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^^^ My stupid self would have been yelling, "It's not what it looks like"
Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters vol. 4
U
User 37837
Guest
Originally Posted by FreezeTag
@ you not letting your mother in the room.
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I have one, it's not embarrassing but the ending was funny
I'm over this chicks apartment watching tv, tv turns to groping, groping turns to sex. After it's over, I get up to throw away the condom in this trashbag. Only problem is the trash bag didn't have any trash in it, it turned out to be a trash bag full of her roommates clothes
After that, her roommate would always give me the dirtiest looks
I'm over this chicks apartment watching tv, tv turns to groping, groping turns to sex. After it's over, I get up to throw away the condom in this trashbag. Only problem is the trash bag didn't have any trash in it, it turned out to be a trash bag full of her roommates clothes
After that, her roommate would always give me the dirtiest looks
quik1987
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Originally Posted by ebpo
My most embarrasing time was when I was going to "go at it" with 2 girls for the first time. You know how it is, you hear about it, you see it () but it was my turn now! So we're in my bed, we're starting it, touching each other, then one of the girl decided to go down, while the other was going to the bathroom ( girls are ALWAYS going to the damn bathroom loll)... Unfortunatly, i was to excite and cameWhen the other girl got out of the bathroom, she didn't say anything but she was like "man how long have I been in there"... We never talk about it again!
Aw snap that reminds me!
First year in University,
These girl had been drinking and discussing who they would have a threesome with. So they come find me on my floors lobby, and they whisper in my ear theyplans. I walk down the hallway, broad in each arm. Dudes that saw me were salty as hell. My roommate and his gf are in the room with the lights off, Ididn't give a F. I wasn't gonna let him ruin this moment. Him and his girl must that thought I was the most pimp dude in the universe.
I got them both in Bed, I'm making out with them, they making out with each other, we start take pieces of clothing off, then one of the girl was like Igotta go to the bathroom, whatever, me and the other girl start to go at it, 3 minutes later. Other girl comes out, "uhhhhh..... I threw up all over yourwashroom floor"
Kills the moment and my dream
will probably never get closer to a threesome ever again.
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quik........ im ridiculously sad for you my dude.
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Originally Posted by yep617
keep in mind i was really drunk and high off powder when this occurred: back in high school it was the end of a heavy partying night and i was feeling very giving that night, so i went down on my girl and got all into it, then had sex and went to sleep.
the next morning shes like "you know you ate my butthole last night?
i was like
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Ol' Ricky Bobby not knowing what to do with ya hands %%@ dude
So many classics in here.
1) Hit my girl a couple days before without a rubber but she wasn't on the pill. Pulled out but thought I may have had a bit in there and paranoid as HELLI told her to grab that plan B.
Well the plan B throws off menstruation cycle so fast forward to awkward moment. Laundry day and I was washing my bedding so I just had my mattress bare, butwe were so horny we had to get it done..
Smashed... pulled out... blood...all over my +!@*@+# $600 mattress.
Oh well...
2) Smashing some girl... told her to get on her knees so I could hit it doggy.
It was dark but all I could smell was some badddddd cooking I thought it was some other apartment cooking up a storm.
On recollection of my thoughts.....
SMH
Someone told that story about his jump off doming and not wanting him to bust in her mouth, and it ended up all over his chest.
Real talk.. don't laugh at this but every girl I've been with who went down on me has swallowed. Where do you shoot if she doesn't want it in hermouth
. Some help a guy out before I have a REAL embarrassing story for this thread hahaha
So many classics in here.
1) Hit my girl a couple days before without a rubber but she wasn't on the pill. Pulled out but thought I may have had a bit in there and paranoid as HELLI told her to grab that plan B.
Well the plan B throws off menstruation cycle so fast forward to awkward moment. Laundry day and I was washing my bedding so I just had my mattress bare, butwe were so horny we had to get it done..
Smashed... pulled out... blood...all over my +!@*@+# $600 mattress.
Oh well...
2) Smashing some girl... told her to get on her knees so I could hit it doggy.
It was dark but all I could smell was some badddddd cooking I thought it was some other apartment cooking up a storm.
On recollection of my thoughts.....
Someone told that story about his jump off doming and not wanting him to bust in her mouth, and it ended up all over his chest.
Real talk.. don't laugh at this but every girl I've been with who went down on me has swallowed. Where do you shoot if she doesn't want it in hermouth
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Originally Posted by brettTHEjett
every girl I've been with who went down on me has swallowed. Where do you shoot if she doesn't want it in her mouth
+1
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this happened last night..
had sex like 20 times.. from about 11 pm to 4:30 am non stop... first time we smashed i nutted after 2 mins, im like sorry i got excited.. but lets do itagain, so we do it, she nuts 3 times before i had to bust again..
...
after having sex for about 4 hrs straight we sleep, then had to wake up early in the morning cuz i had to take her back home for church.. but before we leave,i smashed... i nutted the first 2 mins .. cleaned up then went at it again.. i bust again after 3 mins ...
im like !%#$.. she goes LOL you busted 2x within 5 mins.. impressive.
had sex like 20 times.. from about 11 pm to 4:30 am non stop... first time we smashed i nutted after 2 mins, im like sorry i got excited.. but lets do itagain, so we do it, she nuts 3 times before i had to bust again..
after having sex for about 4 hrs straight we sleep, then had to wake up early in the morning cuz i had to take her back home for church.. but before we leave,i smashed... i nutted the first 2 mins .. cleaned up then went at it again.. i bust again after 3 mins ...
im like !%#$.. she goes LOL you busted 2x within 5 mins.. impressive.
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^ Thats hella smashing
soltheman
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Thumper?Originally Posted by bluexsneakerhead
same thing happened to my boyfriend & i twice
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This just happened last summer.
Luckily I had already been with shorty a couple times already, but this particular evening she was denying me access saying she's trying to get her lifecorrect or something along those lines. I really wasn't trying to hear it so I just went for her "spot" and started kissing and sucking and allthat. In seconds she was sliding everything off. We had always used protection before but I was too ready to go so I said F it and went in. Even with a rubberI could tell she had some good (()) so I don't know what convinced me to go in raw knowing I hadn't had sex in a few days. No lie I slid in and it wasa wrap. I don't even think I got one pump off. I pulled out real real fast and was like "ma chill, we shouldn't be doing this"! She grabbedme like "nah, c'mon" due to me getting her wet and all but I pushed her away and hit her with another excuse while trying to hide me squirtingeverywhere. It got all over the bed and I'm not sure but I think she realized what happened cause she had this smile on her face just staring at theceiling. Dude, I wish I could've left the earth at that very moment.
Luckily I had already been with shorty a couple times already, but this particular evening she was denying me access saying she's trying to get her lifecorrect or something along those lines. I really wasn't trying to hear it so I just went for her "spot" and started kissing and sucking and allthat. In seconds she was sliding everything off. We had always used protection before but I was too ready to go so I said F it and went in. Even with a rubberI could tell she had some good (()) so I don't know what convinced me to go in raw knowing I hadn't had sex in a few days. No lie I slid in and it wasa wrap. I don't even think I got one pump off. I pulled out real real fast and was like "ma chill, we shouldn't be doing this"! She grabbedme like "nah, c'mon" due to me getting her wet and all but I pushed her away and hit her with another excuse while trying to hide me squirtingeverywhere. It got all over the bed and I'm not sure but I think she realized what happened cause she had this smile on her face just staring at theceiling. Dude, I wish I could've left the earth at that very moment.
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wats wit the short ceilings? u live in a dwarf house?Originally Posted by iBlink
Volume 2 was epic. Pics and allI remember dude who said he got beat up by shorty's brother and father after she said he was weak.
So let's get into it.
A few months back I was with my ex. She was feeling hella excited, tombout let me get on top. So she does her thing and I notice how ridiculously close her head is to my ceiling. I try to tell her to take it easy and stuff, but she says why, you can't handle it? As I'm about to speak again, she smacks her head on the roof hard as hell. All I hear is a thud. Shorty falls back looking dazed and all. She's like "I'm good" and tries to get things going again, and as she straddles me, she faints.
I'm there tripping like, do I take her to the hospital? Is she dead? So I lay her on the bed and tell myself if she doesn't get up in an hour, I'll take her to the hospital. She wakes up and I'm joking around like "I thought you died" She hits me with "Please, it wasn't that good now". Had me like
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Just wrote her on Myspace:
Lol!... no need for an apology... damn, that was almost a year ago.. Time flies!!!... we shoulda hung out more!!! Your always finding some off the wall @%*$ on the internet!!
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Dom Boogie
Date: Apr 20, 2009 2:02 PM
Yo I was reading this article online about people's most embarassing sexual encounters and whatnot. SOme of that stuff was hilarious but it just reminded me that I never apologized about my wack performance that one summer night last year lol. I was never really sure if you knew what happened but I was embarassed just the same. As always, your fault tho'
DOM.
iblink
Banned
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Peep the pics I posted on page 2 fam. My room at mom duke's house is on an incline... attic style.Originally Posted by SiG21
wats wit the short ceilings? u live in a dwarf house?Originally Posted by iBlink
Volume 2 was epic. Pics and allI remember dude who said he got beat up by shorty's brother and father after she said he was weak.
So let's get into it.
A few months back I was with my ex. She was feeling hella excited, tombout let me get on top. So she does her thing and I notice how ridiculously close her head is to my ceiling. I try to tell her to take it easy and stuff, but she says why, you can't handle it? As I'm about to speak again, she smacks her head on the roof hard as hell. All I hear is a thud. Shorty falls back looking dazed and all. She's like "I'm good" and tries to get things going again, and as she straddles me, she faints.
I'm there tripping like, do I take her to the hospital? Is she dead? So I lay her on the bed and tell myself if she doesn't get up in an hour, I'll take her to the hospital. She wakes up and I'm joking around like "I thought you died" She hits me with "Please, it wasn't that good now". Had me like
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Originally Posted by Illuztrious
Just wrote her on Myspace:
Lol!... no need for an apology... damn, that was almost a year ago.. Time flies!!!... we shoulda hung out more!!! Your always finding some off the wall @%*$ on the internet!!
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Dom Boogie
Date: Apr 20, 2009 2:02 PM
Yo I was reading this article online about people's most embarassing sexual encounters and whatnot. SOme of that stuff was hilarious but it just reminded me that I never apologized about my wack performance that one summer night last year lol. I was never really sure if you knew what happened but I was embarassed just the same. As always, your fault tho'
DOM.
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not as embarrassing as it is funny but anyhow:
i belive senior yr in highschool im getting it in with shorty at the time...we were in my room..parents home sometime in the afternoon ... one of my boys atthe time had a tendency of coming over un-announced ...my old apt had no lock on the door so ...boy shows up ..moms open the door...i hear that familiar voiceheading over...im almost at that point like #!* %*+! this ...dude straight burst in i jump off cover the chick and ...my gun goes off...ends up missing him bysome inches ..he screams "oh #!*" runs out and my door was fully shot up ...
i was mad at the time...but after a bit was rolling for the attempted friendly fire
i belive senior yr in highschool im getting it in with shorty at the time...we were in my room..parents home sometime in the afternoon ... one of my boys atthe time had a tendency of coming over un-announced ...my old apt had no lock on the door so ...boy shows up ..moms open the door...i hear that familiar voiceheading over...im almost at that point like #!* %*+! this ...dude straight burst in i jump off cover the chick and ...my gun goes off...ends up missing him bysome inches ..he screams "oh #!*" runs out and my door was fully shot up ...
i was mad at the time...but after a bit was rolling for the attempted friendly fire
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too drunk to get it up
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I got a quick funny story, ol girl was waiting for the money shot, I was strokin like Tiger woods, and I was goin fast she sittin there waiting on her knees, Iwas finna bust so i grabbed her head as i did it i busted her lip with my fist on some lex steele *+*@.
ol girl lip swole up man I was so hurt.
ccb302
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found the 2 stories i posted two seperate threads so i just copied and paste
1st story :mine happened when i went over this chick's house and she wasnt trying to get loose because her son didnt wanna go to sleep. so i finally talkedher into it and smashed while lil man was in the playpen looking right at me! yo was lookin like "@*% is he doin to my mom" its was crazy. thatcouldnt have been my baby mother i would've killed her!
2nd story: i was smashing this one chick from the back (on a hot summer day) and by the 10th stroke i caught a whiff of her butt and was like
iswear it hit me like a ton of bricks. i got soft and she asked "what happened???" i told her i was nervous about my peoples coming home and told hershe had to leave it was terrible!
1st story :mine happened when i went over this chick's house and she wasnt trying to get loose because her son didnt wanna go to sleep. so i finally talkedher into it and smashed while lil man was in the playpen looking right at me! yo was lookin like "@*% is he doin to my mom" its was crazy. thatcouldnt have been my baby mother i would've killed her!
2nd story: i was smashing this one chick from the back (on a hot summer day) and by the 10th stroke i caught a whiff of her butt and was like
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thats not something u share!Originally Posted by Crank Lucas
over exaggerated about my length to a chick, had no condom, had to walk out to the pharmacy real quick
was staring at the shelf, I was like man if I dont return with some magnums Imma embarrass myself, this chick thinks Im packing a ruler
so I copped a magnum, getting ahead of myself as always, got back and slipped it on
yea, SLIPPED , my junk just fell in there, so much wasted space, it was like renting a home with a pool house knowing dam well you cant swim
I kept stalling saying wait Im not fully erect yet, but of course I was lying, the intercourse was weird, almost bothersome, it was like wearing a extra long sock and folding it under your foot.
but till this day my magnums stay baggy
Originally Posted by phillypac
Originally Posted by iBlink
I remember dude who said he got beat up by shorty's brother and father after she said he was weak.
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Originally Posted by kidUFC
this happened last night..
had sex like 20 times.. from about 11 pm to 4:30 am non stop... first time we smashed i nutted after 2 mins, im like sorry i got excited.. but lets do it again, so we do it, she nuts 3 times before i had to bust again.....
after having sex for about 4 hrs straight we sleep, then had to wake up early in the morning cuz i had to take her back home for church.. but before we leave, i smashed... i nutted the first 2 mins .. cleaned up then went at it again.. i bust again after 3 mins ...
im like !%#$.. she goes LOL you busted 2x within 5 mins.. impressive.
My first time was similar.
So, what I was going real slow and she was diggin' it.
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I was getting it crazy from behind. i guess dude was REALLY grabbing on the cheeks...idk what the cause was really but somehow a bunch of air got in there.When we were done i went to lay down and out came a queef. OMGZ. I'm sure i turned every shade of red a face could turn. This was with my ex who i'veknown for a long time so he was just like "whoa"
and welaughed. If it was anyone else i'd probably cry or something and never call them.
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Back in HS
I was messing with this chick. I had no condom and was all scared so I had the brilliant idea of suggesting anal. Well as Im trying to stick my pipi into thehole..... my d will bend and it will not go in at all. I thought I broke my boner but I was cool.
Eventually I managed to get it in, but being un experienced.... (thinking anal was as easy as the pronos) I had no idea my plan would soon be tarnished. Atfirst I was like "yes!" +1 for anal, but soon my +1 turned my score down -10
As I got it into the hole I soon got a scent coming from the area of the action. My joy soon turned into misery. I smelled dookie....... I look down and myunit has brown all over it. I don't know if chick pooped on me or something but I my baby blue Polo also had dookie stains on it..... it was a mess.
SO there I am with dookie all over my shirt and penis. Just looking like "what just happened" I ask girl if she pooped on me and she sai shedidn't know, the only response I go t was "I will wash your shirt"
I said no thanks Im gonna burn it. To make things even worst.... I had to ride the train for like 1 hour with my penis covered with traces of dookie
I was messing with this chick. I had no condom and was all scared so I had the brilliant idea of suggesting anal. Well as Im trying to stick my pipi into thehole..... my d will bend and it will not go in at all. I thought I broke my boner but I was cool.
Eventually I managed to get it in, but being un experienced.... (thinking anal was as easy as the pronos) I had no idea my plan would soon be tarnished. Atfirst I was like "yes!" +1 for anal, but soon my +1 turned my score down -10
As I got it into the hole I soon got a scent coming from the area of the action. My joy soon turned into misery. I smelled dookie....... I look down and myunit has brown all over it. I don't know if chick pooped on me or something but I my baby blue Polo also had dookie stains on it..... it was a mess.
SO there I am with dookie all over my shirt and penis. Just looking like "what just happened" I ask girl if she pooped on me and she sai shedidn't know, the only response I go t was "I will wash your shirt"
I said no thanks Im gonna burn it. To make things even worst.... I had to ride the train for like 1 hour with my penis covered with traces of dookie
