For those that are married, is it the norm to move in before marriage?

[moderndarwin]

It’s economical. The cost of living and rents are way too high for people to have their own place these days (at least in the Bay Area). I’d rather have my own place and her have her own place and we spend thurs through Sunday together. Sometimes having someone else around during the workweek is hard. I just want to get home, chill, watch some hoops and do nothing. Gotta do quite a bit more talking and being involved when another person enters the equation.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Everyone is different as are most situations.

Both have their advantages and disadvantages.

What are the disadvantages of livig with someone BEFOREhand?

 

[asilva23]

aside from some archaic tradition that doesn't have any tangible benefit, why shouldn't a couple live together before marrying? what's the advantage of not living together and then finding out all the gory details after you're married? commitment shouldn't be blind. would you shop for a wedding ring by throwing 10-20k on the counter for some sealed mystery package?

I'm not saying a couple should or shouldn't. Personally, I have and it allowed us to get to know each other well enough to then make the decision to get married.
But I also think it would be fun to wait and then enjoy new experiences as newlyweds.
If you take your vows serious, the gory details you speak of shouldn't matter. For better or for worse.

 

[Betonblck]

Any of you guys in a similar situation as me in which you have a bachelor pad condo/apt and your gf/fiancee has a bigger house and her house has more room to live in than your place.

What do you do, mentally I am not sure I can move in my woman's house, and she isn't going to just sell her house just yet.

She moving in my smaller place cause I'm the man and that's the way it goes.

 

[asilva23]

What are the disadvantages of livig with someone BEFOREhand?

As I mentioned above, I believe there's something special about going through new experiences together as newlyweds.
If you're already living together, then nothing really changes except you now have a marriage certificate.

I don't think one is right or wrong. I see stuntman mike's POV in that it allows you to really get to know the person.

I truly believe people should do whatever makes them happy as long as they're not hurting anyone else.

 

[stuntman mike]

i take my vows super seriously and it’s because we lived together for a few years before pulling the trigger. i’ve lived with a few other women before and those didn’t end up in marriage because of us testing the waters first thank goodness. the longer i lived with my wife, the closer i grew to her and even after all the time we spent together, i didn’t find myself wishing she had a
mute button. that’s when i knew she was the one and i proposed.

 

[asilva23]

i take my vows super seriously and it’s because we lived together for a few years before pulling the trigger. i’ve lived with a few other women before and those didn’t end up in marriage because of us testing the waters first thank goodness. the longer i lived with my wife, the closer i grew to her and even after all the time we spent together, i didn’t find myself wishing she had a
mute button. that’s when i knew she was the one and i proposed.

Mute button, lol. Good stuff Mike, you sound very happy.
In my experience, there's nothing better than the intimacy between a husband and wife.

 

[stuntman mike]

even though i’m cheerleading for one size of the argument though, i do realize that everyone is different and there’s not one right way that fits all couples.

 

[ksteezy]

You did it in you passive aggressive manner. You know what you are doing man.

Happy thanksgivings

No i didn't, quit being insecure b

 

[iamdef]

aside from some archaic tradition that doesn't have any tangible benefit, why shouldn't a couple live together before marrying? what's the advantage of not living together and then finding out all the gory details after you're married? commitment shouldn't be blind. would you shop for a wedding ring by throwing 10-20k on the counter for some sealed mystery package?

One reason it's frowned upon because the people often get married based on how great the other person is in bed. Not living together makes it "harder"/less likely you will have sex before marriage. Also in help preventing sex before marriage you prevent kids before marriage and many people believe that you impregnate a woman you "must" marry her.

And yes if people want to have sex thay can do it without living together. It's just a preventative method.

Saying there's no tangible benefit is wrong, whether you agree with it or not.

Definitely split the bills 50/50. Don't do the income ratio thing. It will only cause resentment because one person will feel they're paying more and the other is leeching

No more resentment than a person who makes half as much as the other using the majority of their income on bills only while the other has plenty to spare.


Do what works for you tho.

 

[grimeyy]

My fiance and I plan to move in with each other a few months before our wedding.

 

[stuntman mike]

One reason it's frowned upon because the people often get married based on how great the other person is in bed. Not living together makes it "harder"/less likely you will have sex before marriage.

yikes dude. i guess i can see your point but that type of old-fashioned thinking scares me. personally, i would not marry someone who was really crappy in bed. i'd def wanna know beforehand. i cannot imagine how hellish life is for those married to a woman who (god forbid) doesn't suck **** or gives terrible bjs. i'm not saying that sex should be the focal point of the marriage, but imo it's as important as one of the major food groups though and without it, the marriage will wither

 

[iamdef]

yikes dude. i guess i can see your point but that type of old-fashioned thinking scares me. personally, i would not marry someone who was really crappy in bed. i'd def wanna know beforehand. i cannot imagine how hellish life is for those married to a woman who (god forbid) doesn't suck **** or gives terrible bjs. i'm not saying that sex should be the focal point of the marriage, but imo it's as important as one of the major food groups though and without it, the marriage will wither

I feel you. I personally wanted to wait until marriage all throughout high school but ended up dropping that. Not sure why but I did. I def wouldn't be apprehensive in marrying someone who I am not sexually compatible with. It's like it's not a deal breaker but it is

 

[I AM REGGAETON]

My girl gives the most unenthusiastic blowjobs.....the couple times she does a year. I have to think of past girls just to nut. So they make me nut. Not her.

She gave me a hand job on the bed once and i fell asleep....before i arrived.

 

[kvsm23vs24]

bruh!

Next that girl!

 

[wanksta23]

My girl gives the most unenthusiastic blowjobs.....the couple times she does a year. I have to think of past girls just to nut. So they make me nut. Not her.

She gave me a hand job on the bed once and i fell asleep....before i arrived.

I feel you though, mine wasn't all too great in the beginning. She seems unenthusiastic a bit, but im not really complaining, she's pretty good now
maybe tell her what to do? tell her what you want/how to do it lol

 

[alchemist iq]

My girl gives the most unenthusiastic blowjobs.....the couple times she does a year. I have to think of past girls just to nut. So they make me nut. Not her.

She gave me a hand job on the bed once and i fell asleep....before i arrived.

damb. thats a waste of a nut. let ger go nicely. cant be having that type of sex. your wasting your time.

 

[I AM REGGAETON]

damb. thats a waste of a nut. let ger go nicely. cant be having that type of sex. your wasting your time.

Booiiiiiiii im out here im Ecuador living for free. I ain't dumpin nothin but hydro ash.

 

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

i rather live with them before i find out what im getting into nawh mean

 

[アミーゴ]

i rather live with them before i find out what im getting into nawh mean

Oh ok

 

[deusavertat]

Lived with my wife fof 4 years before marriage. So it feels like we'vd been married for 7 years.

 

[アミーゴ]

Lol at a 5 year thread grave-dig that’s DC behavior

 

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

Lived with my wife fof 4 years before marriage. So it feels like we'vd been married for 7 years.

and how long before you moved in together?

 

[deusavertat]

and how long before you moved in together?

A little under a year. We decided there was no point paying 2 rents.

2 year anniversary coming up on halloween