TAY '16: The Saga Continues

[cucumbercool]

Chick I stopped hitting up finally hit me back up. Kind of lead to us labeling our "relationship." (Not friends but not together, whatever that means) I guess more or so friends with benefits. Just told her what I want. She in return told me what she wanted. Basically back to square one lol. Even telling her that all I want is ***** and to chill every so often she's still sticking around. Still don't like this back and forth texting but I do dig talking to her. Damn shame we are both not ready for a relationship. I know if we were wed work and she agrees.

thinking if you both stick it out two possible outcomes.
1. you stop thr shenanigans and realize the games you're playing is just a pre cursor to you both realizing you're really a relationship waiting to happen
2. one messes w someone outside your arrangement , the other becomes jealous and get hurts just to realize you want a relationship .

I think me and my girl about to move in together..... Anything I should be weary of?

-That you will both find each other's cute quirks damn annoying eventually.
-be sure you're both responsible. nothing worse than worrying about coming up short on a bill.
- maybe set up boundaries? depending how long you been w her you may not be comfortable doing certain things around her.

 

[willypete]

You guys ever live/travel together for more than 2 weeks at a time? Like really living together and being together constantly. Not just coming over after school/work and sleeping over. How'd it go?

-Personal space/time is key. One of my exes lived with me for a month in my old home. She needed a place to stay while she found her own spot. There was my room, a family room, kitchen, backyard. We gave eachother space when we needed it and could just go to separate rooms.
Fast forward a year later, my room was in the basement of the home I was living in. It flooded. Had to go live with her for a month in her STUDIO apartment. We couldn't escape eachother. Got really irritated with eachother and this is when our relationship started declining IMO. Things just weren't the same after that time I had to live with her while my basement got fixed.

-Sit down and decided together how you will do chores around the house. You take some things she takes others. Alternate them. However you want to do it just make sure you both know how it works.

Two most important things IMO. If you've done 2+ weeks together before that will be a good indicator of how things will go. If you had any issues then, address them now before you move in together.

Thanks for the input. Repped

The main thing like you said is that we'll get tired of each other since it'd be a studio apartment and everybody needs their space. We may wait it out since we haven't spent anymore than 5 days together. I'll see how we deal after this week trip I got planned for us this year.

I guess whenever we do live together will be the real test of our relationship.

 

[hennessy]

I would HIGHLY reccomend ditching the studio apartment and finding something with a bedroom separate from the living room. Y'all don't need to be in the same room all the time. You can't, actually. Those apartments are meant for one person. Would you rather save money or your relationship...think about that.

 

[willypete]

-That you will both find each other's cute quirks damn annoying eventually.
-be sure you're both responsible. nothing worse than worrying about coming up short on a bill.
- maybe set up boundaries? depending how long you been w her you may not be comfortable doing certain things around her.

-I can deal with her quirks, her dealing with mine I'm not sure about.
-Bills won't be an issue especially when she gets her new job.
-That would be the only thing. I'm comfortable with doing most things around her but I'm not sure about her.

Good points tho

 

[willypete]

I would HIGHLY reccomend ditching the studio apartment and finding something with a bedroom separate from the living room. Y'all don't need to be in the same room all the time. You can't, actually. Those apartments are meant for one person. Would you rather save money or your relationship...think about that.

Relationship definitely. It was in the works but we'll hold back until her financial situation is straight and find a nice two bedroom apartment (use the extra room for storage most likely). Things are straight with us right now and I wouldn't to jeopardize our relationship because we chose to move in together too fast.

 

[tdogg2k]

Studio is for that single life. Lived with my ex in a studio for 2 months. I wanted to rang her neck....her old place was typically clean. My place was ALWAYs clean. When we live together she didnt do jack.

I also sleep fairly early to get up and grind. She was a night owl. Did not work out

 

[iamdef]

I need advice.
Story short
25 now married when I was 21
Building my career wife currently not as ambitious as I think she should.
My mentally is let's take over the world hers is you take over the world and I'll support you.
Haven't cheated don't intend to physically. ( I would emotionally ).

Def have a conversation with her and when she wants to walk away because you puttin' the heat on her try to calmly explain to her how important this is to you. That should help her understand that this isn't just some conversation but THE most important conversation of y'all relationship. Talk about her dreams and ambitions, tell her you feel that she can do more than support you. She may just not have that same confidence in herself as you do.

I'm sure that once you can show her that her hobbies could be makin' her some money she'll find some kind of desire

I think me and my girl about to move in together..... Anything I should be weary of?

Everything Henn said is spot on. I think when me and my ex moved in together that was our ultimate downfall. We didn't really get a good chance to date or hang out cause while in college I wasn't feelin' her and we start talking after we both left and we grew close through web chatting and phone calls and we went from new couple to roommates within the first 3 months of our relationship which imploded after 4 months.

The main thing I would say is make sure y'all have an open dialog regarding problems and issues that y'all have with each other. Communication is key in everything, especially in relationships. Y'all have to be willing to sit down and hear the other say, "You need to stop doing this and do this instead" or "I don't like when you do this" and both be willing to acknowledge that it's an issue and make changes

 

[ROYGBiV]

thinking if you both stick it out two possible outcomes.
1. you stop thr shenanigans and realize the games you're playing is just a pre cursor to you both realizing you're really a relationship waiting to happen
2. one messes w someone outside your arrangement , the other becomes jealous and get hurts just to realize you want a relationship .

Yeah I can see us eventually getting there. Most of my friends are telling me the same.

But her not putting out is really turning me the **** on. But I'd be lying if I said that the P is the only reason I'm sticking around. I really do think we'd be good as a couple.

Idk guess I'll just ride it out and see what happens. Shes giving out that good girl vibe. But we all know ain't no good girls outchea [emoji]128514[/emoji]

 

[cucumbercool]

Yeah I can see us eventually getting there. Most of my friends are telling me the same.

But her not putting out is really turning me the **** on. But I'd be lying if I said that the P is the only reason I'm sticking around. I really do think we'd be good as a couple.

Idk guess I'll just ride it out and see what happens. Shes giving out that good girl vibe. But we all know ain't no good girls outchea [emoji]128514[/emoji]

there are. we just usually keep them as a second option until its too late. youre fortunate finding someone w the amount of wishy washy ladies out there

 

[ROYGBiV]

there are. we just usually keep them as a second option until its too late. youre fortunate finding someone w the amount of wishy washy ladies out there

Lol this applies to the females too, idk why we also go for the people who aren't the best for us? Yea I'm hoping I don't regret the time I'm putting into her. Last thing I want to do is waste more of my time on someone not worth it. So far she's worth it. Guard still up tho.

 

[hennessy]

there are. we just usually keep them as a second option until its too late. youre fortunate finding someone w the amount of wishy washy ladies out there

Lol this applies to the females too, idk why we also go for the people who aren't the best for us? Yea I'm hoping I don't regret the time I'm putting into her. Last thing I want to do is waste more of my time on someone not worth it. So far she's worth it. Guard still up tho.

You're young man. If you're having fun it's not a waste of time. No need to think about anything serious until you feel serious. And that should be at least 6 months out and at that point if the chick has stuck around and been loyal then you know maybe she is deserving of you.

When I had a long convo on the phone with my ex the other week I told her about my relationship she said it sounded like I just wanted someone to keep me company and I wasn't that into the girl. She was right. But I do like the girls company so it's whatever. Just enjoying myself.

 

[ROYGBiV]

A-1 advice Henn.

Guess you're right. Not wasting my time if she's making me happy for the most part.

 

[monstar]

YYvvn

 

[sole blessed]

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nah fam cancel that order meth lurking in here big time now waiting for anything wrong

 

[CrownRoyalDaddy]

Im a little scared moving in with my girl later this year if everyhing goes as planned. Im anal about everything and her room right now is a wreck. Gonna be a real test but when it happens we will just have to have a conversation about expectations. Communication is key

 

[sole blessed]

Just looking for company not a relationship

 

[Mark Antony]

My only fear there is moving in with the wrong one. Like my homies sis is a serial relationshipper/bird, the worst combo. Her current dude moved in a few months ago and he's already been kicked out twice over petty ****. In the meantime she either hangs out with dudes she used to mess with, or see which sucker she can find on pof to take her to somewhere expensive. It's a cycle, she constantly takes relationships from 0-100 in a few days, then date around over the most petty ****. So there's this trail of dudes still trying to marry her that she has no more romantic interest in, but uses. 2 kids, mid 30s btw, I was so disgusted hearing this. Gotta watch these online chicks.

 

[Bruce Banner]

Lol man she just flip the script on these dudes that's all

 

[Mark Antony]

I feel like she got hurt really bad in the past and took on that mentality most dudes do. I don't feel bad for the sucker paying out, but for the one living with her, the ones with a kid with her who really thought they had a future. Now you a grown *** man living with your parents because you placed all your bets on it.

 

[sole blessed]

When chicks want to sign out the dating game early early in life and want to be clingy to someone

 

[doxen5703]

This girl told me if I wanted to see her, I need to start calling her on the phone. She's nothing but a friend/smash to me. I started as soon as she said that dumb ****. I'm not gonna be on the phone having pointless conversations to see you. Not that serious.

 

[sole blessed]

This girl told me if I wanted to see her, I need to start calling her on the phone. She's nothing but a friend/smash to me. I started as soon as she said that dumb ****. I'm not gonna be on the phone having pointless conversations to see you. Not that serious.

Same situation except the girl has a BF and ***** kept calling me for meaningless conversation like TF I'm a savage stop while your ahead or else

 

[ROYGBiV]

Same situation except the girl has a BF and ***** kept calling me for meaningless conversation like TF I'm a savage stop while your ahead or else

At least she told you she has a BF. Lot of chicks who deny having one. Like girl **** the **** down. Wish I was a douche sometimes and not care if a girl is wifed up. But I can't do it[emoji]128529[/emoji]

 

[sole blessed]

At least she told you she has a BF. Lot of chicks who deny having one. Like girl **** the **** down. Wish I was a douche sometimes and not care if a girl is wifed up. But I can't do it[emoji]128529[/emoji]

She finally took taking a hint and just text me now and then. Her Bf a loser wanna be thug and she claiming he can beat my *** bruh I saw him for the first time dead *** laughed for 10 minutes. BF like 5'2" about 130 and I'm 5"11" 170 I'll mollywop his *** quick

 

[adobecs4]

5'11, 170? I'll sit on both of you.