My most embarrassing and frustrating sexual experience W/ CLIFFNOTES

[skip2mylou23]

This is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard.

 

[neptunebeats187]

Damn.....

 

[antonlavey]

Well I got a few but mine are more awkward than embarassing. I was laying on the bed with this chick having a little drunk talk. I couldn't think of anappropriate complement to give her so I called her "motherly". Apparently, this isn't a complement at all for a 20 year old slightly chubbychick. She starts balling hysterically. My boys are outside my room like what the hell is going on. I spent the next 20 minutes tryna console her and spin thewhole motherly thing into a positive....I had no intentions of having sex with her but i kinda had to too take the L to get her confidence back up. Iwouldn't want any chubby chicks on suicide watch because of me. -SlickNickMD

 

[ihate481]

Originally Posted by early90s

Son just commited e-suicide

EDIT:
My lord that is pathetic. You need the whole alphabet after that my man, you and your girl. A regular L won't even suffice.

SHE didn't know which hole?

but honestly man

I feel so bad for you right now

 

[aveezythebeast]

Damn bro thats a Big L. I feel bad for your first experience! But honostly one of you has to know which hole it IS!!!!! Well at least she went down on you forawhile..

Better luck next time! Pics?

 

[dunks87]

OP not sure if this has been said because i have yet to go through all 18 pages, but your screen name seems somewhat ironic after reading this. good luck!

 

[finnns2003]

this thread has taken a huge detour, what is going on...

 

[handsomedollaz]

my first sexual experience was the same way, it seemed like ol girl's thang was on straight Alcatraz status, and dry as the Mojave...

I took a similar L, but did end up getting a "helping hand" out of the ordeal, in which i launched a load that had to have set a record for longestdistance ever ejaculated by a 16 year old.

once i actually did lose my virginity, it was with a jumpoff, and i skeeted quicker than cable internet.

so don't trip, i have faith that eventually, YWS.

 

[celtixhalfshell]

Originally Posted by YaBoyDiddy

Originally Posted by nnarum

That sums it up perfectly

=to the OP: when ya find out whats really good w/ destroyin a wis' ull ask urself is sex really this good?
then ull answer urself by sayin...................

-fixed-


anywayz, ayo OP, i hear u but not knowin where to slide ur man at (nor here either???).......aint either of u two unlocked a door b4?
its basic math.

 

[celtixhalfshell]

btw-so is dre digital or analog? cuz he really told boost what time it is

 

[Bonafide]

that monkey pic is bananas

 

[cj863]

Originally Posted by YoungSole93

Your the kinda person Kat Williams refers to at the end of American Hustler.

omg!!!! I can't breathe!!!!!

 

[willapeer]

damn, why post this much info on yourself. the clowning will come

 

[nawghtyhare]

just wanted to see if there was an update

 

[lnmymind]

Can't believe I'm just reading this...but since it's coming from "Da Xplicit One"...I'm not surprised one bit.

 

[jordan1128]

ahahhahahahahhahahhahhahahahahahha wrong place too post

 

[freshone12]

Originally Posted by TEDDYSNEAKS

Originally Posted by jackiechizzan

[flav]woooooooooowwwwwwwwww[/flav]

6 condoms. 1 night. 0 nut.

im no love doctor but the statistics are all wrong bud!!!!

 

[streetchemistry]

 

[heliumclinton]

so did you get some yet?

 

[sure lock 510]

(-________________________________________-)

 

[trapmuzik617]

Originally Posted by SURE LOCK 510

(-________________________________________-)

damn gravediggers

 

[clutch 713]

 

[optimusprimeaphia]

Originally Posted by Da XpLiCiT OnE

@ never watching porn comments. I've been watching porn for probably a decade. It's probably why because I don't know how it feels and only from videos

and what my mind thinks it feels like.

Dawg, you're doing this to yourself. Seriously.

I can't help those that don't want to help themselves...

Spoiler

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Spoiler [+]

Spoiler

Thanks for making my night though!

Just do better fam. Like a lot better. Stop thinking so much and go "beat it up" for lack of better word. Thats what she wants...

 

[mc otaku]

this is what happens when u think to much

 

[sheistbugz]

wow, cant believe I never seen this one before.