TAY: IT'S A MAN THING GINA

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JOEYxFRESCO said:
JOEYxFRESCO said:
I need a listening ear and some advice NT

So me and my girl recently split back in April and have been trying to get the relationship back on track since then but since the middle June she decided she has enough of my BS and called it quits for good. Since then I did a lot of thinking and realized that most of our problems started with me and I owned up to them and have trying to get her back for about like two weeks now with very little movement and then her going back to saying no. I'm like at that cliche point where "you never know what you got till its gone" phase. I just don't what to do and need some support. Like I've never felt this way about anybody and it sucks even more because we are where we are because of me.
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JOEYxFRESCO said:
I mean my main issue with her was she was slowly pulling away from me but after we broke up and thought about it I realized that I kind of did it to myself because I wasn't being the person I was in the beginning of the relationship. I started getting kind of insecure and when we would argue I would escalate them to levels I shouldn't and I would say some pretty hurtful and ****** up things. So all of my bs kind of pushed her away. And this last fight in April where I moved was he result of a stupid argument and me doing the childish thing and packing up my stuff and leaving. Keep in mind this wasn't the first time I've just packed and left. I just never fixed my issues and return it pushed her away. Other than that any issues or problems I had with her she was pretty quick to fix
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Any more advice from fellow TAYers?
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Not a regular here but u need to work on yourself b. No sense in being in a relationship w/ someone when u got your own issues to work out. Insecurity is not a good look in a relationship and will definitely push the other one away. As u get older, you'll have an "It is what it is" attitude about a lot of things and it'll help in future relationships.....that is if u desire to grow, if not....well, u won't.
 
Dathbgboy said:
Not a regular here but u need to work on yourself b. No sense in being in a relationship w/ someone when u got your own issues to work out. Insecurity is not a good look in a relationship and will definitely push the other one away. As u get older, you'll have an "It is what it is" attitude about a lot of things and it'll help in future relationships.....that is if u desire to grow, if not....well, u won't.
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I hear you fam. I don't know, I guess I just feel guilty that I was such a terrible boyfriend and want to make it up to her. I mean I still have strong feelings for her and I'm sure she's indifferent about it so I'm just chilling and haven't talked to her since Monday

I do need to change tho. Regardless of the outcome
 
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JOEYxFRESCO said:
Dathbgboy said:
Not a regular here but u need to work on yourself b. No sense in being in a relationship w/ someone when u got your own issues to work out. Insecurity is not a good look in a relationship and will definitely push the other one away. As u get older, you'll have an "It is what it is" attitude about a lot of things and it'll help in future relationships.....that is if u desire to grow, if not....well, u won't.
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I hear you fam. I don't know, I guess I just feel guilty that I was such a terrible boyfriend and want to make it up to her. I mean I still have strong feelings for her and I'm sure she's indifferent about it so I'm just chilling and haven't talked to her since Monday

I do need to change tho. Regardless of the outcome
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Stop forcing it. If it's too be, it will be. The more u push towards her, the more she'll push away. Best way to show her that u regret it is to give her space while u work on u. Gotta show growth or she'll always be thinking about how yall ended.
 
Dathbgboy said:
Stop forcing it. If it's too be, it will be. The more u push towards her, the more she'll push away. Best way to show her that u regret it is to give her space while u work on u. Gotta show growth or she'll always be thinking about how yall ended.
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Yea that's what I'm doing right now and I'm working on me in the mean time. I don't think she'll go through with it and if she doesn't go through with I'm here a new man. As much of my bs that she's been through I'm surprised she haven't left a while back. She's a good one and I'll be damned if I lose her so if space is what it takes then **** it
 
Dathbgboy said:
JOEYxFRESCO said:
Dathbgboy said:
Not a regular here but u need to work on yourself b. No sense in being in a relationship w/ someone when u got your own issues to work out. Insecurity is not a good look in a relationship and will definitely push the other one away. As u get older, you'll have an "It is what it is" attitude about a lot of things and it'll help in future relationships.....that is if u desire to grow, if not....well, u won't.
Click to expand...
I hear you fam. I don't know, I guess I just feel guilty that I was such a terrible boyfriend and want to make it up to her. I mean I still have strong feelings for her and I'm sure she's indifferent about it so I'm just chilling and haven't talked to her since Monday

I do need to change tho. Regardless of the outcome
Click to expand...

Stop forcing it. If it's too be, it will be. The more u push towards her, the more she'll push away. Best way to show her that u regret it is to give her space while u work on u. Gotta show growth or she'll always be thinking about how yall ended.
Click to expand...

This. I've been where you are, feeling guilty so I did everything to try and fix it. It pushed her further away, and I dived deeper into insecurity with each rejection. She's actually reinserted herself a few times, seeing if I was better, but because I was so eager to have her back and fix things, I was worse so we parted again. When I started fixing things for myself, rather than to get us back, things got better. I'm so happy with who I am, who I will be that even though I miss her, I have no desire to go running back to her and those ways. Like he says, get to that "it is what it is" stage. Fix you for you.
 
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Mark Antony said:
This. I've been where you are, feeling guilty so I did everything to try and fix it. It pushed her further away, and I dived deeper into insecurity with each rejection. She's actually reinserted herself a few times, seeing if I was better, but because I was so eager to have her back and fix things, I was worse so we parted again. When I started fixing things for myself, rather than to get us back, things got better. I'm so happy with who I am, who I will be that even though I miss her, I have no desire to go running back to her and those ways. Like he says, get to that "it is what it is" stage. Fix you for you.
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I can get down with that. It feels good hearing this from someone in my shoes before. Like I said I've been chilling and doing me since I posted this. Thanks for positive words dudes
 
You gotta flip the script like Mark said. The more you ignore her after the break up the better you'll feel, and the worse she'll feel. Not in a hostile way, but she'll feel worst because she misses you and is wondering how you are flourishing without her. Bet if you don't end in a huge blowout then don't speak to her she'll hit you up within a few months maybe even a few weeks if she really wants you back.
 
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Two nights ago I realized why I hate condoms, morning after pill+pull out next time.
 
Hennessy said:
You gotta flip the script like Mark said. The more you ignore her after the break up the better you'll feel, and the worse she'll feel. Not in a hostile way, but she'll feel worst because she misses you and is wondering how you are flourishing without her. Bet if you don't end in a huge blowout then don't speak to her she'll hit you up within a few months maybe even a few weeks if she really wants you back.
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yea I'm sure she'll crack after a week or two if not, **** it. Ima do me and get better for the next one
 
Finally smashed DC chick tonight..

I get home and she starts saying stuff like this (no screenshots, some of the texts will get this thread locked):

"Anything sexual is different when I like someone.. There's an extra layer of nervousness and pressure idk how to explain it really"

"Well I'm super embarrassed and I feel bad about being awkward in the middle of everything but that's just not how I imagined having sex with you (in the back of a car) and I also felt a little pressured, and I just have a fear that once you sleep with me I'll never hear from you again because that's happened so many times and also it's just crazy to me that I like you as much as I do..I think you're probably too good for me for some reason which makes me act a lot more reserved than I usually would. Just all of that combined was a lot"

"And yeah i think we do make sense however crazy it is to say that so early you just check all the boxes for me"

"1. You have a real job 2. You don't dress like Chief Keef or any of his colleagues 3. You're smart 4. You're respectful 5. You're cognizant of social issues and 6. You don't treat me like an idiot because I'm not a man"

This is coming from a chick in law school :lol:, I don't know why I think that would lead to better judgement

Graduated undergrad with a 4.0, interned at the White House, Supreme Court, etc..crazy how dudes can make girls think irrationally and vice versa
 
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billtoss.gif

That's not caused by other people(maybe a small percentage is) but a lot of that talk is straight low self esteem on her part.
She has a lot of work to do on herself and all that talk is projecting. But you just opened Pandora's Box(figuratively and literally), she is about to apply a full court press with traps at the top of the key on you)..
[emoji]9996[/emoji][emoji]127999[/emoji]️
 
It's crazy because she never seemed like the low self esteem type..chick always came off OD confident. :lol:

On some "my ish don't stink" type stuff. For the longest she seemed like the arrogant, bougie type. I guess not. Don't know what I just got myself into.
 
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Mark Antony said:
This. I've been where you are, feeling guilty so I did everything to try and fix it. It pushed her further away, and I dived deeper into insecurity with each rejection. She's actually reinserted herself a few times, seeing if I was better, but because I was so eager to have her back and fix things, I was worse so we parted again. When I started fixing things for myself, rather than to get us back, things got better. I'm so happy with who I am, who I will be that even though I miss her, I have no desire to go running back to her and those ways. Like he says, get to that "it is what it is" stage. Fix you for you.
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:pimp:

This wasn't meant for me but those words were needed.
 
USABasketball08 said:
It's crazy because she never seemed like the low self esteem type..chick always came off OD confident. :lol:

On some "my ish don't stink" type stuff. For the longest she seemed like the arrogant, bougie type. I guess not. Don't know what I just got myself into.
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Bruh it's ridiculous in the DC area how many women are like that, beautiful with their **** together, but once you break that barrier that self esteem is low. Shades, LV bag, strong glorious walk, masters degree, position of authority, own 6 figure income, seems out of your league... cries herself to sleep every now and then.
 
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Man, that's wild. I'm from the South and have never been to DC, or anywhere up North honestly. The chicks down here are the same way but geez, **** is wild. :lol:


I don't even know how to take those texts shorty sent to me. :lol: Not even sure what she was trying to say but I think I'm bad at reading women these days, after being in a committed (mostly..) relationship for years.

I can only imagine how good y'all have it the DMV. And Mark, you were right when you said sex builds chemistry..
 
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