TAY: IT'S A MAN THING GINA

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Question, doesn't matter who chimes in. Are you a fool for chasing that "in love" high, that chemistry vs staying with a good girl you love, but not an intense love? is it selfish?

Think it all matters in the context. How long u been with ole girl, how long u met "in love" girl etc...
 
Tough question.. i would say it isnt selfish. Do what you feel is right. Thats all that matters.

Plus youre old enough to where why stay in something that doesnt excite you or satisfy you
 
One of my cousins is good friends with my EX, i havnt talked to my ex in a long time other then the other day when she messaged me. My cousin knows her and i dont get along and well, hate eachother. She keeps sending me snaps of her, i deleted my cousin off of it and told her to stop. Was i wrong? one of my friends says i shouldn't have said anything, but the thought of even looking at her makes me so angry now. 
 
One of my cousins is good friends with my EX, i havnt talked to my ex in a long time other then the other day when she messaged me. My cousin knows her and i dont get along and well, hate eachother. She keeps sending me snaps of her, i deleted my cousin off of it and told her to stop. Was i wrong? one of my friends says i shouldn't have said anything, but the thought of even looking at her makes me so angry now. 

Ur cousin is wrong for that. Not cool.

On the flip, need to let it go. Makes it seem like ur not over her. I'd tell her once, in a serious tone and then not acknowledge it again.
 
Starting to build up a little roster the past few weeks while I slowly get familiar with this thick joint at my job. She works in a different department and I only see her about twice a day but I'm making progress [emoji]128514[/emoji]

Patience
 
last thing I'm saying on the topic.... 

***** says I'm being negative, after a comment I make about him telling this man his girl is or was basically cheating on him... that makes no sense

everyone in the thread ***** with ECook and even he took it the way I took 

Mugen obviously doesnt like me for whatever reason so anything I say he's going to have a bias opinion about ....he took offense like kicked his dog in the face and went off 

nothing I said was negative.... simply said i disagreed with one thing in particular and stated why ...even showed love in my very next post

didn't disrespect him, didn't come at him sideways, nothing...... yet he felt the need to do so

that's some lame *** immature ****.... but eh.... it is what it is 
 
Question, doesn't matter who chimes in. Are you a fool for chasing that "in love" high, that chemistry vs staying with a good girl you love, but not an intense love? is it selfish?
No. To me it's the opposite.  

It wouldn't be fair to the girl you're with if you questioned whether or not thats what you wanted. 

I've always felt you have to be all in or not in at all.. 

one foot in, one foot out ain't nothing but trouble 

Only thing that sucks is when it takes too long to find what you're looking for and then you're like "damn...should I have stayed put" 
 
Bring ur girl to this free concert in DTLA Friday.
Please share details... 
nerd.gif


Is it part of the BET awards coming up?
 
Question, doesn't matter who chimes in. Are you a fool for chasing that "in love" high, that chemistry vs staying with a good girl you love, but not an intense love? is it selfish?

No. To me it's the opposite.  

It wouldn't be fair to the girl you're with if you questioned whether or not thats what you wanted. 

I've always felt you have to be all in or not in at all.. 

one foot in, one foot out ain't nothing but trouble 

Only thing that sucks is when it takes too long to find what you're looking for and then you're like "damn...should I have stayed put" 

This is what i'm leaning towards. She professed her love yesterday and I wasn't elated to hear it, more like cool. Sex all the time, cooks, cleans, 6 figure career, takes care of me, makes me laugh, big ol lightskin *******, I should be in love. I'll ride it out through July, it feels stupid that i'm not all the way appreciative of what fell into my lap, like some female logic ****.
 
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This is what i'm leaning towards. She professed her love yesterday and I wasn't elated to hear it, more like cool. Sex all the time, cooks, cleans, 6 figure career, takes care of me, makes me laugh, big ol lightskin *******, I should be in love. I'll ride it out through July, it feels stupid that i'm not all the way appreciative of what fell into my lap, like some female logic ****.
had a few winners like that, cz yours definitely sounds like the real MVP .... but like you, just didn't feel like I could ride that life out day after day regardless of all the "perks" 

made tough decisions to end it and often times had those "what if....." moments 

i ask myself these simple questions now ..... "am i excited at thought of going home to her everyday...." ... and.... "when i see her, do i smile like a little *** kid" ... if the answers aren't yes to both, she ain't the one 
 
This is what i'm leaning towards. She professed her love yesterday and I wasn't elated to hear it, more like cool. Sex all the time, cooks, cleans, 6 figure career, takes care of me, makes me laugh, big ol lightskin *******, I should be in love. I'll ride it out through July, it feels stupid that i'm not all the way appreciative of what fell into my lap, like some female logic ****.

had a few winners like that, cz yours definitely sounds like the real MVP .... but like you, just didn't feel like I could ride that life out day after day regardless of all the "perks" 

made tough decisions to end it and often times had those "what if....." moments 

i ask myself these simple questions now ..... "am i excited at thought of going home to her everyday...." ... and.... "when i see her, do i smile like a little *** kid" ... if the answers aren't yes to both, she ain't the one 

How long till you found that one that made you feel giddy again? that made you miss her after 30 mins apart? I've matured since I last felt that and i'm not even sure I'm ever supposed to feel that again. Maybe this is mature love and i'm holding on to a childish feeling.
 
^How long has it been like this for you man? The way you talk I feel like you are still holding onto something that is gone.

I'm with the belief that love doesn't usually strike like a lightning bolt or "love at first sight". It has happened to me once but in my last two relationships the girl was more into me at first and I didn't feel like I loved them for a while. One of the reasons being because I was getting over that intense "love at first sight" relationship I'd gotten out of. But when I was finally over that I can definitely say I fell in love with the new girls. I think I mentioned this before and you acknowledged it but you can't be looking for the same thing you had with your ex because you're never gonna get it again.

Sounds like you have a good girl. Stop comparing her to what you had and give yourself another chance to feel something real. It might be new, different, but you might end up enjoying it even more.
 
How long till you found that one that made you feel giddy again? that made you miss her after 30 mins apart? I've matured since I last felt that and i'm not even sure I'm ever supposed to feel that again. Maybe this is mature love and i'm holding on to a childish feeling.
took years....

and the person I felt and still feel that way about is actually my best friend

she's perfection...... but.......... unfortunately........ she only dates women lol 

i tell her i love her all the time.... she knows exactly how i feel and our friendship has never got weird... we're together all the time, talk pretty much all day every day.... we were even going to get a place together .... she hasn't ruled out ever dating a dude, but i'm not holding my breath .... only positive to her being gay is that other girls doesn't make me jealous.... if she were to start dating a dude that wasn't me, i'd probably lose my ****....cant even lie... **** sucks because i know if she did ever date a dude, having to tell me would be so hard on her.... and i don't want her to go through that cz im being selfish

she gets me all up in my feels.... we're as close as close can get without being sexual....i tell her i wanna marry her everyday 

but about a month ago I had a gf that made me answer yes to the questions .... the distance was an issue tho so we had to break it off  
 
Feels like i'm over it, but maybe you're right, deep down i'm not. I wasn't even looking to replicate my ex, more like separate myself from anything related to her. Let me chill. One area i'm most def inexperienced is adult relationships, I checked out of anything serious like that in my early 20s and just recently started getting back into it.
 
How long till you found that one that made you feel giddy again? that made you miss her after 30 mins apart? I've matured since I last felt that and i'm not even sure I'm ever supposed to feel that again. Maybe this is mature love and i'm holding on to a childish feeling.

took years....

and the person I felt and still feel that way about is actually my best friend

she's perfection...... but.......... unfortunately........ she only dates women lol 

i tell her i love her all the time.... she knows exactly how i feel and our friendship has never got weird... we're together all the time, talk pretty much all day every day.... we were even going to get a place together .... she hasn't ruled out ever dating a dude, but i'm not holding my breath .... only positive to her being gay is that other girls doesn't make me jealous.... if she were to start dating a dude that wasn't me, i'd probably lose my ****....cant even lie... **** sucks because i know if she did ever date a dude, having to tell me would be so hard on her.... and i don't want her to go through that cz im being selfish

she gets me all up in my feels.... we're as close as close can get without being sexual....i tell her i wanna marry her everyday 

but about a month ago I had a gf that made me answer yes to the questions .... the distance was an issue tho so we had to break it off  

Sounds like torture my G.
 
How long till you found that one that made you feel giddy again? that made you miss her after 30 mins apart? I've matured since I last felt that and i'm not even sure I'm ever supposed to feel that again. Maybe this is mature love and i'm holding on to a childish feeling.
Here's my two cents, coming from a guy in the longest relationship of his life (a year and 8 months).

I don't get that "new love lust" feel anymore. That's been LONG gone. Once you become comfortable around someone, and you obviously know what that is, you don't get that anymore. It's not new anymore. It's not "exciting" in the way a first date or first sexual experience with that person is. I don't necessarily ache for her 30 minutes after she's gone. I won't ALWAYS drop everything I'm doing no matter what I'm doing when she texts (calls are different).

Rather, it takes probably a day or two for me to really start to miss her. I might not always text back instantly, but I will ALWAYS text her back as soon as I can. When I see her, my mood swings up not with heart pounding giddiness, but with comfort and happiness to have my best friend back around. I still find occasional odd noises she makes when she's talking or we're messing around cute. I still find the random body expressions she makes entertaining. The small nuances about her when she doesn't even know I'm looking to be so endearing. Finding solace when I look down and she's sleeping with her head on my chest. We still have fun in different ways. Having done so much already it can be challenging to find something new that excites us but once you put some effort in, there's always something. No she's not always "on 10" but I always find her to be beautiful. She's so supportive and loving of me, there's no doubt that she loves me in every sense of the word. A true ride or die.

But sometimes, as a 21 year old guy, I wonder what if. What else and who else I could be doing. All the women I'm never going to have a chance at if she's THE one. The sacrifices I make in terms of all the extra money I could have or time or freedom I could have if I was single. My relationships prior to this were MAX of 2 months so it was always a giddy high with them. This is all new to me so the questions are natural. But at the end of the day, there's sacrifices in everything. You can't have it both ways and I've decided the benefits of being with her FAR outweigh the downsides like never having the thrill of the chase again.

If you can't see yourself making those sacrifices, you should probably move on. There's a difference between lust and love. Lust fades, love stays lit. Just figure out which one you'd rather have.
 
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Sounds like torture my G.
it's the weirdest feeling man..... 

if she were dating dudes, **** would suck 

but being that its girls she's messing with, there's no jealousy.... just a feeling of something being just out of reach ... and hope 

our bond is pleasurable tho..... she's my other half minus the sex

so, for the time being, and possibly forever, i'll have to just get that from other people lol 
 
How long till you found that one that made you feel giddy again? that made you miss her after 30 mins apart? I've matured since I last felt that and i'm not even sure I'm ever supposed to feel that again. Maybe this is mature love and i'm holding on to a childish feeling.
Here's my two cents, coming from a guy in the longest relationship of his life (a year and 8 months).

I don't get that "new love lust" feel anymore. That's been LONG gone. Once you become comfortable around someone, and you obviously know what that is, you don't get that anymore. It's not new anymore. It's not "exciting" in the way a first date or first sexual experience with that person is. I don't necessarily ache for her 30 minutes after she's gone. I won't ALWAYS drop everything I'm doing no matter what I'm doing when she texts (calls are different).

Rather, it takes probably a day or two for me to really start to miss her. I might not always text back instantly, but I will ALWAYS text her back as soon as I can. When I see her, my mood swings up not with heart pounding giddiness, but with comfort and happiness to have my best friend back around. I still find occasional odd noises she makes when she's talking or we're messing around cute. I still find the random body expressions she makes entertaining. The small nuances about her when she doesn't even know I'm looking to be so endearing. Finding solace when I look down and she's sleeping with her head on my chest. We still have fun in different ways. Having done so much already it can be challenging to find something new that excites us but once you put some effort in, there's always something. No she's not always "on 10" but I always find her to be beautiful. She's so supportive and loving of me, there's no doubt that she loves me in every sense of the word. A true ride or die.

But sometimes, as a 21 year old guy, I wonder what if. What else and who else I could be doing. All the women I'm never going to have a chance at if she's THE one. The sacrifices I make in terms of all the extra money I could have or time or freedom I could have if I was single. My relationships prior to this were MAX of 2 months so it was always a giddy high with them. This is all new to me so the questions are natural. But at the end of the day, there's sacrifices in everything. You can't have it both ways and I've decided the benefits of being with her FAR outweigh the downsides like never having the thrill of the chase again. You're still very you g man, it's understandable if you think hypothetically.

If you can't see yourself making those sacrifices, you should probably move on. There's a difference between lust and love. Lust fades, love stays lit. Just figure out which one you'd rather have.

I wholly understand this post. As someone who just got out of a five year relationship, I'm still trying ti figure out whether I actually loved this girl, or was I just comfortable. I kind of feel like I dodged a bullet though; that relationship was all I knew and it was scary because I just turned 23. I wondered sometimes what could have been while I was in the relationship. But now from the outside looking in, I'm trying to discern whether it was love or just comfort.
 
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011781 011781 that is so disrespectful to your girl :lol:. I laugh but it's really not funny :\. You need to let her go so she can find someone who gives a damn about her
 
I wholly understand this post. As someone who just got out of a five year relationship, I'm still trying ti figure out whether I actually loved this girl, or was I just comfortable. I kind of feel like I dodged a bullet though; that relationship was all I knew and it was scary because I just turned 23. I wondered sometimes what could have been while I was in the relationship. But now from the outside looking in, I'm trying to discern whether it was love or just comfort.
It's one of life's greatest contradictions.

How can I love someone with all my being and still, physically, be attracted to other women BUT if she ever cheated or we broke up and she found someone else, be so devastated and hurt.

The human brain doesn't make sense.
 
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wait... huh? 

Nevermind bro....I got you and Mark Antony mixed up :lol:. Please disregard my previous submission

It's one of life's greatest contradictions.

How can I love someone with all my being and still, physically, be attracted to other women BUT if she ever cheated or we broke up and she found someone else, be so devastated and hurt.

The human brain doesn't make sense.

This is the essence of long term relationships. You have to deny your natural instincts and keep your promise and hope the other person is committed enough to do the same. Really as much of a lifestyle change as joining a cult or switching genders, it's really an extreme difference from being single and I think that's why most relationships fail
 
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