There are NO benefits for men to get married.

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 I said I don't believe his claims about being 100% happy, faithful, and whatever feeling a man should have when he gets married.  

Correct me if I am wrong.

First and foremost, forget LDJ. We are just talking about a make believe person, not him.

1. Are you implying that if he WAS 100% happy (which I think is impossible considering we are human being), he WOULD get married?

2. COnversely, Are you implying that since he is NOT married that there is no way he is 100% happy?

Which goes back to the argument of does the actual wedding/marriage cause the immense happiness or do you get married because you are experience immense happiness. CHicken/Egg complex almost.

Because I am arguing that someone CAN be "100%" happy even if there is no ceremony/marriage, but from what I am reading, you don't think that is possible.

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 I said I don't believe his claims about being 100% happy, faithful, and whatever feeling a man should have when he gets married.  

Correct me if I am wrong.

First and foremost, forget LDJ. We are just talking about a make believe person, not him.

1. Are you implying that if he WAS 100% happy (which I think is impossible considering we are human being), he WOULD get married?

2. COnversely, Are you implying that since he is NOT married that there is no way he is 100% happy?

Which goes back to the argument of does the actual wedding/marriage cause the immense happiness or do you get married because you are experience immense happiness. CHicken/Egg complex almost.

Because I am arguing that someone CAN be "100%" happy even if there is no ceremony/marriage, but from what I am reading, you don't think that is possible.

1. yes I am

2. he might be happy but just lazy and too comfortable.  and maybe the same for his woman.  so the better question is if you have no plans of EVER getting married then yes you are not 100% happy.  Many people live together until the time is right and I'm not gonna say they aren't happy. 

Nobody atleast what I have said and read has ever said that the wedding/marriage causes the immense happiness.  So there is no chicken/egg complex.  You are immensely happy and decide to get married.  Nobody is MORE in love after a wedding/marriage. 

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

 I said I don't believe his claims about being 100% happy, faithful, and whatever feeling a man should have when he gets married.  

Correct me if I am wrong.

First and foremost, forget LDJ. We are just talking about a make believe person, not him.

1. Are you implying that if he WAS 100% happy (which I think is impossible considering we are human being), he WOULD get married?

2. COnversely, Are you implying that since he is NOT married that there is no way he is 100% happy?

Which goes back to the argument of does the actual wedding/marriage cause the immense happiness or do you get married because you are experience immense happiness. CHicken/Egg complex almost.

Because I am arguing that someone CAN be "100%" happy even if there is no ceremony/marriage, but from what I am reading, you don't think that is possible.

1. yes I am

2. he might be happy but just lazy and too comfortable.  and maybe the same for his woman.  so the better question is if you have no plans of EVER getting married then yes you are not 100% happy.  Many people live together until the time is right and I'm not gonna say they aren't happy. 

Nobody atleast what I have said and read has ever said that the wedding/marriage causes the immense happiness.  So there is no chicken/egg complex.  You are immensely happy and decide to get married.  Nobody is MORE in love after a wedding/marriage. 

 

[jjdd101]

Well, Id like to contribute something...


My girls mom works for Planned Parenthood.

 

[jjdd101]

Well, Id like to contribute something...


My girls mom works for Planned Parenthood.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

1. yes I am

2. he might be happy but just lazy and too comfortable.  and maybe the same for his woman.  so the better question is if you have no plans of EVER getting married then yes you are not 100% happy.  Many people live together until the time is right and I'm not gonna say they aren't happy. 

Nobody atleast what I have said and read has ever said that the wedding/marriage causes the immense happiness.  So there is no chicken/egg complex.  You are immensely happy and decide to get married.  Nobody is MORE in love after a wedding/marriage. 

Truth, you don't think it is semi closed minded to think that ALL people who are in love with their significant other immensely, has to have it validated by marriage? What I am getting from you is someone's love/happiness isn't complete until they make that jump. But again, that jump is a man made union. It isn't a natural concept. So for you to say that if someone was TRULY happy, then they WOULD get married.

You also state that if someone doesn't have plans to EVER get married, that means they aren't truly (I won't continue to use the 100% reference point) happy? I honestly can't see how you can make that claim considering marriage is a man-made concept. It isn't an emotional thereshold that is naturally needed to pass in the heart/mind to validate happiness.

That is where we differ. I don't view it as a validation, you are. Please don't say you aren't because by you saying someone ISN'T truly happy without it, or plans for it. And you also say that is someone was TRULY happy, they WOULD do it. Sounds like you are equating the marriage with validation of the emotions. Which it isn't in my book.

You saying nobody is more in love after the wedding/marriage has been argued to death by a few of us in this thread. So yea, glad you understand that point.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

1. yes I am

2. he might be happy but just lazy and too comfortable.  and maybe the same for his woman.  so the better question is if you have no plans of EVER getting married then yes you are not 100% happy.  Many people live together until the time is right and I'm not gonna say they aren't happy. 

Nobody atleast what I have said and read has ever said that the wedding/marriage causes the immense happiness.  So there is no chicken/egg complex.  You are immensely happy and decide to get married.  Nobody is MORE in love after a wedding/marriage. 

Truth, you don't think it is semi closed minded to think that ALL people who are in love with their significant other immensely, has to have it validated by marriage? What I am getting from you is someone's love/happiness isn't complete until they make that jump. But again, that jump is a man made union. It isn't a natural concept. So for you to say that if someone was TRULY happy, then they WOULD get married.

You also state that if someone doesn't have plans to EVER get married, that means they aren't truly (I won't continue to use the 100% reference point) happy? I honestly can't see how you can make that claim considering marriage is a man-made concept. It isn't an emotional thereshold that is naturally needed to pass in the heart/mind to validate happiness.

That is where we differ. I don't view it as a validation, you are. Please don't say you aren't because by you saying someone ISN'T truly happy without it, or plans for it. And you also say that is someone was TRULY happy, they WOULD do it. Sounds like you are equating the marriage with validation of the emotions. Which it isn't in my book.

You saying nobody is more in love after the wedding/marriage has been argued to death by a few of us in this thread. So yea, glad you understand that point.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

  If you are in love and have a healthy relationship then the following should not stop you from getting married.
- Cheap....that's just sad. A wedding and ring shouldn't kill your pockets but damn you gotta spend some money.

So yes those are immature, dumb reasons to not get married if you've found the woman of your dreams. 

Like I mentioned before, you don't GOTTA do anything. You can get married at Justice of Peace or have something outside in your damn backyard that will cost close to nothing. IF I get married, this would be what I would do. I don't want to spend my $ on a wedding because a wedding (social ceremony) means nothing to me at all. I view that as the woman's day man. Some men enjoy it but when I personally think of wedding, I think of a special day for a woman. Something most of them dream about since they were little girls.

But yea, you don't have to spend much $.  Just gameplan.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

  If you are in love and have a healthy relationship then the following should not stop you from getting married.
- Cheap....that's just sad. A wedding and ring shouldn't kill your pockets but damn you gotta spend some money.

So yes those are immature, dumb reasons to not get married if you've found the woman of your dreams. 

Like I mentioned before, you don't GOTTA do anything. You can get married at Justice of Peace or have something outside in your damn backyard that will cost close to nothing. IF I get married, this would be what I would do. I don't want to spend my $ on a wedding because a wedding (social ceremony) means nothing to me at all. I view that as the woman's day man. Some men enjoy it but when I personally think of wedding, I think of a special day for a woman. Something most of them dream about since they were little girls.

But yea, you don't have to spend much $.  Just gameplan.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Ok truth, let me give you a basketball analogy to see if you can see where I am coming from.

Keith LOVES basketball.

Keith is very good at basketball.

But Keith doesn't have any desires of playing organized basketball. He prefers and is content with playing at Run n Shoot, HoopMagic, and outside.

People come up to him all of the time saying, "Keith, you need to be playing SOMEWHERE. You are wasting your talent. If you REALLY love the game, you should be playing SOMEWHERE."

Keith doesn't believe that. Keith LOVES the game, he REALLY loves the game. But he doesn't feel the need to validate his love for the game through official competition.

Would you say that Keith doesn't REALLY love the game since he is fine with enjoying it at the unconventional, unofficial, and underground levels?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Ok truth, let me give you a basketball analogy to see if you can see where I am coming from.

Keith LOVES basketball.

Keith is very good at basketball.

But Keith doesn't have any desires of playing organized basketball. He prefers and is content with playing at Run n Shoot, HoopMagic, and outside.

People come up to him all of the time saying, "Keith, you need to be playing SOMEWHERE. You are wasting your talent. If you REALLY love the game, you should be playing SOMEWHERE."

Keith doesn't believe that. Keith LOVES the game, he REALLY loves the game. But he doesn't feel the need to validate his love for the game through official competition.

Would you say that Keith doesn't REALLY love the game since he is fine with enjoying it at the unconventional, unofficial, and underground levels?

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

1. yes I am

2. he might be happy but just lazy and too comfortable.  and maybe the same for his woman.  so the better question is if you have no plans of EVER getting married then yes you are not 100% happy.  Many people live together until the time is right and I'm not gonna say they aren't happy. 

Nobody atleast what I have said and read has ever said that the wedding/marriage causes the immense happiness.  So there is no chicken/egg complex.  You are immensely happy and decide to get married.  Nobody is MORE in love after a wedding/marriage. 

Truth, you don't think it is semi closed minded to think that ALL people who are in love with their significant other immensely, has to have it validated by marriage? What I am getting from you is someone's love/happiness isn't complete until they make that jump. But again, that jump is a man made union. It isn't a natural concept. So for you to say that if someone was TRULY happy, then they WOULD get married.

You also state that if someone doesn't have plans to EVER get married, that means they aren't truly (I won't continue to use the 100% reference point) happy? I honestly can't see how you can make that claim considering marriage is a man-made concept. It isn't an emotional thereshold that is naturally needed to pass in the heart/mind to validate happiness.

That is where we differ. I don't view it as a validation, you are. Please don't say you aren't because by you saying someone ISN'T truly happy without it, or plans for it. And you also say that is someone was TRULY happy, they WOULD do it. Sounds like you are equating the marriage with validation of the emotions. Which it isn't in my book.

You saying nobody is more in love after the wedding/marriage has been argued to death by a few of us in this thread. So yea, glad you understand that point.

I really doubt that if somebody felt this way that they would have a chick that felt the same way.  I feel like some dudes are fighting their woman, society, family, etc.  just to not get a married.  And if you are doing that then maybe you aren't truly happy.  It's just reallllllly rare you have 2 people are cool with a life-long partnership.  And if you guys have settled down and agreed on a life-long partnership then why wouldn't you want to come together legally for finanicial, legal, medical reasons?  Why make life harder than it needs be?

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

1. yes I am

2. he might be happy but just lazy and too comfortable.  and maybe the same for his woman.  so the better question is if you have no plans of EVER getting married then yes you are not 100% happy.  Many people live together until the time is right and I'm not gonna say they aren't happy. 

Nobody atleast what I have said and read has ever said that the wedding/marriage causes the immense happiness.  So there is no chicken/egg complex.  You are immensely happy and decide to get married.  Nobody is MORE in love after a wedding/marriage. 

Truth, you don't think it is semi closed minded to think that ALL people who are in love with their significant other immensely, has to have it validated by marriage? What I am getting from you is someone's love/happiness isn't complete until they make that jump. But again, that jump is a man made union. It isn't a natural concept. So for you to say that if someone was TRULY happy, then they WOULD get married.

You also state that if someone doesn't have plans to EVER get married, that means they aren't truly (I won't continue to use the 100% reference point) happy? I honestly can't see how you can make that claim considering marriage is a man-made concept. It isn't an emotional thereshold that is naturally needed to pass in the heart/mind to validate happiness.

That is where we differ. I don't view it as a validation, you are. Please don't say you aren't because by you saying someone ISN'T truly happy without it, or plans for it. And you also say that is someone was TRULY happy, they WOULD do it. Sounds like you are equating the marriage with validation of the emotions. Which it isn't in my book.

You saying nobody is more in love after the wedding/marriage has been argued to death by a few of us in this thread. So yea, glad you understand that point.

I really doubt that if somebody felt this way that they would have a chick that felt the same way.  I feel like some dudes are fighting their woman, society, family, etc.  just to not get a married.  And if you are doing that then maybe you aren't truly happy.  It's just reallllllly rare you have 2 people are cool with a life-long partnership.  And if you guys have settled down and agreed on a life-long partnership then why wouldn't you want to come together legally for finanicial, legal, medical reasons?  Why make life harder than it needs be?

 

[likethematrix]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Ok truth, let me give you a basketball analogy to see if you can see where I am coming from.

Keith LOVES basketball.

Keith is very good at basketball.

But Keith doesn't have any desires of playing organized basketball. He prefers and is content with playing at Run n Shoot, HoopMagic, and outside.

People come up to him all of the time saying, "Keith, you need to be playing SOMEWHERE. You are wasting your talent. If you REALLY love the game, you should be playing SOMEWHERE."

Keith doesn't believe that. Keith LOVES the game, he REALLY loves the game. But he doesn't feel the need to validate his love for the game through official competition.

Would you say that Keith doesn't REALLY love the game since he is fine with enjoying it at the unconventional, unofficial, and underground levels?

if you replaced basketball with %@%+@!! you would see how gay you sound right now.
no marvin.

 

[likethematrix]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Ok truth, let me give you a basketball analogy to see if you can see where I am coming from.

Keith LOVES basketball.

Keith is very good at basketball.

But Keith doesn't have any desires of playing organized basketball. He prefers and is content with playing at Run n Shoot, HoopMagic, and outside.

People come up to him all of the time saying, "Keith, you need to be playing SOMEWHERE. You are wasting your talent. If you REALLY love the game, you should be playing SOMEWHERE."

Keith doesn't believe that. Keith LOVES the game, he REALLY loves the game. But he doesn't feel the need to validate his love for the game through official competition.

Would you say that Keith doesn't REALLY love the game since he is fine with enjoying it at the unconventional, unofficial, and underground levels?

if you replaced basketball with %@%+@!! you would see how gay you sound right now.
no marvin.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

I really doubt that if somebody felt this way that they would have a chick that felt the same way.  I feel like some dudes are fighting their woman, society, family, etc.  just to not get a married.  And if you are doing that then maybe you aren't truly happy.  It's just reallllllly rare you have 2 people are cool with a life-long partnership.  And if you guys have settled down and agreed on a life-long partnership then why wouldn't you want to come together legally for finanicial, legal, medical reasons?  Why make life harder than it needs be?

See Truth, that is where you are being closed minded. All women don't feel the same way. All women aren't in agreeance with the idea of marriage. Women that have my mindset, and LDJ, and Anton's mindset exist. Of course you don't see commcercials promoting it, but they exist.

Yes it might be rare, but again, to question the love (emotion) that two people share for eachother on whether or not they have a legal contract validating it is just something I can't agree with at all.

And you ask why make life harder than it needs to be. Why is there an assumption that it would be hard for those two people to live life without that legal contract? Again, you are looking at it from your own ideas/thoughts/conceptions of marriage.

Everyone doesn't feel the same way Truth. I think you are having a hard time seeing that here.

There is no right/wrong way. Just because YOU might find difficulty in buying it doesn't mean that it would be "hard" for two others to do it. I just wish you would stop quesitoning the LOVE/Commitment on whether or not a ceremony was taken place.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

I really doubt that if somebody felt this way that they would have a chick that felt the same way.  I feel like some dudes are fighting their woman, society, family, etc.  just to not get a married.  And if you are doing that then maybe you aren't truly happy.  It's just reallllllly rare you have 2 people are cool with a life-long partnership.  And if you guys have settled down and agreed on a life-long partnership then why wouldn't you want to come together legally for finanicial, legal, medical reasons?  Why make life harder than it needs be?

See Truth, that is where you are being closed minded. All women don't feel the same way. All women aren't in agreeance with the idea of marriage. Women that have my mindset, and LDJ, and Anton's mindset exist. Of course you don't see commcercials promoting it, but they exist.

Yes it might be rare, but again, to question the love (emotion) that two people share for eachother on whether or not they have a legal contract validating it is just something I can't agree with at all.

And you ask why make life harder than it needs to be. Why is there an assumption that it would be hard for those two people to live life without that legal contract? Again, you are looking at it from your own ideas/thoughts/conceptions of marriage.

Everyone doesn't feel the same way Truth. I think you are having a hard time seeing that here.

There is no right/wrong way. Just because YOU might find difficulty in buying it doesn't mean that it would be "hard" for two others to do it. I just wish you would stop quesitoning the LOVE/Commitment on whether or not a ceremony was taken place.

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Ok truth, let me give you a basketball analogy to see if you can see where I am coming from.

Keith LOVES basketball.

Keith is very good at basketball.

But Keith doesn't have any desires of playing organized basketball. He prefers and is content with playing at Run n Shoot, HoopMagic, and outside.

People come up to him all of the time saying, "Keith, you need to be playing SOMEWHERE. You are wasting your talent. If you REALLY love the game, you should be playing SOMEWHERE."

Keith doesn't believe that. Keith LOVES the game, he REALLY loves the game. But he doesn't feel the need to validate his love for the game through official competition.

Would you say that Keith doesn't REALLY love the game since he is fine with enjoying it at the unconventional, unofficial, and underground levels?

Yes I would say he doesn't really love the game he might just really like it.  If he was good enough to do it for a living then why wouldn't he?  If you love the game why would you work a 9-5 then play with less talented players at the local spots? So I don't agree with that analogy.  I love basketball and I play it for free but if I had the chance I would make it my career because I love it that much.  Can't agree with that one.  We all know dudes that would kill for a chance to hoop overseas or wherever.  Those guys love the game more than the high major D-1 guy that goes and works on Wall St. 

 

[truthgetsbusy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Ok truth, let me give you a basketball analogy to see if you can see where I am coming from.

Keith LOVES basketball.

Keith is very good at basketball.

But Keith doesn't have any desires of playing organized basketball. He prefers and is content with playing at Run n Shoot, HoopMagic, and outside.

People come up to him all of the time saying, "Keith, you need to be playing SOMEWHERE. You are wasting your talent. If you REALLY love the game, you should be playing SOMEWHERE."

Keith doesn't believe that. Keith LOVES the game, he REALLY loves the game. But he doesn't feel the need to validate his love for the game through official competition.

Would you say that Keith doesn't REALLY love the game since he is fine with enjoying it at the unconventional, unofficial, and underground levels?

Yes I would say he doesn't really love the game he might just really like it.  If he was good enough to do it for a living then why wouldn't he?  If you love the game why would you work a 9-5 then play with less talented players at the local spots? So I don't agree with that analogy.  I love basketball and I play it for free but if I had the chance I would make it my career because I love it that much.  Can't agree with that one.  We all know dudes that would kill for a chance to hoop overseas or wherever.  Those guys love the game more than the high major D-1 guy that goes and works on Wall St. 

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

Yes I would say he doesn't really love the game he might just really like it.  If he was good enough to do it for a living then why wouldn't he?  If you love the game why would you work a 9-5 then play with less talented players at the local spots? So I don't agree with that analogy.  I love basketball and I play it for free but if I had the chance I would make it my career because I love it that much.  Can't agree with that one.  We all know dudes that would kill for a chance to hoop overseas or wherever.  Those guys love the game more than the high major D-1 guy that goes and works on Wall St. 

See I can't buy that at all. What if he doesn't want to every be away from his family. What if he is a single dad? What if he is currently in school. There are so many other factors that you can consider besides making a blanket statement, "If he really loved it he would be playing pro." It isn't always that simple man. You are looking at it from a simplistic POV.

I won't go back and forth with you because I know where you stand and you know where I stand.

I don't think you can equate the amount of love that is present with whether or not someone choses to socially validate it or not.

So I tap out of this one.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

Yes I would say he doesn't really love the game he might just really like it.  If he was good enough to do it for a living then why wouldn't he?  If you love the game why would you work a 9-5 then play with less talented players at the local spots? So I don't agree with that analogy.  I love basketball and I play it for free but if I had the chance I would make it my career because I love it that much.  Can't agree with that one.  We all know dudes that would kill for a chance to hoop overseas or wherever.  Those guys love the game more than the high major D-1 guy that goes and works on Wall St. 

See I can't buy that at all. What if he doesn't want to every be away from his family. What if he is a single dad? What if he is currently in school. There are so many other factors that you can consider besides making a blanket statement, "If he really loved it he would be playing pro." It isn't always that simple man. You are looking at it from a simplistic POV.

I won't go back and forth with you because I know where you stand and you know where I stand.

I don't think you can equate the amount of love that is present with whether or not someone choses to socially validate it or not.

So I tap out of this one.

 

[|A-Man|]

Maybe he wants to do something else instead of playing professionally? Maybe Keith has options.

I just find it sad ppl have such a twisted view on things where they would even have an opinion on whether or not somebody loves someone or something just because they have a different set of beliefs on how one should display their love for another.

 

[|A-Man|]

Maybe he wants to do something else instead of playing professionally? Maybe Keith has options.

I just find it sad ppl have such a twisted view on things where they would even have an opinion on whether or not somebody loves someone or something just because they have a different set of beliefs on how one should display their love for another.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by ATGD7154xBBxMZ

Maybe he wants to do something else instead of playing professionally? Maybe Keith has options.

I just find it sad ppl have such a twisted view on things where they would even have an opinion on whether or not somebody loves someone or something just because they have a different set of beliefs on how one should display their love for another.

Yea it is all about the display we are speaking of here.

I am not the type of dude that holds hands in public. That just isn't me. I was told that I didn't really care for one person because I never held their hand in public. Of course I thought that was a ridiculous claim because you are essentially telling me how much I care for a person now depends how something like that? Really?

Everyone has different ways to display emotion. Some need public displays. Some are turned off by them. But there is no right or wrong way and it is unfair to question someone's emotion based on how they display that emotion.

Does someone that doesn't cry at their mothers funeral have their love questioned because of their outward display of sorrow?
Does someone that doesn't crack a smile after they win an Olympic hold medal have their desire, appreciation, and joy questioned because of their lack of "happiness."

Why? It isn't right. Almost like all of the things Jay Cutlet has went through in his career. People questioning his love/desire/hunger because of his bland, stonefaced emotions. How silly is that?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by ATGD7154xBBxMZ

Maybe he wants to do something else instead of playing professionally? Maybe Keith has options.

I just find it sad ppl have such a twisted view on things where they would even have an opinion on whether or not somebody loves someone or something just because they have a different set of beliefs on how one should display their love for another.

Yea it is all about the display we are speaking of here.

I am not the type of dude that holds hands in public. That just isn't me. I was told that I didn't really care for one person because I never held their hand in public. Of course I thought that was a ridiculous claim because you are essentially telling me how much I care for a person now depends how something like that? Really?

Everyone has different ways to display emotion. Some need public displays. Some are turned off by them. But there is no right or wrong way and it is unfair to question someone's emotion based on how they display that emotion.

Does someone that doesn't cry at their mothers funeral have their love questioned because of their outward display of sorrow?
Does someone that doesn't crack a smile after they win an Olympic hold medal have their desire, appreciation, and joy questioned because of their lack of "happiness."

Why? It isn't right. Almost like all of the things Jay Cutlet has went through in his career. People questioning his love/desire/hunger because of his bland, stonefaced emotions. How silly is that?