For those that are married, is it the norm to move in before marriage?

[AZwildcats]

You can’t marry someone without living with them. You don’t know who someone truly is till you do so.

I agree 100% with this

 

[slighted]

My homie asked me this when he got engaged.

I'm a single dude and told him he needs to live with her before getting married.

At best, you're cool with her. At worst, you can break off the engagement.

 

[Chopper]

My girl used to say she didn't want to move in together until we were married. We moved in at 7 months cause she realized how much she could save. Been super easy.

P.S. No way in hell I'd marry a chick without living with her first.

 

[ace rawstein]

Very normal. I wonder how many people dont during today's times.

I would say both of yall need to have a certain level of maturity tho. I wouldn't recommend it for everybody.

But you know yourself and your spouse better than we do.

 

[kvsm23vs24]

I would move in with my chick too before marriage.

Can't imagine getting married first.
Also how do you guys split the bills?

 

[slighted]

Also how do you guys split the bills?

This is the more important question.

What do you do if you make 2-3x more $$ than her?

 

[iamdef]

Also how do you guys split the bills?

We tallied up all the monthly expenses, compared income, and split the expenses in half by percentages based on income. That amount is direct deposited into a shared checking account specifically for the bills. Whatever is left from your income is personal and can be spent however

Ex.
Total Expenses: $1500
Him Income: $2500
Her Income: $1700
Total Income: $3700

Since his income makes up 67.5% of the income he'll cover 67.5% of the expenses and she'll cover the remaining 32.5%.
Him Expense Portion: $1012.50
Her Expense Portion: $487.50


But to each their own.

 

[Chopper]

Also how do you guys split the bills?

Ultimately our money is each others, but we split bills and rent 50/50. I make double what she does.

Her Mom and sister used to be all in her ear about I should be paying all the rent. She finally had it with them and told them maybe that's why they're single.

 

[Fozz]

You can’t marry someone without living with them. You don’t know who someone truly is till you do so.

I think this depends on the couple. There is a level of maturity that must be had before you can move in with a partner.

 

[iamdef]

Her Mom and sister used to be all in her ear about I should be paying all the rent. She finally had it with them and told them maybe that's why they're single.

Some women like some of those old school gender roles but also want to be outspoken and talk back to they husband/man.
I wish some of these younger women could go back and see how wives were treated because men were the main bread winners.

 

[アミーゴ]

On the other side of the spectrum, it made my ex and I realize we weren’t right for each other. We hated living together lol.

In terms of expenses I like what my friends do. Split mortgage and all expenses in half and put that in joint account. Also have account for savings for trips and bigger items and then have separate accounts for themselves. That way she can’t get pissed if he wants to go buy an Xbox spur of moment or a pair of shoes.

 

[alchemist iq]

Her Mom and sister used to be all in her ear about I should be paying all the rent. She finally had it with them and told them maybe that's why they're single.

Hmm.. not tryna be on some bias racist tip but y'all black.

I'm African American but Nigerian American. Sounds such like a African American Nigerian thing a women will expect. Have man pay the rent /mortgage. My parents for all these years never bought a home together but they no longer with each other anyway.

I know cultures don't accept this type of concept as well. But if the be/gf have muatal respect and admiration for each other it will work out well. My Chinese female friend will never leave her parents house. But she told me most Chinese households the kids going into adult don't usually leave the crib. Idk.

I personally left my parents crib without giving them notice about my move when I was 24. Lived with 2 other roommates for 2 years. we all knew each other and we split the rent/bills.

I'm glad that I left my parents crib when I did cause I would have never taken full responsibility for my well being as a independent adult.


Looking to buy an apartment in Texas Richmond/Katy area or houston. By next next year February or March. Gonna live on my own. No roomates. I have a soild side chick who might be willing to vist me from NYC to Texas. If not I'll pick me up a nice Texas girl.

 

[adobecs4]

We split everything 50/50. I may do something like pay the wifi or energy bill early myself, just so I don't forget about it.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Maybe I'm biased, but I must add, living with a woman, specially if she's your best friend is awesome...I wouldn't trade it to be single EVER.

Here goes the, "My life is better than yours" rhetoric from Kalvin Steezy

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Ultimately our money is each others, but we split bills and rent 50/50. I make double what she does.

Her Mom and sister used to be all in her ear about I should be paying all the rent. She finally had it with them and told them maybe that's why they're single.

Good for your girl. How did her folks take it? Lol

 

[Chopper]

alchemist iq I'm white just to clarify.

DCAllAfrican They basically Alonzo giffed and everything been gravy since. They never talk to her about our financials any more. I love both of them so I'm fortunate to have inlaws I like being around.

 

[alchemist iq]

Interesting. women bricking holds no bounds to any race.

Hoesstly imo it just depends how well people know there partners well enough. They move in with each other and manage a household. Everyone lives a different lifestyle.

 

[stuntman mike]

Here goes the, "My life is better than yours" rhetoric from Kalvin Steezy

c'mon man

 

[mastamind033]

I think every couple should live together for a while and go on trips with just the two of them before getting married.

 

[ksteezy]

Here goes the, "My life is better than yours" rhetoric from Kalvin Steezy

Now where in the hell did I compare my situation to anyone else's in here you fool

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Is there any scripture that references why people shouldn't live together?

@htg designs

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Now where in the hell did I compare my situation to anyone else's in here you fool

You did it in you passive aggressive manner. You know what you are doing man.

Happy thanksgivings

 

[asilva23]

Everyone is different as are most situations.

Both have their advantages and disadvantages.

 

[stuntman mike]

Both have their advantages and disadvantages.

aside from some archaic tradition that doesn't have any tangible benefit, why shouldn't a couple live together before marrying? what's the advantage of not living together and then finding out all the gory details after you're married? commitment shouldn't be blind. would you shop for a wedding ring by throwing 10-20k on the counter for some sealed mystery package?

 

[fluid hips]

Definitely split the bills 50/50. Don't do the income ratio thing. It will only cause resentment because one person will feel they're paying more and the other is leeching