So I Hit my Sister.... smh

[jaye05]

You're telling her to show respect for others when you tell her to shut the f up and tell her you'll slap the sht our of her. how do you expect her toshow respect when you don't do the same. yeah you're real respectful slapping your sister. smh

 

[purplehazze96]

i was gonna say it's not your place but then i got to the part where you said you slapped her on the leg

 

[ihust1e]

Originally Posted by aubstuh86

should have whipped it out to make a tight situation and awkward one.

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by 23ska909red02

You hit her... to make her respect others.

That's counterproductive on 2 levels.

#1. Hitting is disrespectful in itself, so it makes little sense for me to hit someone and tell them 'I'm hitting you to try and get you to be respectful to others, dammit!'

#2. You're not going to 'make' her do anything. The only person you can 'make' do something... is you.

I only lived with my sister and my dad for a couple years (from 18-20), and my sister was 9 kinds of disrespectful to my dad. We both resented him, but I just paid him no mind, paid him rent, stayed out of his hair, etc. She would go crazy on him... but I never hit her over it. It accomplishes nothing. Matter of fact, I've shared on here before that I've even fought for her when I saw my dads put his hands on her, pushing her or what not.

Yeah, my sister ended up going down a self-destructive path, and she's currently failing at life,'bout to get all 3 of her kids taken away by the state and everything, but would I have changed her life's path by hitting her when she was disrespectful to my dad?

Nope.

1) I don't think it's disrespectful to discipline someone by hitting. Some kids might understand it. Now for the kids that don'tunderstand like me. Mental games have to come into work. I believe if you're not Psycho and you are rational, one of those has to hit you. Either it'sthe physical discipline, or the mental discipline. Parents putting guilt trips on kids work too.
2.) you're right on that one, You can't make anyone do anything, but if you TRY by physically or mentally discipline them. It creates a spark in theirbrain when they F up. They'll remember DAMN didn't so and so told me or hit me not to do that?

 

[10 piece nuggets]

I think hitting only works when the child is young. So by the time he/she reaches that disrespectful/rebellious stage he/she will know better (scared) of doingthe wrong thing. Or not even that, but spanking at a young age will teach a child discipline and will know the right/wrong things to do and will developthemselves in such a way where they wont have that rebellious stage, or atleast not to the extent of being disrespectful to ones own parent.

Theres really no point in my opinion when a child is already close to the teenage years where their own mindset and ways is already basically planted. Thatsfrom personal observation from kids these days. But raising a child right will yield in a respectful one, at the very least.

 

[tbone95860]

Originally Posted by West2East

I never understood the logic behind trying to modify someones behavior when you are in fact mirroring it.

Huh?? Really???

Originally Posted by 23ska909red02

You hit her... to make her respect others.

That's counterproductive on 2 levels.

#1. Hitting is disrespectful in itself, so it makes little sense for me to hit someone and tell them 'I'm hitting you to try and get you to be respectful to others, dammit!'

#2. You're not going to 'make' her do anything. The only person you can 'make' do something... is you.

I only lived with my sister and my dad for a couple years (from 18-20), and my sister was 9 kinds of disrespectful to my dad. We both resented him, but I just paid him no mind, paid him rent, stayed out of his hair, etc. She would go crazy on him... but I never hit her over it. It accomplishes nothing. Matter of fact, I've shared on here before that I've even fought for her when I saw my dads put his hands on her, pushing her or what not.

Yeah, my sister ended up going down a self-destructive path, and she's currently failing at life,'bout to get all 3 of her kids taken away by the state and everything, but would I have changed her life's path by hitting her when she was disrespectful to my dad?

Nope.

I disagree with points #1 AND #2, I'm going to bed though, no time to write a mini-essay.

 

[darthska]

ShoeHefner5:

---

Over all these years ive been on NT, and with all the stuff i've seen you post...i just wanna give you a hug

. Really though...you seem to be able to squeeze the positive out of the proverbial turnip. I want that kind of trait

The thing that I find interesting about that is that I feel like I'm too cynical inside, too mistrusting of people and what not.

But there's always a right thing to do, and there's always a possibility for things to be worst; those two things I have held on to for as long as Ican remember.

 

[tyson mayweather]

 

[be23forlife]

Originally Posted by West2East

I never understood the logic behind trying to modify someones behavior when you are in fact mirroring it.

he wasn't mirroring it. His sister was being disrespectful to his Mother so he had to set his sister straight. There are other ways to handle thissituation but i know, from first hand, that hitting can be disciplinary.

Growin up my Mom wouldn't think twice about woopin me. hangers, belts, slippers, hand, backhand, u name it. It was so often that i didn't take itserious no more.

but my dad on the other hand, never hit me. talked to me about it, cracked jokes. until one time i was actin a fool towards him and he went off on me. and itset me straight. from then on i knew what i did was serious and i never did it again.

so...hitting can be disciplinary, in moderation. I take it that OP don't beat his sister for just any ol' thing, so i take it that his sister shouldunderstand why OP is so mad. Lookin at my homeboy's situation. when he used to get into it with his Mom he wouldn't care, until his Pops came in...andhe knew it was business.

 

[nycknicks105]

Originally Posted by 23ska909red02

You hit her... to make her respect others.

That's counterproductive on 2 levels.

#1. Hitting is disrespectful in itself, so it makes little sense for me to hit someone and tell them 'I'm hitting you to try and get you to be respectful to others, dammit!'

#2. You're not going to 'make' her do anything. The only person you can 'make' do something... is you.

I only lived with my sister and my dad for a couple years (from 18-20), and my sister was 9 kinds of disrespectful to my dad. We both resented him, but I just paid him no mind, paid him rent, stayed out of his hair, etc. She would go crazy on him... but I never hit her over it. It accomplishes nothing. Matter of fact, I've shared on here before that I've even fought for her when I saw my dads put his hands on her, pushing her or what not.

Yeah, my sister ended up going down a self-destructive path, and she's currently failing at life,'bout to get all 3 of her kids taken away by the state and everything, but would I have changed her life's path by hitting her when she was disrespectful to my dad?

Nope.

I guess hitting works for some people...I never really saw my parents while growing up, but earlier in my life I did get hit, and it straightenedme out.

Now, if I was in speaking terms with my sister right now I would've done the same thing. My sister is a complete +$@%@ right now, and she is so rebeliousand disrespective. She is 18 and STILL hasnst matured or understands a damn thing.

 

[west2east]

He was teaching his sister to be respectful by being disrespectful. How does that make any sense at all??

 

[be23forlife]

how was he disrespectful? out of line, maybe, for being disciplinary..but not disrespectful. how u supposed to respect a 12 y/o anyway? they don't know anybetter

 

[nycknicks105]

Originally Posted by West2East

He was teaching his sister to be respectful by being disrespectful. How does that make any sense at all??

You ever got hit as a child? If you haven't then you wont understand.

Originally Posted by Be23ForLife

how was he disrespectful? out of line, maybe, for being disciplinary..but not disrespectful. how u supposed to respect a 12 y/o anyway? they don't know any better

Exactly...growing up my sister and I didn't have our parents. So I basically was left the responsibility of raising her. I never hit her to discipline,because i wasn't that much older than she was. But when i was a child, my parents would hit me for doing something stupid. After the beating, i knew not todo it again, or else I'd get it. Also if I was being fussy, my parents would tell me to calm down, or else they'd give me a reason to cry about.

 

[knightngale]

To me she has begun to lose it and me being who I am don't want her turning into one of those lil hood rats geting loud and stuff so thats how I justify my action.
it may already be too late

your mom is obviously failing at being a parent

 

[be23forlife]

don't call out dudes Mom like that...you don't know him or his Mom's situation.

 

[west2east]

Cussing is disrespectful. The fact he did it in front of his mother is even more disrespectful. Screaming can be disrespectful and accomplishes nothing. He wasbasically doing what he was telling her not to do.

Here's the other thing. If she don't know any better than what is hitting her going to accomplish? What does that say about his mother and herparenting skills if by 12 she doesn't know any better? Come on! Yall gotta give kids more credit. It's like my older sister who tried to tell me a fewdays ago my nephew was too young at 21 months to learn the concept of waiting and being patient when my other nephew who is 3 months older had learned it atthat age.

Did I ever get hit?

. It's why I'm against it when there are clearly other options.

 

[darthska]

I got abused as a child.

Does that count?

Like I said, putting your hands on someone else is disrespectful. I'm not against hitting my son, but wife and I are on the same page with this: it will bethe LAST option we take, not the first (as is so often the case).

Hitting someone to discipline them should be the worst thing you can do to them, not the first thing. Corporal punishment should be the last option.

In an environment where the kid gets hit right off the bat, the reason nothing else works is because everything else is better than getting hit, and he alreadygets hit right off the bat, whether it's with a belt or a hand or whatever. It doesn't make sense to belt a kid one day for something, then the nextday when he does something worse and you're thinking 'O.K., I'm going to not hit him, like everyone else is suggesting,' then try to give him atimeout. A timeout for something worst than what he did yesterday, and he got belted yesterday?

The structure of discipline is completely gone.

And this is coming from someone who was definitely hit as a child, studied Marriage and Family Therapy, and is currently raising a son. Granted, my son is only14 months old, but still, those 3 things should count more than if I were just speaking from a vantage point that had never studied families and had zeroexperience raising a kid.

 

[kicktionair]

I didn't actually say the F word. I just typed it to emphasize my tone and anger.

I guess there is different opinions and methods of discipline. The one I am familiar is the physical one

 

[georgehimself]

Originally Posted by 23ska909red02

You hit her... to make her respect others.

That's counterproductive on 2 levels.

#1. Hitting is disrespectful in itself, so it makes little sense for me to hit someone and tell them 'I'm hitting you to try and get you to be respectful to others, dammit!'

#2. You're not going to 'make' her do anything. The only person you can 'make' do something... is you.

I only lived with my sister and my dad for a couple years (from 18-20), and my sister was 9 kinds of disrespectful to my dad. We both resented him, but I just paid him no mind, paid him rent, stayed out of his hair, etc. She would go crazy on him... but I never hit her over it. It accomplishes nothing. Matter of fact, I've shared on here before that I've even fought for her when I saw my dads put his hands on her, pushing her or what not.

Yeah, my sister ended up going down a self-destructive path, and she's currently failing at life,'bout to get all 3 of her kids taken away by the state and everything, but would I have changed her life's path by hitting her when she was disrespectful to my dad?

Nope.

Yes.






You could have made it worse.

 

[be23forlife]

the difference between him screaming at his sister is that it is towards his YOUNGER sister, not to his Mother. sibling argue with each other. Shouting at yourMom, who has devoted their life to raise you, is a whole different situation. Hitting her will hopefully allow his sister to realize how seriously messed up itis for her to disrespect her Mom. Hitting, in moderation, can justify how serious a situation is to kids cause then they'll realize how much they messedup. Thats the way it worked for me, anyways

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by 23ska909red02

I got abused as a child.

Does that count?

Like I said, putting your hands on someone else is disrespectful. I'm not against hitting my son, but wife and I are on the same page with this: it will be the LAST option we take, not the first (as is so often the case).

Hitting someone to discipline them should be the worst thing you can do to them, not the first thing. Corporal punishment should be the last option.

In an environment where the kid gets hit right off the bat, the reason nothing else works is because everything else is better than getting hit, and he already gets hit right off the bat, whether it's with a belt or a hand or whatever. It doesn't make sense to belt a kid one day for something, then the next day when he does something worse and you're thinking 'O.K., I'm going to not hit him, like everyone else is suggesting,' then try to give him a timeout. A timeout for something worst than what he did yesterday, and he got belted yesterday?

The structure of discipline is completely gone.

And this is coming from someone who was definitely hit as a child, studied Marriage and Family Therapy, and is currently raising a son. Granted, my son is only 14 months old, but still, those 3 things should count more than if I were just speaking from a vantage point that had never studied families and had zero experience raising a kid.

See that's why there's a difference between getting abused and getting discpline. From my experience, all the cats that got abused turnedinto G's. Because what's worse than getting hanged upside down and getting beat with a bat or getting sliced in the neck by your own dad??? These aretrue stories. This happened to my cousin and to some extent to me because I was raised by old school men ( who thought they were creating strength into theirboys.) My dad beat me hard twice in my life and I thought he did it just for the hell of it. However, my mom would hit me and then TELL me WHY I got it. Andlike dude said in this thread before, this applies to ONLY to kids. And when I mean kids, it can be like 21-23 too. After that, you have done the best you can,now it's their time to fall and learn.


Edit: I've seen this too, beating your kids to the point of oblivion will make them even scared to run to you for advice when they are f-ing up. I believein hitting your kids and then telling them WHY they got it. Ska you talking about every time they acting up small or big, it's an impulse on the parents tostart beating them. THAT is ABUSE. The WHY u hitting them is important. Parents automatically hit and think the discipline is over. You got to explain WHY.

 

[darthska]

Kicktionair:

---

I guess there is different opinions and methods of discipline. The one I am familiar is the physical one

It might be the one you're familiar with, but like a lot of people, you need to realize it's not the only method, it's the one that isthe easiest (Bam, just hit the person you're wanting to discipline, and you're done), and it's the least effective.

 

[nycknicks105]

Originally Posted by West2East

Cussing is disrespectful. The fact he did it in front of his mother is even more disrespectful. Screaming can be disrespectful and accomplishes nothing. He was basically doing what he was telling her not to do.

Here's the other thing. If she don't know any better than what is hitting her going to accomplish? What does that say about his mother and her parenting skills if by 12 she doesn't know any better? Come on! Yall gotta give kids more credit. It's like my older sister who tried to tell me a few days ago my nephew was too young at 21 months to learn the concept of waiting and being patient when my other nephew who is 3 months older had learned it at that age.

Did I ever get hit?

. It's why I'm against it when there are clearly other options.

I guess its how you look at it. Growing up it worked on me. I'm not saying I will do the samething to my children, like Ska said, it would bethe last option for them, def not the first.

 

[be23forlife]

Originally Posted by 23ska909red02

Kicktionair:

---

I guess there is different opinions and methods of discipline. The one I am familiar is the physical one

It might be the one you're familiar with, but like a lot of people, you need to realize it's not the only method, it's the one that is the easiest (Bam, just hit the person you're wanting to discipline, and you're done), and it's the least effective.


true...what you can do now is, explain to your sister why you hit her. FromThaTown's situation explained it best. His Dad would beat him for no apparentreason. But his Mom would beat him, and after explain why he got beat, to basically teach him a lesson. So clear it up with your sister as to why you hit her,cuz she was disrespectful....

 

[veryanalytical85]

Ska, and all others who are against using physical abuse as discipline.

I'm all for it but there are those kids who refuse to listen...regardless of what you tell them (or any other non-physical alternative you give them) as ameans of discipline.

So what will be the solution?