- Jul 25, 2012
- 14,636
- 17,044
She don’t love you mayne..
- Oct 8, 2002
- 42,511
- 44,496
I have been holding on to my past and letting it control way too much of my current life and it’s been keeping me out of relationships. I got bullied a lot in school, I was called fat, goofy, ugly and poor. I was a military brat, so this went on state to state, school to school. Probably, around the 9th grade, with that happening everywhere I went, I bought in and truly believed I was ugly and no woman was ever going to be interested. I don't think really realized how far away I am from that kid, until recently. If I was to tell people close to me now, they wouldn't even believe it. ****, my mom didn't while it was happening. I know now, but that kid still pops up when I meet a woman I'm REALLY into. I'll go in so cool and confident, then realize that this could be something major and they just start pushing away. After that my confidence will be shook. Deep down, I don't ever think I'm good enough. I did it recently, I really really wanted this one. She would give me chances but I would always **** it up thinking I already ****** it up.
My parents had me when they were young. So it was a lot of thing they didn't understand. Especially my pops. He didn't understand that being there physically didn't mean anything if you don't know WHY your supposed to be there. I don't think as a man or a father, he understood all he had to do was instill confidence in me and everything was going to fall into place. He would always put me down and tell me I wasn't good enough. I mean, he was trying to motivate me, but when you're getting negativity from both sides, it doesn't work. Theres wayyy more issues with him, but I don't have the time. I really don't want to be like him. I guess what I'm going through is necessary. I hope getting this off my chest helps make things better.
My parents had me when they were young. So it was a lot of thing they didn't understand. Especially my pops. He didn't understand that being there physically didn't mean anything if you don't know WHY your supposed to be there. I don't think as a man or a father, he understood all he had to do was instill confidence in me and everything was going to fall into place. He would always put me down and tell me I wasn't good enough. I mean, he was trying to motivate me, but when you're getting negativity from both sides, it doesn't work. Theres wayyy more issues with him, but I don't have the time. I really don't want to be like him. I guess what I'm going through is necessary. I hope getting this off my chest helps make things better.
- Jul 18, 2012
- 8,564
- 8,451
Confidence, as it pertains to relationships with women, is overrated. Some women don't mind a guy who is flawed, a guy they can nurture. And some like a guy with the gusto to take control. Obviously you need to start loving yourself more, but don't think you're gonna blow it with a woman just because you have some deeply rooted insecurity. Be open about how you feel
and if the woman is right for you she will respect where you're coming from. We're all a work in progress after all.
I think you're awesome for posting that.
- Jul 9, 2016
- 4,810
- 3,549
Today marks 8 months no porn.. never thought id make it this far and do it without any form of temptation in between. Improved on myself a lot this year as in being 21 not 2018. Lost weight, Improved on my wardrobe and got more in tune with fashion, Finally got my license, Finally stopped putting stock into females and everything that comes with them, Got more in tune with myself as a man, Stopped caring about the outside world and only focused on myself, And finally.. Genuinely.. Found self love. The only 6 encounters that i had with females this whole year went.
1. Too old for my liking
2. Too young for my liking
3. Couldve executed better
4. Was probably married
5. Too young for my liking
6. Has a boyfriend
And i could genuinely care less.
1. Too old for my liking
2. Too young for my liking
3. Couldve executed better
4. Was probably married
5. Too young for my liking
6. Has a boyfriend
And i could genuinely care less.
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- Jan 16, 2013
- 868
- 461
real ****. shes using old buddy like a hooker then going back to her man. having her cake and eating it too. my bro was in a situation like this for a couple years and i was steady telling him not to let shorty use him like that or at least get something more than sex out of it. and he actually wanted to be a in relationship with this chick at one point
but i know for most dudes, and def my bro at the time, it can be an ego thing. it makes you feel desirable. but those chicks are so grimey man. dude said since 2010 like yo that's almost a solid decade of lies, deceit, smiling in her mans face like it's all good.. makes me sick to my stomach tbh.
- Nov 17, 2013
- 16,543
- 7,757
Update
Dad is improving daily, a small pacemaker is basically keeping him alive
Mom has lost a lot of weight, stressing over this + taking care of him 24/7
I look back at 2018 and split myself in two: the person I was before my dad's stroke + the person I am now
I've jumped deeper into my volunteering work
Mentoring HS kids + creating art with kids with autism/disabilities + teaching 8-year-olds at church + tutoring 5th graders at a Harlem school
And I enjoy the experiences; the kids have really changed my life
But I've essentially cut out dating
Dad always told me that I should be careful messing with the wrong, low quality females
I feel like I've set higher expectations for myself in all areas now and won't accept anything less
And I'm 27, getting pressured fam to get married, but your boy doesn't wanna just settle
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- Oct 7, 2007
- 7,589
- 7,468
All the best man, happy to hear your dad's getting better.
- Jun 1, 2013
- 8,715
- 5,390
Mans just want a wife and a few pickney. Had nothing to do all day so I ended up sitting and reflecting. Y'all ever bust a nut and just look at her and think....I don't like you like that. Been feeling like that for a minute. The most recent girl I'm talking to is nice. Perfectly nice. But she's just not it. And obviously smashing my ex same time not helpful either though I'm stopping that. Just want to find a satisfying relationship.
iDon’tRead
formerly winter91
- Sep 27, 2014
- 4,438
- 1,906
What
- Sep 23, 2012
- 32,830
- 24,897
Just invest in yourself bro. I find that the best things come when you least expect it. As far as women go if nothing else take the time to not necessarily find wifey, but to find qualities you like and qualities you don’t like in women as well as with yourself when handling women. When you least expect it, wifey will enter
- Jun 1, 2013
- 8,715
- 5,390
Of course. I'm my main focus for right now. I've pretty much figured out what I do and don't like in women. I just always thought I'd be a dad by now. Like, many of my cousins right now have kids and not on some knocked up a rando either. Like they found their person, happily married, and have 2 and three kids by now. At one point I thought I was gonna be the first one out the group. And yea, I know you cant compare your race with everyone else but damn...just feeling like I havent been making good choices in terms of my dating life recently
MetalMario
formerly m4riol
- Sep 24, 2008
- 15,682
- 14,871
That was that post nut clarity coming in from Pluto
T Lo Sweater
formerly troyd
- Dec 14, 2011
- 8,325
- 4,429
Girl I’m serious with (not together officially) kinda annoys me at times. She travels for work as she’s an actress
Sometimes I just wanna cool out at the house and watch tv or something and she will FaceTime me. When I just want some alone time. **** annoys me
Sometimes I just wanna cool out at the house and watch tv or something and she will FaceTime me. When I just want some alone time. **** annoys me
- Jul 20, 2007
- 7,005
- 417
This thread used to be easy to read but its some anxiety triggering confessions in here.
- Jul 9, 2016
- 4,810
- 3,549
Next month the 12th Makes full year no pron. Slipped up a few times off the reddit subs but it was more so nudes and solo vids/gifs.. stabilized myself away from that though. Havent found myself on a site or have a mass urge for it for a year which is cool.. Thought i could never accomplish it years prior.
With females. Been trying to get at one from the beginning of the year til now. But i think im just gonna stay away from her. She dont reciprocate the same energy. And when they do that now i just keep going my way.. Cuz alot them out of my league.
Spotted one that works at the mall. We'll see what i could do with that.
With females. Been trying to get at one from the beginning of the year til now. But i think im just gonna stay away from her. She dont reciprocate the same energy. And when they do that now i just keep going my way.. Cuz alot them out of my league.
Spotted one that works at the mall. We'll see what i could do with that.
- Nov 11, 2007
- 10,465
- 1,756
I'm starting to accept but hate the fact that it's likely I'll be a step dad. actually don't mind it either though, i like the idea of being a dad
- Jan 3, 2011
- 4,405
- 2,978
I don't get angry I'm constantly angry. I try to smile and joke around but I feel like the scowl on my face betrays me and it kinda makes people weary of me.
Feels like I'm a cat trying to impersonate a dog.
Feels like I'm a cat trying to impersonate a dog.
- May 20, 2013
- 2,895
- 1,981
Got an important week ahead of me and was hoping to capitalize on this weekend and carry that momentum into it. I have a final round job interview mid-week for a position that'd be a huge advancement for me. It's an even bigger deal because I'm growing more frustrated and bored with my current job.
Friday got news that my grandpa has cancer and while it is treatable chemo is going to brutal on him due to his age and overall poor health. I had already planned on going down there with my family, got plane tickets and everything, to see him and a lot of my mom's family late next month, but it's not a sure thing he'll still be around then.
Later that night got a text from a girl I've been talking to and could see myself dating about how she can't do a relationship right now. It was out of the blue considering we had a great time when I saw her earlier in the week and last week her friends were telling me about how much she likes me and how I need to take care of her/look out for her since she's a great girl. It's not that I was pushing her for a relationship or anything either, I guess she just sensed that we had some real potential and wasn't ready for it for whatever reason. Said it had nothing to do with me and that she really does like me and enjoy spending time together, but I don't know what to believe. It's getting old meeting a new girl, getting closer over a month or two, and having things fall apart suddenly. I'm losing track of how often this happens and still don't know if it's a "me" thing or if I've just been unlucky in meeting so many indecisive girls.
Was counting on Saturday being a better day and it was beautiful out so I hit the park with a friend to shoot some hoops. Ended up playing in a pickup game because some guys there needed one more and pinched/strained something in my back in the process. It's feeling a little better now, but yesterday it hurt to breathe and I couldn't sleep on my back last night. Hope it's nothing serious. To top it all off, re-aggravated a hand injury I got from basketball over a month ago and I'm thinking I should probably see a doctor.
Thankfully today was better, but definitely not starting the week off on the right foot. Everything seems so uncertain and I have so many questions that I don't think I'll get the answers to. Getting more nervous about the job interview each day.
Friday got news that my grandpa has cancer and while it is treatable chemo is going to brutal on him due to his age and overall poor health. I had already planned on going down there with my family, got plane tickets and everything, to see him and a lot of my mom's family late next month, but it's not a sure thing he'll still be around then.
Later that night got a text from a girl I've been talking to and could see myself dating about how she can't do a relationship right now. It was out of the blue considering we had a great time when I saw her earlier in the week and last week her friends were telling me about how much she likes me and how I need to take care of her/look out for her since she's a great girl. It's not that I was pushing her for a relationship or anything either, I guess she just sensed that we had some real potential and wasn't ready for it for whatever reason. Said it had nothing to do with me and that she really does like me and enjoy spending time together, but I don't know what to believe. It's getting old meeting a new girl, getting closer over a month or two, and having things fall apart suddenly. I'm losing track of how often this happens and still don't know if it's a "me" thing or if I've just been unlucky in meeting so many indecisive girls.
Was counting on Saturday being a better day and it was beautiful out so I hit the park with a friend to shoot some hoops. Ended up playing in a pickup game because some guys there needed one more and pinched/strained something in my back in the process. It's feeling a little better now, but yesterday it hurt to breathe and I couldn't sleep on my back last night. Hope it's nothing serious. To top it all off, re-aggravated a hand injury I got from basketball over a month ago and I'm thinking I should probably see a doctor.
Thankfully today was better, but definitely not starting the week off on the right foot. Everything seems so uncertain and I have so many questions that I don't think I'll get the answers to. Getting more nervous about the job interview each day.
- Dec 9, 2002
- 34,665
- 28,027
Don't ever think i could ever forgive my parents. Me and mom have an ok relationship and i don't want to get into our history. But my dad is pretty much cancelled from my life. He has issues and no one can build a relationship with him. He's so arrogant. He never met his father so it's like he feels that i should be grateful that i have him and i should be running behind him. They divorced when i was a toddler and he came around on birthdays but that wasn't enough. I try to be the bigger person and call and talk but he's so difficult and it feels so forced. He hasn't called me the last few birthdays. Never really calls at all. His b day is on the 17th and i might put something in the mail but I'm tired if faking it with him.
Top Boy
formerly jay patt
- Feb 5, 2013
- 8,405
- 5,623
I don't remember if this was the original thread, but I was talking about not seeking out therapy because I figured it'd just be too expensive...
Well, it's part of my insurance plan. Found an office im comfortable with and going to start this Thursday.
Looking forward to it.
Well, it's part of my insurance plan. Found an office im comfortable with and going to start this Thursday.
Looking forward to it.
- Apr 16, 2006
- 2,309
- 2,058
Mental health is too overlooked, thankfully it is coming to the public light more. Good luck with your therapy sessions.
- Nov 16, 2016
- 364
- 1,039
She has the best sex I've ever had. I have to leave her alone though. She's married man. She was texting me telling me how much she loves me and wants/needs me while she was on her anniversary vacation last month. She always does this, but on your anniversary trip? Poor dude has no clue. Went on her FB page and saw he was tagging her and writing statuses calling her his queen and how much he loves her, etc. She sent nudes to me that same night while on her trip.
How are you supposed to trust women knowing they're capable of stuff like that?
How are you supposed to trust women knowing they're capable of stuff like that?
- Dec 27, 2014
- 35,538
- 78,133
Congrats on making the leap. It's not an easy thing to do as a male in America with all the stigma. Hope it benefits you
- Jul 20, 2013
- 8,074
- 9,243
Definitely.
I remember I went to see a therapist as a kid (not sure why?) and in retrospect, I wish I had done so in my teenage years. It would have benefited me a ton but unfortunately that antiquated ideology of machismo wouldn’t let me do it. I thought I knew better and could do everything on my own. The folly of man.
I remember I went to see a therapist as a kid (not sure why?) and in retrospect, I wish I had done so in my teenage years. It would have benefited me a ton but unfortunately that antiquated ideology of machismo wouldn’t let me do it. I thought I knew better and could do everything on my own. The folly of man.
