Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters vol. 4

[trueballer507]

Originally Posted by Kicktionair

I thought I broke my boner but I was cool.

 

[chitownrivera07]

This Thread Is Wreckless..


Freshie year I was at my boy's crib kickin it with him and his 17 year old cuzo who was pure

...my guy was on some wild OC virgin type stuff so decidesto pop in a porno flick...so hear i am (with a broken left arm cast and all) laying on the wall side of homies bed while his cuzo is in the middle and hes onthe other side of the bed..See at this age i was steady horny but a lil shy to try and get at ol girl...so im like not even payin attention to the flick goinon and im tryin to catch some Zzz's...then BAM out of nowhere this chick goes under the covers and crawls to my feet, crawls like over me from my feet upto the Damn D...whips it out and just straight goes to work on it, givin that good brain to the kid...all this while her cousin/my boy is in the bed...i startmakin that "damn this is good" face

and this N_ looks at me like you a damn liar....I lift up the blanket to show this N_how his fam getsdown and she proceeds to polish me off and even makes eye contact with this N_and keeps goin...haha ha he just gives me the thumbs up and continues to watchhis porno....nxt day he tells the whole damn freshie class that i piped his cuzo in front of him hahahhahahahaha

 

[jordanhead2]

Originally Posted by ChiTownRivera07

he just gives me the thumbs up and continues to watch his porno....

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by SuprDuperFly

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

1. Menstrual cycles on my bed FTL....I just did laundry

. They're a few times when the girl tells me she's on her period that's I've been like whatever. But when it is unexpected, I hit them with the

and silence till she leaves.



2. Girls crying after sex FTL.

1st time. Frosh year I bring this chick back home, I smashed for like 4 hours straight and she went to sleep, so I thought. I got up to use my computer, and this chicks starting crying. My housemates walks in on her crying and me on my computer with a hoodie on and headphones tryna ignore everything.

Reason for her crying-I may have smashed too hard

. Two of her male friends told me she said she couldn't walk the next day and had to go to health services.

An NTer was my frosh year roomie and could co-sign this story


2nd time-Junior year in college, I went to this random chick that my boy knew's bday party. 10 minutes later, I was with the birthday girl on the couch making out. During the party we go into her room around the corner and I smashed the birthday girl. Her 3 friends walk in on me dressing up and her crying hysterically. I was so embarassed because it clearly looked like I had raped her but I was way drunker than she was and everyone saw her approach me and took me into her room.

3rd time-Senior year....I threw a party and the chick I wanted to smash left to go to some bar. Some other girl that was competing with her to smash stuck around and forced herself into my room by the end of the night. I was wasted and stupid and I called her (a slightly full figured girl) "motherly". Don't know why I said that....maybe cause when I rested my head on her boobs it made me feel like an infant.

Anyhow she starts crying and saying you don't call a young girl "motherly". I had to console her with disineguous complements and kissing her which led to smashing.

This thread is A+; but i don't understand what caused birthday girl to cry.
Can you elaborate?

Beats me......maybe tears of joy? maybe it was what she'd been missing all her life and when she finally got it, the pleasureand satisfaction was overwhelming? maybe i hit it too hard?


Either way 3 of her best friends came in the room as I was getting dressed, and mind you the party is still going on and she took a break from her own party tosmash. Needless to say, it didn't look good.

Damn, my spelling on that rant was horrendous.

 

[three6mafia]

my most wild/ funny moment was over the summer.

so im sorta having people over my house..everyones drinking and what not. im tanked..my boy and i split a 5th of jack and case of labatt beer. so this girl andi start making out. mind you..my house is pretty much packed. so im like lets go in my garage. now before you think "man this dude takes a girl to hisgarage, %+%??" i have a sweeet as hell set up. big %%* bar, like 3 fridges, pool table, the works. any way we get in there, i lock the door. we do ourthing. so after im done im like "damn, i need a beer'. go in the house to grab one and prolly spend like 4 mins BSing with some of my friends. i walkback into the garage and my friend that i split the jack with gots this $**%% naked, and she is riding him while he his bare %%* on one of my bar stools. Thiskid was hammmmerrrrrrd. like hes the one in your group thats the goofy mofo. ya know, everyone gives him crap, but hes a cool mofo. well he looks at me, hesholding a beer too. he throws up a cheers and goes "ya buddy!" LOL. BTW we all started saying buddy after the south park move..the canadians said"ey budday" . so it caught o with us..any way i start throw my beer up too and then my dude starts making out with this chick. i think to my self"dude, i just busted in her mouth like 5 mins ago" LOL. BTW this girls "boy friend" is all messed up on xanix and oxy cotton and passed outin his car in front of my house the whole time this is all happening. im straight up laughing my %%* off. i had to go tell other people in my house. so me andlike 3 more people are gogin to walk in my gauge. the girl is behind the bar getting dressed, well putting on a shirt i grabed for her prior to the event. iswear when she stood back up, it reminded me of the terminator!!! LOL!!!!!
by this time the girls boy friend walks in and my other boy, who for some reason picked up the girls panties throws them at the B/F. and the land straight onhis head

LOL funnny night hahaha

 

[Deleted member 38182]

I dunno if this exactly embarrassing, but the first time i had sex I had to go out and buy condoms for the first time...........
me being Asian and succumbing to stereotypes and being somewhat naive, just bought regular ole' Trojan cuz i thought I was packing small. No I never gotthe opportunity to check my schlong size with other dudes so I didn't know.

Anyways fast forward to the next day, shawty comes over; the moment comes for me to slip on the rubber and I'm having the hardest time ever putting it on.She even tries to help me, and finally she peeps up "this doesn't fit you, you're too big." i slight smirk came to my face. I was slightlyembarrassed to tell her I was a virgin and had no idea what to buy... We finished up raw....The next day she brought over a box of magnums and its been a wrapsince (no pun intended).

 

[jalrulz]

^ lol ducktales.

 

[brettthejett]

Originally Posted by 255forLife

Originally Posted by brettTHEjett

every girl I've been with who went down on me has swallowed. Where do you shoot if she doesn't want it in her mouth

+1

Seriously guys I need help

but seriously.

 

[sir rob a lot]

^^^LOL

 

[Master Zik]

Originally Posted by Rawk On

at dudes getting thrown up on while getting cabeza. Don't dive in the deep if you don't know how to swim, ladies.

Yo the only time that should happen is at parties or something. Drunk girls FTL

If you letting ill chicks give you brain you weird and asking for it.

 

[doosta45]

Originally Posted by Jalrulz

^ lol ducktales.

i was reading that and thought the exact same thing.


like *%@@+ please!

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by rck2sactown

I dunno if this exactly embarrassing, but the first time i had sex I had to go out and buy condoms for the first time...........
me being Asian and succumbing to stereotypes and being somewhat naive, just bought regular ole' Trojan cuz i thought I was packing small. No I never got the opportunity to check my schlong size with other dudes so I didn't know.

Anyways fast forward to the next day, shawty comes over; the moment comes for me to slip on the rubber and I'm having the hardest time ever putting it on. She even tries to help me, and finally she peeps up "this doesn't fit you, you're too big." i slight smirk came to my face. I was slightly embarrassed to tell her I was a virgin and had no idea what to buy... We finished up raw....The next day she brought over a box of magnums and its been a wrap since (no pun intended).

So what are u tryna say...is the expression "it's a wrap" indicating that you use magnums or that she left you?

 

[Deleted member 38182]

Using magnums

 

[atlien seeko]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

1. Menstrual cycles on my bed FTL....I just did laundry

. They're a few times when the girl tells me she's on her period that's I've been like whatever. But when it is unexpected, I hit them with the

and silence till she leaves.



2. Girls crying after sex FTL.

1st time. Frosh year I bring this chick back home, I smashed for like 4 hours straight and she went to sleep, so I thought. I got up to use my computer, and this chicks starting crying. My housemates walks in on her crying and me on my computer with a hoodie on and headphones tryna ignore everything.

Reason for her crying-I may have smashed too hard

. Two of her male friends told me she said she couldn't walk the next day and had to go to health services.

An NTer was my frosh year roomie and could co-sign this story


2nd time-Junior year in college, I went to this random chick that my boy knew's bday party. 10 minutes later, I was with the birthday girl on the couch making out. During the party we go into her room around the corner and I smashed the birthday girl. Her 3 friends walk in on me dressing up and her crying hysterically. I was so embarassed because it clearly looked like I had raped her but I was way drunker than she was and everyone saw her approach me and took me into her room.

3rd time-Senior year....I threw a party and the chick I wanted to smash left to go to some bar. Some other girl that was competing with her to smash stuck around and forced herself into my room by the end of the night. I was wasted and stupid and I called her (a slightly full figured girl) "motherly". Don't know why I said that....maybe cause when I rested my head on her boobs it made me feel like an infant.

Anyhow she starts crying and saying you don't call a young girl "motherly". I had to console her with disineguous complements and kissing her which led to smashing.

I swear this is PUUUUUUUURE COMEDY!!!!

 

[mecks]

Originally Posted by kidUFC

this happened last night..

had sex like 20 times.. from about 11 pm to 4:30 am non stop... first time we smashed i nutted after 2 mins, im like sorry i got excited.. but lets do it again, so we do it, she nuts 3 times before i had to bust again..

...

after having sex for about 4 hrs straight we sleep, then had to wake up early in the morning cuz i had to take her back home for church.. but before we leave, i smashed... i nutted the first 2 mins .. cleaned up then went at it again.. i bust again after 3 mins ...

im like !%#$.. she goes LOL you busted 2x within 5 mins.. impressive.

i love those days u get to spend the night with yo girl and u wake up at liek 2 am to smash, then go back to sleeep then have morning sex, thensex in the shower, then sex after shower

 

[kylewatson3]

I'm with this girl back in HS and we were together for a couple of weeks, and go out one night over the summer. On the way back home I convince her tostart servicing me on the way back to her house. I pull over at a spot and she continues, until it's like 5 minutes from her curfew so we leave and startdriving back and she tries to quit on me. I tell her I am close, so she continues and I bust in her mouth as we are pulling into her driveway.

I'm telling her bye and she goes "I'm late you need to come in and tell my Mom why or she won't let me go out with you anymore." So hereI am still stiff, zipping up my jeans, and trying to hide it while walking into her house. She goes over gives her mom a hug and heads to the bathroom. I hadtalked to her Mom a couple of times before, but here she was giving me the stoneface looking me up and down. I lied saying we forgot what time it was, etc. THewhole time I get the feeling she knows what happened and why we were late. It was definitely an awkward situation for me at the time.

 

[blaxoid]

I was coming from my ex's place at like 1pm, driving with her back to my place to watch a movie. So about half way thru the trip I decide that I'venever gotten head while driving before, so I have to experience it.. I spent 2 minutes convincing her its a good idea and she obliges. So she's puttin inwork and 30 secs in, I'm making this "massive smile and kind of closing my eyes" face, u know the one.

Unfortunately, this also made me lose sight of the road infront of me. I put my attention back onto the road and notice I'm about to smash into the carinfront of me which has just stopped, so in that instant I slam on the brakes and manage to stop without hitting it. Obviously my girl wasnt aware that thiswas about to happen so the sudden stop made her smack her head on the wheel, and at the same time she kind of closes her mouth out of reaction and her teethsort of bite/scratch my lil man. I yelled 'FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU' and stared at her angrily, and she totally lost it blaming me for making her hither head etc, that i'm never gonna get any head again and so on

I was on lockdown for 2 weeks following this event

 

[cutasdiamondz8]

Lol At A Lot Of These Stories.. Man This One Is Nasty.. I've Smashed This 32 Year Old Milf At My Crib Twice.. Each Time Her Thing Thing Wasn't SmellingThat Proper.. But I Ignored It And Took It Like A Man Lol. .The 3rd Night She Came Through We Get Straight To It, I'm Unbuckling Her Pants.. Taking HerClothes Off With The Quickness.. She's Naked.. I'm Getting Naked.. Get Some Genius And Pop The Fitted On.. Everything Looks Great Perfect.. Shes OnHer Back And I Proceed To Get Her Moist.. I Start Piping Missionary And Decide That I Got Bored With The Position... MEANWHILE SHE'S ENJOYING EVERY SECONDMOANING AND WHAT NOT.. As Soon As I Pull Out.. Blood Comes Rushing Out And Stains The OAGD;IGBDUI;GBG Out Of My Sheets... I Gave Her The Only Stone FaceWhile She Was Just Like "OMGGG I'm So Sorry I Didn't Have No Idea, I'm Not Even On My Period, Just Haven't Been On The Pill" IWas At Lost Of Words I Just Sat Back And Stared At Her And The Sheets Repeatedly Lol.. I Let Her Finish Me Off With Some More Genious After She Got FullyClothed Again Lol... Haven't Seen Her Since Haha

 

[artstranger]

~Me and my girl stay the night at my aunts while my bro is house sitting
we get my aunts big bed but i felt bad cause my aunt said no funny stuff in her bed
so we are on the floor and she is giving me dome when all of a sudden she pulled her head up
and hit her head on the corner of the table i felt so bad she hit hard and was almost crying
Needless to say our night end early

 

[fl0eticnostalgia]

Originally Posted by cutasdiamondz8

Lol At A Lot Of These Stories.. Man This One Is Nasty.. I've Smashed This 32 Year Old Milf At My Crib Twice.. Each Time Her Thing Thing Wasn't Smelling That Proper.. But I Ignored It And Took It Like A Man Lol. .The 3rd Night She Came Through We Get Straight To It, I'm Unbuckling Her Pants.. Taking Her Clothes Off With The Quickness.. She's Naked.. I'm Getting Naked.. Get Some Genius And Pop The Fitted On.. Everything Looks Great Perfect.. Shes On Her Back And I Proceed To Get Her Moist.. I Start Piping Missionary And Decide That I Got Bored With The Position... MEANWHILE SHE'S ENJOYING EVERY SECOND MOANING AND WHAT NOT.. As Soon As I Pull Out.. Blood Comes Rushing Out And Stains The OAGD;IGBDUI;GBG Out Of My Sheets... I Gave Her The Only Stone Face While She Was Just Like "OMGGG I'm So Sorry I Didn't Have No Idea, I'm Not Even On My Period, Just Haven't Been On The Pill" I Was At Lost Of Words I Just Sat Back And Stared At Her And The Sheets Repeatedly Lol.. I Let Her Finish Me Off With Some More Genious After She Got Fully Clothed Again Lol... Haven't Seen Her Since Haha

that's crazy how the 1st letter of every word is capital. seems exhausting.

 

[im a helion]

Me and my dad walked on my lil bro breakin this chicks back out one day. He' 17. The #$$# was hilarious because Iknew what was up soon as before we even got to the crib and I tried textin this dude repeatedly to warn him. I guess the sex was so good that he ignored hisphone. Me and my dad walked into the room to find them both buck naked and her !%* in the air. Dude looked at me, my dad, then the girl and pulled out. Thechick didn't even realize we were there at first.

"What's wrong? You had enough?"

She then turned around and saw us standin there...she screamed loud as hell. I couldn't do #$$# but laugh. My dadwas pissed. He went to the balcony and was like "I just gotta smoke me a blunt...because I really don't wanna embarrass him in front of her."After that, me made them get dressed, told them to come to the living room, and promptly cussed them both out for like an hour. I was in the other room watchinMaury with the volume all the way down so I could hear what was goin on...we still roast him for it til this day.

 

[la213espg]

Originally Posted by blaxoid

I was coming from my ex's place at like 1pm, driving with her back to my place to watch a movie. So about half way thru the trip I decide that I've never gotten head while driving before, so I have to experience it.. I spent 2 minutes convincing her its a good idea and she obliges. So she's puttin in work and 30 secs in, I'm making this "massive smile and kind of closing my eyes" face, u know the one.

Unfortunately, this also made me lose sight of the road infront of me. I put my attention back onto the road and notice I'm about to smash into the car infront of me which has just stopped, so in that instant I slam on the brakes and manage to stop without hitting it. Obviously my girl wasnt aware that this was about to happen so the sudden stop made her smack her head on the wheel, and at the same time she kind of closes her mouth out of reaction and her teeth sort of bite/scratch my lil man. I yelled 'FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU' and stared at her angrily, and she totally lost it blaming me for making her hit her head etc, that i'm never gonna get any head again and so on

I was on lockdown for 2 weeks following this event

 

[sc415]

Originally Posted by rck2sactown

I dunno if this exactly embarrassing, but the first time i had sex I had to go out and buy condoms for the first time...........
me being Asian and succumbing to stereotypes and being somewhat naive, just bought regular ole' Trojan cuz i thought I was packing small. No I never got the opportunity to check my schlong size with other dudes so I didn't know.

Anyways fast forward to the next day, shawty comes over; the moment comes for me to slip on the rubber and I'm having the hardest time ever putting it on. She even tries to help me, and finally she peeps up "this doesn't fit you, you're too big." i slight smirk came to my face. I was slightly embarrassed to tell her I was a virgin and had no idea what to buy... We finished up raw....The next day she brought over a box of magnums and its been a wrap since (no pun intended).

LOL, this had me

especially the end with magnums!

 

[AL Andretti]

^^^ Same here.

comedy @ it's finest.

 

[ericberry14]

Originally Posted by FL0ETiCNOSTALGiA

Originally Posted by cutasdiamondz8

Lol At A Lot Of These Stories.. Man This One Is Nasty.. I've Smashed This 32 Year Old Milf At My Crib Twice.. Each Time Her Thing Thing Wasn't Smelling That Proper.. But I Ignored It And Took It Like A Man Lol. .The 3rd Night She Came Through We Get Straight To It, I'm Unbuckling Her Pants.. Taking Her Clothes Off With The Quickness.. She's Naked.. I'm Getting Naked.. Get Some Genius And Pop The Fitted On.. Everything Looks Great Perfect.. Shes On Her Back And I Proceed To Get Her Moist.. I Start Piping Missionary And Decide That I Got Bored With The Position... MEANWHILE SHE'S ENJOYING EVERY SECOND MOANING AND WHAT NOT.. As Soon As I Pull Out.. Blood Comes Rushing Out And Stains The OAGD;IGBDUI;GBG Out Of My Sheets... I Gave Her The Only Stone Face While She Was Just Like "OMGGG I'm So Sorry I Didn't Have No Idea, I'm Not Even On My Period, Just Haven't Been On The Pill" I Was At Lost Of Words I Just Sat Back And Stared At Her And The Sheets Repeatedly Lol.. I Let Her Finish Me Off With Some More Genious After She Got Fully Clothed Again Lol... Haven't Seen Her Since Haha

that's crazy how the 1st letter of every word is capital. seems exhausting.