Crazy stories from your job.

This was in 2006 when I was working for Circuit City.

This dude comes in and goes to the TV dept. Dude looks Somalian. He's talking to my boy while I'm goofing around by the customer service counter. All of a sudden I hear "REALLY?" and we all go to see what happened. Somalian pooed himself. It wasn't a log, either. It was runny yellow fragrant egg diarrhea. He's standing there like nothing happened, trying to talk TVs and my dude is all "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU."

Manager walks over, and we see him come around the corner and his face goes from inquisitive to vile disgust. He tells Somalian to go clean himself up. If you remember the freestanding stores, they had a racetrack setup that circled the store. Somalian goes the long way around the racetrack to the bathroom, dripping his runs all along the way. Customers are laughing, yelling, retching, everything. Somalian comes out 10 minutes later... and instead of cleaning off his leg, he SMEARED the squirts around his leg... so he has one dark brown leg and one yellow leg.

His sock is yellow, his shoe is ruined, and he comes back to TVs and tells my boy "I want that one." My boy goes to ring it up, and the whole time this chick that worked the counter is chastising him, talking 'bout "You should be ASHAMED of yourself. Coming in here, soiling yourself, and pretending it's nothing. You smell that on you and you don't even care. You're a grown man and you're soiling yourself like a child. You have problems. You're disgusting and embarrassing." She's just laying into Somalian, and he's giving ZERO dambs. Credit card he tried using was stolen. He messed himself thinking in the distraction no one would notice.

He's leaving, and we're at the door, pointing and laughing at him. He trudges across the parking lot, and sits in his car like it's nothing. Soiled shorts, yellow leg and all.

Most hilarious part is halfway through all that this cat from car audio comes in from lunch with a fresh bag of Subway and immediately asks "WHAT HAPPENED?" We pointed to ground zero, he retches and throws his food in the trash. Somalian comes walking back from the bathroom after painting his leg and dude yells at him "THANKS A LOT YOU ARSEHOLE!"
 
I work in an emergency dept and this one patient comes in by EMS with a thumper (automatic cpr) and starts coding in front of the hospital.  So EMS uses a defibrillator on pt and literally BURST into flames.  Something with the thumper must've sparked or something, but pt's back was burnt from back to face, hair singed.  Not sure if the EMS crew is still employed.  Happy new year
 
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chickhien said:
any updates on Lorenzo? or was that from another thread
Click to expand...
You're in the right thread, but I've been out from work since mid-December after slicing my finger pretty badly. I go back to work this weekend.  Best believe I'll keep everyone updated if I get a new story.
 
rck2sactown said:
More info on that story and about sexual harassment, those are always funny :lol:
Click to expand...

It was an everyday thing lol. Sometimes we would do mailings in the middle of the office right by her office and she would throw like Tootsee Roll or something on her little iHome and come out twerking it. To which we would all yell stuff like, "Damn girl! What you got in there?" or "Pull over! That a** is too fat!" And it would always get ruined and super awkward by the kid who sneezed and hugged her in the previous story. He would say something along the lines of, "Damn Val... I'm tryna' put it in your butt." Everyone would get real quiet and she would go back into her office and turn the music off.

Or the Loan Closer who's desk was next to hers... She was in her early 30's, relatively attractive, big fake boobs. Used to tell us on a weekly basis that if she ever gave any of us the opportunity to bang her, she would rock our world. And every Monday she would tell us about her weekend sexcapades with her boyfriend.

I'm sure I'll think of more.
 
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Destination Kicks said:
It was an everyday thing lol. Sometimes we would do mailings in the middle of the office right by her office and she would throw like Tootsee Roll or something on her little iHome and come out twerking it. To which we would all yell stuff like, "Damn girl! What you got in there?" or "Pull over! That a** is too fat!" And it would always get ruined and super awkward by the kid who sneezed and hugged her in the previous story. He would say something along the lines of, "Damn Val... I'm tryna' put it in your butt." Everyone would get real quiet and she would go back into her office and turn the music off.
Or the Loan Closer who's desk was next to hers... She was in her early 30's, relatively attractive, big fake boobs. Used to tell us on a weekly basis that if she ever gave any of us the opportunity to bang her, she would rock our world. And every Monday she would tell us about her weekend sexcapades with her boyfriend.
I'm sure I'll think of more.
Click to expand...

No dambs given about being in the workplace, hahaha...
 
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I will elaborate on this story when i get home. It involves my homie banging the breaks off of our manager and her getting blackmailed into thousands of dollars of merchandise walking out the door.
 
rck2sactown said:
Destination Kicks said:
 And it would always get ruined and super awkward by the kid who sneezed and hugged her in the previous story. He would say something along the lines of, "Damn Val... I'm tryna' put it in your butt." Everyone would get real quiet and she would go back into her office and turn the music off.
Click to expand...
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Click to expand...
I know this type :rofl: :rofl: Friends that always want to take the joke too far with some extra outlandish statement. Got tot he point they'd do it on purpose to kill the fun early. HILARIOUS :rofl:
 
Alright so the year was 2001 and I was a senior in High school. I worked two part time jobs just to save up bread for college. The first job was at Great American cookie and the second was Finishline. I loved the Finishline job because it was such a chill job. The only downside was our Manager was a huge B. She was about 43-45, no college degree, divorcee and just not very attractive at all. She just seemed to dislike anyone that had a future ahead of them. Well she would micro manage the hell out of us and we hated it but we loved the job and the crew that worked there. As long as she wasnt on your schedule is was all good. We used to always joke that she would calm down if she just got some D. Well we had this one guy named Laron who was about 21 in college and gave no dambs when it came to women and looks. So in about Nov 2001 he starts just randomly saying very flirtatious stuff to her on a dare from a coworker. Little comments like "Yo you looking good today" just to start out. By Xmas time dude is straight telling her that he wanna hang out with her after hours. Thing is she seems down but doesnt want to let on with all of us around. So Xmas comes and goes then Jan comes and goes. Start of Feb everyone notices that they start acting different around each other. Laron would not look her in the face for nothing. Even she calmed down with the micro managing. We joke about it but he brushes it off. Enter our coworker Anthony. Dude had been working there since he was 16 (now 22) and he keeps joking "I know whats up with them". We ask him to spill it but dude is not saying anything. We figure dude is pulling our leg so we let it go. During this time my homegirl took notice that Ant had new shoes like every 4-5 days. He kept saying his mom broke him off a piece of some settlement check from her car accident. Once again we think nothing of it so we let it go. Fast forward a month later around March. I see my homegirl who is also one of the assistant managers at Walmart. She passes by and was like " Yo you heard what happened to Ant, Laron and Judith (Manager)?" Im like no. She says apparently the main office caught on to Ant stealing shoes so they questioned him on it. Buddy spilled the beans and said Judith let him get away with it from Xmas till early March because he walked in on Laron plowing the cheeks in the back stockroom. Ant told her " Let me take whatever i want when i want or Im snitching." She was scared so she went along. Well Laron said since you just letting shoes go Imma swipe a few pair too. The amount totaled up to about $7000 in kicks and merchandise. After they canned ole girl they made my homegirl the Manager. I also heard rumor that Ant blackmailed her into providing the dome in the back a few times :lol:
 
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dnycemodel said:
Alright so the year was 2001 and I was a senior in High school. I worked two part time jobs just to save up bread for college. The first job was at Great American cookie and the second was Finishline. I loved the Finishline job because it was such a chill job. The only downside was our Manager was a huge B. She was about 43-45, no college degree, divorcee and just not very attractive at all. She just seemed to dislike anyone that had a future ahead of them. Well she would micro manage the hell out of us and we hated it but we loved the job and the crew that worked there. As long as she wasnt on your schedule is was all good. We used to always joke that she would calm down if she just got some D. Well we had this one guy named Laron who was about 21 in college and gave no dambs when it came to women and looks. So in about Nov 2001 he starts just randomly saying very flirtatious stuff to her on a dare from a coworker. Little comments like "Yo you looking good today" just to start out. By Xmas time dude is straight telling her that he wanna hang out with her after hours. Thing is she seems down but doesnt want to let on with all of us around. So Xmas comes and goes then Jan comes and goes. Start of Feb everyone notices that they start acting different around each other. Laron would not look her in the face for nothing. Even she calmed down with the micro managing. We joke about it but he brushes it off. Enter our coworker Anthony. Dude had been working there since he was 16 (now 22) and he keeps joking "I know whats up with them". We ask him to spill it but dude is not saying anything. We figure dude is pulling our leg so we let it go. During this time my homegirl took notice that Ant had new shoes like every 4-5 days. He kept saying his mom broke him off a piece of some settlement check from her car accident. Once again we think nothing of it so we let it go. Fast forward a month later around March. I see my homegirl who is also one of the assistant managers at Walmart. She passes by and was like " Yo you heard what happened to Ant, Laron and Judith (Manager)?" Im like no. She says apparently the main office caught on to Ant stealing shoes so they questioned him on it. Buddy spilled the beans and said Judith let him get away with it from Xmas till early March because he walked in on Laron plowing the cheeks in the back stockroom. Ant told her " Let me take whatever i want when i want or Im snitching." She was scared so she went along. Well Laron said since you just letting shoes go Imma swipe a few pair too. The amount totaled up to about $7000 in kicks and merchandise. After they canned ole girl they made my homegirl the Manager. I also heard rumor that Ant blackmailed her into providing the dome in the back a few times :lol:
Click to expand...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I'm in tears.

From this and what my boys have told me about their jobs at Shoe City, working at shoe stores is constant lulz
 
Space DooDoo Pistols said:
This was in 2006 when I was working for Circuit City.

This dude comes in and goes to the TV dept. Dude looks Somalian. He's talking to my boy while I'm goofing around by the customer service counter. All of a sudden I hear "REALLY?" and we all go to see what happened. Somalian pooed himself. It wasn't a log, either. It was runny yellow fragrant egg diarrhea. He's standing there like nothing happened, trying to talk TVs and my dude is all "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU."

Manager walks over, and we see him come around the corner and his face goes from inquisitive to vile disgust. He tells Somalian to go clean himself up. If you remember the freestanding stores, they had a racetrack setup that circled the store. Somalian goes the long way around the racetrack to the bathroom, dripping his runs all along the way. Customers are laughing, yelling, retching, everything. Somalian comes out 10 minutes later... and instead of cleaning off his leg, he SMEARED the squirts around his leg... so he has one dark brown leg and one yellow leg.

His sock is yellow, his shoe is ruined, and he comes back to TVs and tells my boy "I want that one." My boy goes to ring it up, and the whole time this chick that worked the counter is chastising him, talking 'bout "You should be ASHAMED of yourself. Coming in here, soiling yourself, and pretending it's nothing. You smell that on you and you don't even care. You're a grown man and you're soiling yourself like a child. You have problems. You're disgusting and embarrassing." She's just laying into Somalian, and he's giving ZERO dambs. Credit card he tried using was stolen. He messed himself thinking in the distraction no one would notice.

He's leaving, and we're at the door, pointing and laughing at him. He trudges across the parking lot, and sits in his car like it's nothing. Soiled shorts, yellow leg and all.

Most hilarious part is halfway through all that this cat from car audio comes in from lunch with a fresh bag of Subway and immediately asks "WHAT HAPPENED?" We pointed to ground zero, he retches and throws his food in the trash. Somalian comes walking back from the bathroom after painting his leg and dude yells at him "THANKS A LOT YOU ARSEHOLE!"
Click to expand...
lmfaooo who cleaned it up
 
Damn this thread got me excited to start my new job on Tuesday :rofl:smokin:lol:. This dude Rusty..I believe you brah you can't eeem make dis **** up. You should really think about writing a book..on some Tucker Max type ****..Life and Times of Rusty Vol. 1 8)
 
I'd recommend not reading the below...i typed it out and then scrolled and realized what a unnecessarily long story it is. :smh: Interesting to me though..another world

Okay, so last year I was working at a public school teaching in South Korea. During the week the work attitude is cereal. People show up early, they stay late, everyone wears nice clothes, etc. It's a lot more serious of an environment in my opinion than public schools in the US. Anyways, my desk was in a room with all the subject teachers. Lucky me, it was me, one other foreign chick, this pyscho guy, and 10 chicks. All the chicks were average to hot and early 20's to late 20's. Not giving a damb since I'm in a foreign country I slowly tried to put in work with all of them but I could barely get more than a few sentences out of them. Might of been the office situation, might of been cuz the Korean guy in the room always was loud and saying over stepping the line comments(i.e how much is your new purse?). Honestly though, was just trying to make some friends too so I could chat with people when I wasn't working.

Anyways, so in Korea there is this wildness called 'work dinner meeting'. Basically, your department or your entire company goes together to a restaurant and you are required to get drunk. It's a way for Koreans to relax and let their guard down since they don't do it at work. I had no idea what the deal was. I am sitting on the floor and at first everyone (65 people from the school came) is just having nice normal dinner conversations. About 20 minutes in, it's time for a toast and the alky starts flowing. I've never seen such a dramatic change. Everyone, literally everyone, minus maybe 3 people driving cars, got just hammered. I was the equivalent of 10 shots in and old 65 year old dude is sitting next to me spitting on pre-war English. Anyways, of course my usual reason for drinking is so talk to girls..so my instincts took over even tho it seemed like a terrible idea logically.

I didn't have to do anything actually..all the young teachers came over to me. Surprised me like crazy cuz they all could barely get out of a sentence or two to me at school in English. Now, they were all speaking fluently cracking jokes, showing me drinking games.

After this is over, it's time to go sing. Couldn't be more embarrassing. We go to the karaoke bar to continue drinking. I'm forced to do a song. I sing my heart will go on so that way at least i can get a few chicks up there to put me out of misery and they'd take over..plan succeeded. At this point it's about 2:30 am. Crazy enough, Koreans usually work on Saturday (was Friday night dinner) so they all had to go to work at 9 am. I'm beat at this point and just want to get home. Luckily, about a 5 minute walk. All night, I've been spitting game at this absolute cutie..looked like a real life Sailor Moon. So I'm going to leave and trying to find a sneaky way to see if she'll walk with me. She told me she lives close to me and was gonna walk home as well at some point. It's not easy to make a sneaky getaway when you are the only foreigner in the room. I told her, I'll walk you home, meet me outside in 5? She surprisingly said yeah sure. I go outside and wait. A few minutes later she comes outside. I'm doing a little mental dance of happiness at this point. Then suddenly, storming out of the door comes the vice principal of the school, some 50 year old or so dude. He is obliterated drunk. He spots us and runs over and throws the triple hug at us and is pulling us to come back and sing michael Jackson songs lol. I knew it was a make/break moment with this girl and who knows in this country how many chances I'd get at it. I said yeah sure, but told her to wait right there. I walked him back inside, and as soon as he got back into the main door, did a quick spin and ran out the exit lol. I just figured he'd forget everything by the next morning lol. Luckily, it worked and I walked back with her. Invited her up for a night cap. Yambs were gotten. Was a jungle down there, but was sooo good and fun in our mental state.

Of course, she lives with her parents (like all non married people in Korea) so she said she had to go home afterwards. I said yeah, just take a cab i'll walk you to the cab station (a few minutes from my place walk). We get dressed and I look sex'd hair up and a mess. I'm with her at the cab stop being a gentleman. She gets in a cab and i'm just standing there with a goofy grin on my face thinking about what i just pulled off. Then, some lady is right behind me and yells my name. Damn near had a heart attack it was so unexpected. It was another lady from my school. About 40. She is asking me all sorts of questions and demanding I go to her house for a nightcap. Not in a sexual way (i don't think)..she is just wild and wanted to keep partying. She won't take no for an answer though I try hard to get out of it. Her husband pulls up and she says he's coming with us and he doesn't even second guess it lol and we go to their nice apartment. We get there and i feel hella akward at this point. We are sitting in a brightly lit kitchen at 4:30 am having wine and eating crackers and just talking nonsense. I make my excuses and dip out of there, get some ramyeon from the 7-11, and walk the 5 minutes home.
 
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