This is totally hypothetical, but let’s just say that KRS-One has gone completely bat**** crazy. He is obsessed with creating a new nation deemed the “Temple Of Hip-Hop” and plans on succeeding from the US. He has built an army of S1Ws and will use them to destroy anything that stands in his way. He begins to target rap artists everywhere that do not fit into his vision of the future. He has killed Missy Elliot in a fat-suit sumo wrestling match, sent air-to-ground missiles into one of Russell Simmons’ beach houses, and forced Cam’ron to dye his entire body pink. Now he is coming for you. He has kidnapped everyone close to you as ransom, and promises that bad things will happen if you do not complete a series of tests to prove your allegiance to Hip-Hop. You cannot explain your actions, and must hope to stay alive through each test.
1.) Ice Cube is throwing a back yard pool party. You must enter the party uninvited and take a dump in either the pool, the grill, or on top of a keg of beer. Which one do you choose? How do you escape?
2.) You must survive 4 rounds of boxing with Freddie Foxxx, Willie D, or Melle Mel. You get a weapon handicap, either a single nunchuck, 20 throwing stars, or a pugil stick (one of those American Gladiator q-tip looking things). Who do you fight, and which weapon do you choose?
3.) Stars have aligned and the Wu-Tang miraculously play a concert with all living members present. Before the concert has ended, you must steal at least one of their shoes right off their foot. It can be a Timberland boot, Wallaby or whatever whatever. Who’s shoe do you steal, and how do you escape?