There are NO benefits for men to get married.

[mrsouthernhospitality]

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

Originally Posted by LDJ


So I guess your saying before the indoctrine of the euro-centric version of marriage men werent men, and the family structure wasnt intact? Funny you say that because ppl had a stronger bond and life was better actually then than it is of now. Lol so life isnt worth living unless you get married have kids and get the thumbs up etc... from the govt? So by your logic all single ppl, and homosexuals should just off themselves seeing they cant/dont have the typical euro-centric version of what life is about?

Before I had kids/had a family I loved life and enjoyed life. I didnt feel less of a person then or now. I enjoyed both the wild and crazy party life, same as I love the family life. This isnt a all of nothing type of things, Why cant you love and enjoy both equally but for different reasons. And this whle age thing is irrelevant. Being 40+ doesnt make you anymore ready for a family/kids then a person thats 25. Only aspect that would matter and make a difference is again money. 

Again the only benefit of being married is from a fiscal standpoint, and a status standpoint. And if your doing ok in life then that lil money you get from the govt isnt much of nothing. And if your getting married for status or validation from the outside world then iuno what to say.
  

Really? How can you compare the two if there was no definition or term or title for marriage as we know? Its like saying men were not men back in the day when there was no term for man. $%$ kinda logic. Those individuals being together, raising a family, and having a stronger bond were basically married, but anyways, that bond is what I'm talking about. As you can see in my post I don't really talk about marriage, but the bond. I say you can't really compare the two because in our society today we do value marriage as a defined term which describes a particular type of couple. I'm not demasculinating those who are single or homosexual. WOW buddy. I consistently said I understand those of you who want to have a family and long lasting relationship with someone, but do not want to get married. All I add to that is basically a why not? Especially since there are benefits.

Things were better back in the day when there was no term for marriage as we know? I'm sorry I thought life had progressed into a much better, safer, and advanced world. Thought that equality between sexes was better then back in the day club your woman in the head if she disobeys. Guess you proved me wrong.

Basically buddy your guess was wrong, completely wrong. I am merely stating my opinion on why I value marriage as a man. Just because you are single or homosexual doesn't mean you don't want too get married or value it. So why would I assume they should off themselves? Did I not say there are plenty of other goals and aspirations in life? One doesn't need to be married to be a man in my eyes. But, one should respect the opinion of another man who does value marriage. Heck I know plenty of guys who I would call real men that are not married. The difference is they respect the value of marriage and aren't trying to bash it or bash other guys who value it. Even if marriage is just not for you and you have other goals in life I would still consider you a real man if you pursued those goals as well as just respected others including men who value marriage. These men aren't who I would consider not to be men. The guys that don't care to understand, and even spit, on the bond (not marriage) but  the bond between a couple and family are the ones who I would question about being true men, only because I personally see that bond as giving a purpose.

I do respect both which is why I was stating I understand the other side of the opinion. You assumed I didn't. Again, I was stating my opinion on what makes me feel like a true man and give my life purpose. I understand lot of men won't even get the change to marry, but again like I said that doesn't make them less of a man so long as they just respect others that do want to and can understand why they would want too. I have to disagree with you on that age thing too I am only 24 at the moment and I can easily say I am much more grown then when I was even 21. I'm not gonna say mature because I feel like I was mature back then too, but I feel much more experienced and wise now, I could only imagine myself at 40. I would def be much better preped for kids at 40 compared to now, and even now compared to 21. Even if I had millions at all ages.

As for your last statement. The money is a plus, but again imo there are many other benefits cause I value marriage, the title and its meaning, I can give a rat's butt what anyone else thinks, but I do want them to know I am married to my specific wife, not for the validation, but because I am proud of it and I want them to respect it. Marriage is between two individuals who love each other, and that holds the highest value/meaning. The outside world doesn't matter, only what the couple knows and thinks. 

I mean with marriage its such a touchy thing, cause some ppl do it for love, which is kinda funny seeing as a ceremony/paper isnt a determining factor on your feelings or bond between two ppl. Then you have ppl who marry for the materialistic/status aspect of it. Then you have ppl who marry for the whole validation reasons.

I guess why the past 15 yrs I never married my old lady is because Im not materialistic or care about my status in society, i dont seek validity from anyone esp considering ( wont get into that, whole entirely different subject) And I realize I love her and she loves me and we love our kids, and I dont see how a tuxedo, a dress, a piece of paper etc... ceremony will change this.

Again I dont knock ppl who do it but i just dont see how ok one day i sorta loved maybe cared about this person, then all of a sudden i put on this ring, sign this paper and like magic love became strong, our family is good, we are bonded for life. I just fail to see how wordly things can change the factors of something emotionally.

Whether you admit it or realize it or not you got married for one of the reasons I mentioned. I cant see how ok you felt a certain way about your sig. other, then all of this changed enhanced from the time you went from the end of the eisle to the front of the eisle. Or how sliding a ring on a finger transformed the feelings/bond you two had right before you placed the rings on.

all this

I feel the same way 

and if any due fell the same way should be able to have this conversation with your sig other

me as a man I had no problem with opening up my mouth a saying how I felt about the subject

and fortunately enough she felt the same way as me

everybody got different views on this subject man and women 

 

[diego]

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

 Things were better back in the day when there was no term for marriage as we know? I'm sorry I thought life had progressed into a much better, safer, and advanced world. Thought that equality between sexes was better then back in the day club your woman in the head if she disobeys. Guess you proved me wrong.

Im not trying to disregard the rest of your post in any way but let me get at this real quick.

You mention equality between men and women.
I cant say Ive done research in this area but Im fairly certain that there is a direct correlation between the women's equality movement and the high divorce rates we have in this country today.

Decades ago, marriages were so "succesful" not because everybody was happy but because women had no other choice than to put up with our +++%.
We are all selfish beings by nature. The whole concept of marriage is not a natural concept. In a perfect world the +++% sounds ideal but whens the last time you lived in a perfect world?

I will say this, I do see some married couples who genuinely look happy (Shout outs to Ksteezy) I honestly dont know how they do it and I have mad admiration for relationships like that. The truth is though, in these times I dont think they are the majority.

Marriage might work for some people and it might not work for others. What we CAN NOT allow ourselves to do is to think that there is a clear path that leads to a happy and mature adult life.

 

[diego]

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

 Things were better back in the day when there was no term for marriage as we know? I'm sorry I thought life had progressed into a much better, safer, and advanced world. Thought that equality between sexes was better then back in the day club your woman in the head if she disobeys. Guess you proved me wrong.

Im not trying to disregard the rest of your post in any way but let me get at this real quick.

You mention equality between men and women.
I cant say Ive done research in this area but Im fairly certain that there is a direct correlation between the women's equality movement and the high divorce rates we have in this country today.

Decades ago, marriages were so "succesful" not because everybody was happy but because women had no other choice than to put up with our +++%.
We are all selfish beings by nature. The whole concept of marriage is not a natural concept. In a perfect world the +++% sounds ideal but whens the last time you lived in a perfect world?

I will say this, I do see some married couples who genuinely look happy (Shout outs to Ksteezy) I honestly dont know how they do it and I have mad admiration for relationships like that. The truth is though, in these times I dont think they are the majority.

Marriage might work for some people and it might not work for others. What we CAN NOT allow ourselves to do is to think that there is a clear path that leads to a happy and mature adult life.

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

Not for nothing,

seeing your parents failed marriage does have an affect on you and I do understand OPs stance. Me personally, marriage is just as much a business decision as it would be an emotional one. You guys are joining assets and god forbid it goes wrong, she can be paid alimony and child support. Ya'll have seen thse high profile divorce cases. All that love goes out the window when it's time to be vindicated in courts and women more than likely have the courts on their side.

You dont need a marriage to start a family in 2K11 and like Ninjahood said, marriage is probably the most irrelevant it's been in history. At the same time, growing old with someone who is ideally your best friend isnt a bad thought to fathom.

I dont exactly know a lot of men jumping at the thought to get married though. Im at the middle of my 20s so maybe it may be that age.

Exactly not only that it is simply a status qou. There isnt a logically reason as to how a ceremony/ring/paper/indoctrie into the court system=love. Love is a emotion, Thats like saying if I never signed my kids birth certificate, I would somehow love them less, or they wouldnt be my kids. Yes on paper and to society it may appear that way, but in actuality they still would be my kids and I would still be there father regardless. And your point of growing old, My uncle/aunt have been together for about 30+ yrs not married and in there 60's. Its safe to assume that they are "growing old" together. I dont see how a piece of paper or social norm status would change this.

And that piggybacks on something pleasure said about whats wrong with society. Saying marriage titles etc status is good for society aka husband/wife etc. Actually status,titles etc lbales are a detriment to our society. Look at titles such as race,nationality. How have these titles benefit society as a whole? Look at economic labels/titles? How has this benefit society? Titles social norms labels are the main tools use to mistreat/discredit/discriminate against ppl. One of, if not the biggest issue troubling society today.

I dont like you/view you/treat you/regards you differently because insert status/label/title aka fat/gay/certain economic status/race/nationality. I know it was a slight segway on the subject but you did mention it in as for why family structure/society is such out-of-whack.

And another thing and this is just on pure speculation, and know way of me proving it. But pleasurephd. If your love family etc is so strong, im willing to bet if you told your wife, I dont want to hold the marriage title anymore, but I still want us to live together, raise kids, grow old etc... Do you think your wife would still love you? Do you think this so called love/bond you claim still hold water? Because if its not about the status/social norms/ and titles, and yall have a true love/bond then all else is irrelevant.
  

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

Not for nothing,

seeing your parents failed marriage does have an affect on you and I do understand OPs stance. Me personally, marriage is just as much a business decision as it would be an emotional one. You guys are joining assets and god forbid it goes wrong, she can be paid alimony and child support. Ya'll have seen thse high profile divorce cases. All that love goes out the window when it's time to be vindicated in courts and women more than likely have the courts on their side.

You dont need a marriage to start a family in 2K11 and like Ninjahood said, marriage is probably the most irrelevant it's been in history. At the same time, growing old with someone who is ideally your best friend isnt a bad thought to fathom.

I dont exactly know a lot of men jumping at the thought to get married though. Im at the middle of my 20s so maybe it may be that age.

Exactly not only that it is simply a status qou. There isnt a logically reason as to how a ceremony/ring/paper/indoctrie into the court system=love. Love is a emotion, Thats like saying if I never signed my kids birth certificate, I would somehow love them less, or they wouldnt be my kids. Yes on paper and to society it may appear that way, but in actuality they still would be my kids and I would still be there father regardless. And your point of growing old, My uncle/aunt have been together for about 30+ yrs not married and in there 60's. Its safe to assume that they are "growing old" together. I dont see how a piece of paper or social norm status would change this.

And that piggybacks on something pleasure said about whats wrong with society. Saying marriage titles etc status is good for society aka husband/wife etc. Actually status,titles etc lbales are a detriment to our society. Look at titles such as race,nationality. How have these titles benefit society as a whole? Look at economic labels/titles? How has this benefit society? Titles social norms labels are the main tools use to mistreat/discredit/discriminate against ppl. One of, if not the biggest issue troubling society today.

I dont like you/view you/treat you/regards you differently because insert status/label/title aka fat/gay/certain economic status/race/nationality. I know it was a slight segway on the subject but you did mention it in as for why family structure/society is such out-of-whack.

And another thing and this is just on pure speculation, and know way of me proving it. But pleasurephd. If your love family etc is so strong, im willing to bet if you told your wife, I dont want to hold the marriage title anymore, but I still want us to live together, raise kids, grow old etc... Do you think your wife would still love you? Do you think this so called love/bond you claim still hold water? Because if its not about the status/social norms/ and titles, and yall have a true love/bond then all else is irrelevant.
  

 

[carver]

Yes OP, your mother was leased.

 

[carver]

Yes OP, your mother was leased.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

If i have a girl she's gonna have her parents as an example that she shouldn't settle for some immature little boy with the fear of commitment, because he's always craving a new %%@#% and cant control his hormones.

See why is it considered a FEAR of commitment, when it isn't even a desire for many of these men? If they don't WANT to commit, why are they labeled as being SCARED of it?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

If i have a girl she's gonna have her parents as an example that she shouldn't settle for some immature little boy with the fear of commitment, because he's always craving a new %%@#% and cant control his hormones.

See why is it considered a FEAR of commitment, when it isn't even a desire for many of these men? If they don't WANT to commit, why are they labeled as being SCARED of it?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Mrsouthernhospitality

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by Mrsouthernhospitality


This
tricking aint never going out of business

it just matters how you choose to live your life

Im not thinking about marriage at all and I dont want any kids

but that doesn't mean I want to live the single life in my 40's

you can have the same type of relationship without the status of being married 

give me a good reason as to why you would chose to be with someone for the long run and never marry her?....

give me one reason why it is a must 
that marriage is nothing but a status 

I know family members that doesn't believe in marriage and hold on together better then a married couple 

If somebody choose to go that route thats fine 

marriage aint for everybody

I know a few folks thats on there second marriage and aint reach 30 years old yet so

to me that status mean nothing to me

I am more inclined to agree with you here. I mean it is just a title in my eyes to be honest. I really am not looking forward to spending any of my hard earned American $ on a meaningless (in my eyes) ceremony, but that is usually for the women since that is the stuff they dream of. I don't think it is needed. Folks have issues with and without the title. Being with someone long term without marrying them, who says that is unethical and wrong? Why is it?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by Mrsouthernhospitality

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by Mrsouthernhospitality


This
tricking aint never going out of business

it just matters how you choose to live your life

Im not thinking about marriage at all and I dont want any kids

but that doesn't mean I want to live the single life in my 40's

you can have the same type of relationship without the status of being married 

give me a good reason as to why you would chose to be with someone for the long run and never marry her?....

give me one reason why it is a must 
that marriage is nothing but a status 

I know family members that doesn't believe in marriage and hold on together better then a married couple 

If somebody choose to go that route thats fine 

marriage aint for everybody

I know a few folks thats on there second marriage and aint reach 30 years old yet so

to me that status mean nothing to me

I am more inclined to agree with you here. I mean it is just a title in my eyes to be honest. I really am not looking forward to spending any of my hard earned American $ on a meaningless (in my eyes) ceremony, but that is usually for the women since that is the stuff they dream of. I don't think it is needed. Folks have issues with and without the title. Being with someone long term without marrying them, who says that is unethical and wrong? Why is it?

 

[da r entertainment]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

perhaps the ideal of building a family with a strong foundation and setting an example for your future kids....

90% of dudes are blinded by the sexual/physical end of it all to be able to see what lies beneath....you wont stay young and fly forever kiddos...eventually you'll want a companion to grow old with.

 

[da r entertainment]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

perhaps the ideal of building a family with a strong foundation and setting an example for your future kids....

90% of dudes are blinded by the sexual/physical end of it all to be able to see what lies beneath....you wont stay young and fly forever kiddos...eventually you'll want a companion to grow old with.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by LDJ

Always can count on you LDJ to speak the truth.

I mean with marriage its such a touchy thing, cause some ppl do it for love, which is kinda funny seeing as a ceremony/paper isnt a determining factor on your feelings or bond between two ppl. Then you have ppl who marry for the materialistic/status aspect of it. Then you have ppl who marry for the whole validation reasons.

I guess why the past 15 yrs I never married my old lady is because Im not materialistic or care about my status in society, i dont seek validity from anyone esp considering ( wont get into that, whole entirely different subject) And I realize I love her and she loves me and we love our kids, and I dont see how a tuxedo, a dress, a piece of paper etc... ceremony will change this.

Let me guess, her family and friends keep asking her, "Why that man ain't marry you yet."

But yea man, I agree with all of your reasons why folks get married and I agree with the idea of a ceremony not being a reflection on the love present in the home.

1. How often do you get bothered about not marrying her?
2. When did she buy into your whole idea of it shouldn't matter as long as you have what you have?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by LDJ

Always can count on you LDJ to speak the truth.

I mean with marriage its such a touchy thing, cause some ppl do it for love, which is kinda funny seeing as a ceremony/paper isnt a determining factor on your feelings or bond between two ppl. Then you have ppl who marry for the materialistic/status aspect of it. Then you have ppl who marry for the whole validation reasons.

I guess why the past 15 yrs I never married my old lady is because Im not materialistic or care about my status in society, i dont seek validity from anyone esp considering ( wont get into that, whole entirely different subject) And I realize I love her and she loves me and we love our kids, and I dont see how a tuxedo, a dress, a piece of paper etc... ceremony will change this.

Let me guess, her family and friends keep asking her, "Why that man ain't marry you yet."

But yea man, I agree with all of your reasons why folks get married and I agree with the idea of a ceremony not being a reflection on the love present in the home.

1. How often do you get bothered about not marrying her?
2. When did she buy into your whole idea of it shouldn't matter as long as you have what you have?

 

[oh you mad]

Originally Posted by MartianRefugee

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

Originally Posted by mondaynightraw

So your mother was leased?

She probably wasn't even that.  Ol' rental Enterprise joint. 
  

Boom goes the dynamite.

 

[oh you mad]

Originally Posted by MartianRefugee

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

Originally Posted by mondaynightraw

So your mother was leased?

She probably wasn't even that.  Ol' rental Enterprise joint. 
  

Boom goes the dynamite.

 

[ldj]

DCAllAmerican wrote:

---

ksteezy wrote:

---

If i have a girl she's gonna have her parents as an example that she shouldn't settle for some immature little boy with the fear of commitment, because he's always craving a new %%@#% and cant control his hormones.
See why is it considered a FEAR of commitment, when it isn't even a desire for many of these men? If they don't WANT to commit, why are they labeled as being SCARED of it?



If anything ksteezy that shows a lack of commitment and more of a obligation, a forced action. Key example your kids. There isnt a pact/ceremony/contract in regards to loving caring commitment to your kids. So are you saying every parent who has walked the face of the earth is immature in regards to there commitment to being there for there kids? Commitment is an action, and a inatimate object such as a ring,ceremony,etc.. dont determine an action.

Like i said i have no signed pact/treaty etc in regards to my kids and my commitment to be there father, no one does. So does that make all parents uncommitted to raising/loving there kids? You clearly said that without a title signed pact/contract means lack of maturity/uncommitment. So why is this just held in regards to just marriage and not all aspects of life? So are you saying all we need is actions and our word as a sign of commitment in every fascade/aspect of life with the one exception in a mate. How does that even make sense?

I committed my myself to going to college getting a degree. I didnt sign a pact/dress up/have a ring to do this. Was my commitment not real? Is my b.a. a fraud because i didnt sign a pact? Are you saying I dont love my kids because i didnt sign a pact and a contract obligating me to do so?

Like i said commitment isnt based on a pact/contract/ it is an action that can only be proving by actually following out on said act. All the paper does really is just validates, and acknowledges it to others. But if it is truly a bond between just two, why does the acknowledgement/validity of others matter?

 

[ldj]

DCAllAmerican wrote:

---

ksteezy wrote:

---

If i have a girl she's gonna have her parents as an example that she shouldn't settle for some immature little boy with the fear of commitment, because he's always craving a new %%@#% and cant control his hormones.
See why is it considered a FEAR of commitment, when it isn't even a desire for many of these men? If they don't WANT to commit, why are they labeled as being SCARED of it?



If anything ksteezy that shows a lack of commitment and more of a obligation, a forced action. Key example your kids. There isnt a pact/ceremony/contract in regards to loving caring commitment to your kids. So are you saying every parent who has walked the face of the earth is immature in regards to there commitment to being there for there kids? Commitment is an action, and a inatimate object such as a ring,ceremony,etc.. dont determine an action.

Like i said i have no signed pact/treaty etc in regards to my kids and my commitment to be there father, no one does. So does that make all parents uncommitted to raising/loving there kids? You clearly said that without a title signed pact/contract means lack of maturity/uncommitment. So why is this just held in regards to just marriage and not all aspects of life? So are you saying all we need is actions and our word as a sign of commitment in every fascade/aspect of life with the one exception in a mate. How does that even make sense?

I committed my myself to going to college getting a degree. I didnt sign a pact/dress up/have a ring to do this. Was my commitment not real? Is my b.a. a fraud because i didnt sign a pact? Are you saying I dont love my kids because i didnt sign a pact and a contract obligating me to do so?

Like i said commitment isnt based on a pact/contract/ it is an action that can only be proving by actually following out on said act. All the paper does really is just validates, and acknowledges it to others. But if it is truly a bond between just two, why does the acknowledgement/validity of others matter?

 

[i just got lucky]

Originally Posted by Oh YoU MaD

Originally Posted by MartianRefugee

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy


She probably wasn't even that.  Ol' rental Enterprise joint. 
  

Boom goes the dynamite.

OP's on that CL erotic classified steeze.

 

[i just got lucky]

Originally Posted by Oh YoU MaD

Originally Posted by MartianRefugee

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy


She probably wasn't even that.  Ol' rental Enterprise joint. 
  

Boom goes the dynamite.

OP's on that CL erotic classified steeze.

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by LDJ

Always can count on you LDJ to speak the truth.

I mean with marriage its such a touchy thing, cause some ppl do it for love, which is kinda funny seeing as a ceremony/paper isnt a determining factor on your feelings or bond between two ppl. Then you have ppl who marry for the materialistic/status aspect of it. Then you have ppl who marry for the whole validation reasons.

I guess why the past 15 yrs I never married my old lady is because Im not materialistic or care about my status in society, i dont seek validity from anyone esp considering ( wont get into that, whole entirely different subject) And I realize I love her and she loves me and we love our kids, and I dont see how a tuxedo, a dress, a piece of paper etc... ceremony will change this.

Let me guess, her family and friends keep asking her, "Why that man ain't marry you yet."

But yea man, I agree with all of your reasons why folks get married and I agree with the idea of a ceremony not being a reflection on the love present in the home.

1. How often do you get bothered about not marrying her?
2. When did she buy into your whole idea of it shouldn't matter as long as you have what you have?



She felt the same way as I did from day one. Ppl just see/view us just the same as they do there married friends. And in all honesty in the beginning, women would say/ask it. But there reason all lead to materialistic, worldy, social norms. Like dont you want to wear a beautiful gown/dress (again what does this have to do with love) or dont you want yall kids to have there father in there life (1 we live in the same home, and two how does my love for my kids correlate with marriage?) Or arent you worried he will cheat/lie etc... (again i dont see how a ring/etc stops that from happening) Or the dont you want your family/friends to see that yall love and care for each other (again if they know us they see that anyways, and two like i said i gives a f about what ppl see me percieve as anyways)

Like i said before i believe most of these ppl saying they in love married etc.. are just fakes/fascades living a image. i bet 99% of them if they said/told there sig other that i dont want to hold the title of marriage or care about the social status, views in society, but i want to be with you i love you and the kids always and forever, they wife/husband would leave they areses and grow to dislike them and dont love them anymore. Yet they claim they have a bond a love. Btw love means unconditional, which by definition means under no circumstances. So I guess if one party lies/cheats etc they still will be there and have that commitment... lol yea right i dont think so.

Like I said before ppl love commit to the idealogy, the social status, of marriage and not the person. Ppl love there kids. See regardless of what your kids do lie/cheat etc you still commit yourself as there parent and love them and will never leave there side. Can you so called married/bonded ppl say the same thing about your sig other..... I dont think so.

See thats what me and my old lady have. She can and has lied etc so have i, and i still care love her regardless, no matter what she does. Will i agree/like everything she does...no. Same goes for my daughters, but i wouldnt stop loving them/care for them any less or end my commitment with her or my kids unlike you married ppl aka get a seperation/divorce.

Can you you married ppl honestly say that no matter what you or your sig other does/acts/says you will love them, be there for them be committed to them regardless? I highly doubt it.
  

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by LDJ

Always can count on you LDJ to speak the truth.

I mean with marriage its such a touchy thing, cause some ppl do it for love, which is kinda funny seeing as a ceremony/paper isnt a determining factor on your feelings or bond between two ppl. Then you have ppl who marry for the materialistic/status aspect of it. Then you have ppl who marry for the whole validation reasons.

I guess why the past 15 yrs I never married my old lady is because Im not materialistic or care about my status in society, i dont seek validity from anyone esp considering ( wont get into that, whole entirely different subject) And I realize I love her and she loves me and we love our kids, and I dont see how a tuxedo, a dress, a piece of paper etc... ceremony will change this.

Let me guess, her family and friends keep asking her, "Why that man ain't marry you yet."

But yea man, I agree with all of your reasons why folks get married and I agree with the idea of a ceremony not being a reflection on the love present in the home.

1. How often do you get bothered about not marrying her?
2. When did she buy into your whole idea of it shouldn't matter as long as you have what you have?



She felt the same way as I did from day one. Ppl just see/view us just the same as they do there married friends. And in all honesty in the beginning, women would say/ask it. But there reason all lead to materialistic, worldy, social norms. Like dont you want to wear a beautiful gown/dress (again what does this have to do with love) or dont you want yall kids to have there father in there life (1 we live in the same home, and two how does my love for my kids correlate with marriage?) Or arent you worried he will cheat/lie etc... (again i dont see how a ring/etc stops that from happening) Or the dont you want your family/friends to see that yall love and care for each other (again if they know us they see that anyways, and two like i said i gives a f about what ppl see me percieve as anyways)

Like i said before i believe most of these ppl saying they in love married etc.. are just fakes/fascades living a image. i bet 99% of them if they said/told there sig other that i dont want to hold the title of marriage or care about the social status, views in society, but i want to be with you i love you and the kids always and forever, they wife/husband would leave they areses and grow to dislike them and dont love them anymore. Yet they claim they have a bond a love. Btw love means unconditional, which by definition means under no circumstances. So I guess if one party lies/cheats etc they still will be there and have that commitment... lol yea right i dont think so.

Like I said before ppl love commit to the idealogy, the social status, of marriage and not the person. Ppl love there kids. See regardless of what your kids do lie/cheat etc you still commit yourself as there parent and love them and will never leave there side. Can you so called married/bonded ppl say the same thing about your sig other..... I dont think so.

See thats what me and my old lady have. She can and has lied etc so have i, and i still care love her regardless, no matter what she does. Will i agree/like everything she does...no. Same goes for my daughters, but i wouldnt stop loving them/care for them any less or end my commitment with her or my kids unlike you married ppl aka get a seperation/divorce.

Can you you married ppl honestly say that no matter what you or your sig other does/acts/says you will love them, be there for them be committed to them regardless? I highly doubt it.
  

 

[patrick bateman]

Originally Posted by Da R Entertainment

Originally Posted by ksteezy

perhaps the ideal of building a family with a strong foundation and setting an example for your future kids....

90% of dudes are blinded by the sexual/physical end of it all to be able to see what lies beneath....you wont stay young and fly forever kiddos...eventually you'll want a companion to grow old with.

 

[patrick bateman]

Originally Posted by Da R Entertainment

Originally Posted by ksteezy

perhaps the ideal of building a family with a strong foundation and setting an example for your future kids....

90% of dudes are blinded by the sexual/physical end of it all to be able to see what lies beneath....you wont stay young and fly forever kiddos...eventually you'll want a companion to grow old with.