Confessions

So today I found out that my boss isn't paying me the right amount of commission I am supposed to Get. So I am really frustrated and I wanna quit and work in a corporate store. But yoo SRS brah if I get a new line the store makes around 200$ and he only give me 10 where he can at least give us 20 plus we are supposed to get money for doing prepaid account which we dont get a penny for. This Bengali ppl bro so greedy b. Hate my own race

Retailers suck **** I was there and quit. Corporate is way to go
 
I can't stop spending money. I'm 18 and ran through over $5000 since my 18th birthday last April.

When I'm out I buy drinks for everyone I like. I feel like because I have a lot of money for my age and never worked a day (besides investing,stocks etc.) I should spread around the love. On one hand it makes me feel good but then I feel like I'm wasting too much.
strong username to post content ratio
 

Just forget about trying to be good. Play to have fun and everything will fall in its place. You have fun, you'll feel good and have more confidence and will play better.
 
So today I found out that my boss isn't paying me the right amount of commission I am supposed to Get. So I am really frustrated and I wanna quit and work in a corporate store. But yoo SRS brah if I get a new line the store makes around 200$ and he only give me 10 where he can at least give us 20 plus we are supposed to get money for doing prepaid account which we dont get a penny for. This Bengali ppl bro so greedy b. Hate my own race


Can you prove you arent being paid what you're suppose to? Have you contacted corporate?
 
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I'm not suicidal but I really want to die.

Don't know if this makes sense but I am not actively suicidal. I just don't take my medication as I should, abuse my vicodin prescription, put myself in dangerous situations, etc. I won't drink and drive, but I'll get in the car with someone who is drunk enough to end up in the hospital from that alone. However I wont jump in front of a moving truck or anything.

When I got into a car crash I thought that was it for me. Somehow I came out of the wreckage unscathed. Refused to go to the hospital though.
 
I'm not suicidal but I really want to die.

Don't know if this makes sense but I am not actively suicidal. I just don't take my medication as I should, abuse my vicodin prescription, put myself in dangerous situations, etc. I won't drink and drive, but I'll get in the car with someone who is drunk enough to end up in the hospital from that alone. However I wont jump in front of a moving truck or anything.

When I got into a car crash I thought that was it for me. Somehow I came out of the wreckage unscathed. Refused to go to the hospital though.

i felt like that the beginning of the year too. except i was on sleeping pills. just felt so depressed. the lowest i ever felt in my entire life

at one point i was taking like 4 a night and downing them with liquor
 
I'm not suicidal but I really want to die.

Don't know if this makes sense but I am not actively suicidal. I just don't take my medication as I should, abuse my vicodin prescription, put myself in dangerous situations, etc. I won't drink and drive, but I'll get in the car with someone who is drunk enough to end up in the hospital from that alone. However I wont jump in front of a moving truck or anything.

When I got into a car crash I thought that was it for me. Somehow I came out of the wreckage unscathed. Refused to go to the hospital though.
nice.

dude, pls kill yourself and come and tell us how it went.

Im interested on what it feels like to die. I'd like to experience that but be able to come back and say I died (to myself). I think dying is like getting a concussion. Your head probably starts spinning in delirium and then it goes blank then there's nothing.
 
Man up Charles lol

Will do! :lol

I'm not suicidal but I really want to die.

Don't know if this makes sense but I am not actively suicidal. I just don't take my medication as I should, abuse my vicodin prescription, put myself in dangerous situations, etc. I won't drink and drive, but I'll get in the car with someone who is drunk enough to end up in the hospital from that alone. However I wont jump in front of a moving truck or anything.

When I got into a car crash I thought that was it for me. Somehow I came out of the wreckage unscathed. Refused to go to the hospital though.

I know the feel man, I test my limits even with my heart issues. I run extra miles even though I know I shouldn't. I wear shorts and a t-shirt in the snow. But recently I'm trying to turn myself around eating healthy and pacing myself. Try to optimize your current self before you destroy it.

nice.

dude, pls kill yourself and come and tell us how it went.

Im interested on what it feels like to die. I'd like to experience that but be able to come back and say I died (to myself). I think dying is like getting a concussion. Your head probably starts spinning in delirium and then it goes blank then there's nothing.

I started reading that like >D but then I got it by the middle.

I saw something really interesting on a man who studied what it's like to die of a cocaine overdose. So he snorted a mountain of coke and wrote a journal about it as he was drawing his last breaths. It was interesting because he started losing motor functions and by the end it was just scribbles on a wall.
 
Today is my girls birthday and I did not want to do a single thing for her. She didn't do a damn thing for my birthday last year or for Valentine's this year. I deserve better *Sigh*
 
I've never been this vulnerable and hurt.

I didn't deserve this.
Famb
frown.gif


Time.......time.
 
Today is my girls birthday and I did not want to do a single thing for her. She didn't do a damn thing for my birthday last year or for Valentine's this year. I deserve better *Sigh*

If you say you deserve better, but don't do anyone to make it better then you're not going to get anywhere. Communication will take you far bruh. Tell your girl that she hasn't done crap for you, and that if she wants you to do things for her that she needs to do things for you.


Not a hard concept :lol
 
Not having no luck anymore on OKC. Just need a new Fwb.

Becoming distanced from people I thought was friends

Still no job and don't start school again till summer semester

Lately I been drinking about 4 times a week and at this rate I will crash
 
Ok So I Got Kicked Out Of The Place I Was Living..This Girl Would Take Me To Go Get Certain Things For Her And Her Boss..She Has 2 Cute Kids A Husband In Prison And A Good Job..She Lives With Her Sister..Shes Real Big But Pretty But I Couldnt Get Sexually Attracted But I Pretended Like I Liked Her And She Started Buying Me this Weekly Motel Plus Spending On Me A Lot With Her Income Tax And Letting Me Drive Her Car..One Day I Picked Up My Baby Moms On The Other Side Of Town And We Was Going To Make Moves When This Truck Blew A Stop Sign, Smashed The Front Of The Car, And Drove Off. I Didnt Have A License So I Dropped BM Off and Drove Back To My Side Of Town....I Went To My Boys House Asked Him What I Should Do And He Had His Uncle Take The Car To An Alley And Leave It Parked Running..When She Called Me To Pick Her Up I Acted Like I Went Outside And The Car Was Gone..She Filed A Police Report They Came Questioned Me Etc..They Still Havent Found It Two Weeks Later..I Moved In With My Boy Cuz She Couldnt Afford To Keep Me Up Anymore..The Other Day Her Boss Wanted 450 Worth Of Some Stuff And Shawty Had Threw In 90..Her Boss Drove Me From A Gas Station To My Boys And I Went In Ran Out The Back Door And Went To The Malll...Today My Phone Bill Was Due Prepaid..I Called PMT And Her Card Was On File So I Used It...Whew...Ive Ruined Several Other Womens Lives Similar To This
 
Will do! :lol
I know the feel man, I test my limits even with my heart issues. I run extra miles even though I know I shouldn't. I wear shorts and a t-shirt in the snow. But recently I'm trying to turn myself around eating healthy and pacing myself. Try to optimize your current self before you destroy it.
I started reading that like >D but then I got it by the middle.

I saw something really interesting on a man who studied what it's like to die of a cocaine overdose. So he snorted a mountain of coke and wrote a journal about it as he was drawing his last breaths. It was interesting because he started losing motor functions and by the end it was just scribbles on a wall.
Projects I am working on:
I go to the gym 3 times a week. May have to kick it to 4x a week.
Passing the CPA exam
Saving money to move back to Chicago
Saving money for a really nice tattoo
Saving money to remove 2 tattoos that was done horribly
Soon starting to learn to cook outside of breakfast traditional African Foods
Soon (but not too soon) start improving my formal attire. I don't want to buy a bunch of suits now since I go to the gym hoping to one day get bigger. Also the reason I havent started my tattoo sleeve
Want to learn spanish but that is not a priority. Once I have accomplished a few things above, I will start that.

Once that CPA Exam is passed that will be a lot of weight off my shoulders. Taking the first part on the 12th, the next the 3rd of May and the third the 31st part of May. Taking the last part as soon as possible when the next testing window opens.

Today is my girls birthday and I did not want to do a single thing for her. She didn't do a damn thing for my birthday last year or for Valentine's this year. I deserve better *Sigh*
c'mon son. That's her holiday anyway. I'm in no place to judge but idk when men started to care for that holiday.
 
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Met a girl in class, vibed a little, found out she has a bf. problem is i think i like her. like like her. i dun goofed so hard idk what to do.
 
Projects I am working on:
I go to the gym 3 times a week. May have to kick it to 4x a week.

That sounds good. Getting swoll for the masses :lol

Make sure you're eating right as well, I was exercising daily, but I ended up malnourished and dehydrated. :x still recovering fully.
Passing the CPA exam

Education is a big one. This is a good goal.

Saving money to move back to Chicago
Saving money for a really nice tattoo
Saving money to remove 2 tattoos that was done horribly

This is why you gotta plan tattoos carefully :lol

I didn't know you left chi though? Why would you want to move back anyway? You said you hated it there and you would rather love in NYC.

Soon starting to learn to cook outside of breakfast traditional African Foods
Soon (but not too soon) start improving my formal attire. I don't want to buy a bunch of suits now since I go to the gym hoping to one day get bigger. Also the reason I havent started my tattoo sleeve

What types of African foods do you cook? 8o

Want to learn spanish but that is not a priority. Once I have accomplished a few things above, I will start that.

Rosetta Stone is actually a really good program when you're trying to learn Spanish.it will cost $400 for all 5 levels but it teaches you at an astounding rate. I watched as my friend went from barely knowing juevos to being able to speak full sentences in a few weeks.

Once that CPA Exam is passed that will be a lot of weight off my shoulders. Taking the first part on the 12th, the next the 3rd of May and the third the 31st part of May. Taking the last part as soon as possible when the next testing window opens.

Good luck
 
- I was feelin my boy's sister for like a year but I never made a move. idk why, still kinda think about her to this day lol
- I stay getting angry. idk why, every little thing makes me mad. I've been better recently, but it's still happening.
- I need to get in shape but I always lose motivation and never do it
- I'm a pretty outgoing person, but I still really prefer to be by myself sometimes. dunno why
- No idea what imma do when I graduate. That kinda scares me

that's all I can think of for now 

This. Getting mad is just a phase. Its because there is a lot of stress. Once thats gone, you'll get less angry.
 
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