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Like I said before, you are at that IDGAF mode.
When I say that, think Al Bundy and Peg. Hey, let him work hard so I don't have to.
To say that IDGAF is the exact opposite of what I am saying.... That mentality is "go out and do what you want because I don't care". I am saying that she can do what she wants because I trust her to not do anything inappropriate to sully our relationship. Same now as it was 20 years ago. I would absolutely care if she came home and said that she had an inappropriate dalliance, but I sleep very well at night knowing that would never happen. Not because I said so or set boundaries, but because she is a good woman and would not endanger what we have built together.
You are really missing the point. Additionally, you are bringing ideas into the conversation that are far from the truth.
I will end with this and respond no further:
I hope that (all of) you can find a person with whom you can build a life with that will respect and trust you and the bond that you have built.