What Jill Scott has to say about interracial couples...

[im not you]

The article and those statistics that Dirty posted say everything I didn't want to bother to say earlier...and even still most of ya'll still will ignore

 

[jdocs]

Originally Posted by Deuce King

Her statement had nothing to do with her being racist, sorry you feel that way.  I suggest you re-read one of her sentences again, here it is for you..........."One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up."  Just because you want to keep something in the family or within "the circle" so to speak doesn't make you a racist.  The situation right now is that a lot of black males tend to shun themselves from black women once that get to a certain point in life, I'm not just talking about famous athletes either, I'm talking about the every day common black man.  "We" at times tend to think that maybe we're better than black women or that they are not worthy of our company.  That may or may not have been the case with Jill Scott's male friend but her statement was a broad viewpoint of how many black women feel about "us" in this day and age.  We exclude black women for whatever reason, thus leaving them behind.    

Also, in regards to slavery, or racism from a historical point of view, does that tree still not bear fruit??  So yes, her reference to slavery is very much acceptable. 
  

So, we meet again my friend

The enlarged portion of your text is_ALMOST_the exact definition of racism. One definition of racism is to exclude or discriminate against others based on race. So if "keeping it in the family" or in "the circle" means keeping it within your racial group and excluding other races BECAUSE OF their race, than that is most definitely racist. Now you COULD argue that, maybe racism isn't always a bad thing, but I'd like to see you try

.

To add some background on where my views may have stemmed from, I am mixed raced (Black Jamaican/Cuban mother, White English father). Also, I've never dated a black girl, however I'm not opposed to it. My experience with black girls though is mostly from high school, which most likely isn't the best representation of this group

On top of that I am very shy and lazy so I tend to let girls approach me more, which black girls do not (not sure why

). Fin.

 

[ps2child]

posting for later.

 

[im not you]

Originally Posted by JDocs

Originally Posted by Deuce King

Her statement had nothing to do with her being racist, sorry you feel that way.  I suggest you re-read one of her sentences again, here it is for you..........."One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up."  Just because you want to keep something in the family or within "the circle" so to speak doesn't make you a racist.  The situation right now is that a lot of black males tend to shun themselves from black women once that get to a certain point in life, I'm not just talking about famous athletes either, I'm talking about the every day common black man.  "We" at times tend to think that maybe we're better than black women or that they are not worthy of our company.  That may or may not have been the case with Jill Scott's male friend but her statement was a broad viewpoint of how many black women feel about "us" in this day and age.  We exclude black women for whatever reason, thus leaving them behind.    

Also, in regards to slavery, or racism from a historical point of view, does that tree still not bear fruit??  So yes, her reference to slavery is very much acceptable. 
  

So, we meet again my friend

The enlarged portion of your text is_ALMOST_the exact definition of racism. One definition of racism is to exclude or discriminate against others based on race. So if "keeping it in the family" or in "the circle" means keeping it within your racial group and excluding other races BECAUSE OF their race, than that is most definitely racist. Now you COULD argue that, maybe racism isn't always a bad thing, but I'd like to see you try

.

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Pronunciation: \ˈr

 

[jdocs]

Originally Posted by Im Not You

The article and those statistics that Dirty posted say everything I didn't want to bother to say earlier...and even still most of ya'll still will ignore

WHY is everyone being so secretive in here... on some "some of y'all still ignoring IT" .. "y'all just don't understand" ..."you have to look at the whole picture" ..."look deeper"..etc etc ... How about you guys try and explain what your talking about.

I see the stats, it clearly states that white females prefer to date within their own race, white men prefer to date outside of their race, non-white people prefer to date outside of their own race, and that black females AND males prefer to date outside of their race, etc. Basically all the groups prefer (or are not strongly opposed to the idea of) dating outside of their race, except white females. I don't see how this is saying that black women are losing out

 

[diego]

Oh so now you guys want to twist the way we define racism TODAY?
While that may be the textbook definition it is most definitely not the way it gets used these days.

 

[im not you]

Originally Posted by Diego

Oh so now you guys want to twist the way we define racism TODAY?
While that may be the textbook definition it is most definitely not the way it gets used these days.

Umm...how is it defined "today" then?
Maybe someone else can chime in but racism has pretty much always been the same as the definition I posted. It always revolved around a sense of elitism among another race. Since when the hell has "sticking with your own kind" alone been a racist act?

Just like NSJ said...that's racial separatism. That may be an idea that a racist has...but that idea ALONE does not make you a racist. I can choose to stick within my race and NOT believe that all black people are better than everyone else or hate any other race. 

 

[deuce king]

Originally Posted by JDocs

Originally Posted by Deuce King

Her statement had nothing to do with her being racist, sorry you feel that way.  I suggest you re-read one of her sentences again, here it is for you..........."One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up."  Just because you want to keep something in the family or within "the circle" so to speak doesn't make you a racist.  The situation right now is that a lot of black males tend to shun themselves from black women once that get to a certain point in life, I'm not just talking about famous athletes either, I'm talking about the every day common black man.  "We" at times tend to think that maybe we're better than black women or that they are not worthy of our company.  That may or may not have been the case with Jill Scott's male friend but her statement was a broad viewpoint of how many black women feel about "us" in this day and age.  We exclude black women for whatever reason, thus leaving them behind.    

Also, in regards to slavery, or racism from a historical point of view, does that tree still not bear fruit??  So yes, her reference to slavery is very much acceptable. 
  

So, we meet again my friend

The enlarged portion of your text is_ALMOST_the exact definition of racism. One definition of racism is to exclude or discriminate against others based on race. So if "keeping it in the family" or in "the circle" means keeping it within your racial group and excluding other races BECAUSE OF their race, than that is most definitely racist. Now you COULD argue that, maybe racism isn't always a bad thing, but I'd like to see you try

.

To add some background on where my views may have stemmed from, I am mixed raced (Black Jamaican/Cuban mother, White English father). Also, I've never dated a black girl, however I'm not opposed to it. My experience with black girls though is mostly from high school, which most likely isn't the best representation of this group

On top of that I am very shy and lazy so I tend to let girls approach me more, which black girls do not (not sure why

). Fin.

Yeah we do meet again, and just like before champ your confusing racism with the desire of WANTING to "keep something in the family" versus completely EXCLUDING "something out of the family".  That's the difference.  The problem with "us" in our community is that we tend to not took care of or protect our interests in things that bring value to our community.  Put it like this, the Jews make it a point to keep things in the family, the Asians make it a point to keep things in the family, and the Mexicans make it a point to keep things in the family.  As it appears "we" don't follow this guide which is why we have some of the "issues" that we have in our community.  I'm not just talking about the discussion of interracial dating either, I'm talking about other factors as well.  Interracial dating is very accpetable and I'm not trying to paint a picture as if it is a problem, but it is something that we should openly talk about as many sisters are currently doing as they feel that black men are purposely excluding them from the dating/marriage process.  
     

 

[dirtylicious]

How about you guys try and explain what your talking about.
I'll give it a go.

she's not saying that people should NOT date outside of their race/ethnicity... RATHER she's explaining how seeing black men date white women make her feel.. and what that feeling is based upon -- years and years of ingrained societal pressures and norms of white = right, white = beauty, white = the ideal. Which, by itself is bad enough -- that one particular skin color is the most ideal, but also has a backhanded slap to it as well, which is that black women are the exact opposite of that.

 

[nawth21]

ahh yay it's the slippery slope!

 

[fac3 tak30v312]

EDIT:

There is something else that crossed my mind that articles like these seemingly always leave out. It has to do with successful black men not marrying successful black women. The problem with that statement is it has very little to do with black vs black or black vs white but with the changing dynamics of marriage from that of a social contract to ensure the continuation of ones bloodline where it relates to social standing/class, and wealth to where it is now being a contract based on love.

You see the thing is that while society has dictated that these social contracts are a thing of the past the echoes remain and are not quite understood for what they are. It's like being thought something generation after generation but when it comes your turn the lesson plan has changed, and even though that change occurred, somewhere within you there is still an imprint of what has been passed down [sort of IDK implicitly], even though you can't necessarily understand what it is.

This is moreso seen in the black community in the US because of it low social standing for these past hundreds of years. Yet now in this modern time it has reached a point where social mobility is seen in a more prolific manner among black men. But the problem is whereas before that gain in wealth and power would be protected within the race through marriage by means of a social contract/convenience [meaning offspring/males heirs for monetary allowances] the definition of marriage has changed.

Well this is just one of my many ideas that lead up to whatever this situation is that Jill Scott tries to write about but not so much explain

 

[iknowrap]

Originally Posted by fac3 tak30v312

EDIT:

You see the thing is that while society has dictated that these social contracts are a thing of the past the echoes remain and are not quite understood for what they are. It's like being thought something generation after generation but when it comes your turn the lesson plan has changed, and even though that change occurred, somewhere within you there is still an imprint of what has been passed down [sort of IDK implicitly], even though you can't necessarily understand what it is.

This is moreso seen in the black community in the US because of it low social standing for these past hundreds of years. Yet now in this modern time it has reached a point where social mobility is seen in a more prolific manner among black men. But the problem is whereas before that gain in wealth and power would be protected within the race through marriage by means of a social contract/convenience [meaning offspring/males heirs for monetary allowances] the definition of marriage has changed.

Sorta like this huh :

Black Brotha...ayy u made it, u beat all the obstacles before u, you got thru to the other side(Success instead of Poverty or Low Class), you broke the cycle...CONGRATS
 
now look at this Sista, she did the same as you, now yall should be together and have children who will follow in your footsteps and break those same trends that u broke

If if your family trend holds up than thats generation after generation of blacks making improvements and breaking cycles,...................... but if you marry a white woman, what happens to that successful black woman??

her chance to acheive this goal just dropped drastically cuz ur gone, and replaced by a no good black man or no man at all

  

 

[jdocs]

*I'm on my phone so I can't quote and please excuse the spelling*

Ooooooooooooook, I think I've got the concept now.

So basically, black women think (whether right or not) that black men are purposly excluding them from dating/marriage. And the media/society/etc have been perpetuating the idea that white women are more desirable and black women are manly and aggressive. Thus making other races, as well as black males, find black women less desireable.

So is she, and those like her, saying that it is the job of black males to step up and love women that they don't want to, just to help the black community?

And to briefly touch on your comments on other races, that's racist as well. Excluding a group or groups of people because they aren't of the same race is racist to me. The feeling of elitism is another part of it, but not all of it. You can call it racial descrimination or racial seperatism if you like but it's all the same to me.

I'll get back to this tomorrow when I'm on a computer.

 

[lemonade41]

So its wrong to date your own race now?

 

[dirtylicious]

So is she, and those like her, saying that it is the job of black males to step up and love women that they don't want to, just to help the black community?
I don't see how you leap to this conclusion?.... I read nothing in her words that advocated such.

 

[jdocs]

That's what I was gathering she was implying the solution was from the first and last paragraphs of what she said. That and a culture shift in the media.

Maybe I'm wrong but that's what it sounded like to me.

I'll be back tomorrow though. Maybe I'll understand it more in the morning lol.

 

[nawlinsjunkie]

I don't know why its such a big deal for black women. most black men date black women anyways, and other races do the same (white dudes with white girls, asians with asians, etc).

 

[north dade represent]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

btw. semi OT.

It's so many brothers out there smashing white girls, what difference that chart make? They can say the strongly prefer their own race, but deep down in their heart they still be feeling our swagger. It's denial if you ask me. 

 at Champion Edition. 300 plus? Good God. You think the act would get old after a while. I always said if I reached 40-50, I'd just get dumb picky after that. It never happened though, I'm already dumb picky and that's why I won't get to 40.

 

[im not you]

Originally Posted by JDocs

And to briefly touch on your comments on other races, that's racist as well. Excluding a group or groups of people because they aren't of the same race is racist to me. The feeling of elitism is another part of it, but not all of it. You can call it racial descrimination or racial seperatism if you like but it's all the same to me.

No it isn't...that's called preference

If I say I only date black women = Preference
If I say I hate all women other than black women and that black women are the supreme group of females = Racist

There's a HUGE difference

 

[jerryjones]

Originally Posted by North Dade Represent

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

btw. semi OT.

It's so many brothers out there smashing white girls, what difference that chart make? They can say the strongly prefer their own race, but deep down in their heart they still be feeling our swagger. It's denial if you ask me. 

i mean mathematically it doesnt really matter. there's probably around 100-120 million white women in the US compared to anywhere form 8-18 million black men in the US. so even if you subtract the 54 percent of white woman you would still be left with around 50-60 million white women.That vastly out numbers the black male population. so i think that's explains how there is a majority of white women who want to date within there own race but at the same time you see black man and white woman relationships so frequently. theres just WAAAAAAAAAY more white women here than there are black men. So in fact white women opposing dating outside there race has no real bearing on the situation.

 

[optimusprimeaphia]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

ahh yay it's the slippery slope!

Exactly.


At the end of the day, I'm a Black male telling people to GET OVER IT and live your life.


If that black man wasn't attracted to you in the first place, there was nothing you could have done otherwise besides stepping TO him instead of waiting to be approached.

 

[blackstilettos]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

Yes, the days of slavery are long past, but this view of black womenas less desirable, less beautiful, less feminine and less valuable thanwhite women persists. It is illustrated by the women who are featuredon mainstream magazine covers…and those who are not (Vanity Fair anyone?).It is confirmed by the missing and exploited women that are covered24/7 on cable news…and those who are not. It is underscored bystatistics that reveal who is likely to marry…and who is not.

Black men are not immune to the message that black women are “lessthan.

 

[mytoasterspeak]

I'll add my two cents and this is gonna be very simple. A GORGEOUS white women be it middle class, upper class, or whatever is more approachable and engaging, than a black woman with the same attributes. For some dumb @%! reason, that black women are fully responsible for, their attitudes, and sense of entitlement leave them on the outside looking in, and it's not helping their cause with white women having dat mass these days. Sista's just need to get it together and lose the attitude and entitled sense of self. One more thing of note though, dating is the biggest sport of all sports, and if your strategy is flawed, and you're not willing to make adjustments, you lose, and you lose by a margin.

 

[twig1026]

He wanted that real Becky...Jill mad

 

[airuphere23]

....this is why I date outside of the black and white races...hispanics and asian chicks only...too much confusion and hatred between the 2 races...I'm mulatto if it matters.