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this thread is the greatest
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Originally Posted by Mr DragonFly Jones
I think I told this story in the last thread but I'll tell it again:
I had to be like 14-15 when this happened..I was messing around with this girl in my neighborhood one day and all was going well..then she wanted me to go down. i'm like sure why not, right?
Well after about 5 minutes, she let out the most foul, disgusting, vomit inducing fart I had ever experienced..and my face caught all of it.I swear I was gonna punch her in the stomach. I told her to leave..I couldn't even continue after that.
Worst part is..the smell was like..wrapped around my head like a cloud of death for the rest of the day.
Originally Posted by So Uptempo
this thread is the greatest
Originally Posted by Mr DragonFly Jones
I think I told this story in the last thread but I'll tell it again:
I had to be like 14-15 when this happened..I was messing around with this girl in my neighborhood one day and all was going well..then she wanted me to go down. i'm like sure why not, right?
Well after about 5 minutes, she let out the most foul, disgusting, vomit inducing fart I had ever experienced..and my face caught all of it.I swear I was gonna punch her in the stomach. I told her to leave..I couldn't even continue after that.
Worst part is..the smell was like..wrapped around my head like a cloud of death for the rest of the day.
Originally Posted by xbiker47
Originally Posted by So Uptempo
this thread is the greatest
it really is
anyone have a link to embarrassing sexual encounters vol 1??
Originally Posted by iBlink
Originally Posted by xbiker47
Originally Posted by So Uptempo
this thread is the greatest
it really is
anyone have a link to embarrassing sexual encounters vol 1??
Vol. 1 wasn't so great, but vol. 2 from early '08 was ******edly funny. It topped this one by a long shot. I had many sore ribs and teary eyes from reading that one.
Originally Posted by raptors29
Originally Posted by Mr DragonFly Jones
I think I told this story in the last thread but I'll tell it again:
I had to be like 14-15 when this happened..I was messing around with this girl in my neighborhood one day and all was going well..then she wanted me to go down. i'm like sure why not, right?
Well after about 5 minutes, she let out the most foul, disgusting, vomit inducing fart I had ever experienced..and my face caught all of it.I swear I was gonna punch her in the stomach. I told her to leave..I couldn't even continue after that.
Worst part is..the smell was like..wrapped around my head like a cloud of death for the rest of the day.What that thang taste like?
Originally Posted by MILLION DOLLAR STACKS
Originally Posted by rck2sactown
I dunno if this exactly embarrassing, but the first time i had sex I had to go out and buy condoms for the first time...........
me being Asian and succumbing to stereotypes and being somewhat naive, just bought regular ole' Trojan cuz i thought I was packing small. No I never got the opportunity to check my schlong size with other dudes so I didn't know.
Anyways fast forward to the next day, shawty comes over; the moment comes for me to slip on the rubber and I'm having the hardest time ever putting it on. She even tries to help me, and finally she peeps up "this doesn't fit you, you're too big." i slight smirk came to my face. I was slightly embarrassed to tell her I was a virgin and had no idea what to buy... We finished up raw....The next day she brought over a box of magnums and its been a wrap since (no pun intended)
Your friend is a fool. thats one of those things you keep to yourself.Originally Posted by datruth92803
He was getting some Top from his jumpoff in his whip so Chick tells him let her know when he bout to Shoot cause she aint taking it the mouth well he tried to get slick and not tell her so he starts to Shoot she backs uo grabs his joint and tilts it towards him he shot in his own eyes and had it on his chin. He told us this story today and I coudnt help but post that.
Originally Posted by JayADiCt92
Originally Posted by airmaxpenny1
When I got home I stripped naked and got on all 4's so my balls would just dangle. They hurt that bad.
AYO what the hell
Originally Posted by datruth92803
two days later he came in my room talking about i want the pink jacket and any pink panties you may own We dont play that in this house to this day i dont know if he was being serious...
Originally Posted by Mr DragonFly Jones
I think I told this story in the last thread but I'll tell it again:
I had to be like 14-15 when this happened..I was messing around with this girl in my neighborhood one day and all was going well..then she wanted me to go down. i'm like sure why not, right?
Well after about 5 minutes, she let out the most foul, disgusting, vomit inducing fart I had ever experienced..and my face caught all of it.I swear I was gonna punch her in the stomach. I told her to leave..I couldn't even continue after that.
Worst part is..the smell was like..wrapped around my head like a cloud of death for the rest of the day.
Originally Posted by JordanHead2
Your friend is a fool. thats one of those things you keep to yourself.Originally Posted by datruth92803
He was getting some Top from his jumpoff in his whip so Chick tells him let her know when he bout to Shoot cause she aint taking it the mouth well he tried to get slick and not tell her so he starts to Shoot she backs uo grabs his joint and tilts it towards him he shot in his own eyes and had it on his chin. He told us this story today and I coudnt help but post that.
Originally Posted by JordanHead2
Your friend is a fool. thats one of those things you keep to yourself.Originally Posted by datruth92803
He was getting some Top from his jumpoff in his whip so Chick tells him let her know when he bout to Shoot cause she aint taking it the mouth well he tried to get slick and not tell her so he starts to Shoot she backs uo grabs his joint and tilts it towards him he shot in his own eyes and had it on his chin. He told us this story today and I coudnt help but post that.
Originally Posted by datruth92803
I got yall so I was getting it in with my girl at the time and I was going in Raw i thought it was the thing to do at the time Smh @ myself so Im bout to Bust so i pulls out and aims for the Tiddays well I missed and shot in her eye and it was a lot too like what u see in those physical education videos on the net she was crying and carrying on i had to walk out the room cause i was dying laughing she made me go to the walmart get eye wash. We carpooled so the next morning on our way to work she was giving me the silent treatment and I was telling her she got some dried up on her eye lid and her eye was still pink. Her girlfriends noticed and told her but only after they roasted her so she went on lunch to the dr. He prescribed her a Eyepatch for 2 weeks. So for 2 weeks my chic was walking round looking like Jack sparrow..Needless to say i was cut off but the jokes was well worth it. When I was 19 I was smashing a chic who lived about 8 blocks from me both her parents worked nights so i would sneak out my house at Midnight to go over there so one night we getting it popping I loose track of time and her dad comes home on his lunch break. Her dad was a security guard big buff ugly dude look like dude on everybody hates chris so im scarred so she tells me hide in the closet her pops falls asleep on the couch by the door. I was in the closet for 3 hours from 3am to 6am she fell asleep as well so i pop out the closet wake her up so she can let me out I get to the door and its Pouring Rain. I have no umbrella or jacket with a hike ahead of me its still dark so shorty offers up her baby phat jacket so i figure its probably a 20 minute trip on foot i can be home before anyone sees me Get u to my house as i come in my mom is coming out I have on basket ball shorts a white t and Pink babyfat bomber on. My Mom gave me a look that would make medusa blush. She never asked me where i was coming from but she told my dad something cause two days later he came in my room talking about i want the pink jacket and any pink panties you may own We dont play that in this house to this day i dont know if he was being serious... Last one this didnt happen to me but to my Homeboy.. He was getting some Top from his jumpoff in his whip so Chick tells him let her know when he bout to Shoot cause she aint taking it the mouth well he tried to get slick and not tell her so he starts to Shoot she backs uo grabs his joint and tilts it towards him he shot in his own eyes and had it on his chin. He told us this story today and I coudnt help but post that.
Originally Posted by Lizaker4Lizife
I sprayed cherry flavored Chloraseptic on my wood thinking it would help me last longer
at my boy Matt who gave me that wonderful nugget of advice
SMH at myself thinkin it would taste like cherry and help me last for hours
young dumb full of %*#%