Confessions

[spizike231]

"Social events, life of the party, funniest guy in the room" all have to do with other people. I'm curious: do you ever do any projects on you own? Or any hobbies or anything solo? Biking, basketball, anything around the house?

Also, do you thrive on social interaction? Do you feel happy/good around people? Or perhaps do you feel judged in social situations?

What was the small trigger that you mentioned? You said there was something that you don't think should have spiraled into this current episode. What was it?

So there's a 'familiar comfort' in dark music, right? But then it also fuels the depressive thoughts. I get that. Whatever kind of music you listen to, are there any positive songs that you like? I think the familiarity of darker songs is helpful, (and relatable, on a personal note), but if that's the only thing you're feeding between your ears, it can be tough to shake free from these kinds of episodes, right?

How do you feel about meds? Because you don't need a diagnosis to get a prescription.

-solo hobbies include fishing (I’m about to go do that actually), and music. I mainly do music on my own. Gym is solo as well, I go by myself every time.

-I do well in social settings. “Thrive” is a strong word and idk if it’d fit for me, but I think if somehow this ever “won”, I’d be a case where most would say it was out of character for me. That I was always pretty happy and making everyone smile.

-the small trigger was a social mistake I made with an old coworker / friend. I crossed a line and I shouldn’t have. I apologized and we’ve moved on. Everything’s fine. I’d rather not get into further details but trust me when I say it shouldn’t have caused this. It’s also not even on my mind as of late so it’s not like it’s lingering.

-for the music, yeah it can be an enabler but also somehow a help. I find that dark music can stop me from getting any worse and that as long as I cope with music I’ll always make it out. Music has always been a huge part of my life. I do listen to upbeat music as well, in the gym and driving around at times. Even during my episodes. It unfortunately helps momentarily but doesn’t help keep it away.

-I’m skeptical on meds. Psychological meds are a big deal and it can take time to find the right one for you. My wife spent years finding the right meds for her her bipolar. One of which caused a deep depression for her and I almost lost her in it. I had to step in and tell her that whoever I see on those meds isn’t her. She got off of them and found the right ones and she’s great now.
With that said, I’m not against meds. I just don’t think I have the energy or immediate need to sift through however many medications for months to find the best one for me. Especially when this isn’t consistent.

 

[mplsdunk]

my wife is bi polar too and just does therapy for that reason. Shes fine without meds.

 

[darthska]

I'm not a huge fan of meds, either. I was just speaking to the notion that a diagnosis is needed.

 

[spizike231]

Without meds my wife couldn’t have a normal life. I’m thankful for them. It’s just a very tough process for some to find the right one, and that’s not even discussing the financial burden it can place on people.

 

[Frankie Blue]

I take Celexa for anxiety which is an antidepressant. Works well for over 10 years.

 

[MetalMario]

There's many different drugs out there simply because they work for some and others they don't. Once you got the right mixture you can focus on other parts of life. An unfortunate truth is some may never find their mix. Legal, illegal, high or low places. Gym, meds, the right music that gets me to the tranquility needed

 

[willypete]

Injured myself at work almost 5 months ago that’s caused me to be out of work and unable to utilize my right leg much. Been depressed as hell and just doing anything to bring some joy.

People keep saying “you have your health” and that’s great but being unable to leave your house and having to rely on people for transportation has been the worst. Probably lose my job since they’re only legally to hold my job for 12 weeks. Been unable to get anything remotely since everything is onsite. Been ready to curse out workers comp on a weekly basis for not being able to do basic things like schedule appointments or reply back to an email.

This has been the longest I’ve been out of work since I’ve started working and I really can’t find the light at the end of the tunnel and definitely feel like I’m struggling mentally.

Just needed to vent a little.

 

[dontsteponmyshoes]

Come in here and vent every day if you need too bruh. I've been out of work and dependent on others I would hold it all in and I could feel it making me crazy and killing me. That stress was taking it's toll on my mental and physical health because I had all this pent up anger sadness and frustration. Just get it out in safe ways don't go crying all the time and breaking **** just cause like I did

 

[Mark Antony]

**** is hard man, been through it. Nothing you can really do or say to make it better when you're in it, but try not to go 2 days without fighting. If you just ain't got it one day **** it, let it happen, but get back to it the next. Once the mental strain gets to multiple days, weeks, months it's hard to come back from.

 

[darthska]

try not to go 2 days without fighting. If you just ain't got it one day **** it, let it happen, but get back to it the next.

Bbbrruuuuuhhhh.
I reaaaalllllly like that.

 

[tmay407]

Come in here and vent every day if you need too bruh. I've been out of work and dependent on others I would hold it all in and I could feel it making me crazy and killing me. That stress was taking it's toll on my mental and physical health because I had all this pent up anger sadness and frustration. Just get it out in safe ways don't go crying all the time and breaking **** just cause like I did

I agree, and I’m glad I found this thread to keep an eye on. If any of you dudes are going through tough times, I heavily suggest getting a therapist to talk to. If you can’t afford one or are afraid of the perception of having one, there are several guys here that would quickly pick up the phone if you need someone to call. Just reach out and let us know you need that help.

 

[アミーゴ]

I agree, and I’m glad I found this thread to keep an eye on. If any of you dudes are going through tough times, I heavily suggest getting a therapist to talk to. If you can’t afford one or are afraid of the perception of having one, there are several guys here that would quickly pick up the phone if you need someone to call. Just reach out and let us know you need that help.

Spoke to willypete today on the phone and will see him next month in the flesh - love my NT brothers





Most of you…

 

[willypete]

Thank you everyone, def appreciate the love. Just trying to take it one day at a time.

Spoke to willypete today on the phone and will see him next month in the flesh - love my NT brothers





Most of you…

NT goat right here, always good talking with you

 

[Comparison Ford]

I’ve brought it up here a few times before, but it looks like I’m fully estranged from my parents from here on out.

My mom reached out to me yesterday to attempt a reconciliation with a partial apology to me, and when I told her what she’d have to do to for me to allow her back in my life (apologize to my fiancée and her mom for her actions) she basically told me to go **** myself and that she would rather never speak to me ever again than do that. My stepdad texted me and my fiancée a few minutes later to tell us to never contact them ever again. Fortunately I was way ahead of them on that one.

I honestly just feel a sense of relief at this point. It’s finally over and I can continue being happy without having to worry about trying to restore a relationship that was never on good terms to begin with. It also helps that I still have the love and support of the rest of my family. They seem to understand how crazy my mom is but keep her at enough of a distance to ensure she doesn’t become a problem to them.

 

[darthska]

I told her what she’d have to do to for me to allow her back in my life (apologize to my fiancée and her mom for her actions) she basically told me to go **** myself and that she would rather never speak to me ever again than do that. My stepdad texted me and my fiancée a few minutes later to tell us to never contact them ever again. Fortunately I was way ahead of them on that one.

Never an easy situation. Props for setting healthy, reasonable boundaries.
Hate that you had to.

I honestly just feel a sense of relief at this point. It’s finally over

I still have the love and support of the rest of my family.

Perfect positives to lay a foundation for your own peace moving forward.

 

[cragmatic]

Humble brag confessing here

I was in an abusive relationship for nearly 8 years, one where I was told plenty of times how big of a “loser” I was, etc.

Well this “loser,” has been with a med school student who is well on her way to her MD and is in her final year of med school, for almost a year now. She doesn’t treat me that way at all and values me for the person I am.

Feels good man.

 

[アミーゴ]

Humble brag confessing here

I was in an abusive relationship for nearly 8 years, once where I was told plenty of times how big of a “loser” I was, etc.

Well this “loser,” has been with a med school student who is well on her way to her MD and is in her final year of med school, for almost a year now. She doesn’t treat me that way at all and values me for the person I am.

Feels good man.

Brother, don’t let being with someone define you. I’m sure you are a great human and that’s what should define you/where your focus should be.

 

[cragmatic]

Brother, don’t let being with someone define you. I’m sure you are a great human and that’s what should define you/where your focus should be.

I don’t, but it definitely feels good after the years of abuse I endured.

 

[DripNick]

Humble brag confessing here

I was in an abusive relationship for nearly 8 years, once where I was told plenty of times how big of a “loser” I was, etc.

Well this “loser,” has been with a med school student who is well on her way to her MD and is in her final year of med school, for almost a year now. She doesn’t treat me that way at all and values me for the person I am.

Feels good man.

Hope the abuser stalking and is very hurt reading this post

 

[andretti]

.

 

[King of Trash Style]

Humble brag confessing here

I was in an abusive relationship for nearly 8 years, one where I was told plenty of times how big of a “loser” I was, etc.

Well this “loser,” has been with a med school student who is well on her way to her MD and is in her final year of med school, for almost a year now. She doesn’t treat me that way at all and values me for the person I am.

Feels good man.

Gotta love it. Happy days with good people mean everything bro.

 

[King of Trash Style]

Been dealing with depression all my life. Finally things are getting good once I realized i gotta live for me and not people around me.

 

[paulwest1985]

Man, in these last 2 years I've turned into a degenerate gambler. Sports betting has been my identity for the longest. And it got real bad recently (I dont even wanna say how much I've lost this year). After hitting rock bottom I finally deleted all the apps. I cant do it anymore. This s*** is slowly killing me.

 

[Walk like Denzel]

Man, in these last 2 years I've turned into a degenerate gambler. Sports betting has been my identity for the longest. And it got real bad recently (I dont even wanna say how much I've lost this year). After hitting rock bottom I finally deleted all the apps. I cant do it anymore. This s*** is slowly killing me.

 

[eracism]

Part of me wants to see Trump destroy this country. All these cabinet picks have me rubbing my hands together. He has the House, Senate, Supreme Court. Pour it on. And maybe, just maybe, we will get our **** right.