Crazy stories from your job.

[thegreatone]

I work at a corporate place but it is almost like some high school setting over here. We have clicks of people that only hang out with each other, the nerds, the over achievers, etc. Like high school though, tons of people end of sleeping with each other here. Some people married and some people not. I don't know why it is a common thing but I guess work life is really the other high school when you get older. I've heard of so many people cheating, sleeping with old dudes, sleeping with milfs, sleeping with bosses or just casual one night stands. Actually about a month ago, my homeboy that is married got blown by some other chick that is married at his work area. He's IT so he has his own location and you need badge access. Said girl came down and just domed him up, slurpped his kids and left to wash up. He said it was a good way to start a monday.

 

[sir charles]

BUMP


Need updates on Lorenzo.

 

[corndogmcgee]

one of my first jobs in HR was hiring for a high attrition, minimum wage call center. We were always turning over employees, so to move quicker, we started doing most of our hiring over the phone and skip in-person interviews. You can imagine the surprises we got when new employees would come in for paperwork/orientation. One in particular still freaks me out to this day: we hired a candidate who was male by name, sounded male on the phone and showed up as a man dressed as a women. That was surprising, but it got downright creepy when we were doing hire paperwork. I needed to notarize his/her identification, and when looking at his/her drivers license, the face picture was deliberately, violently scratched out. I looked up like and asked for another piece of ID. He/She gave me the death stare from hell. I got up, he/she got up, and he/she asked for my supervisor. I backed out of the room and had my manager (4'9" female) finish the paperwork. Anti-climactic, but I really thought that I was either getting strangled at that moment or throwing hands and getting charged with a hate crime.

 

[Comparison Ford]

BUMP


Need updates on Lorenzo.

Your wish is my command.

I have good news and some very bad news.  I'll start with the very bad: tomorrow is Lorenzo's last day at work.  He claims he got into the academy for the NYPD.  I know it's a lie, and I anticipate seeing him riding around the local shopping mall on a segway or kicking skateboarders out of parking lots in his Arrow Security car in the very near future, but I wish him the best of luck in all of his endeavors.  It's been a wild ride.

The good news is as follows: last night I had a dream that the real reason Lorenzo put in his two weeks was because he got a girl from our job pregnant.  I texted him about it this morning, he misread my text, paranoia kicked in HARD, and a classic Lorenzo moment was forged.  Here's my gift to you, NikeTalk:

Farewell, dear Lorenzo.  You will be missed.

 

[jjs]

Another time, I worked at panera bread n it was this bop named chris who was jus ****** up in the head. Chick was so ugly, we used to call her mr. popo like the dbz character cuz she was short, black, fat n ugly. I mean she was a few big boys away from precious. Some reason tho she had the confidence of kim k. I mean randomly she would flash her big black sad excuse for ******* to all us dudes. So on the 4th of july one year, its me her n 2 of my boys there n it was slow so we tellin stories n kicking it.
She gets to telling all these freaky stories about giving top, catching trains etc. do one of my boys, lets call him yolo. Yolo don't gaf I mean son use to pay fiends on 7 mile for top, hes like a back page gold card member. The other is the complete opposite n didn't really smash alot n loved big girls seein he was big himself. After we closed I noticed her n yolo was outta sight so I walk in the bathroom all I c is dude gettin domed up. Im cracking up n she like"what? U want next?" I decline off the strength of dude get topped by js ain't no tellin what he got. Fast forward to a hour later, other dude goes to the frezer to put up some food. He forgot a bad of soup n 10 mins gp by n I say f it n.take it to the freezer. I open the door n see dude straight kissin her in the mouth n she wackin dude lil wee wee. She like omg again n he look lost. Long story short hebasically kissed yolo ****. Dude got roasted the rest of his time there smh

:x

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[sir charles]

Damn Lorenzo is crazy man

 

[allreds]

p4l

 

[dominikin]

I used to distribute coors light into chain stores. Once they would go out of code (persihed), we would delete the date on the bottle or can and repack to sell it to consumers.

 

[evolution fight]

I used to distribute coors light into chain stores. Once they would go out of code (persihed), we would delete the date on the bottle or can and repack to sell it to consumers.

at my old job they would do that too.. where they would 'repack' some old stuff and pass it off as new
i'm pretty sure alot of companies do that though

 

[beezylocks]

I used to distribute coors light into chain stores. Once they would go out of code (persihed), we would delete the date on the bottle or can and repack to sell it to consumers.

how does it delete if its printed on the bottle?

 

[detcity]

in a grocery store there was a kitchen blocked off by sight. right next to it was the meat department, i worked in the deli. we would have to string the chicked and put them on metal skewers. shorty from the meat dept keep coming in talking to me because i would do this everyday. one day while I'm skewering she walk in starts rustling my jimmies but no happy ending. after that i would just beat cakes at her apt.

 

[meek meals]

Another time, I worked at panera bread n it was this bop named chris who was jus ****** up in the head. Chick was so ugly, we used to call her mr. popo like the dbz character cuz she was short, black, fat n ugly. I mean she was a few big boys away from precious. Some reason tho she had the confidence of kim k. I mean randomly she would flash her big black sad excuse for ******* to all us dudes. So on the 4th of july one year, its me her n 2 of my boys there n it was slow so we tellin stories n kicking it.
She gets to telling all these freaky stories about giving top, catching trains etc. do one of my boys, lets call him yolo. Yolo don't gaf I mean son use to pay fiends on 7 mile for top, hes like a back page gold card member. The other is the complete opposite n didn't really smash alot n loved big girls seein he was big himself. After we closed I noticed her n yolo was outta sight so I walk in the bathroom all I c is dude gettin domed up. Im cracking up n she like"what? U want next?" I decline off the strength of dude get topped by js ain't no tellin what he got. Fast forward to a hour later, other dude goes to the frezer to put up some food. He forgot a bad of soup n 10 mins gp by n I say f it n.take it to the freezer. I open the door n see dude straight kissin her in the mouth n she wackin dude lil wee wee. She like omg again n he look lost. Long story short hebasically kissed yolo ****. Dude got roasted the rest of his time there smh

My shun rocking the clean Roshes

 

[meek meals]

Also, dead at Lorenzo texting you "!!!!!!!!"

 

[detcity]

at the deli i worked at they were grease runs where you would take the grease out the store and put it in the grease trap. so my home boy well say his names bobby tells me to save the buckets we put the grease in. we end up roaming the store grabbing everything and anything we wanted. I'm talking whole deli chicken house supplies bio you name it just no liquor because to many people watch it. we fill the buckets with what we want walk outside the managers right my the car we poped the truing and was getting ready to put them in. luckily we brought one real greases thing and exceded to dump it. come back he's gone i pop the trunk open it with my buy throwing the barrels in there. only people that seen were customers but we were so slick they never caught on. and they have the good deli meat I'm talking dietz and watson/ boars head /best chese you could think of. 

 

[detcity]

when i was 15 i worked at a banquet hall and i was a terrible kid. me my brother and my boy well say pat worked there. we used to smoke under the tables while working, eat all the food that was not allowed, and also i was cool with one bartender and would get free drinks. one day they had a wedding where people were throwing money all over making it rain I'm talking dollars twenties i even seen a few hundred tossed. so at the end we got to sweep it up and give back to the couple. lets just say there was a couple dollars missing. also at arabic wedding they love johnny walker and all would have packs of cigarettes and cigars at each table. also they were the only ones that tipped the little guys and always beautiful woman. also at this job we had a way obese lady running it. during one of my boys interview she fell asleep funniest **** ever. there was also a guy that worked there that would always have a razor blade in his mouth always wanted to figure how many times he ****** himself up perfecting that.

 

[detcity]

i posted like 3 great stories and they're still not up?

 

[mitchellicious]

in a grocery store there was a kitchen blocked off by sight. right next to it was the meat department, i worked in the deli. we would have to string the chicked and put them on metal skewers. shorty from the meat dept keep coming in talking to me because i would do this everyday. one day while I'm skewering she walk in starts rustling my jimmies but no happy ending. after that i would just beat cakes at her apt.

Does this make sense to anyone?

 

[detcity]

yea after reading i need to elaborate my bad

im salty about the posts the didn't show

well ****** story even shorter there was a girl that had a crush on me at my old job. jot a hj while skewering chickens

 

[detcity]

Does this make sense to anyone?

will they take off posts without telling you?

 

[senior flight]

Does this make sense to anyone?

 He said its a great story

 

[faulkit28]

Posted this in t.a.n. and they told me to put it here.

I clean the airplane bathroom tanks. So a tank doesn't seem to be emptying correctly so, I get my heavy duty cleaning gloves and proceed to stick my hand in the tank. So I'm feeling around trying to see what's stuck. All of a sudden i grab hold of something. I tug on it trying to get it out of the tank. All of a sudden the something tugs back at me. With that scaring the crap out of me, i take my hand out of the tank. Go inside the plane to see what's happening. Turns out a dude was using the bathroom, taking a number 2 (with a number 1 as well), and he felt his number 1 being grabbed.

 

[Nereyda Vuelve Por Dios]

Posted this in t.a.n. and they told me to put it here.

I clean the airplane bathroom tanks. So a tank doesn't seem to be emptying correctly so, I get my heavy duty cleaning gloves and proceed to stick my hand in the tank. So I'm feeling around trying to see what's stuck. All of a sudden i grab hold of something. I tug on it trying to get it out of the tank. All of a sudden the something tugs back at me. With that scaring the crap out of me, i take my hand out of the tank. Go inside the plane to see what's happening. Turns out a dude was using the bathroom, taking a number 2 (with a number 1 as well), and he felt his number 1 being grabbed.

That is hilarious and ayo. Did homie know it was you tugging on his manhood? Hahaha

 

[shorty doo wop]

Posted this in t.a.n. and they told me to put it here.

I clean the airplane bathroom tanks. So a tank doesn't seem to be emptying correctly so, I get my heavy duty cleaning gloves and proceed to stick my hand in the tank. So I'm feeling around trying to see what's stuck. All of a sudden i grab hold of something. I tug on it trying to get it out of the tank. All of a sudden the something tugs back at me. With that scaring the crap out of me, i take my hand out of the tank. Go inside the plane to see what's happening. Turns out a dude was using the bathroom, taking a number 2 (with a number 1 as well), and he felt his number 1 being grabbed.

son :x
Imagine taking a deuce and feeling something grab your piece

 

[Betonblck]

Posted this in t.a.n. and they told me to put it here.


I clean the airplane bathroom tanks. So a tank doesn't seem to be emptying correctly so, I get my heavy duty cleaning gloves and proceed to stick my hand in the tank. So I'm feeling around trying to see what's stuck. All of a sudden i grab hold of something. I tug on it trying to get it out of the tank. All of a sudden the something tugs back at me. With that scaring the crap out of me, i take my hand out of the tank. Go inside the plane to see what's happening. Turns out a dude was using the bathroom, taking a number 2 (with a number 1 as well), and he felt his number 1 being grabbed.

That is hilarious and ayo. Did homie know it was you tugging on his manhood? Hahaha

I wouldn't have even shared that. Thats the type of thing you take to the grave. :x

 

[mitchellicious]

Posted this in t.a.n. and they told me to put it here.

I clean the airplane bathroom tanks. So a tank doesn't seem to be emptying correctly so, I get my heavy duty cleaning gloves and proceed to stick my hand in the tank. So I'm feeling around trying to see what's stuck. All of a sudden i grab hold of something. I tug on it trying to get it out of the tank. All of a sudden the something tugs back at me. With that scaring the crap out of me, i take my hand out of the tank. Go inside the plane to see what's happening. Turns out a dude was using the bathroom, taking a number 2 (with a number 1 as well), and he felt his number 1 being grabbed.

Bruh. I started crying