Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters vol. 4

[brokeballah]

1 summer my dad brought me out to D.R. Since day 2, i picked up this chick. Long story short within 2 weeks i was in there. So one day we're watching amovie, but you know how it is.. you just dont watch you wanna make the movie lol. So we get it crackin and 1 thing led to the next and before i knew it i pulldown her sponge bob panties ( no pedo i swear she was 18 ) and i proceeded to let my tounge do the walkin. Right when i felt some hair and lint in my mouth ilooked up and BAM!

i see my dad straight grillin us in SHOCK! Here i am tryna get the lint out my mouth and shes just straight up with her legs in the air.

I'm thinkin hes going to bring out the belt.. but to my surprise he went back into his room and BLASTED ESPN SPORTSCENTER LOL!

 

[Master Zik]

The last 4 pages are gold

like FML status

No comment on the homey with the blue balls........

JinKazama
I'm almost positive shorty must've had some scar, hair on her *******, or something nasty/more embarassing than hittin her head that shewould demand the lights to be off even after what happened

.

@ ya homey thinkin you be on some ruff sex steez

 

[kidflint13]

Originally Posted by BrokeBallah

1 summer my dad brought me out to D.R. Since day 2, i picked up this chick. Long story short within 2 weeks i was in there. So one day we're watching a movie, but you know how it is.. you just dont watch you wanna make the movie lol. So we get it crackin and 1 thing led to the next and before i knew it i pull down her sponge bob panties ( no pedo i swear she was 18 ) and i proceeded to let my tounge do the walkin. Right when i felt some hair and lint in my mouth i looked up and BAM!

i see my dad straight grillin us in SHOCK! Here i am tryna get the lint out my mouth and shes just straight up with her legs in the air.

I'm thinkin hes going to bring out the belt.. but to my surprise he went back into his room and BLASTED ESPN SPORTSCENTER LOL!

were you licking the chick or the couch

 

[jinkazama]

I'm almost positive shorty must've had some scar, hair on her *******, or something nasty/more embarassing than hittin her head that she would demand the lights to be off even after what happened

.

Nah son 'ole girl was straight. You know Iwasn't lettin her get in the sack before I checked out what she was workin with. She only made me hit the lights once I got her warmed up. Afterwards Idon't know...I really think she knocked herself silly or somethin' cause she emailed me like a few months later like..did we have sex...I can'tremember anything...did you wear a rubber...I swear the only thing that chick remembered was us gettin warmed up and the next morning.

 

[mcraptor]

Originally Posted by niCke1z

Originally Posted by bxbadboy90

Never the one for one night stands I went out with some friends to meet up with friends of friends.
Ran into an old acquaintance and things were popping.
Got her back to my place and just went at it. It's been a few years since using a condom, but felt it was appropriate.
Things went well, until she wanted me to bend her over.
Now, NT, doggy has been my kryptonite. It just gets me worked up and I just cannot last as long. Cool if it was with my girl, but def not with this current breezy.
But, whateves I got the condom on thought I could give it a go for at least a few minutes.
I bend her over and go to work. I am just riding, thinking the whole time that I must be the $#*@ for riding and lasting as long.
About 5 minutes in she turns her head around and looks at me and says, "what are you doing?"
What am I doing? Incredulous I thought. Then I looked down and realized I wasn't even in her.
I've been giving the air the good d for a good 5 minutes.
But, I try to be smooth and said, "Just warming up".
Still feel like a dumb ##* till this day.

Good recovery

 

[finnns2003]

at "giving the air the good d".

 

[datnggag]

Iight heres my story

Iight I posted this story on NT before but here it goes..So lets rewind to 2001 or 2002..im living in VA with my moms after HS..I didnt know anybody their so Ido what any other teenager did back in the day hit the AOL chatroom. so im chating up with this chick and i hit her with the A/s/l/P so she gives me theinfo..but no pic..so im like cool..describe yourself..shorty descibes herself.short a lil thick in the right places..(im not into skinny chicks but not FATchick eithers) long hair.so im like iight bet i can work with that we exchange numbers..we talk on the phone shorty has the :

voice, we did the phone bonething.so she is like tues is my birthday, I want you to smash..so im like bet..now mind you im a Virgin..so we schedule the time..so the way the complex wasset up..I could see who parked where..so im looking out the window waiting for shorty to come through..so i notice an unfamilair car pulling up to the windowso im like this must be shorty..so i do a last minute inspect of the living room..make sure I got 2 condoms in my back pocket..so when shorty knocks on thedoor. i look through the peephole.. SMFH she aint nothing how she described herself..yea she is thick in all the right places..if all the right places happensto be everywhere..but im like F it shorty drove along way..im in the mood lets get it poppin..So we sitting on the couch..talking chopping it up watchingsouthpark the movie..so i start nibbling on her ear (she told me thats her spot) so we start touching..shorty goes down..so then im like lets proceed tosmash..i take off shorty pants and from her mid calf to her ankles is ashy as hell like her car had flour buckets as the pedal and the brake..so i stop hit herwith the

and she is like"oh i was so nervous about coming over, i must have forgotten" so boom now that im looking at her..she isnt very moisturized she looking somethinglike a camels lips..but once again im like F it..i dont went this far..so i lay her down throw on the condom and proceed to attempt to smash..no matter what idid..shorty couldnt spread her legs..i just couldnt get it cracking so @ this point im like you know what this isnt gonna work..I popped both the condoms..andshorty is like forget them..im like hell no..so we back on the couch chillin by this time im ignoring shorty.im on aim..chillin..she watching tv..she is likeim hungry as hell..and goes in her jean jacket pocket and pulls out them soft oatmeal cookies with the cream in the middle

..im like where did that come from..so my homegirl came and knocked on my door..so i went outside to talk to her,and about 10 min later the fat chick comes andsays im leaving..so im like iight peace..i give her a hug and she told me shell talk to me later..so about 2 weeks later i see her @ the mall but she didntspot me..i bolted the other way...she sent me an email saying how she was @ the mall getting me a gift some phat farm outfit..shorty had MONEY..her pops passedaway and that tues she came to my house she turned 18..she finally got the check and wanted to buy me something

 

[retrojs10]

i was smashin in my ex car in a park at night and a cop pulled up and knocked on the window while i was smashin......@#%+ was not cool dude was like is thishow it gotta be yall didnt get a hotel...... cops crackin jokes in a f'd up moment FTL.........

 

[teflandon]

Originally Posted by Datnggag

Iight heres my story

Iight I posted this story on NT before but here it goes..So lets rewind to 2001 or 2002..im living in VA with my moms after HS..I didnt know anybody their so I do what any other teenager did back in the day hit the AOL chatroom. so im chating up with this chick and i hit her with the A/s/l/P so she gives me the info..but no pic..so im like cool..describe yourself..shorty descibes herself.short a lil thick in the right places..(im not into skinny chicks but not FAT chick eithers) long hair.so im like iight bet i can work with that we exchange numbers..we talk on the phone shorty has the :

voice, we did the phone bone thing.so she is like tues is my birthday, I want you to smash..so im like bet..now mind you im a Virgin..so we schedule the time..so the way the complex was set up..I could see who parked where..so im looking out the window waiting for shorty to come through..so i notice an unfamilair car pulling up to the window so im like this must be shorty..so i do a last minute inspect of the living room..make sure I got 2 condoms in my back pocket..so when shorty knocks on the door. i look through the peephole.. SMFH she aint nothing how she described herself..yea she is thick in all the right places..if all the right places happens to be everywhere..but im like F it shorty drove along way..im in the mood lets get it poppin..So we sitting on the couch..talking chopping it up watching southpark the movie..so i start nibbling on her ear (she told me thats her spot) so we start touching..shorty goes down..so then im like lets proceed to smash..i take off shorty pants and from her mid calf to her ankles is ashy as hell like her car had flour buckets as the pedal and the brake..so i stop hit her with the

and she is like "oh i was so nervous about coming over, i must have forgotten" so boom now that im looking at her..she isnt very moisturized she looking something like a camels lips..but once again im like F it..i dont went this far..so i lay her down throw on the condom and proceed to attempt to smash..no matter what i did..shorty couldnt spread her legs..i just couldnt get it cracking so @ this point im like you know what this isnt gonna work..I popped both the condoms..and shorty is like forget them..im like hell no..so we back on the couch chillin by this time im ignoring shorty.im on aim..chillin..she watching tv..she is like im hungry as hell..and goes in her jean jacket pocket and pulls out them soft oatmeal cookies with the cream in the middle

..im like where did that come from..so my homegirl came and knocked on my door..so i went outside to talk to her,and about 10 min later the fat chick comes and says im leaving..so im like iight peace..i give her a hug and she told me shell talk to me later..so about 2 weeks later i see her @ the mall but she didnt spot me..i bolted the other way...she sent me an email saying how she was @ the mall getting me a gift some phat farm outfit..shorty had MONEY..her pops passed away and that tues she came to my house she turned 18..she finally got the check and wanted to buy me something

 

[blaxoid]

GOLD

 

[bud dink]

I didnt think this thread would last as long as it did, so i will post mine. Back in like 06 i went to a party with mostly college kids (i was a junior at thetime) and it popped off like mixed drinks, everclear shots, BB's, and greens were all free. I dont know what it was that did it but i got twisted andstarted talking to this one girl like i aint never talked to a girl before like just spitting fire word to dylan. I somehow (mind you i am a virgin) get her ina room just me and her and i just started ripping off her clothes and before i knew it she was on top of me riding. I remember thinking man i done came in hereand got the finest %@# to let me smash raw. It was then somebody busted open the door and was like "what yall doing" "hey everybody look whatthey doing" I didnt even care i was on such a high. This went on for like an hour and slowly i started becoming more sober and getting glances at thischick. I realised this was not the finest chick there SHE WAS TURRIBLE like she had a hairy (()) and a bullring going through her nose and some busted %%@tatoos. O yeah lest you forget im doing this raw I started freaking out i was like watchout im bout to bust and faked like i did over the side of the bed. Iwalked out and everybody was like clapping and *%++. they were saying stuff like "thanks for taking one for the team" "she has to do someone atevery party" "Im glad it wasnt me" I was so emberassed but instead of leaving in shame the girl who was having the party was like can i comewith you to drop your friend off i was like yeah and got road head while i was driving with my friend in the car (no yo) I felt better after that.

 

[finnns2003]

Originally Posted by bud dink

I didnt think this thread would last as long as it did, so i will post mine. Back in like 06 i went to a party with mostly college kids (i was a junior at the time) and it popped off like mixed drinks, everclear shots, BB's, and greens were all free. I dont know what it was that did it but i got twisted and started talking to this one girl like i aint never talked to a girl before like just spitting fire word to dylan. I somehow (mind you i am a virgin) get her in a room just me and her and i just started ripping off her clothes and before i knew it she was on top of me riding. I remember thinking man i done came in here and got the finest $@$ to let me smash raw. It was then somebody busted open the door and was like "what yall doing" "hey everybody look what they doing" I didnt even care i was on such a high. This went on for like an hour and slowly i started becoming more sober and getting glances at this chick. I realised this was not the finest chick there SHE WAS TURRIBLE like she had a (()) and a bullring going through her nose and some busted @%$ tatoos. O yeah lest you forget im doing this raw I started freaking out i was like watchout im bout to bust and faked like i did over the side of the bed. I walked out and everybody was like clapping and @*#@. they were saying stuff like "thanks for taking one for the team" "she has to do someone at every party" "Im glad it wasnt me" I was so emberassed but instead of leaving in shame the girl who was having the party was like can i come with you to drop your friend off i was like yeah and got road head while i was driving with my friend in the car (no yo) I felt better after that.

damn

 

[got shoes]

Not mine:

I was probably 16, i was smashing my girlfriend like there was no tomorrow. My house was supposed to be empty the whole day. Then what do i hear? THE DOOR BEING UNLOCKED ! Just as im about to cum they come home so we have to stop. She gets dressed and slips out the back door. My mom then knocks on my door to tell me why she came home etc. Having blue balls i had to spank the money.....AND FAST. As im spanking the mo'fckin monkey my mom opens the door and i unleash my load on her blouse. Things between us have never been the same. Everytime the topic of penis's comes up during a family gathering, i run out of the room.

 

[xbiker47]

Originally Posted by got shoes

Not mine:

I was probably 16, i was smashing my girlfriend like there was no tomorrow. My house was supposed to be empty the whole day. Then what do i hear? THE DOOR BEING UNLOCKED ! Just as im about to cum they come home so we have to stop. She gets dressed and slips out the back door. My mom then knocks on my door to tell me why she came home etc. Having blue balls i had to spank the money.....AND FAST. As im spanking the mo'fckin monkey my mom opens the door and i unleash my load on her blouse. Things between us have never been the same. Everytime the topic of penis's comes up during a family gathering, i run out of the room.

x 100000000000000

 

[phillypac]

Originally Posted by TeflanDon

Originally Posted by Datnggag

Iight heres my story

Iight I posted this story on NT before but here it goes..So lets rewind to 2001 or 2002..im living in VA with my moms after HS..I didnt know anybody their so I do what any other teenager did back in the day hit the AOL chatroom. so im chating up with this chick and i hit her with the A/s/l/P so she gives me the info..but no pic..so im like cool..describe yourself..shorty descibes herself.short a lil thick in the right places..(im not into skinny chicks but not FAT chick eithers) long hair.so im like iight bet i can work with that we exchange numbers..we talk on the phone shorty has the :

voice, we did the phone bone thing.so she is like tues is my birthday, I want you to smash..so im like bet..now mind you im a Virgin..so we schedule the time..so the way the complex was set up..I could see who parked where..so im looking out the window waiting for shorty to come through..so i notice an unfamilair car pulling up to the window so im like this must be shorty..so i do a last minute inspect of the living room..make sure I got 2 condoms in my back pocket..so when shorty knocks on the door. i look through the peephole.. SMFH she aint nothing how she described herself..yea she is thick in all the right places..if all the right places happens to be everywhere..but im like F it shorty drove along way..im in the mood lets get it poppin..So we sitting on the couch..talking chopping it up watching southpark the movie..so i start nibbling on her ear (she told me thats her spot) so we start touching..shorty goes down..so then im like lets proceed to smash..i take off shorty pants and from her mid calf to her ankles is ashy as hell like her car had flour buckets as the pedal and the brake..so i stop hit her with the

and she is like "oh i was so nervous about coming over, i must have forgotten" so boom now that im looking at her..she isnt very moisturized she looking something like a camels lips..but once again im like F it..i dont went this far..so i lay her down throw on the condom and proceed to attempt to smash..no matter what i did..shorty couldnt spread her legs..i just couldnt get it cracking so @ this point im like you know what this isnt gonna work..I popped both the condoms..and shorty is like forget them..im like hell no..so we back on the couch chillin by this time im ignoring shorty.im on aim..chillin..she watching tv..she is like im hungry as hell..and goes in her jean jacket pocket and pulls out them soft oatmeal cookies with the cream in the middle

..im like where did that come from..so my homegirl came and knocked on my door..so i went outside to talk to her,and about 10 min later the fat chick comes and says im leaving..so im like iight peace..i give her a hug and she told me shell talk to me later..so about 2 weeks later i see her @ the mall but she didnt spot me..i bolted the other way...she sent me an email saying how she was @ the mall getting me a gift some phat farm outfit..shorty had MONEY..her pops passed away and that tues she came to my house she turned 18..she finally got the check and wanted to buy me something

 

[mvplikekobe24]

Originally Posted by got shoes

Not mine:

I was probably 16, i was smashing my girlfriend like there was no tomorrow. My house was supposed to be empty the whole day. Then what do i hear? THE DOOR BEING UNLOCKED ! Just as im about to cum they come home so we have to stop. She gets dressed and slips out the back door. My mom then knocks on my door to tell me why she came home etc. Having blue balls i had to spank the money.....AND FAST. As im spanking the mo'fckin monkey my mom opens the door and i unleash my load on her blouse. Things between us have never been the same. Everytime the topic of penis's comes up during a family gathering, i run out of the room.

that cant be real.... and why would penises come up during a family gathering

 

[sc415]

Originally Posted by MVPlikeKobe24

Originally Posted by got shoes

Not mine:

I was probably 16, i was smashing my girlfriend like there was no tomorrow. My house was supposed to be empty the whole day. Then what do i hear? THE DOOR BEING UNLOCKED ! Just as im about to cum they come home so we have to stop. She gets dressed and slips out the back door. My mom then knocks on my door to tell me why she came home etc. Having blue balls i had to spank the money.....AND FAST. As im spanking the mo'fckin monkey my mom opens the door and i unleash my load on her blouse. Things between us have never been the same. Everytime the topic of penis's comes up during a family gathering, i run out of the room.

that cant be real.... and why would penises come up during a family gathering

damn..that must be awkward

 

[nawghtyhare]

while messing around with this girl at job corps we decide to have sex at night in the field. we go to our rooms get blankets then head to the field. we laythe blankets down, my dumb @## decides to take off my shoes pants and boxers all off so all i have on is a t shirt and condom. she on top riding me. we layingon a cover and theres a cover on top of us(she one of them females who likes the lights off or doesnt want u to look at her undress until shes under the cover)well while she riding i notice lights moving through the covers but i also hear a helicopter passing by so i just assume its the helicopter lights. then all ofa sudden i hear "whoop whoop" we through the covers off its a damn police car circling us in the field with a big @## light beam. she jumps up pullsup her sweats and sits on the bench. im searching for my boxers looking for them while her @## just sitting there. im getting irritated and cant find nothingbut my shoes. the cop car drives off. idk why he didnt come and say anything but i was glad. %%%# he probably saw that i couldnt find my pants and boxers.Anyway after he leaves i find my boxers and pants which are under the cover we were laying on


Another time me and this female got a hotel im killin her vagina all night not carin how hard im hitiin it or nothin. im straight feelin myself. well after acouple of sessions im like give me head so i can get hard and continue. she like alright. you know how some femaes can give head and some cant but u like badhead is better than no head. Well thats her she would do something i like and i start to get hard. but then she try to change it up and experiment and it wouldjust kill the moment and make me go soft. and then on top of that i could tell her mouth was getting tired cause she was using her hand more. Well while usingher hands she going all rough on it like she playing marvel versus capcom 2 at the arcades and before i could tell her to slow down she puts it in her mouth soi sit back chill cool and relaxed but i still feel that slight irritation. but she gets me hard so im like what ever. i throw on a condom start workin it. shefeeling it but im not. its irritaing my penis but i keep going. im thinking that maybe its cause of the condom and that we been having too much sex. Well shegets hers i fake it just so i can get a break cause its really starting to hurt. i go to the bathroom to take off the condom and inspect. I look at my %%%# itsgot nail marks all on it from when she was doing her hand/mouth thing. its got 4 marks in it and the area around it looks red and irritated. Im spookedwondering if its gonna get infected or something. i get dressed go to the gas station across the street and by some neo-sporen(sp?) Needless to say that wasthe end of my sex session

 

[overtime626]

so let me tell my story, i'm at a party twisted as hell just generally having a good time until i run into to this old acquaintance looking good as hell inthe party, so we gets to dancing and getting close and before long im spitting that g in her ear

, so she seems to be with it and the party winds downand she's like you should let me drive you home, i'm like cool but in the back of my mind i'm like, she's innebriated, she shouldn't bedriving. So we leave the party anyway because i'm too twisted tell her otherwise, and we gets to talking in the car while she's swervin mind you, andshe gets to telling me how her state trooper dad is straight gestapo status but he's working 3rd shift so she can do whatever the #!#% she wants because hedon't get home until about 10am, then she suggest we should chill at her crib for a little bit, and i'm like cool it's only 2am, i'm twisted,and i'm trying to lengthen this night anyway. So we show up to her crib and she pops belly

in the dvd and we gets to watching and she whispers in myear, I want you to #!#% me bim, and i'm like

you ain't got to tell me twice. So i take of my clothes dumb quick like they're on fire and igets to smashin and this broad is screaming at the top of her lungs but i dont care cause i love that *!+% and just keep on smashing anyway and then all of asudden i hear this thunderous bang bang bang on the door and then a deep voice says what going in there Stephanie, and then the door just swings open and lowand behold it's none other than her state trooper stepdad standing there looking pissed as hell and i'm mid stroke, this dude is twice my size at leastand im 6'0" 200 btw. I'm shook as hell so i grab my gear off the floor and run for the window, so i'm scaling down the side of this girlshouse butt naked running for my life

I ended up running and getting dressed at the same time and then i had to walk home too, i lived all the way on theother side of town at the time too

i was walking miles homes, MILES!

 

[finnns2003]

^

state trooper step pops

 

[psykho]

Originally Posted by overtime626

so let me tell my story, i'm at a party twisted as hell just generally having a good time until i run into to this old acquaintance looking good as hell in the party, so we gets to dancing and getting close and before long im spitting that g in her ear

, so she seems to be with it and the party winds down and she's like you should let me drive you home, i'm like cool but in the back of my mind i'm like, she's innebriated, she shouldn't be driving. So we leave the party anyway because i'm too twisted tell her otherwise, and we gets to talking in the car while she's swervin mind you, and she gets to telling me how her state trooper dad is straight gestapo status but he's working 3rd shift so she can do whatever the #!#% she wants because he don't get home until about 10am, then she suggest we should chill at her crib for a little bit, and i'm like cool it's only 2am, i'm twisted, and i'm trying to lengthen this night anyway. So we show up to her crib and she pops belly

in the dvd and we gets to watching and she whispers in my ear, I want you to #!#% me bim, and i'm like

you ain't got to tell me twice. So i take of my clothes dumb quick like they're on fire and i gets to smashin and this broad is screaming at the top of her lungs but i dont care cause i love that *!+% and just keep on smashing anyway and then all of a sudden i hear this thunderous bang bang bang on the door and then a deep voice says what going in there Stephanie, and then the door just swings open and low and behold it's none other than her state trooper stepdad standing there looking pissed as hell and i'm mid stroke, this dude is twice my size at least and im 6'0" 200 btw. I'm shook as hell so i grab my gear off the floor and run for the window, so i'm scaling down the side of this girls house butt naked running for my life

I ended up running and getting dressed at the same time and then i had to walk home too, i lived all the way on the other side of town at the time too

i was walking miles homes, MILES!

Sucks dude

 

[Lizakers]

I sprayed cherry flavored Chloraseptic on my wood thinking it would help me last longer

at my boy Matt who gave me that wonderful nugget of advice

SMH at myself thinkin it would taste like cherry and help me last for hours

young dumb full of %*#%

 

[an dee 51o]

Originally Posted by Lizaker4Lizife

I sprayed cherry flavored Chloraseptic on my wood thinking it would help me last longer

at my boy Matt who gave me that wonderful nugget of advice

SMH at myself thinkin it would taste like cherry and help me last for hours

young dumb full of %*#%

Your anger has me

.

 

[Lizakers]

Originally Posted by Crumbs

Originally Posted by airmaxpenny1

Originally Posted by MILLION DOLLAR STACKS

Originally Posted by MILLION DOLLAR STACKS

Originally Posted by JayADiCt92

Originally Posted by airmaxpenny1

When I got home I stripped naked and got on all 4's so my balls would just dangle. They hurt that bad.

AYO what the hell

what kind of broke back mountain type #%!$ is that? i cant stop laughing if they hurt that bad u should have just beat your meat and went to sleep.

Son I was doubled over in pain on the Subway, and when I tried spanking the pain only increased. Sometimes you just need to let it hang

how you on all 4s thought...dont they hang naturally...

straight comedy

 

[D Fly]

I think I told this story in the last thread but I'll tell it again:


I had to be like 14-15 when this happened..I was messing around with this girl in my neighborhood one day and all was going well..then she wanted me to godown. i'm like sure why not, right?


Well after about 5 minutes, she let out the most foul, disgusting, vomit inducing fart I had ever experienced..and my face caught all of it.

I swear I wasgonna punch her in the stomach. I told her to leave..I couldn't even continue after that.

Worst part is..the smell was like..wrapped around my head like a cloud of death for the rest of the day.