NT My life has finally hit rock bottom Vol. Assed Out

[iamlegend2345]

 To start my story off, Im 22 y/o I have a full-time job (decent but could be much better), a almost 3y/o son, Im living with my family (Who fights everyday and struggles). Im in about $3000 in debt. I was arrested about a month ago for a crime I DID NOT commit (My first time EVER in any trouble)  I now have to pay a lawyer $5000 and my bondsman another $1000 I know I will be found innocent, its just the burden of having to pay $800 a month on top of my existing bills i've been struggling to pay . My car payment is behind 1 month but their ok with me catching back up in due time. I really don't know how I can get my life back, I'm flat broke I have $2 to my name. Gotta find a way to get to work until Friday (Payday) smh. It's like my life just crashed and burned in the last 2 years. I don't blame anyone but myself (not including the person who sent me to jail) I let so much time go by without me establishing a stable foundation, Im a smart guy, I don't smoke, drink nor do drugs, I just wasn't raised conventionally to where I was brought up to be Independent, I always had my parents to fall back on and I guess that made me take certain things for granted when I should of been setting goals and meeting standards. Instead I was buying, sneakers, clothes, gold, cars and motor bikes, and anything else that tickled my fancy (I've had 5 cars, 1 motorcycle and a ATV since I was 18 smh). It's kinda like I was ready to become a man but I was living like manhood was just going to be handed to me. Now I'm sitting here today I fear that it's too late, like I've buried myself soo deep that there's no way to pull myself out. I feel so depressed because my sons mom is supporting him almost 100% in the last 2 months, She's a great woman, but I hate that she has all the weight on her shoulders, she understands my struggle and supports me (mentally) even though we aren't together. Im a great thinker and i've thought of every legal option to pull myself together and beat these troubled times, but unfortunately I can't come up with a solution.

NT I really need some advice, also has anyone ever been in a situation similar to mine and pulled through?

I might not get much replies or anyone who cares, which is fine, I just wanted to tell someone my struggles anonymously. Hopefully I can find some light on my situation, but in reality I know there's not much I can do.

And I apologize for the sob story. Not trying to get sympathy or anything.

 

[xsourdieselx]

stay humble and focused and things will work out
just keep in mind things could always be worse

 

[joepac12]

The way I see it you have a lot to be grateful for....you do have a job in a time when many people do not. You also have your own transportation when again a lot of ppl don't. I been broke before and had more money then I knew what to spend it on at certain times...keep ya head up.....

I would suggest that you check your local Craigslist for a temp position . I have worked them before and gettin paid every week helps . Because u have another job they may let you work on your off days .

 

[rusty shackelford]

Slang
srs

 

[futuremd]

Sell all that frivolous **** and look into getting a promotion or getting a better job. Seeking more education (if need be) wouldn't hurt either. 

Restructure your debt and stop hanging around that crowd that isn't about anything ...you weren't arrested for no reason. You might be innocent, but you were at the wrong place at the right time. You know exactly what I mean. 

Don't be afraid to cut people off.

Right now while you typed that you could have been on the phone with banks and other people you have loans with.

Don't be ashamed to seek government assistance either. Its there if you need it. 

AT LEAST you're employed. Thats the main take away. Don't lose that job. 

 

[knowledgebones72]

You just reached the point in your life where you realized the things you need to do to truly become a man. Good job.

Every strong man hits a point like this, and you just have to work on navigating through it one day at a time without being stuck in the day-to-day cycle of barely making it. Set up how long it will take for you to get out of this situation, and work out a day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month routine that will get you there. You might need to go into overgrind and spend a good couple months barely sleeping 2 hours a night. You might need to do some out-of-the-box stuff and work multiple jobs and side hustles, and you're definitely going to start redefining how and who with you live and associate. You're going to have to sell all the cool stuff you own, and by that I mean EVERYTHING worth something. You've got to start over, brah brah. You're barely going to eat, and you're barely going to sleep, and you're barely going to enjoy the few moments you have to yourself, but 10 years from now you're going to look back at this as a defining moment in your life, hopefully for the better.

 

[jookz]

you talk about spending a lot on useless things since you were 18. get rid of what you still have and don't need. you do sound like you're getting your priorities together, though. start clean, and stay positive. things could be worse

 

[D StaXX]

Hold your head man. Everyone's fighting a battle, including myself.
We all get knocked. We just have to take the punches and move forward.

 

[jordanscrub]

Things will work out, this isn't rock bottom. The majority of your problem seems to be about money. Be patient and everything will be okay.

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

You can PM if you want.

I'll keep it short on here....

2 years ago life was great and in the matter of a couple weeks is went up in flames....I too was jailed for a crime I didn't committ, facing 30 yrs+ in prison, had to pay $10k plus for a lawyer who did me know favors, left my Govt job, blew through all my funds defending myself....got hit with multiple lawsuits and had to climb out of people trying to sue me. Canceled all credit cards and closed bank accounts. Had a lot of shoes/posessions stolen by people and police during a raid of my place.


Fast forward to now....more money stacked than ever before in life. Can buy all things back that were taken/lost but choose not too. Have a job in the same field making way more loot...expunged my entire record (with a few exceptions) all by myself to save $$$. No more court dates or pending cases over thy head and off probation as of last week.

It was a long journey....but you can persevere, just don't give up.

 

[handullz]

at rock bottom...

famb.. you have a pot to piss in... that's better than many folks.

also, you know where your money is going, and its justifiable. some folks have drug problems to where they see where their money goes, and cant do anything about it b/c the addiction takes them over.

you havent even had to sleep in your car... you good bro...

take your mind off of your worries... do some daily running, hit the gym, go get some yambs... but keep your financial situation in order until you dig yourself out of the hole.

also, find some side hustles to generate extra income. you have a car... that's the biggest obstacle for many folks.

 

[handullz]

You can PM if you want.
I'll keep it short on here....
2 years ago life was great and in the matter of a couple weeks is went up in flames....I too was jailed for a crime I didn't committ, facing 30 yrs+ in prison, had to pay $10k plus for a lawyer who did me know favors, left my Govt job, blew through all my funds defending myself....got hit with multiple lawsuits and had to climb out of people trying to sue me. Canceled all credit cards and closed bank accounts. Had a lot of shoes/posessions stolen by people and police during a raid of my place.
Fast forward to now....more money stacked than ever before in life. Can buy all things back that were taken/lost but choose not too. Have a job in the same field making way more loot...expunged my entire record (with a few exceptions) all by myself to save $$$. No more court dates or pending cases over thy head and off probation as of last week.
It was a long journey....but you can persevere, just don't give up.

this man sounds like he has it togetther.... i'll take one of them PMs too, kimosabi.

 

[waitwut]

sell a few cars you only need 1-2

 

[ksteezy]

Inb4 that one NTer comes in here and paypals you 3k fr your debt...just be patient OP

All I can say is, you still very young...if you are still at home, I don't understand what type of bills you speak off, if your car is weighing you down, let it get re-po... @ 22 you still got time to salvage your credit...sell all te crap you got that you don't need...it's not the end, just a rough beginning

 

[servechilled81]

everyone goes through these lows g

honestly, it doesn't sound THAT bad...

you're still very young, you'll pull through this.

 

[futuremd]

Inb4 that one NTer comes in here and paypals you 3k fr your debt...just be patient OP

All I can say is, you still very young...if you are still at home, I don't understand what type of bills you speak off, if your car is weighing you down, let it get re-po... @ 22 you still got time to salvage your credit...sell all te crap you got that you don't need...it's not the end, just a rough beginning

 

Because selling it is just TOO much of a hassle, huh? 

 

[airthompson]

Very tough spot no doubt but just keep pushing. Do what you must. Look at the bright side at least your sure you'll get off free, because you could've been in jail as you speak. Being in debt isn't the end of the road. Once you get off maybe get another job or hustle to erase your debt. I wish you the bestfor you. Stand tall set a good example for your son.

 

[firmeporvida]

at rock bottom...

famb.. you have a pot to piss in... that's better than many folks.

also, you know where your money is going, and its justifiable. some folks have drug problems to where they see where their money goes, and cant do anything about it b/c the addiction takes them over.

you havent even had to sleep in your car... you good bro...

take your mind off of your worries... do some daily running, hit the gym, go get some yambs... but keep your financial situation in order until you dig yourself out of the hole.

also, find some side hustles to generate extra income. you have a car... that's the biggest obstacle for many folks.

Is there ever a post by you without "get some yambs"?

 

[ksteezy]

:x  





Because selling it is just TOO much of a hassle, huh? 

I assume he owes more than what his car is worth, in which case he will still have to cough up the difference which he obviously doesn't have....if that's the case then wouldn't it be much better to get the car re-po'ed?...if the car is worth more than what is owed then by all means try to sell it.

 

[iamlegend2345]

I appreciate all the support fellaz, I greatly do. Great advice from you guys.

I don't currently own anything of value, I sold almost everything in the past 2 years. 

To add a little more insight. On how my problem started

Basically it started with personal loans, I got in debt with them and was paying them off, then boom I totaled my car (not my fault). So I didn't have the money to purchase a decent cash car so I had to drop $2k on a down payment, more so I let my mom persuade me to finance a car KNOWING that I shouldn't, and should of bought a cheap cash car, I did it anyway thinking I would be able to pay it off once I got a accident settlement, so along with a new/used car came a $240 a month insurance payment. So as time went buy my lawyer bs'd me and I only got $10,000 for a settlement even though I was injured and all which left me with $1800 after paying all the fee's and medical bills. Fast forward a few months I get hit with my first charge. Now living in debt and owing alot of folks I sit here trying to make my next move.

I don't associate with bad people, truly I don't have any associates other than guys I play basketball with, just a few close friends who are out of state military heads that I only see from time to time. Like I said my family raised me to spend money and didn't teach me the value of a dollar and what it means to save and the importance of it, not to save just to make a big purchase. It's a lesson I've been slowly learning the past 2 years/ while unwillingly digging myself into a deep hole. I let so much oppurtunity for me to better myself slip by in the past it sickens me to think about it, I know I can't live in regret but only use it as knowledge to make better decisions in the future.

I have a GF, but she's not a reason for my problems.

I try to stay humble

I'm just going to take in the advice given by you guys and see what my best route will be.

 

[gridebounca11]

props on spilling your e-feelings..sometimes all a N wants to do is vent. let us be your shrink fam.

ill write some more stuff later but you got to discover the silver lining.

I guess you can say I'm in a similar situation. I feel choked liked hell cause I don't have any income. It's hard looking for even a part time gig. but I know Ive got it so good, im so blessed to have a family that supports me. Till then, I have to dedicate myself to reaching this goal.

brb

 

[iamlegend2345]

I assume he owes more than what his car is worth, in which case he will still have to cough up the difference which he obviously doesn't have....if that's the case then wouldn't it be much better to get the car re-po'ed?...if the car is worth more than what is owed then by all means try to sell it.

Yes I owe alot more than its worth, I have a 2003 Mustang Cobra Terminator, which I owe a good chunk of change on. I've been seriously debating on letting it go and I fear soon I will have to. It's my only vehicle and I don't even have any money to buy a cheap beater to drive, which I have no problem driving as long as it gets me where I need to be.

 

[handullz]

Is there ever a post by you without "get some yambs"?

 

[truthgetsbusy]

You havent seen rock bottom. Keep your head up.

 

[firmeporvida]

Is there ever a post by you without "get some yambs"?

^^^ Not sure what you're trying to say there, but I dig it.