From a woman's perspective, I'll tell you guys a story about the last time I told someone "I didn't just want to have sex...."
D had crush on me for like a year but I was in a relationship. Let's say I put him in the friend/homiezone
He'd always kick game to me like "oh we should go out" "that's not your boyfriend so why you won't come chill with me?" You know.... tryna run game
I'd kick it at his place from time to time but on the cool, it was on some chill ****. One time I remember we went to the movies (he paid his way, I paid mine) I guess after a while he stopped being just the homie and we stopped communicating. Lets say 5-6 months go by and my relationship ended. Now, we don't really run int he same circles all that much but he RANDOMLY started hitting me up again out the blue. Needless to say, he brought up the idea of "us" again and since I was free I was like **** it, why not. Now this was , and I kid you not, like a WEEK after I just broke up with my BF (I know... I know
) But on the cool my BF wasn't that great of a guy anyway and I think he wanted to break up with me sooner but was just to chicken **** to come out and say it. So the instant I did something, even though it was small, he used that as his opportunity to peace out. Oh well, win some lose some.
Aiight, so me and D are talking, dating for about 3 weeks... a month TOPS. He hits me up one day on some (and I'm dead serious) "I did some push ups this morning etc. and I'm tryna kick it with my favorite girl"
I knew then what his game was, and I knew my breakup was kinda fresh so I asked him flat out if I came over that night would I be expected to sleep with him. He told me in a round about way "yes," and that we'd been kicking it a while (in his mind) and people who he dates he expects to have sex with. I told him that if I came over I didn't want to have sex cuz my relationship was fresh and I didn't want to be sleeping with him and thinking about my ex. Blah blah blah we talk in circles and I tell him I'll think about it and call him back.
So... I thought about it. I knew what would be expected of me if I went over there. I thought "well I'm broken up... ****, I'm DUMPED... why should I go around feeling sorry myself thinking about a dude who obviously didn't care about me all that much... cuz if he did, we'd still be together. " To make a long story short, I went over ol' dude's house and had a rather enjoyable smash session. Talking multiple positions.... head ....
GOOD QUALITY HEAD at that, and even some early morning action before work
He and I ended up dating for about 5-6 months but just being honest with ya'll I was nothing more than a glorified f*** buddy to him (that homegirl you are really cool with and have good sex with too--that was me). We'd still go out on dates and what not but I wasn't his GF. WHICH, I know that's my fault and I take full responsibility cuz he let me know what his intentions were up front. He's out of my life now but hey I used it as a learning experience. Tried being friends and that worked great (for me) but I kinda think he didn't like the fact that I wouldn't sleep with him again so he stopped talking to me (over some dumb ****)
The moral of the story is this--- sometimes a woman will say something legit trying to be honest. If you are honest in return we might surprise you. If you want sex, SAY THAT... then we can at least make a decision if you want to have sex as well. When you start with games, you end with games/drama. Keep that in mind.