Confessions

I was talking about this

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i turn 25 tomorrow and i honestly couldnt care less. i just want to go train tomorrow after class and work
Word, people act like cause it's their birthday the world is suppose to stop and you're suppose to spend your last dollar on them.
 
Damn that J chick is now in a relationship. Heart sank but no worries, I'll get this money soon and I'll have like 6 of her.
 
I felt that way when I was younger. Then me and my sister got close. Idk tho. I have tried to contact my college friends they dont pick up their phone though. So I am looking for a new crew. But I aint desperate for one. I am fine on my own. I go to movies by myself, no problem.

I just do me. If I end up with no friends and no *****, well good for me.
 
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I think I jerk off a lot because when I bust I feel something, I feel very empty. I'm too afraid of rejection to seek out real
yambs, and the girls I'm interested in either don't care or don't know about my existence.

I feel like I care about my friends more than they care about me, and I'm more loyal to
them than they are to me.

This is going to sound cliche, but I wish I could see what people would say/do if I was dead.

Man all this :{
Ever since I got laid off 2 weeks ago, **** has gone downhill
I'm bored, close to depressed, might as well break up with my bipolar girl, lonely, dont feel like I'mma ever be **** in life. I smile and laugh in the presence of others to make it seem like everything is alright but its not. This sucks :{
 
I seriously need to control my anger..
I used to be here, I didn't get over my anger issues until 5-6 months ago. 

I got mad over a lot of things, then when I calmed down I realized that it could have been handled a lot better and then I had to apologize to the people I insulted or offended. Over time I learned that being upset over the small things was a waste of my time. It's a lot easier living positively than angrily. I've progressed so far in my studies since I'm not spending my time calming down anymore. And I've gotten a lot closer with my girlfriend since I can talk to her instead of being mad. 

Just take the time to think. Anger isn't the only option. Most of the time when you're angry you probably think of things to make you angrier just to stay mad. It's just not the smart decision. 

Good luck fam
I'm closer to my friends then my own famb.

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I'm the same, I'm thankful that my family took care of me. But they treated me like crap. I spent most of my childhood outside mostly because if I went inside I would be living in hell. Only went inside to eat, shower and sleep. I wait for the days I can move to a location they will never learn.
 
My flesh, no ***** can test. My soul is possessed by d'evils in the form of diamonds and lexuses.

That lyric keeps repeating in my mind after another conversation with my mom.

Now I am going to keep thinking about what if money is not all I want in life and I realize this too late. :/ I think she is thinking about what I said to her too tho.
 
Last time I posted I went hard at some post but it was never about what my brother did but what he had. A lot of dudes have families or girls they can really trust and for me I am envious because I have always wanted a down chick and to raise a boy/girl and guess have that fairytale and as time goes on and being hurt by people I gave a sh*t about I have built walls and find myself at war... A part of me knows my anger/depression is killing me and holding on to this hurt and lame circle of friends is dragging me down and I want to change and be more positive and try a relationship one more time but the other side gives into the darkness... All I want at the end is to just be happy with my choices and become different... Just tired of the *******t.... "This can't be life, there's gotta be more"(jayz,beanie Siegel)
 
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Last time I posted I went hard at some post but it was never about what my brother did but what he had. A lot of dudes have families or girls they can really trust and for me I am envious because I have always wanted a down chick and to raise a boy/girl and guess have that fairytale and as time goes on and being hurt by people I gave a sh*t about I have built walls and find myself at war... A part of me knows my anger/depression is killing me and holding on to this hurt and lame circle of friends is dragging me down and I want to change and be more positive and try a relationship one more time but the other side gives into the darkness... All I want at the end is to just be happy with my choices and become different... Just tired of the *******t.... "This can't be life, there's gotta be more"(jayz,beanie Siegel)
I'm at the same stage bro.  Honestly, money makes me feel better.  That's about the only tip I can give for real.  I've given up on loving people and just focus on loving the hustle.  Family, friends...pah.  Go for self homie.  In the 21st century, it's all about you.  
 
So today I found out that my boss isn't paying me the right amount of commission I am supposed to Get. So I am really frustrated and I wanna quit and work in a corporate store. But yoo SRS brah if I get a new line the store makes around 200$ and he only give me 10 where he can at least give us 20 plus we are supposed to get money for doing prepaid account which we dont get a penny for. This Bengali ppl bro so greedy b. Hate my own race
 
I'm at the same stage bro.  Honestly, money makes me feel better.  That's about the only tip I can give for real.  I've given up on loving people and just focus on loving the hustle.  Family, friends...pah.  Go for self homie.  In the 21st century, it's all about you.  
I feel u but I got money but nobody to spend it on... I mean I help my mom out and my nieces and nephew get stuff but real spit it's nothing like being in love man... As corny as that sh*t sounds... I just miss that connection with a chick that you care about( like the type of girl that after u smash u talk and you don't mind fixing her something to eat type sh*t)... Stop smashing random chicks a year ago because that sh*t made me feel hella empty... Looking to go back to school since my job is making cuts... Been hella lucky I know how to play the "game" to stay employed but some days I wake up and look around and just feel great and then other days its just like man wtf.... Just tired of the anger I have and tired of hanging with people who are quick to critique but when you go in on their *** they get sensitive... Just need a new surrounding and maybe the possibilities will open up.... Just tired of my own rhetoric.... Just try to find my place but it would be nice to find a chick as well that we can just chill and actually have fun...sorry for depressing rant.... It's true everyday you have a choice to change but man that past hurt.... Just tired of being in my own head
 
I'm going through some tough depression right now

Failing my classes at college, no job, broke, horrible with women, and getting fatter by the hour :lol.

I feel like an idiot for being in college so long and have not learned a damn thing. :{

Only thing i enjoy is Film and i never filmed a damn thing in my life

I just want to move and start over somewhere else.
 
I'm at the same stage bro.  Honestly, money makes me feel better.  That's about the only tip I can give for real.  I've given up on loving people and just focus on loving the hustle.  Family, friends...pah.  Go for self homie.  In the 21st century, it's all about you.  
I feel u but I got money but nobody to spend it on... I mean I help my mom out and my nieces and nephew get stuff but real spit it's nothing like being in love man... As corny as that sh*t sounds... I just miss that connection with a chick that you care about( like the type of girl that after u smash u talk and you don't mind fixing her something to eat type sh*t)... Stop smashing random chicks a year ago because that sh*t made me feel hella empty... Looking to go back to school since my job is making cuts... Been hella lucky I know how to play the "game" to stay employed but some days I wake up and look around and just feel great and then other days its just like man wtf.... Just tired of the anger I have and tired of hanging with people who are quick to critique but when you go in on their *** they get sensitive... Just need a new surrounding and maybe the possibilities will open up.... Just tired of my own rhetoric.... Just try to find my place but it would be nice to find a chick as well that we can just chill and actually have fun...sorry for depressing rant.... It's true everyday you have a choice to change but man that past hurt.... Just tired of being in my own head


maybe you need a change of scenery man.


if it wasnt for certain obligations i wouldve picked up and left along time ago.
 
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