Women: Does a real man raise his voice at you?

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by FromThaTown

Seriously, I haven't lay hands on my girl, but I always think in the back of my mind if I did, and she calls it quits. She's hella weak. Especially when it's her fault too. I ain't gonna lay hands on my girl unless she was really insulting me in the most degradable way. Americans tend to think that Men beating on women is all the man's fault. When really, women use that to their advantage, and they just pick up that phone to call 911 to get their men in trouble.

she weak if she breaks up with you after you hit her????? serious???? maybe i'm reading it wrong...

Hell yeah I'm serious. I think Domestic issues are not put REALLY in the open. I've seen long lasting marriages from some domesticviolences. It's an issue that doesn't get brought to the open. I'm gonna be real with NT. My dad beat on my mom when he was younger. He beat metoo. In fact, has anybody on NT seen their pops or mom get hit and they still have a good marriage? I never understood it until I grew up. But people are undera lot of stress. People can change. My dad wouldn't dare lay hands on my mom NOW. He has acknowledge that he is wrong. and if he tries he has two grown essson stopping that nonscense.My mom and dad's relationship going on 35 years is better than a newlywed couple. That's why I said she's weak. Awoman may be part of the problem too. If a man beats her for no reason, just for the sake of control, then he's trippin. People like to put their solutionin black and white. But lets say you love your BF like crazy and then 1 day he decides to lay hands on you because you push his buttons. Will YOU truthfullydrop him? He is perfect to you as a BF except he lay hands on you once. BTW I'm not promoting domestic violence. I'm saying woman are just as abusiveas men, and they should give their man a chance unless he's the type of dude that is psycho, and will go off on you anytime.

 

[mytmouse76]

#!## that... a ___ hits me its a wrap...you really think what held your parents together is the fact that he hit her? so because i leave someone who hits mei'm weak... there are better ways to communicate stress or whatever than hitting...we're not 5 we can use our big boy/girl words and talk...you shoveme i MIGHT be able to get over that...maybe not cuz i can hold a grudge...but you strike me...thats it for you...cousins/brother/day are getting calledquick...

 

[west2east]

I'm with Miss Mouse. I'm not for getting hit whatsoever. Doesn't matter what I grew up with. I refuse to let that jade me and let me believe thatway of life is normal.

There are men who never once put hands on his wife and have been together for 35 years so what are you tryna say? That you HAVE to give people chances? Peoplecan change but no one should just have to put up with abuse while they wait for that change.

 

[mister friendly]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

#!## that... a ___ hits me its a wrap...you really think what held your parents together is the fact that he hit her? so because i leave someone who hits me i'm weak... there are better ways to communicate stress or whatever than hitting...we're not 5 we can use our big boy/girl words and talk...you shove me i MIGHT be able to get over that...maybe not cuz i can hold a grudge...but you strike me...thats it for you...cousins/brother/day are getting called quick...

I dont think he's talking about girls like you presumably are who talk normally. But there are some girls who actually hit dudes,talk all crazy about dudesfamily. There's a limit in terms of human behavior and reactions.

Me personally I've never hit a woman although I've had cause too but I dont want to go to jail for a female. But I can understand some dudes doing it.

 

[mytmouse76]

i'm just tight over the weak part...i understand that's how he grew up but that doesn't make it "normal" or ok...

 

[nycknicks105]

Everyone is entitled to raise their voice, but a man should never hit a woman.

 

[airjordans23and45]

i will never let a chick get louder than me

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

#!## that... a ___ hits me its a wrap...you really think what held your parents together is the fact that he hit her? so because i leave someone who hits me i'm weak... there are better ways to communicate stress or whatever than hitting...we're not 5 we can use our big boy/girl words and talk...you shove me i MIGHT be able to get over that...maybe not cuz i can hold a grudge...but you strike me...thats it for you...cousins/brother/day are getting called quick...

that's why I call you weak then. The old school folks can take that 1 second of reaction and know, that is not what is meant as far asevaluating the realtionship. You twisting my words if you think my dad hitting my mom made it a successful relationship. I said I've seen many long lastingrelationships come out of domestic violence. Domestic violence is that 1 part of that relationship that happened, it doesn't define it. Women in thisgeneration or in america can't ride ou tthe tough times. Let me ask you this. If a man hits you, do you think it was for fun?????? Especially when he knowshe's in a society that caters to women's rights???? You telling me you didn't say a thing, or do a thing to hurt his feelings?

And as far as leaving him on the spot, I've seen many men from my dad to uncles that smashed on their wives, and they still stayed. That's a strongwoman to me. Cause in the end, a Man has a conscience. He knows when he has done wrong. He will question himself and think" Damn, I really F up." And over time he will change.

 

[mytmouse76]

so if he hurts my feelings i'm allowed to hit him then right?

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by nycknicks105

Everyone is entitled to raise their voice, but a man should never hit a woman.

Look I've never lay hands on my girl, but I do understand for the brothers that get pushed to that point. Not saying it is right or wrong, butit happens. I can say the same thing you just type , but in the long run, over a relationship that my woman knows all my weaknesses, and shes uses it againstme cause I chose to be vulnerable to her. It might make me smash on her. You never know. But do you think in that 1 second of you smashing on your chick,should she call it quits?

 

[mister friendly]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

so if he hurts my feelings i'm allowed to hit him then right?

..I know right..A chick has to do more than just hurt hisfeelings to justify a man putting his hands on her....that is weak

 

[west2east]

There are women who stay and the man changes. There are women who stay and die. Would you really call a woman weak if she decided her life was more important?

You are wayyyy beyond jaded thinking it's an okay way to handle things. Why does the woman have to be weak if she decides to leave? Shouldn't it be theman is weak if he decides to hit her??

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

so if he hurts my feelings i'm allowed to hit him then right?

If you do, then it's up to him to leave the relationship or not. But, you do notice men don't leave right away when they get smashed on bytheir girl. Men feel like they can change u or for one you will change your habits. Men don't go acting like DAMN SHE"S DONE for touching me. Come onnow. there's ups and downs in a relationship.

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by FromThaTown

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

so if he hurts my feelings i'm allowed to hit him then right?

If you do, then it's up to him to leave the relationship or not. But, you do notice men don't leave right away when they get smashed on by their girl. Men feel like they can change u or for one you will change your habits. Men don't go acting like DAMN SHE"S DONE for touching me. Come on now. there's ups and downs in a relationship.

So its cool for us to go at it every now and then cuz we're heated? So does that make the guy weak also? I would guess most men don't leave cuz itdoesn't really hurt. I agree there are ups and downs but we're all grown. No need to go around hitting each other. Like I said after the first timeI'm out cuz what's to say there won't be a second. Now I gotta worry about everytime this __ gets mad or gets his feelings hurt he might hit me.

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by West2East

There are women who stay and the man changes. There are women who stay and die. Would you really call a woman weak if she decided her life was more important?

You are wayyyy beyond jaded thinking it's an okay way to handle things. Why does the woman have to be weak if she decides to leave? Shouldn't it be the man is weak if he decides to hit her??

Read my post before fam, dudes that be abusing their girls are different than dudes that react to their lover's insult. Like I said it'san American society. I think a woman is weak for leaving a 1 time incident of him smashing on her. Maybe even more. Never said it was an okay way of handlingit. I've never smashed on my girl, but it's not out of the realm of possibility, no matter how righteous I try to sound.

 

[iblink]

Originally Posted by Weekend Girl

I'm liable to wild out at times so I need regulation

I can't front, I won't respect a dude if he don't put me in check sometimes. If he ever touches me it's a wrap, though.

Hey... shut the hell up.

 

[misskickback]

i duke it out with my man all the time

 

[The_Isomotion31]

oh we have yelling matches....To the point I look like an NFL coach complaining about a call..

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by FromThaTown

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

so if he hurts my feelings i'm allowed to hit him then right?

If you do, then it's up to him to leave the relationship or not. But, you do notice men don't leave right away when they get smashed on by their girl. Men feel like they can change u or for one you will change your habits. Men don't go acting like DAMN SHE"S DONE for touching me. Come on now. there's ups and downs in a relationship.

So its cool for us to go at it every now and then cuz we're heated? So does that make the guy weak also? I would guess most men don't leave cuz it doesn't really hurt. I agree there are ups and downs but we're all grown. No need to go around hitting each other. Like I said after the first time I'm out cuz what's to say there won't be a second. Now I gotta worry about everytime this __ gets mad or gets his feelings hurt he might hit me.

It doesn't make it cool, but real life relationships are volatile. People might get their point across from speaking and others throughhitting. Yeah the guy is weak if he leaves a abusive relationship. And you are trippin, cause verbal abuse can make a man or woman leaves just as fast. Thenyou know it's really degrading. Day in and Day out listening to the same abuse. You get my point??? A man can be just as abusive through words thanphysical, but just for that 1 time that he lay hands on you, you take it like he done F UP NOW.

 

[mytmouse76]

i'm not takin verbal abuse either...we argue cool...but if you comin at me crazy all the time i'm out...i understand some people are just hot heads butwhat the hell does it take for you to leave if hitting and verbal abuse is "just part of a relationship" or whatever...and no real life relationshipsaren't volatile...not healthy ones at least...

 

[west2east]

There's a difference to you? There is NO distinction to me. Like Miss Mouse already stated, why even stay after one time only to have to constantly worryabout if the next time I make him upset or hurt his feelings he'll hit me?

If other men can express they're hurt, angry, or feeling vulnerable without hitting their significant other, then is it wrong for me to expect that of myman? If I'm not hitting you, why would you hit me?

It's not even just about the fact that you have inflicted physical pain, it's the fact that when a man hits a woman he's violated her trust in away that it is soooo difficult to get back. When you hit another person you are doing so much more than just hitting them.

I really can't just get behind the idea that a woman is weak for staying no matter what the excuse for why it happened. If a woman stays then more power toher, but I can't support that. It isn't my job to put myself at risk waiting for you to become the better person.

 

[mytmouse76]

i love when you call me Miss Mouse...i thought i saw you the other night by the new business building but i don't think it was you...

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by West2East

I'm with Miss Mouse. I'm not for getting hit whatsoever. Doesn't matter what I grew up with. I refuse to let that jade me and let me believe that way of life is normal.

There are men who never once put hands on his wife and have been together for 35 years so what are you tryna say? That you HAVE to give people chances? People can change but no one should just have to put up with abuse while they wait for that change.

you don't HAVE to give people chances, but you should TRY. That's all I'm saying. BTW I'm talking about dudes that get provoked tothe fullest. Insulting family and all that good stuff. Luckily, I've never been insulted like that. However if I did, I don't know what I would dobecause I would call a woman weak too for insulting my family and taking advantage of my vulnerability. So I might react by insulting her family or I justmight smash on her. That's real.

 

[mytmouse76]

sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you...


if you're that hurt by what she said...bounce...

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

i'm not takin verbal abuse either...we argue cool...but if you comin at me crazy all the time i'm out...i understand some people are just hot heads but what the hell does it take for you to leave if hitting and verbal abuse is "just part of a relationship" or whatever...and no real life relationships aren't volatile...not healthy ones at least...

You fulling yourself then to me, cause even healthy relationships have arguments and that can lead to abuse, and even if they paint a perfectrelationship, we all know behind close doors, people in relationships don't agree with each other. They might not do it with insults or violence, but theydo it with sly comments or certain looks that let you know, they not feeling you. And that in itself can lead to verbal abuse or hitting.