Women: Does a real man raise his voice at you?

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

cause even healthy relationships have arguments and that can lead to abuse

your whole argument lies on you opinion that this is right..

a healthy relationship will never yield abuse
My point is healthy relationships have arguments. Whether it's in public or behind close doors, people have arguments in their relationship.Now those arguments or disagreements can be about the topic at hand, or they have other underlining issues. My point is some woman even in good relationships,just don't know when to stop. I mean the dude is already walking away and everything. And then she bring out his family, the kids,everything. A man orwoman has their boiling point. We live in a society where it's wrong from all aspects for a man to hit his girl. But I think people don't see that itcan be provoked by women when a man might reach his boiling point and lay hands on her. Then the woman acts like she has no fault in it? I'm like what? Iknow I use the word abuse, but you can substitute hitting or physically touch her. I think a man should have be given a chance even when he put his hands onher, that's all I've been trying to say. Hanging around way older men in their 40's and 50's, I've come to see, and this is my opinion. Thedudes that don't lay hands on their girls at 1 point in time are more of a scum then the dudes that did. I see these older men that never lay hands ontheir girl just say F it. You're right and I'm wrong with their lady. These men are more dangerous to me cause they hold in that resentment and they gooff and hit all the massage parlors, brothels, and gambling. They cheat on their wives like it's nobodies business. While all the men that I know that didtouch their woman, they evolve to be better listeners and they value the fact that they have done wrong and their woman is still by their side.

 

[mytmouse76]

your logic is all wrong...smh

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by FromThaTown

Originally Posted by heLiumcLinton

dude is really arguing about hitting a female?

the only thing I could think of is his pops must of put the beatdown on his moms and he probably thought it was amusing

my moms got the beatdown occasionally and I'd be in my room like "df?! why don't she leave"

I won't put my hands on my girl but a shake won't hurt

You need to stop thinking. Cause I was always wondering why my mom didn't leave, and I always wanted to call the cops on him, but I never did. See, I see my mom and countless other women that have stayed in these type of relationship as a strong woman because they sacrificed themselves for the unity of family. The woman in this type of relationship didn't take the easy way out by giving up or calling police all day to put their men in jail and taking their dad away from their kids. They did what it took to keep the family together even through tough times. That is sacrifice to the fullest. I can say for my family, that my mom and dad are truly in love. They make small conversations throughout the day, bring lunch for each other, go on little hot dates like they are in high school. And it's a beautiful thing to me, and I have my mom to thank for not giving up on my pops, and I have thanks for my pops for changing. If my mom was one of these woman like today's generation, all ready to leave you over one incident or more. I would have missed out on seeing all the good times that have occurred over time after the physical altercations. That's why I said it's weak if my girl leaves me if I laid hands on her, especially when she can't beat me through words, but she just has to go off topic and insult me or degrade me.

Your dad took the easy way out by beating on your mother. I got your message and I'm not coming at your parents, just the situation. There are some situations where its cool to be weak, abuse is one of them. What would you tell your daughter if her man hit her?

FYI: This week is Teen domestic abuse week...

I would try to find out what happen in the situation, and I would have a sitdown with both of them after I find out why he laid hands on her. Icome from this way of thinking, and it might sound irrational or whatever. But my daughters relationship is not to be interfered with, just like I don'twant people all up in my business with my girl. If my daughter came at me and told me,I would sit down with the kid and evaluate if their relationship isserious and does it have a chance. If I can see this kid really really was provoked by my daughter, and she still loves him. I say give him a chance. I and ifhe doesn't again. Leave his ess. But first and foremost is what my daughter thinks she should do. She chose to date him, so if she wants to call it quits,it's her choice. I'm not gonna going over there and beat his ess without knowing who is wrong or right? I've been involved in this kind ofsituation before. Except it wasn't my daughter, but my female cousin. She told me one day when she was sad for some reason that her man had punched her. Myreaction right away was heated, especially when I grew up seeing this. But I saw that she still loved him, and the BF was really a stand up guy except for thehitting part. He had come from a rough background, but his sense of loyalty and honesty was all good in my book. I had a sitdown with him and I said" Heyman, you family and you know how we grew up, I know my cousin has a sharp mouth on her, but you shouldn't be laying hands on her. I know it's none ofmy business in your relationship, but if you love my cousin like you say you do, you need to stop that quick or she's gonna leave you." I'll neverforget what I said to him because I even told my cousin to give him a chance. And she did. This is when she was 21. That's all i'm saying give a man achance especially if he is a good dude. The thing is she left him later because he did it again. I couldn't ask again, 1 time is enough. But I respect mycousin for even trying to work it out. Cause most woman won't do that.

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by FromThaTown

Originally Posted by heLiumcLinton

dude is really arguing about hitting a female?

the only thing I could think of is his pops must of put the beatdown on his moms and he probably thought it was amusing

my moms got the beatdown occasionally and I'd be in my room like "df?! why don't she leave"

I won't put my hands on my girl but a shake won't hurt

You need to stop thinking. Cause I was always wondering why my mom didn't leave, and I always wanted to call the cops on him, but I never did. See, I see my mom and countless other women that have stayed in these type of relationship as a strong woman because they sacrificed themselves for the unity of family. The woman in this type of relationship didn't take the easy way out by giving up or calling police all day to put their men in jail and taking their dad away from their kids. They did what it took to keep the family together even through tough times. That is sacrifice to the fullest. I can say for my family, that my mom and dad are truly in love. They make small conversations throughout the day, bring lunch for each other, go on little hot dates like they are in high school. And it's a beautiful thing to me, and I have my mom to thank for not giving up on my pops, and I have thanks for my pops for changing. If my mom was one of these woman like today's generation, all ready to leave you over one incident or more. I would have missed out on seeing all the good times that have occurred over time after the physical altercations. That's why I said it's weak if my girl leaves me if I laid hands on her, especially when she can't beat me through words, but she just has to go off topic and insult me or degrade me.

Your dad took the easy way out by beating on your mother. I got your message and I'm not coming at your parents, just the situation. There are some situations where its cool to be weak, abuse is one of them. What would you tell your daughter if her man hit her?

FYI: This week is Teen domestic abuse week...

Oh I never said my dad was strong for that, especially when it was unprovoked. But my mom was a soldier for hanging in there, and I give my dadthe utmost respect for changing. But Mytmouse, I think you talk a good game girl. If you had like 3 kids with your man and overtime arguments get crazy or hejust be getting into it with you? Are you gonna leave him and let your kids not have a father? I mean 1 time for touching and he's out?

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

your logic is all wrong...smh

I don't think I'm ever gonna convince u, my way is right. Nor will you convince me. I think it's what somebody said in this threadearlier that I didn't pay attention to because I was going back and forth with you. But there is no definitive answer to love and relationships. That dudeis right. what may work for me , is definately not working for u.

 

[mytmouse76]

i see it the way your cousin's situation played out...if he hit me once...what will stop him from doing it again? thats my only point...everyone haspotential to change but i personally don't wanna be there for that change...cuz there is always that what if in the back of your mind...i completelyunderstand its much harder to just leave if children are involved...but i don't think its healthy to raise children in that type of environment...juststarts a bad cycle...

Maybe its the way i was raised but my parents never had crazy arguements. They would argue but it never got to anything crazy. My dad never hit mymother.I'm not a confrontational person in the first place so for it to get to a level of someone hitting me I'm not having. I'm try to stay calmand not act of emotion. Sometimes If I feel myself getting all emotional I'll just stop. Conversation over until I calm down and can just talk using logicand not crying or whatever.

 

[ryda421]

turn up the volume !!!!!!!!

-smile

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

i see it the way your cousin's situation played out...if he hit me once...what will stop him from doing it again? thats my only point...everyone has potential to change but i personally don't wanna be there for that change...cuz there is always that what if in the back of your mind...i completely understand its much harder to just leave if children are involved...but i don't think its healthy to raise children in that type of environment...just starts a bad cycle...

Some dude just pm me, and he really had some good thoughts on what we're talking about.. He basically said it's not black and white, whichI agree. I just came to realize that all my closest homeboys had dads that touch their mom. And we all turned out fine. I know it's a crazy cycle, but Ilearned from it to not do it. I will do my best to not do it and walk away, but the thing is if a woman is gonna threaten me with leaving with my kids orbringing up my mom and dad. I really don't know what I'm gonna do. And if it so happens that I hit her, I would hope that she can recognize that she isalso at fault for even talking that crazy shh to me. And she will take me back and don't be talking that crazy mess anymore.

 

[nicefro]

Originally Posted by jumpman247

Women should be shaken, not yelled at.

where does this come from?

 

[dunks87]

when i meet a real man, i'll let you know.

 

[fromthatown]

Originally Posted by dunks87

when i meet a real man, i'll let you know.

I'm a real man baby, you wanna see.

 

[untitled]

Originally Posted by SuperAntigen

Originally Posted by Kell78dogg

just don't hit.

"I'll never hit a girl but I'll shake the %++# out of you"--K.W

 

[fromthatown]

This is a PM I got from Wade187. I just wanted to post this for him cause he can't, but it is beautifully said.





Bro I totally agree with you on the whole hitting thing.But what both you and mouse have to understand is that it's not as simple as it seems.Obviously youknow that it's not just black and white in these situations.The way your looking at well at least from what your saying is that any women who wont put upwith it is weak.While mouse is whole argument is against that simple fact so she obviously doesn't think so.But what she doesnt understand is that leavingis the easy way out.Also you have to understand that in some situations a women has to be strong to leave.You both gotta see the other side of things.Therestwo kinds of women for each.Some stay out of fear which in her view are the weaker women.But from the description you're giving your mother was theopposite.She stayed for the right reasons because of her family and that takes strength.Then you have those that leave because it's the easy way out.Theycan dish out the pain but can't take it when things are reversed and the man actually responds.That's what your describing.Then theres the women whohas to gather up the strength to leave.She may love him with all her heart and it might hurt but she knows that it needs to be done.That is by no means a weakwomen.Every story is complex.In a sense your both right but in a sense your both wrong.Mouse comes off as kinda young and naive but I can see why she thinksthat way.While your talking off experience and most of what your saying is true but alot of people are to simple to understand.Sorry for writing you all thisbut this screen name still hasnt been aproved so I cant post in the thread

 

[chozin87]

Ehh...If I have to scream like that something isn't right...I aint into the drama

 

[royal airness 29]

If a couple never argues than that couple is hurting.

How can you not disagree with someone ever? Raising your voice at someone doesn't say anything about the person. Its all in love or fun (I'm sure alsois hate but thats not what I'm saying)

Girls need to get off this soft crap n stop getting all sensitive when dudes yell at them.Acting like we can never express how we feel by getting loud. Thatscan be our nature sometimes.

But if dude is yelling all the time for no reasons and treating the girl all day n stuff is just wack. Dude is a lame and no girl should be with someone likethat.