Been married for a minute. During my single days made mental notes of what qualities and traits i could live with and ones that were a dealbreaker. Being in a big city can accelerate this due to volume of “subjects”
.
I’ve never subscribed to the “one” thinking. Successful relationships are a combination of many factors including attraction, two-way communication, compromises, and many others. You can achieve this with any number of women IMO. It comes down to making your choice.
In my case I got to a point where I knew what was attractive to me physically and what qualities worked and didn’t work for me. And as important or moreso I had matured to the point that committing to someone for life wasn’t intimidating. Not fair to waste a girl’s time if you can’t be serious. Learned this by dating an amazing woman that we connected intellectually. She could finish my sentences. That is not an easy feat. My mind is always going 100mph and I’m on the next three conversations ahead of where we are now. We were serious and it got to a point that I realized I wasn’t ready like she was ready. Broke it off and she was hurt. Didn’t deserve that. Decided then I wouldn’t go there again unless I was ready.
Saw my wife at a spot in Miami one night. Didn’t get a chance to meet her. Tracked her down through some friends. Called her and we clicked on so many levels. She blew me off because she had a boyfriend. Pursued her for 6 months. She came to my city to visit her sister. By then two of her sisters had looked me up to see who this dude that wouldn’t stop was. They loved me and hated the boyfriend. Took her out first night she was in the city and been inseparable since. Of course much more happened during all of that, but this is already long winded. Can fill in things if anyone is interested.