When did your girl know how much you make & amount in the bank

[antidope]

As if you're telling your spouse everything under the sun.

The term secret adds a negative connotation to the this which dont think belongs.

 

[marcielago]

For those who dont agree to disclose your financial info to your girl, what do you guys do about financial planning? Such as purchasing a home, whip, vacations, having a kid decisions?

A home we will go half and only half. If the mortgage is 1000 were each putting in five. Ideally there would be two cars and in that case she's on her own. It's her car not mine. Children everything will be split in half.

So you would really just leave your wife hanging if she wasn't able to cover her end on something? A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. You and your wife are supposed to be one and helping each other get to the next level in life. You talk about your future spouse like she's a mail order bride or something. Me and my wife have a joint account though so I don't know anything about this split the bills stuff

Been with my girl since before we had anything.

But y'all trippin for hiding your finances... For what?

If I'm gonna get serious wit a new chick, then that's gonna be one of the first things we're taking about. I'm not gonna be grinding hard and saving money while someone lazy or underachieving is spending it. You have to make sure she's on your level to begin with.

Y'all acting like once u tell a woman how much you make, you have to start giving it to her or something.

[quote name ="Antidope"]Why does she need to know? Is she going to work with me? Is she helping me do my job? Did she help lay the foundation for me to acquire said job? The answers to all these questions is no, so what makes her worthy of such information?

The same way you aren't just going to tell all your friends about your finances is the same way iIjust wouldn't tell a spouse. It's not her business.[/quote]

The fact that you're comparing your spouse to your friends says a lot though...

 

[durden7]

Im still confused by this, whats the downside of telling your wife how much you make?!

Whats the risk?

 

[isco]

Im still confused by this, whats the downside of telling your wife how much you make?!

Whats the risk?

You spend your money however u want to

 

[antidope]

NVRMND

 

[3am scholar]

Implying she can afford what you can or vis versa.

 

[King of Trash Style]

My girl don't know nothing. Only thing she need to know is 2% milk in my cinnamon toast crunch only....

 

[DCAllAfrican]

FYI, not sure if mentioned before, but #1 cause of divorce? Finances.

Right but that doesn't mean it is financial transparency or lack thereof

 

[hashus clay]

Im still confused by this, whats the downside of telling your wife how much you make?!

Whats the risk?

This. People in here actin like how much u make is supposed to be a secret, or like u have to let them spend your money once they find out.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Secrets, sounds good.

So what exactly makes something a secret as opposed to something that person doesn't need to know? Just in general when it comes to being married?

I personally think AntiDopes situation could work as long there is a system of understanding in place as well as the woman being financially independent.

I think folks are jumping on his without any proof or evidence that what he is doing won't work.

Like I told SoleByThePound, show me data of marriages failing because there didn't know each others salary. That specific data does not exist

 

[hashus clay]

@antidope, u will never have a successful relationship with this mindset.

Make her sign a prenup if u want to protect ur funds,

How could you not want to know what your spouse makes? What if it's just enough to cover bills, and she had no debt, and a good credit score? If she started struggling financially in life would it be her problem, or y'alls ?

When y'all go out to eat, do you do 2 separate transactions? Lmao

 

[antidope]

If she started struggling financially in life would it be her problem, or y'alls ?

That is 100% her problem. Her debt shouldn't become my responsibility simply because I'm married to her thats ridiculous. I did nothing to accrue that debt, why should I be on the hook for it ( I am aware that for the most part that this isnt how it works which is one of my problems with marriage in general).

Its a different story if it was something we did jointly. The same applies to me. If I had financial struggles, I wouldnt go running to my spouse for help. People just need to be fiscally responsible. I personally wouldn't get married until I have no debt and would likely not want to marry someone who has debt, both things are not fair to the other person.

 

[Betonblck]

If she started struggling financially in life would it be her problem, or y'alls ?

That is 100% her problem. Her debt shouldn't become my responsibility simply because I'm married to her thats ridiculous. I did nothing to accrue that debt, why should I be on the hook for it ( I am aware that for the most part that this isnt how it works which is one of my problems with marriage in general).

Its a different story if it was something we did jointly. The same applies to me. If I had financial struggles, I wouldnt go running to my spouse for help. People just need to be fiscally responsible. I personally wouldn't get married until I have no debt and would likely not want to marry someone who has debt, both things are not fair to the other person.

So basically, you aren't ever getting married.

 

[teamjordan79]

If she started struggling financially in life would it be her problem, or y'alls ?

That is 100% her problem. Her debt shouldn't become my responsibility simply because I'm married to her thats ridiculous.

newsflash: marriage is an economic contract

If I had financial struggles, I wouldnt go running to my spouse for help. People just need to be fiscally responsible.

'Fiscally responsible' lol did you hear that on CNN? Emergencies and unforeseen expenses are a part of life brah

 

[antidope]

If she started struggling financially in life would it be her problem, or y'alls ?

That is 100% her problem. Her debt shouldn't become my responsibility simply because I'm married to her thats ridiculous.

newsflash: marriage is an economic contract

If I had financial struggles, I wouldnt go running to my spouse for help. People just need to be fiscally responsible.

'Fiscally responsible' lol did you hear that on CNN? Emergencies and unforeseen expenses are a part of life brah

I can't have an emergency fund? Something goes wrong so it automatically becomes her problem?

If I run into an unforseen expense, I will handle it. It's my expense. I don't need my spouse to jump in, she's not obligated to.

 

[Belgium]

I grew up in a two parent household.

Odds are that she will find out but it won't be because I want her to know.

People in this thread have raised several situations where it would behoove and benefit me to disclose that information to a spouse, and I won't deny those things, but until those days come she won't know.

We aren't running around telling all our friends how much we make why can't I not tell my spouse. Again it's none of her business and its not her money.

Why is money such a touchy subject though? In a marriage you're essentially adding your wife into your family and vice versa.

Would you also not want to know how much your wife makes?

Keeping secrets and lying about a trivial thing like money isn't exactly the foundation of a successful marriage.

 

[antidope]

It's not a touchy subject, I openly discuss my finances with my parents and brother like I've stated previously.

People have all sorts of criteria for who they choose to marry: religious beliefs, ideals on children, etc etc, but me having this ideal somehow can't work at all.

 

[teamjordan79]

double

 

[36Hypno]

My girl assumes I make way less than I do. I just roll with it

 

[Belgium]

It's not a touchy subject, I openly discuss my finances with my parents and brother like I've stated previously.

People have all sorts of criteria for who they choose to marry: religious beliefs, ideals on children, etc etc, but me having this ideal somehow can't work at all.

But wouldn't you consider your wife part of your family when you get married? It just seems crazy to me to not tell your wife how much you make when you're married and intend to spend the rest of your lives together.

I just don't see that ever working. It's gonna come up at some point when discussing investments, bills, taxes, ... and the secrecy and/or lies are bound to cause an argument sooner or later.

I don't see the big deal in telling someone how much you earn.

 

[Mark Antony]

Hard for anyone to buy in when most want real trust, openness and loyalty and here you are coveting secrets. Call it what will, negative connotation or not you are keeping secrets. Good luck man, I don't see it happening. Not sure if that's the case, but your statements sound like they come from a place of lack of experience. When you truly connect with another soul, I can't see how being a hard *** with finances works out. You bring up other ideals, but that you share and come to an understanding, compromise etc. good luck finding the woman happy with being in the dark on anything for the rest of her life.

 

[drjdoc26]

antidope are you more than likely to run to your fam (mom, pops, and bro) before your wife if you run into an unforeseen financial crisis?

 

[ksteezy]

You guys have a weird concept of marriage, is no surprise so many marriages fail nowadays....I don't even understand the point of marrying someone you don't fully trust, to the point you wouldn't allow them to know how much you make or having hidden accounts, I don't see a problem to having separate accounts, but they shouldn't be kept hidden from one another...lol

 

[ksteezy]

But wouldn't you consider your wife part of your family when you get married? It just seems crazy to me to not tell your wife how much you make when you're married and intend to spend the rest of your lives together.
I just don't see that ever working. It's gonna come up at some point when discussing investments, bills, taxes, ... and the secrecy and/or lies are bound to cause an argument sooner or later.
I don't see the big deal in telling someone how much you earn.

I'm either left with 2 choices here, my mans is trollin which I don't think is something he does, or feeling extremely bad for his wife....the lack of trust doesn't just stop at the money issue and if she knows he's such an open book with his sibling and parents but not her, must make her feel like a serious outcast.

 

[nawghtyhare]

Eh me and my girl never tripped on hiding how much we make/made
While we were dating our jobs and pay rate just came through normal conversation
We moved in together and share each other's finances
We have a main account together
And also a seoerate account
Just to have our own money
But we both have access to each other's own individual account
Don't see the whole secrecy of pay and all that if ur with your WOMAN
now if ur with some random or some female u know who isn't going to lead anywhere
Then that's a different story
But I have no problem telling anyone my pay rate or whatever
I always made more than my girl up until last year
Now she makes more than me (per h/r)
My take home pay is more than hers though
Well.......some weeks it is