Confessions

[paulwest1985]

Nah bro. That kind of thinking landed me where i am now. Always thinking this gonna be the one bet that changes my life. I was treating betting like a second job. It was foolish thinking.

 

[Walk like Denzel]

Nah bro. That kind of thinking landed me where i am now. Always thinking this gonna be the one bet that changes my life. I was treating betting like a second job. It was foolish thinking.

I feel you. The way gambling is advertised these days is wicked

 

[willypete]

Injured myself at work almost 5 months ago that’s caused me to be out of work and unable to utilize my right leg much. Been depressed as hell and just doing anything to bring some joy.

People keep saying “you have your health” and that’s great but being unable to leave your house and having to rely on people for transportation has been the worst. Probably lose my job since they’re only legally to hold my job for 12 weeks. Been unable to get anything remotely since everything is onsite. Been ready to curse out workers comp on a weekly basis for not being able to do basic things like schedule appointments or reply back to an email.

This has been the longest I’ve been out of work since I’ve started working and I really can’t find the light at the end of the tunnel and definitely feel like I’m struggling mentally.

Just needed to vent a little.

First off happy Thanksgiving everyone.

While I’m thankful for my health and my family, I’m still in the same position as I was when I made this post 5 months ago. Extremely bad sprain to my ankle, messed up my calf muscle as well as grade 2 tear of my mcl all from a “slight” twist of my foot. Reading the notes, you would think I was ballin on the court and someone broke my ankles.

The depression as barely improved and that’s only because I’m so limited in what I can do physically that any hobbies I had I can’t really do anymore. Can’t really go for a drive to clear my mind since it was my right leg that’s injured. Haven’t really been able to date either due to my situation. Can’t play the guitar and make music due to the constant pain. Lost my job since they could only “hold” my position for so long and I have been extremely unlucky with finding anything new (I believe my clearance has also gone non active due to this as well smh).

I have seen an orthopedic specialist, foot/ankle specialist and pain management specialist more times this year than I have my primary doctor in the last 4 years. I have surgery scheduled for my foot early next year which will leave me on completely off of my foot for a month and a few more months with the recovery and pt.

I try to stay as positive and optimistic as possible but it’s tough. I really don’t know where I would be or if I would still even be here if it wasn’t for my family helping as much as possible. I’ve broken down more time than I can count either from the pain or because everything has been going to ****. I’ve been needing just 1 win and I’m starting to not even know what that is anymore.

Again apologies for the long post but I needed to get this off my mind and chest. And I appreciate everyone who took the time to read all this.

 

[darthska]

First off happy Thanksgiving everyone.

While I’m thankful for my health and my family, I’m still in the same position as I was when I made this post 5 months ago. Extremely bad sprain to my ankle, messed up my calf muscle as well as grade 2 tear of my mcl all from a “slight” twist of my foot. Reading the notes, you would think I was ballin on the court and someone broke my ankles.

The depression as barely improved and that’s only because I’m so limited in what I can do physically that any hobbies I had I can’t really do anymore. Can’t really go for a drive to clear my mind since it was my right leg that’s injured. Haven’t really been able to date either due to my situation. Can’t play the guitar and make music due to the constant pain. Lost my job since they could only “hold” my position for so long and I have been extremely unlucky with finding anything new (I believe my clearance has also gone non active due to this as well smh).

I have seen an orthopedic specialist, foot/ankle specialist and pain management specialist more times this year than I have my primary doctor in the last 4 years. I have surgery scheduled for my foot early next year which will leave me on completely off of my foot for a month and a few more months with the recovery and pt.

I try to stay as positive and optimistic as possible but it’s tough. I really don’t know where I would be or if I would still even be here if it wasn’t for my family helping as much as possible. I’ve broken down more time than I can count either from the pain or because everything has been going to ****. I’ve been needing just 1 win and I’m starting to not even know what that is anymore.

Again apologies for the long post but I needed to get this off my mind and chest. And I appreciate everyone who took the time to read all this.

I'm sorry, man. :/
Why is surgery early next year and not 2 months ago?

 

[willypete]

I'm sorry, man. :/
Why is surgery early next year and not 2 months ago?

Two words, workers comp!

I’ve had 2 claim adjusters so far, the first one literally did nothing. Gave push back on me scheduling appointments and also getting treatment. I believe she was fired, let go or just left because some of the dr offices couldn’t get in contact with her anymore. I had several referrals for specialist and treatment but was told “I don’t believe this treatment is needed”

The second adjuster has a nurse worker with her as well now so there’s no delays or pushback from anyone without a medical background. The specialist that is doing the surgery is hella booked so that’s unfortunately why the surgery is so far out.

 

[andretti]

Been depressed for most if not all my adult life. Last week it got really bad but im climbing out of it. I took a break from the gym and studying to reset and i forgot i cant take a break from the gym because thats when it gets worse. Im getting back on the horse again this week. I hit the gym hours ago and i started hitting the books again. Its hard and mentally crippling but i have to keep going. Im in therapy , i took shrooms ,i moved states away , gave it time. Just tired of being miserable.

 

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

First off happy Thanksgiving everyone.

While I’m thankful for my health and my family, I’m still in the same position as I was when I made this post 5 months ago. Extremely bad sprain to my ankle, messed up my calf muscle as well as grade 2 tear of my mcl all from a “slight” twist of my foot. Reading the notes, you would think I was ballin on the court and someone broke my ankles.

The depression as barely improved and that’s only because I’m so limited in what I can do physically that any hobbies I had I can’t really do anymore. Can’t really go for a drive to clear my mind since it was my right leg that’s injured. Haven’t really been able to date either due to my situation. Can’t play the guitar and make music due to the constant pain. Lost my job since they could only “hold” my position for so long and I have been extremely unlucky with finding anything new (I believe my clearance has also gone non active due to this as well smh).

I have seen an orthopedic specialist, foot/ankle specialist and pain management specialist more times this year than I have my primary doctor in the last 4 years. I have surgery scheduled for my foot early next year which will leave me on completely off of my foot for a month and a few more months with the recovery and pt.

I try to stay as positive and optimistic as possible but it’s tough. I really don’t know where I would be or if I would still even be here if it wasn’t for my family helping as much as possible. I’ve broken down more time than I can count either from the pain or because everything has been going to ****. I’ve been needing just 1 win and I’m starting to not even know what that is anymore.

Again apologies for the long post but I needed to get this off my mind and chest. And I appreciate everyone who took the time to read all this.

damn bruh physical injuries suck alot mane
praying for ur speedy recovery

 

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

Been depressed for most if not all my adult life. Last week it got really bad but im climbing out of it. I took a break from the gym and studying to reset and i forgot i cant take a break from the gym because thats when it gets worse. Im getting back on the horse again this week. I hit the gym hours ago and i started hitting the books again. Its hard and mentally crippling but i have to keep going. Im in therapy , i took shrooms ,i moved states away , gave it time. Just tired of being miserable.

sup man
one thing i never do is stop going to the gym and praying
pray 5 times a day usually 4 if i get up late
i was thinking of skipping the gym today, had a tough monday
but went anyways and was not happy during the workout but did it anyways

perhaps u need a v8 to put a smile on ur face??? lol

 

[darthska]

Been depressed for most if not all my adult life. Last week it got really bad but im climbing out of it. I took a break from the gym and studying to reset and i forgot i cant take a break from the gym because thats when it gets worse. Im getting back on the horse again this week. I hit the gym hours ago and i started hitting the books again. Its hard and mentally crippling but i have to keep going. Im in therapy , i took shrooms ,i moved states away , gave it time. Just tired of being miserable.

Props on getting back to the gym, friend.

Do you see a counselor?
How's work?

 

[fluid hips]

I feel you. The way gambling is advertised these days is wicked

Ish is so normalized. I lost alot of respect for these celebrities who are already millionaires pushing this unto people

 

[fluid hips]

First off happy Thanksgiving everyone.

While I’m thankful for my health and my family, I’m still in the same position as I was when I made this post 5 months ago. Extremely bad sprain to my ankle, messed up my calf muscle as well as grade 2 tear of my mcl all from a “slight” twist of my foot. Reading the notes, you would think I was ballin on the court and someone broke my ankles.

The depression as barely improved and that’s only because I’m so limited in what I can do physically that any hobbies I had I can’t really do anymore. Can’t really go for a drive to clear my mind since it was my right leg that’s injured. Haven’t really been able to date either due to my situation. Can’t play the guitar and make music due to the constant pain. Lost my job since they could only “hold” my position for so long and I have been extremely unlucky with finding anything new (I believe my clearance has also gone non active due to this as well smh).

I have seen an orthopedic specialist, foot/ankle specialist and pain management specialist more times this year than I have my primary doctor in the last 4 years. I have surgery scheduled for my foot early next year which will leave me on completely off of my foot for a month and a few more months with the recovery and pt.

I try to stay as positive and optimistic as possible but it’s tough. I really don’t know where I would be or if I would still even be here if it wasn’t for my family helping as much as possible. I’ve broken down more time than I can count either from the pain or because everything has been going to ****. I’ve been needing just 1 win and I’m starting to not even know what that is anymore.

Again apologies for the long post but I needed to get this off my mind and chest. And I appreciate everyone who took the time to read all this.

Tore my MCL December 2022. I know that feeling. Simple thing that we all take for granted such as being able to walk. I was in a lot of pain. Felt useless and depressed.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. The human body can repair itself. Focus on nutrition and look up physical therapy rehab videos on YouTube. Start them and be consistent with it

 

[fluid hips]

Been depressed for most if not all my adult life. Last week it got really bad but im climbing out of it. I took a break from the gym and studying to reset and i forgot i cant take a break from the gym because thats when it gets worse. Im getting back on the horse again this week. I hit the gym hours ago and i started hitting the books again. Its hard and mentally crippling but i have to keep going. Im in therapy , i took shrooms ,i moved states away , gave it time. Just tired of being miserable.

Do you play sports? Join a rec league. That high you get from competition helps with depression

 

[theworld228]

---

Been depressed for most if not all my adult life. Last week it got really bad but im climbing out of it. I took a break from the gym and studying to reset and i forgot i cant take a break from the gym because thats when it gets worse. Im getting back on the horse again this week. I hit the gym hours ago and i started hitting the books again. Its hard and mentally crippling but i have to keep going. Im in therapy , i took shrooms ,i moved states away , gave it time. Just tired of being miserable.

Have you given a thought to traveling international if able? New scenery & experiences does the mind good.

 

[andretti]

sup man
one thing i never do is stop going to the gym and praying
pray 5 times a day usually 4 if i get up late
i was thinking of skipping the gym today, had a tough monday
but went anyways and was not happy during the workout but did it anyways

perhaps u need a v8 to put a smile on ur face??? lol

I got a v8 and i miss it i gotta go get it . I figure i do that when im ready to send it to the body shop.

Props on getting back to the gym, friend.

Do you see a counselor?
How's work?

Thank you friend. I been going to therapy since February . Work is cool i got accolades from my manager and or lead tech . Been here a year now.

Do you play sports? Join a rec league. That high you get from competition helps with depression

I signed up to a new boxing gym back in July. Im not too consistent with it because i study in the evening but im pulling up tonight for cardio night

---

Have you given a thought to traveling international if able? New scenery & experiences does the mind good.

The plan is to hit Germany the beginning of summer. I ****** up alot of pictures the last time i was there so i do want to get back over there

 

[darthska]

Thank you friend. I been going to therapy since February . Work is cool i got accolades from my manager and or lead tech . Been here a year now.

Therapy going ok? You feel like you 2 are making progress?

Do you like your job? What do you do?

What sort of things 'relax' you? Like you said you took a break from the gym to reset... but then not going to the gym makes things worse.
There's a conflict there.
What sort of things do you like doing, no conflict? No complications? You just... like it? Binging shows? Hooping? Reading? Gaming?

 

[da r entertainment]

First off happy Thanksgiving everyone.

While I’m thankful for my health and my family, I’m still in the same position as I was when I made this post 5 months ago. Extremely bad sprain to my ankle, messed up my calf muscle as well as grade 2 tear of my mcl all from a “slight” twist of my foot. Reading the notes, you would think I was ballin on the court and someone broke my ankles.

The depression as barely improved and that’s only because I’m so limited in what I can do physically that any hobbies I had I can’t really do anymore. Can’t really go for a drive to clear my mind since it was my right leg that’s injured. Haven’t really been able to date either due to my situation. Can’t play the guitar and make music due to the constant pain. Lost my job since they could only “hold” my position for so long and I have been extremely unlucky with finding anything new (I believe my clearance has also gone non active due to this as well smh).

I have seen an orthopedic specialist, foot/ankle specialist and pain management specialist more times this year than I have my primary doctor in the last 4 years. I have surgery scheduled for my foot early next year which will leave me on completely off of my foot for a month and a few more months with the recovery and pt.

I try to stay as positive and optimistic as possible but it’s tough. I really don’t know where I would be or if I would still even be here if it wasn’t for my family helping as much as possible. I’ve broken down more time than I can count either from the pain or because everything has been going to ****. I’ve been needing just 1 win and I’m starting to not even know what that is anymore.

Again apologies for the long post but I needed to get this off my mind and chest. And I appreciate everyone who took the time to read all this.

Been here before and can definitely relate. I broke my ankle in 2016 roller skating. I had 2 surgeries year in May and December. I have a plate in my ankle currently. I spent about 2/3 months stuck in the crib working from home. It gets better with time and gives you a new appreciation for your limbs and life as well. Keep pushing towards positivity.

 

[andretti]

Therapy going ok? You feel like you 2 are making progress?

Do you like your job? What do you do?

What sort of things 'relax' you? Like you said you took a break from the gym to reset... but then not going to the gym makes things worse.
There's a conflict there.
What sort of things do you like doing, no conflict? No complications? You just... like it? Binging shows? Hooping? Reading? Gaming?

Therapy is a mother, its going good. Mainly just alot of vindication from my last relationship . Im still unpackin **** from that one but the one im in now is night and day, she genuinely a good person.


I like my job , im a sub station tech, im extremely grateful for it. This vs the airforce where id sit in an office pretending to be busy , im actually working with my mind and hands on a different site everyday. I got a good team of people around me that teach me on the job and i get to travel every now n then. Im going for a cert to monitor the power grid in the meantime .



Things that relax me are taking pictures of cars, i hit the beach after work if i get off early enough and now i bike around the city if i have time