest female friend. She introduced me to a couple girls I dated and has been a good friend since I've known her. I've talked with her a lot about my mom going thru cancer treatments etc and she told me if I ever needed a ride to go visit my mom to just say he word. So like I said, been a great friend for the most part.

Lately though we've been clashing, I feel like mostly through no fault of my own. She has seemingly been trying to piss me off on purpose and even admitted to doing it, and said she's surprised we haven't gotten in a fight because we're so alike. Anyways, my roommate/coworker, her and I usually hang out on the weekends or for happy hours, she sleeps at our place probably 2 nights a week cus we live close to work. Anyways, recently all of a sudden they've been doing lots of stuff without me, so I figured they might be hooking up or something. Long story short, I have good reason to believe that's not the case but they are making much less of an effort to include me than before.

Yesterday I asked her about doing a movie night since we had been meaning to do one and we might be snowed in today, she basically gave no response and wasn't interested. I told her id probably leave work early then and come back later after dinner.

My roommate texts me after dinner asking if I'm in for the movie night with her, she had basically brushed me off only to plan the same thing with him about an hr later after she knew Id be working that night.

Given that I'd been feeling like a 3rd wheel for about a month now, I was curious and checked their G-chat logs at work (everybody's pw is their last name). I felt really terrible about invading their privacy like that but did it anyways.

In the chat they were talking about what sounded like a short trip/drive they had already planned for Friday. She said something like
"What are we gonna tell Sam(me)? That you're running errands and I'm with my sister? I don't wanna lie but I don't want to have to deal with him." And they basically decided to lie to me about what their plans were to avoid me this weekend.

While I definitely am in the wrong for spying on their chat, these are two of my closest friends and I feel like it's beyond messed up for them to do me like that. I thought we were cool and she enjoyed spending time with me, but lately have been feeling the cold shoulder from her and to see it spelled out like that hurts pretty bad to be honest. Especially because I don't feel that Ive done anything wrong or changed since we've known each other. I'm trying to move on like I didn't read anything but its hard to act straight knowing somebody would lie to you just to avoid hanging out with you.

Sorry to say it but you gotfa get over that **** bro. That's life - if you never lost a "good" or best friend in your lifetime, consider yourself lucky. Just gotta say eff it. Or you could beg for "friends" that don't like you. The choice is yours.
 
5am6oody72 -

That was kind of grimey on both parties. I am sorry to hear about your mother, I know how difficult dealing with a loved one going through cancer treatments can be. Have you noticed that your attitudes or perceptions have changed since she was diagnosed or started treatment? I don't know you personally but perhaps its become difficult for them to be around you due to a change in attitude or personality sparked by these events. I'm not saying that's the case but it might be a good idea to sit back and take a look at yourself. If you truly don't think anything has changed then it sounds like you need to just learn to get by without them. People grow apart, thats just part of life. Unfortunately it will be more difficult to come out and approach them about it without divulging that youve invaded her privacy by hacking into her chat logs. Anyway, I hope everything gets figured out for you and that your mother succeeds in beating this disease.

Thanks for the advice. My mom has a somewhat treatable form of lymphoma, so the prognosis is better than it could be. After the first round of chemo she took it really hard and it killed me to see her suffer that much, but overall my general demeanor/personality hasn't changed. I totally get what you're saying about not wanting to spend time around somebody when they're depressed/going through something, but that hasn't really been me. My mom is feeling close to 100% after the second round so I have been in good spirits; I don't think its that. In general I'm pretty good natured and joke around a lot; I've done standup comedy before. I don't think she's avoiding me cus I'm moping or anything like that.

To the dude saying move on etc, I live and work with my roommate and the other girl I'm sitting next to every day for 10 hrs. And she's usually with us outside of work 3+ days of the week. Not exactly easy to move on or avoid them.
 
I text, surf the net, etc. & knee drive. It's not safe or smart and I really need to break the habit. 
 
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5am6oody72 -

That was kind of grimey on both parties. I am sorry to hear about your mother, I know how difficult dealing with a loved one going through cancer treatments can be. Have you noticed that your attitudes or perceptions have changed since she was diagnosed or started treatment? I don't know you personally but perhaps its become difficult for them to be around you due to a change in attitude or personality sparked by these events. I'm not saying that's the case but it might be a good idea to sit back and take a look at yourself. If you truly don't think anything has changed then it sounds like you need to just learn to get by without them. People grow apart, thats just part of life. Unfortunately it will be more difficult to come out and approach them about it without divulging that youve invaded her privacy by hacking into her chat logs. Anyway, I hope everything gets figured out for you and that your mother succeeds in beating this disease.

Thanks for the advice. My mom has a somewhat treatable form of lymphoma, so the prognosis is better than it could be. After the first round of chemo she took it really hard and it killed me to see her suffer that much, but overall my general demeanor/personality hasn't changed. I totally get what you're saying about not wanting to spend time around somebody when they're depressed/going through something, but that hasn't really been me. My mom is feeling close to 100% after the second round so I have been in good spirits; I don't think its that. In general I'm pretty good natured and joke around a lot; I've done standup comedy before. I don't think she's avoiding me cus I'm moping or anything like that.

To the dude saying move on etc, I live and work with my roommate and the other girl I'm sitting next to every day for 10 hrs. And she's usually with us outside of work 3+ days of the week. Not exactly easy to move on or avoid them.
You don't have stop being their friend. But stop depending on them or looking to them for any sort of social bonding. You just need to do your own thing. She's given the signals that she doesn't want to include you all the time. That means you don't have to feel guilty at all now about hanging out with other friends, or just alone. There's nothing wrong with taking some extra time to focus on yourself. Hit the gym, read some books, pick-up a new hobby. Life is too short and your time is too valuable to spend any second of it with people who are going to neglect you.

Also, hope your mom does well.
 
Okay. Just when I think I am over that J *****, she post on fb a tattoo that is very near the same one I got a few months ago. I understand it is a common tattoo, but c'mon bruh. You serious? The weird part is that she has never seen mine. Just further proof that she should have been mine. :smh:
 
As much as I want to get a lot off my chest here, I wont because I'm just to myself like that... I feel like it would be another mistake amongst many that I've made recently...

So there... There's a confession. I make the dumbest mistakes way too often. Sometimes I feel like a disappointment.... Probably said too much already...
 
Yah once I am completely on my own I am moving to NYC or The Bay and burning any bridge back to Chicago. I ******g hate it here. The city itself is amazing. Everyone I deal with sucks
 
I'm slowly starting to have mixed feeling about my bro.

I get easily irritated when he's around me.

Might be bc I seem him going nowhere in life and that angers me. Hope I'm wrong.

On another note, think I have a thing for chubby asian chicks
embarassed.gif
. *Ye shrug*
 
I have a nail fetish :smh: ...from french tips to designer nails but not the super ghetto ones are all sexy to me
 
You don't have stop being their friend. But stop depending on them or looking to them for any sort of social bonding. You just need to do your own thing. She's given the signals that she doesn't want to include you all the time. That means you don't have to feel guilty at all now about hanging out with other friends, or just alone. There's nothing wrong with taking some extra time to focus on yourself. Hit the gym, read some books, pick-up a new hobby. Life is too short and your time is too valuable to spend any second of it with people who are going to neglect you.

Also, hope your mom does well.

Thanks for the advice, though I feel it won't be too applicable in the end I still appreciate it :lol:

ANYwho, I decided today I'd give them the benefit of the doubt in case they were hooking up and just didn't want to tell me, and wait awhile to see if anything like that came up to clue me in. I really felt like neither of them could possibly be as two-faced as I thought from reading the chat log, and like I said I felt that personally I had done nothing that would make them all of a sudden wanna avoid me. I put forth an Oscar worthy performance today trying to pretend like I hadn't found out they were planning on lying to me to ditch me. I asked them both separately about what their plans were on Friday and they both did the worst job lying I've EVER seen. :lol: Granted, I knew they were lying but they were both super awkward in giving their answers and gave all the tell tale signs word to Lie To Me. Turns out that they are actually hooking up and thus lying about what they're doing this Friday, so I severely overreacted :lol: Them "not wanting to deal with me" was clearly meant as in deal with me finding out about them. In this sense I can totally understand them lying to me about it because we all work together and they don't want it getting spread around the office, and they both have preached from their high horse about not dating/hooking up with coworkers :lol:

/crisis averted.
 
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been really content about my job lately and i think it rubbed on my co workers when i told them 2 weeks ago. Been working at a aerospace job for the last 5.5 years and its just same ish every 2 days over and over and over, repetiton. I cant see how these people around me work there for 15-20 plus year and just love there jobs knowing that their nothing but robots and a number to their badge an can get laid off when ish hit the fan (customers not buying or ish workin right which you might here on the news). i believe destiny got something better for what i got in stores now but i dont know what it is. I got 6 more months till i hit my top pay on my pay scale which i can potentially make over 100 a year with over time. I think its the money that gets us all stuck here and it sucks us out or lives.  think ima go back to school and start over.... only too business 101 and failed english 101 since i got out of HS and im 26 FML
 
Been like 7 months and I still don't have a job

For some reason (lazy) I'm not lookin for one
Jan I went for office depot and walkd away from it
That bike ride home sucked
Straight felt like a pos

I really wana give my dad a piece of my mind about my brother
He killed a 58 year old woman and her blind son
He's either getting life or the death sentence and my pops said he didn't want to go see him
Like what kinda **** is that yo!
 
I wish I could get a pet, I need something to love.

I think I am destined to fail sometimes man, my brothers doing good but I'm not doing **** but passing time by.
 
I wish I could get a pet, I need something to love.
I think I am destined to fail sometimes man, my brothers doing good but I'm not doing **** but passing time by.

Fam you know turtles are :pimp:

Cop a red eared slider, and treat it like I do mine. Keep it on the shoulders :pimp:

You just have to find what you excel at though, my sister is doing good but I'm kinda suckish at life apparently. I'm bad at math, so that handicaps me in a lot of areas. But I found psychology and that is where I do well, and you can't tell me nothin when it comes to it. Word to kanye.

Maybe you should look into psych, you might like it.
 
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