You're not a "drinker" until you've...

pee'd the bed with your (then) gf still in it
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(My roommate, MY fridge) Stumble across the apartment and pee in your roommates fridge because you think it's the bathroom

Throw up in the tunnel to Canada (going back to detroit)
 
Fall asleep naked in your grandmas hallway, wake up with my brother telling me him and my grandma carried me to a bed. Make out with one of my girlsfriends. Get random numbers and not member who they are when they say wuddup.
 
... until you take a piss on your friend's brother's TV thinking you were in the bathroom.

Yea I did that the first night I had hard liquor. 10 shots of tequila and 4 funneled beers in an hour and a half while not eating anything for the last 6 hourswill do that to ya. Def not my proudest moment.
 
Until you tried to jump through your brothers windshield and cracked it.
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Humped your Grandpa on the dance floor at your brothers wedding.

Gotten half naked on the dance floor at your bros wedding...and telling the manager to bite your @#$! when asked to put your clothes back on.

Or until you duped some random smeezy into getting out of your car naked....and then pulled away throwing all of her stuff out the window...including herI-phone or atleast whats left of it.
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Ill think of more.
 
went to sleep drunk....

then woken up still drunk......

then telling people who slept over cause they were drunk that "THIS AINT MOTEL 6, WE WILL NOT LEAVE THE LIGHT ON FOR YOU"

Finally take a drunk man dookie that smells like alcohol.

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you've woken up in the passenger seat of a 96 dodge neon in the parking lot of JCPENNEY's

with the driver seat covered in puke

and not a damn stain on you.
 
"... blacked out the night before and end up sleeping through not only commencement ceremonies, but your department's individual graduation. And wake up at 4 pm that afternoon with 29 missed phone calls from your folks, cousins, and grand parents (the last of whom were flown in the day before from Jamaica and Florida.)"
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damn.
 
one night i was done...i had to use the bathroom so i ran into what i thought was my apartment but it was my neighbors so i said "hey" to her wentupstairs to use the bathroom...while trying to squat i fell forward and banged my head on the door...when i was done i went down stairs told my neighbori'll see her at the party and rolled out like that was normal...that was my first time in her apartment...
 
my wildest moment..i was gonna go to the club with my brother and his friends..we had some rum..i drank like 3 or 4 cups..plus i was drinking everybodyelses..ended up blacking out..didn't remember anything..they told me the next day all the crazy #@%# i did..worst thing was when i woke up the nextmorning..had a terrible hangover..and discovered i had pissed and isshed on myself
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You all are fools.
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I guess i'm glad i've never been THAT drunk to wake up in my own backyard and not know it.


Originally Posted by SiMPLYDiMPLY

you're not a Smoker until you've been high and burnt your hair and scalp on a candle brcuase you lost your lighter
I have managed to do that though.
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