When did your girl know how much you make & amount in the bank

[jhowlett]

 

 
Me and the wife have a joint account so there is no hiding anything from each other. We went in with the mindset that it's a team thing that we are both going succeed. In order to make it work we can't have any secrets from each other.
 
If anybody wants to know how much I make they can just look up my unions website

Do you have your own personal account as well?

No just our joint accounts

 

[DCAllAfrican]

 
No just our joint accounts

Does she have a personal account?

And

What is your reasoning for not also having your own account?

No disrespect

 

[jhowlett]

 

 
No just our joint accounts

Does she have a personal account?

And

What is your reasoning for not also having your own account?

No disrespect

None taken. She doesn't have any either. We both grab out of our joint accounts for anything we need or want. Plus it's not like we have to ask each other before we buy anything. I feel that everything should be shared between us. We both didn't want to do separate accounts and then have to figure out how much each had to put in for bills. I feel like that is something for roommates not for someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.

 

[SoleByThePound]

None taken. She doesn't have any either. We both grab out of our joint accounts for anything we need or want. Plus it's not like we have to ask each other before we buy anything. I feel that everything should be shared between us. We both didn't want to do separate accounts and then have to figure out how much each had to put in for bills. I feel like that is something for roommates not for someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Some of you NTers need to take notes from this guy. If you look at successful and happy married couples, they approach their finances like this. Trust and communication are the most important traits married couples should have.

 

[antidope]

And one can have those things without being privy to every single asset the next person owns...

She's not obligated to know my finances simply because I am married to her

 

[dakingii]

I always found it weird that people dont like to discuss how much money they make. Never really was an issue for me.

 

[inshoekid]

None taken. She doesn't have any either. We both grab out of our joint accounts for anything we need or want. Plus it's not like we have to ask each other before we buy anything. I feel that everything should be shared between us. We both didn't want to do separate accounts and then have to figure out how much each had to put in for bills. I feel like that is something for roommates not for someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.

You got it right! We had joint accounts on everything and my wife actually told me last year she wanted me to put some money aside for things I want in a separate account. When we were solely on joint accounts I would save a ton each week and would hold off spending on myself. Wife finally said I needed to keep some money to blow on things for myself. If she or the kids ever wanted anything I would just get them whatever they wanted and hold off blowing any money on myself. My goal has always been to retire by 45, so that's my financial focus.

Now we are saving the same amount every week but she is just buying a few less things for herself each week...I have a pretty great wife who knows if she didn't tell me to spend some on myself I'd save it and try to retire at 40. Plus in my desperate account I usually set enough back for our vacations so in the end we actually come out a little further ahead.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Some of you NTers need to take notes from this guy. If you look at successful and happy married couples, they approach their finances like this. Trust and communication are the most important traits married couples should have.

Do we know how successful marriages are that don't approach it that way?

Honestly, do we even know how successful marriages are that DO approach it this way? Because we really don't know what people do behind closed doors for you you say, "If you look at successful marriages" as if that info is readily available to us

 

[tsamshox]

This is nt my dude. Dudes can't even grasp marriage,let alone openness and communication.

and cats wonder why they stay single

 

[jjs]

With the girl i am going to spend the rest of my life with, i would tell her no shame.

We would have a joint acct for common expenses but i would still keep and acct for myself that's for sure.

 

[durden7]

And one can have those things without being privy to every single asset the next person owns...

She's not obligated to know my finances simply because I am married to her

Serious question, do you plan on getting married?

 

[antidope]

And one can have those things without being privy to every single asset the next person owns...

She's not obligated to know my finances simply because I am married to her

Serious question, do you plan on getting married?

Eventually

 

[waukeganwill]

Always wondered why ppl are so secretive to what they make. Like why does that matter enough to keep it from someone?

 

[drjdoc26]

For those who dont agree to disclose your financial info to your girl, what do you guys do about financial planning? Such as purchasing a home, whip, vacations, having a kid decisions?

 

[hashus clay]

Been with my girl since before we had anything.

But y'all trippin for hiding your finances... For what?

If I'm gonna get serious wit a new chick, then that's gonna be one of the first things we're taking about. I'm not gonna be grinding hard and saving money while someone lazy or underachieving is spending it. You have to make sure she's on your level to begin with.

Y'all acting like once u tell a woman how much you make, you have to start giving it to her or something.

 

[truth-serum]

Keep my stash in an offshore account


Never let your guard down
RNS

 

[Mark Antony]

Dudes are weird man, I'm convinced they want a maid and not a wife. Whatever hurt you experienced in the past, you have to let go.

 

[antidope]

For those who dont agree to disclose your financial info to your girl, what do you guys do about financial planning? Such as purchasing a home, whip, vacations, having a kid decisions?

A home we will go half and only half. If the mortgage is 1000 were each putting in five. Ideally there would be two cars and in that case she's on her own. It's her car not mine. Children everything will be split in half.

Dudes are weird man, I'm convinced they want a maid and not a wife. Whatever hurt you experienced in the past, you have to let go.

Please don't lump me in with the NT misogynist crew. You've never seen me in any thread about relationships talking the nonsense that they talk. Finances are just a hard stop with me.

Been with my girl since before we had anything.

But y'all trippin for hiding your finances... For what?

If I'm gonna get serious wit a new chick, then that's gonna be one of the first things we're taking about. I'm not gonna be grinding hard and saving money while someone lazy or underachieving is spending it. You have to make sure she's on your level to begin with.

Y'all acting like once u tell a woman how much you make, you have to start giving it to her or something.

Why does she need to know? Is she going to work with me? Is she helping me do my job? Did she help lay the foundation for me to acquire said job? The answers to all these questions is no, so what makes her worthy of such information?

The same way you aren't just going to tell all your friends about your finances is the same way iIjust wouldn't tell a spouse. It's not her business.

 

[truth-serum]

Don't be naive. Heard and read all too often of dudes having joint accounts and them coming out on the losing end via the court system when relationships go sour

 

[Mark Antony]

As opposed to ones without it coming out on the winning end? It's lose lose for the man no matter what, every possible protection has been overturned. Your best bet is to keep it 100 with the woman you choose to spend the rest of your life with and not create unnecessary inner turmoil that weakens the relationship and even lead to the possibility of being railroaded in court.

 

[hashus clay]

A home we will go half and only half. If the mortgage is 1000 were each putting in five. Ideally there would be two cars and in that case she's on her own. It's her car not mine. Children everything will be split in half.
Please don't lump me in with the NT misogynist crew. You've never seen me in any thread about relationships talking the nonsense that they talk. Finances are just a hard stop with me.
Why does she need to know? Is she going to work with me? Is she helping me do my job? Did she help lay the foundation for me to acquire said job? The answers to all these questions is no, so what makes her worthy of such information?

The same way you aren't just going to tell all your friends about your finances is the same way iIjust wouldn't tell a spouse. It's not her business.

For the reasons just stated. Why would you get into a relationship without knowing what your woman could bring to the table... We're not talking thots, we're talking wife material. You said "spouse"

 

[SoleByThePound]

Do we know how successful marriages are that don't approach it that way?

Honestly, do we even know how successful marriages are that DO approach it this way? Because we really don't know what people do behind closed doors for you you say, "If you look at successful marriages" as if that info is readily available to us

There are extensive studies that have been done by couples therapist on this subject alone. This information is readily available to anyone with an internet connection and a real interest in the findings. I wouldn't take you for an individual who'd actually research this though because it would destroy the bubble that you live in. Your shtick on NT got old years ago. Instead of questioning NTers who aren't married with a barrage of questioning, go spend that energy in looking up the dozens of case studies that prove what I said to be accurate.

 

[Mark Antony]

FYI, not sure if mentioned before, but #1 cause of divorce? Finances.

 

[antidope]

A home we will go half and only half. If the mortgage is 1000 were each putting in five. Ideally there would be two cars and in that case she's on her own. It's her car not mine. Children everything will be split in half.
Please don't lump me in with the NT misogynist crew. You've never seen me in any thread about relationships talking the nonsense that they talk. Finances are just a hard stop with me.
Why does she need to know? Is she going to work with me? Is she helping me do my job? Did she help lay the foundation for me to acquire said job? The answers to all these questions is no, so what makes her worthy of such information?

The same way you aren't just going to tell all your friends about your finances is the same way iIjust wouldn't tell a spouse. It's not her business.

For the reasons just stated. Why would you get into a relationship without knowing what your woman could bring to the table... We're not talking thots, we're talking wife material. You said "spouse"

We can do this without her knowing everything

 

[Mark Antony]

A home we will go half and only half. If the mortgage is 1000 were each putting in five. Ideally there would be two cars and in that case she's on her own. It's her car not mine. Children everything will be split in half.
Please don't lump me in with the NT misogynist crew. You've never seen me in any thread about relationships talking the nonsense that they talk. Finances are just a hard stop with me.
Why does she need to know? Is she going to work with me? Is she helping me do my job? Did she help lay the foundation for me to acquire said job? The answers to all these questions is no, so what makes her worthy of such information?

The same way you aren't just going to tell all your friends about your finances is the same way iIjust wouldn't tell a spouse. It's not her business.

For the reasons just stated. Why would you get into a relationship without knowing what your woman could bring to the table... We're not talking thots, we're talking wife material. You said "spouse"

We can do this without her knowing everything

Secrets, sounds good.