Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters vol. 4

[socaking]

Wow man that sucks, especially when you were just 15.
DAMN, how the hell do you get community service, probation, ANDjuvie time for tresspassing at 15. They coundlt give you a warning seeing as howyou not a bad kid and all? +@@* I would be pissed if I was your mom to.......

EDIT....

AND house arrest? +@*?? Am i overreacting here?

 

[ogbobbyjohnson773]

Originally Posted by nawghtyhare

came back later that night to smash but pops opens the window with gun

Did he tell you to drop the gun?

 

[ogbobbyjohnson773]

Originally Posted by Master Zik

Originally Posted by Illuztrious

This just happened last summer.

Luckily I had already been with shorty a couple times already, but this particular evening she was denying me access saying she's trying to get her life correct or something along those lines. I really wasn't trying to hear it so I just went for her "spot" and started kissing and sucking and all that. In seconds she was sliding everything off. We had always used protection before but I was too ready to go so I said F it and went in. Even with a rubber I could tell she had some good (()) so I don't know what convinced me to go in raw knowing I hadn't had sex in a few days. No lie I slid in and it was a wrap. I don't even think I got one pump off. I pulled out real real fast and was like "ma chill, we shouldn't be doing this"! She grabbed me like "nah, c'mon" due to me getting her wet and all but I pushed her away and hit her with another excuse while trying to hide me squirting everywhere. It got all over the bed and I'm not sure but I think she realized what happened cause she had this smile on her face just staring at the ceiling. Dude, I wish I could've left the earth at that very moment.

I don't know what I would've done except for just keep pumping in there. Yall gotta switch it around like u aint stimulating me to cover up the fact that you came quick

The "ma chill, we shouldn't be doing this" part has me dying.

 

[mht214]

 

[xbiker47]

some of these are just

 

[crumbs]

this thread

 

[trapmuzik617]

was talkin to this bad puerto rican girl... went on a couple dates or whatever... then she finally wanted to let me smash. it was like 12:30 when she calledme... so i drove over to the place she lived (one of her close friends house) so i had to sneak in... got in we start goin at it but im nervous as *@%@ cuz iwas scared somebody would come in.... got to the point when im pullin her draws down... and i see a forest... lookin worse than danger from the ray j show...needless to say wit that catchin me off guard and bein scared... it didnt get it up

 

[artstranger]

lol

 

[kidufc]

Originally Posted by OGbobbyjohnson773

Originally Posted by Master Zik

Originally Posted by Illuztrious

This just happened last summer.

Luckily I had already been with shorty a couple times already, but this particular evening she was denying me access saying she's trying to get her life correct or something along those lines. I really wasn't trying to hear it so I just went for her "spot" and started kissing and sucking and all that. In seconds she was sliding everything off. We had always used protection before but I was too ready to go so I said F it and went in. Even with a rubber I could tell she had some good (()) so I don't know what convinced me to go in raw knowing I hadn't had sex in a few days. No lie I slid in and it was a wrap. I don't even think I got one pump off. I pulled out real real fast and was like "ma chill, we shouldn't be doing this"! She grabbed me like "nah, c'mon" due to me getting her wet and all but I pushed her away and hit her with another excuse while trying to hide me squirting everywhere. It got all over the bed and I'm not sure but I think she realized what happened cause she had this smile on her face just staring at the ceiling. Dude, I wish I could've left the earth at that very moment.

I don't know what I would've done except for just keep pumping in there. Yall gotta switch it around like u aint stimulating me to cover up the fact that you came quick

The "ma chill, we shouldn't be doing this" part has me dying.

WT EF

 

[mr whomp whomp]

@ some of these post.

As for my personal experience, I'll just say trying to get active in single - teen digit weather FTL.

 

[suprduperfly]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

1. Menstrual cycles on my bed FTL....I just did laundry

. They're a few times when the girl tells me she's on her period that's I've been like whatever. But when it is unexpected, I hit them with the

and silence till she leaves.



2. Girls crying after sex FTL.

1st time. Frosh year I bring this chick back home, I smashed for like 4 hours straight and she went to sleep, so I thought. I got up to use my computer, and this chicks starting crying. My housemates walks in on her crying and me on my computer with a hoodie on and headphones tryna ignore everything.

Reason for her crying-I may have smashed too hard

. Two of her male friends told me she said she couldn't walk the next day and had to go to health services.

An NTer was my frosh year roomie and could co-sign this story


2nd time-Junior year in college, I went to this random chick that my boy knew's bday party. 10 minutes later, I was with the birthday girl on the couch making out. During the party we go into her room around the corner and I smashed the birthday girl. Her 3 friends walk in on me dressing up and her crying hysterically. I was so embarassed because it clearly looked like I had raped her but I was way drunker than she was and everyone saw her approach me and took me into her room.

3rd time-Senior year....I threw a party and the chick I wanted to smash left to go to some bar. Some other girl that was competing with her to smash stuck around and forced herself into my room by the end of the night. I was wasted and stupid and I called her (a slightly full figured girl) "motherly". Don't know why I said that....maybe cause when I rested my head on her boobs it made me feel like an infant.

Anyhow she starts crying and saying you don't call a young girl "motherly". I had to console her with disineguous complements and kissing her which led to smashing.

This thread is A+; but i don't understand what caused birthday girl to cry.
Can you elaborate?

 

[Nujavez]

I remember junior year of high school in my American Government class I was bored and started daydreaming. When I finally like snapped back into reality Ifound myself staring into some girls boobs in class. I saw that she noticed and I was like "OOH $#!*" in my head and quickly turned around. Then Itook quick look back and she was smiling or look like she was about to start laughing. Her boyfriend was in that class too, some big buff Samoan dude.

 

[rawk on]

This thread is A+; but i don't understand what caused birthday girl to cry.
Can you elaborate?




Yeah, you never said why she was crying.

 

[yungchamp]

me n my chick beginning of junior year going hard after football practice moms sneaks in and bust the door open to see my chick butt naked with her ******* allin my face.... needless to say it just wasn't the same after that

 

[omelette king]

my ex threw up orange juice and stomach acid all over my member while giving me helmet....it stunk for like half an hour. In the words of charlesbarkely...."tuuurrible"

 

[bud dink]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

1. Menstrual cycles on my bed FTL....I just did laundry

. They're a few times when the girl tells me she's on her period that's I've been like whatever. But when it is unexpected, I hit them with the

and silence till she leaves.



2. Girls crying after sex FTL.

1st time. Frosh year I bring this chick back home, I smashed for like 4 hours straight and she went to sleep, so I thought. I got up to use my computer, and this chicks starting crying. My housemates walks in on her crying and me on my computer with a hoodie on and headphones tryna ignore everything.

Reason for her crying-I may have smashed too hard

. Two of her male friends told me she said she couldn't walk the next day and had to go to health services.

An NTer was my frosh year roomie and could co-sign this story


2nd time-Junior year in college, I went to this random chick that my boy knew's bday party. 10 minutes later, I was with the birthday girl on the couch making out. During the party we go into her room around the corner and I smashed the birthday girl. Her 3 friends walk in on me dressing up and her crying hysterically. I was so embarassed because it clearly looked like I had raped her but I was way drunker than she was and everyone saw her approach me and took me into her room.

3rd time-Senior year....I threw a party and the chick I wanted to smash left to go to some bar. Some other girl that was competing with her to smash stuck around and forced herself into my room by the end of the night. I was wasted and stupid and I called her (a slightly full figured girl) "motherly". Don't know why I said that....maybe cause when I rested my head on her boobs it made me feel like an infant.

Anyhow she starts crying and saying you don't call a young girl "motherly". I had to console her with disineguous complements and kissing her which led to smashing.

tell me why even your smash game has devilish qualities

 

[n o r e a g a]

this thread is COMEDY

rollinrollinrollinrollinrollinrollinrollinrollinrollin

 

[airthompson]

Originally Posted by Cobra Kai

No Ducktales! I was in the closet, yes it happened!

 

[brettthejett]

I think illuztrus takes the cake for an other wise sub-par story. that whole thing is a quotable

 

[brokeballah]

YO ! at work they all think im planning an evil scheme, cuz im tryna keep my laugh to a minimum. This thread kills me LMAO!

 

[hyphysole]

she threw up while giving me head. MY god

 

[rawk on]

at dudes getting thrown up on while getting cabeza. Don't dive in the deep if you don't know how to swim, ladies.

 

[tree4twenty]

My girl +*%@ on my hand. I laughed it off, but she felt like +*%@. (Pun intended)

(I was trying to loosen up the balloon knot cause I cant break the barrier)

 

[angeleelee]

I was with this casual friend (I guess you would call him that) and he kept saying how hard he was. I touch it and lilke "are you sure you'rehard?" He's like I'm so horny! puts a condom on and tries to have sex, the condom was so big on him and it kept sliding off his penis. I was like"are you sure you're into me? are you sure you're hard" he insists he was hard and stuff but I still took him out of me and rolled over to goto sleep. The TV was on and the extense commercial came on. I drunkenly said "You need that!" I felt so bad... but its true. I guess he had some kindof erectile disfunction because I had sex with him before and it was soft but he still came. I thought I'd give it another shot and it was worse.

 

[hellaones]

My 1st time using Crowns I broke through 3 within 10 mins.(listening to NT FTL) I was in there for a while before I realized the 3rd one busted. When Irealized it I started questioning the chick about if she had any std's, diseases, and how fertile she was. Of course this sparked an argument which endedin her crying when I told her I couldn't see myself having kids with her.