?uestlove celebrity stories (Last Update PG.6: Benicio D T, Madonna, Rosario Dawson)

[drameezy]

Originally Posted by seasoned vet

Originally Posted by Crumbs

...not reading

- you're cool.

^ lol

 

[seasoned vet]

Nona Gaye: heaven was Sept 10th 2001

jermaine dupri asked me drum on his benefit album with Bono and "some friends".

they told me to be ontime and at battery studios 10am.

they didn't tell me that i would be the only male in a room full of:

beyonce
kelly
michelle
brittany
mya
janis and
nona gaye.

4 hours.

beyonce was very polite and not at all "hollywood" as i expected. we been cool ever since.
same for kelly and michelle. britt kicked us out the room when she did her vocals (meanwhile yonce won all my respect with her "ready for my closeup" one take stroke.)---mya came in late and sat on the couch next to me. she offered me her passes to see michael jackson at the garden that night.

unfortunately i had rehearsals that night for a levis jam session event in which i had to prep songs with meshell, ndea, and some other people.

you best believe i wasted 0 time in talking to nona and her mom. jan said yonce reminded her of marvin in the studio with how effortless his harmony attempts were. i went the extra mile in asking about stories about her father. we got real real cool.

i did my part and thanked everyone.

i ran to SIR to start rehearsals for the Levis jam.

that lasted for 5 hours. we ended at 9pm and went to the soho grand.

friggin levi's people never confirmed our late arrival. so they gave our rooms to incubus.

and to make up for it:

3 people went to the bryant park hotel (@@@@1/2)
4 went to the howard johnsons (@@@)
3 in the sheraton (@@@1/2)
the rest at a holiday inn.

we was piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissed.

that was our room. how could those !@!%+ be that stupid.

thank god those !@!%+ were stupid.

it saved our lives....

next day was sept 11th 2001.

Will Smith

will provided me with two of the most amzingest stories of my career.

y2k at the white house.

and

the last january week of 06 in his crib.

my boy says you can judge the level of success someone has in hollywood by the amount of seconds it takes you to get from the gate of the entry to the actual house.

while doing 20mph it took 35 seconds.

imma just do the point system.

drove through the jurassic park gates
passed 3 city blocks. with 15 brownstone per block.
--yes a REAL neighborhood.
was told they fly family out there for reunions and stuff. makes it easier.
so even to live in his BROWNSTONE is a life achievement...let alone HIS crib
he has a stadium in which he does sunday Bball games with his boys/crew
(yes a real stadium with referees and a scoreboard bleachers, lockerooms and concession stands)
you step in the house and you notice the floor is MADE OF BUTTER LEATHER
the whole time im asking him "are we allowed to...step on this?"
his housekeeper gives you orange juice only to realize its 3 days old. and it MUST BE FRESH SQUEEZED.

you joke (what you got a grove and workers in the backyard?) only for jada to open the door to reveal a grove and workers in the back yard.

the spice rack and its fungshui'd color coordination is so impressive and big you yourself say this is a life goal for you wanna reach....

not have this spice rack.

just live here.

in this room

IN THE SPICE RACK!

but that aint it!

see the thing about other hollywood mansions are people come with this mentality sorta like chris rock explained: you always got one bag packed like you know you gonna be thrown out anyday now ---or you have this idea that you "might" go broke.

but not will smith.

he says he waited 7 years to make his dream spot. and even then he regrets the largeness of it cause how in the world can his kids be grounded growing up in literally the best built house in california?

i mean it is.

i asked him how do other cribs rate....like i know white people dont like or are as concerned as "shinning" as we are. so thus whereas maybe a megamillionare like steve jobs or even bill gates might have a nice sound system in his house....he aint gonna have the swagger to ball all out and make a nightclub built by the top university for deaf students in which the speakers/woofers vibrate on the floor....thus FORCING YOU to dance....so based on the black celeb ballin factor---ball players dont really got "taste" and just get tacky +*++ (i can verify this), and aint no black actor in the top bracket to really go all out and ball. and jada actually has taste so will only gives props to his only inspiration in the world of balling !%% cribs: eddie murphy.

naturally i asked "what about MJ?"

will laughed and said mike cheats: "anyone can build disneyland....i mean if i was a big kid and wanted a house full of every videogame and trinket then perhaps.....but as far as build and structure (EVERYTHING is hand made so it feels like bedrock) Will wins.

his movie theater? this SHIZZZZNIT
he even has a "ghetto kitchen" built like the set of good times (they have 80% of their meals in there....and once you sit in there for about 20 mins you really do think you are in a "regular" spot.

his studio is nicer than most

his gym is nicer than most

his art collection

his lagoon/pool

all that +*++ sons anything beyond your wildest dreams....but this was the kicker that had me on some martin lawrence-seeing-eddies-bubble hill crib for the first time (mar started turning into a girl saying "ummm eddie can't you play more of your music? whuuuusup whuuusup whusssup with you?") was:

will: hey check this out (*grabs remote....presses a button....*then talks all normal like he aint about to change your life in less than 40 secs) yeah im really glad you like this house...alot of this art was handcrafted in africa when (35 seconds) i shot ali......even ali himself did this piece right here....

?: wow he is an artist (20 secs) too?

will: actually he was doodling on the table place napkins and i (15 secs) told him im taking this home to hang up....jada's mom has a balcony overlooking the living room on some queen of the castle +*++...and over here.....ahmir?.....james?.....ahm (5...4...3....)

?: james?.............(*still standing in the SAME spot where the living room USED TO BE*).....james.....will.....um.......where did the walls just disappear to?.....and why are we suddenly outside?....how in blue hell did the walls just vanish like that and now we are friggin outside?

BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN!!!!!!!

NaS

you know....the weird thing about nas---i mean it could be kelis who is a fan of ours....but nas JUST started his fandom for us.

i mean he was the prototype of just a first glance and conclusion of "them @!+%%! corny" and go on about his day....

meanwhile if he had just took 30 mins out he'd realize we are his biggest champion.

actually alot of the class of 92 cats are just coming around. bitter? perhaps....im like "wow raekwon if you had just answered our phone call in 96 im certain you woulda tore this +*++ outta "no alibi" but nawww...you took a glance and dismissed us.

my phone rings OFF THE HOOK with the cats i wanted to validate me and let play reindeer games with back in the spring of my career.

while watching us soundcheck at radio city nas was kicking himself for being wrong about us for 10 years....when he heard us freak "verbal intercourse"---my god he was jaw dropped. DAMNIT GHOST!!!---

now that there is a drought in "real hip hop" im everyone's hero for managing to survive in this environment---but there was a time in which +*++ like this happened ALL THE TIME pre TFA.

aug 98-

electric lady.
i walk into electric lady coming from waverly diner across the street. bag of food in hand
i walk inside and walk downstairs.
nas is talking to the receptionist and hands me a $20
grabs my bag and says "its cool...keep the change"

i thought he was joking so i let 15 secs go by but he kept walking to studio b.

me and the receptionist were laughing and i thought...well maybe i should keep this 20 cause this story is too funny...

but i was starving...

and then i thought about it...and my ego kicked in...

how does this $!!%% not know im not the delivery boy from the diner and not questlove??!?!??

i mean for god sake he $@!%+%% to the source the HARDEST when we got a higher rating than It Was Written....so i KNOW he has to know....

i ran like "yo!!!!! i thought you were playing....that is my food yo..i thought you were joking"

"naaaaah....i....thought you were the delivery boy..."

*hands bag back*

*me and the receptionist were like "this $!!%% must be high as hell"*

there are 2 $20 dollar bills i have on my wall at home.

one from Prince--he tipped me jokingly for being funky

the other from Nas....i never gave him that $20 back

Jessica Alba

i went to this electronic convention in nyc
and just to do a walk through they give you CRAZY +*++!
tv's computers...everything!!!!!

im bad at titles but you know that war game in which 8 people play at the same time?

you sit at a computer and you go to battle with your army against the other squad?

its a popular game but i forget title.

anywho....

my squad was riq, jess, and dipset

we went up against the (then) lox and saigon and i "think" fab

she and i got shot up the most.

it was 20 mins but worth it. she looked good, i chose a 40 inch plasma and two computers.

ACTUALLY!!!!!

hold up!!!!!!

cam was in that lambo and i BELIEVE this was the sunday that he got hit up in DC.

cause i mos def remember me and riq being on some "damn we just saw him park that car when we was looking for our car service after the convention"

memphis bleek

there is a photo of me getting my beard trimmed backstage in jay's room from his barber on my facebook profile. as this photo was taken i think bleek and em were in the other room at it again. it was bleek, jeeze, their crew. my a&r lenny s was in the room as well and i remember bleek going off on some low on the totem pole minion +*++

he kept mentioning "we all stuck at the train station and here yall come on the amtrak train passing us by.....back in the day YOU USED TO BE A PLATFORM $!!%%....now you riding Jay's amtrak train.

so i guess this was bleeks verions of telling len s that he changed cause he now on "team j a list"

--it was said as a joke but i can tell there was feelings underneath

soon both len and memph were going toe to toe on who was more "roc" or who was more "down"

"$!!%%...i got the ORIGINAL 12 inch of "get a life" 12 inch with the mispelled credits...

"dude i got two bottles of cristal jay FORGOT to give flex for "$!!%%"

"$!!%% i got the cards from the poker game from the video...."

"dog i got big's tims from "aint no $!!%%" video."

"well i got the fruit baskets from the "feeling it" video campaign"

---i dont know what was more hilarious..

the "whose $!%$ is bigger game"

or the amenities that were mentioned in the name of promoting the first album

(...."i got the custom roc napkins with all our initials for the mothers day marcy brunch"....i still got the santa beard jay used for "toys of the roc" xmas giveaway" "but i got the ACME bags used to hold the purdue turkeys that jay handed out in 98!"...)

its like "damn....even jay fam knows jay's ebay value round here..."

dont be surprised if you see the cherry stems on ebay in 20 years from the pina coladas served at the wedding reception

 

[nothingbefore]

hard to read a few parts was spelled all wrong & all that ******ation

but good reads


Hova on aim ? .....

he is too old for computers

 

[falcon4567]

Originally Posted by NothingBefore


Hova on aim ? .....

he is too old for computers

The heck is that supposed to mean? The man did a whole campaign for HP

 

[fear the ibis]

Originally Posted by Falcon4567

Originally Posted by NothingBefore


Hova on aim ? .....

he is too old for computers

The heck is that supposed to mean? The man did a whole campaign for HP

But he uses a Macbook Air though.

Somebody find ?uestloves AIM SN please.

pac and suge walked in like this was an old western.---remember how that piano player shut his piano when rae dawn chong hit oprah's character in the face on color purple?--man it felt like that.

we saw suge whisper something to deon sanders and whatever it was, neon deon's whole demeanor was like *whimpers* he left INSTANTLY .

kamal was like "yo....you see how he !##%%*# out deon?,,,,,,yo imma say whussup!"

i told him NO!!!! he was like "pssh $#$* dat....pac is my %@!##!"

?: james?.............(*still standing in the SAME spot where the living room USED TO BE*).....james.....will.....um.......where did the walls just disappear to?.....and why are we suddenly outside?....how in blue hell did the walls just vanish like that and now we are friggin outside?

 

[marath0n]

This dude is all over the place with his stories.

 

[mastamind89]

These were great

 

[rfx45]

Some were funny but am I the only one having a hard time reading and understanding these stuff?
Half of the time, I am wondering the hell is going on.

 

[brettthejett]

One with j Mayer had me chuckle

 

[nothingbefore]

Originally Posted by Falcon4567

Originally Posted by NothingBefore


Hova on aim ? .....

he is too old for computers

The heck is that supposed to mean?

 

[seymore cake]

this is classic material right here

 

[copp 2 of em]

Prince is one weird dude.
Will's house though? wow!

 

[mr jordan04]

Gotta read these all later

 

[ezflash26]

Will's house though? wow!

I needed that insipiration...got damn.

?uest is that dude tho

. His J-Dilla story was

too, made me understand why people feelhe's the greatest...

 

[kicks4kaskets]

Anymore ?uestlove stories? Joints are so random.

 

[theprocessofbelief]

Great stuff. Questlove is a funny dude.

 

[seymore cake]

Originally Posted by EzFlash26

Will's house though? wow!

I needed that insipiration...got damn.

?uest is that dude tho

. His J-Dilla story was

too, made me understand why people feel he's the greatest...


link?

 

[doublejs07]

john mayer


while working on clarity.

john and i are like two stepbrothers trying to outdo each other.

like mark and john in that scene from boogie nights when they first meet

(i'll admit...he is the reason i use a macbook and said goodbye to my beloved viao)

we were one upping each other on trivia

computers

celeb stories.

and then he killed me....

"i just dumped my gf this morn"

then he showed me a photo.

JLH.

damn....this cat has options like THAT?

(smh)

 

[mr 1246]

did I miss camron?

 

[gokickrocks]

A lot of these stories are

But

@ Will Smith's house.

 

[seasoned vet]

Originally Posted by EzFlash26

?uest is that dude tho

. His J-Dilla story was

too, made me understand why people feel he's the greatest...

- real talk, i mourned Dilla for 2 years after his death, meaning i listen to nothing but Dilla produced tracks for a full 2 years. im glad to see youunderstand now.....



- the OG ?uestlove post on OKP is ginormous. i would post a link to it but OKP's forum format i a lot different (prehistoric) from NT, most here that areused to NT would just get lost over there with how posts and replies go.
- for those that are having trouble following the stories, a lot of it isnt spelled wrong or anything like that you just have to know about or understand whathes talking about. for those confused quote the parts you're talking about and illl see if i can decifer it for you.




- more.......

amy winehouse

something tells me she knows all that shinanigans is attention getting.

cause that crazy person that be in the press....ive never met that jawn.

matter of fact....this is who i met.

it was black lily day in philly and my computer was in the shop at springboard and i just landed in philly from an atl gig. it was sunday afternoon round 12ish and i double parked to get my jawn out the shop on walnut.

thing was cop made me move and parking was 2 blocks away on locust.

i parked.

got coins.

walked past cvs

walked past brownstones

green light

cross street

bar on corner

deli

laundrymat

amy folding clothes at drier

gas station

turn corner

pre scho---

THE HELL??!?!!?

*turns back....

"aim?.......the hell you doing here?"

i looked and noone was around. security nada....nothing. just her and them damn ballet shoes.

i was weirded out cause in the world of "entertainer acting like joe shmooe" i thought i had that !!%@ on lockdown.

i mean EVERY singer i know got a latch who pack they clothes and irons and all the !!%@ i do normally. so that shocked the !!%@ outta me.

i told her about black lily and i offered her a lift.

she said she'd walk there.

i was like you are amy winehouse walking in the murder capital of the USA ill lift you.

she said "nonsense gimme address"

which of course i just knew was the brushoff.

---sho nuff...

she walked to lily!!!!!!

and performed!!

my man (c) dw/hov

Robert De Niro

two kinda white guys attracted to black culture:

the ones that mock it so much they wind up embracing it kinda like that song on the radio you hate so much you love it. signs of this are usually the cats that get they knowledge from an arms length education: their idea of black is on tv or the latest rap cd.

in the 70's the idea of black was "Cool Breeze, Jive +*% Turkey!"

.....early 80's was post eddie murphy"GETTHE****OUTTHERE heea heea heea" black guy.

mid 80 rap proved to be the new black with mockers doing the (beat box spitting) hand on the balls*gesture* "YObabyYobabyYO!"

.....of course once The Chronic cast a shadow over modern culture all of the "yeaaaaaaaaaaaah boyeeeeeeeeeeee"s turned into "Sup fool, imma finna pull a jack move on yall mark +*% busters!" for the black of the 90s. of course this leads into modern culture which i guess is stuck in some sorta lil jon continuum ("yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!!!" is the outburst i hear from frast boys at parties)

i guess this is where the other half of the Will Smith story comes in. Will asked me and james to put a band together for his blowout extravaganza Y2K event in DC. Quincy Jones was the producer and "Steven" (whoever that is lol) was the director. of course with those 3 bigtyme cats they pulled the biggest coup in hollywood. a 3 day weekend at the white house. i mean name em they were there (even got to meet my idol the other drummer for the event Steve Ferrone). coolest !!%@ was watching the setup the clintons had just in case the y2k fear !!%@ did come about---the engineers from six flags made the clintons special seats in which if some !!%@ were to go down..their row would become INSTANT freefall chairs. (it would drop 10 feet below surface and a track would instantly lead them to a safe location miles away. they started building this special device some 3 months before the event even jumped off.---well of course all night.....star after star:

quincy and will playing the dozens
mary tyler moore rolling elizabeth taylor's wheelchair over my foot.
talking to ozzie and ruby for about an hour about malcolm x and the 60s.

but the 2 celeb encounters that stuck with me the most (as if such a thing could even be true in light of being with these people for 72 hours)

the first was Jack Nicholson who pretty much fit the description of the black culture embrace that i described at the top of this story.

will and him shared dressing rooms (i'll put it this way: i was the least known celeb at this event so due to the limited amount of spacing ---and quincy's hand picked friends have 0 ego)---you could be in a scenario in which martin scorsesse, robin williams, and oprah winfrey might have to share a room together.---it was that random.

well our scenario was will, k-ci (his singer on that Clash inspired Will2K----god the staggering means we went through to keep him from getting drunk and making a spectacle was amazing---enter eric clapton for that one....the unlikely hero to black singers huh? lol) "the band" which was REALLY crazy considering it was heavy cats like greg phillengaines and the carlton brothers (just look up all the cats that are quincy regulars and they were here), jazzy jeff and will's regular crew (charlie mack being first out the limo, omar his former dancer, and other cats you done seen on the show)---and in comes in jack.

whose whole demeanor changed once he got in the room with some brothers.

him being the age he was i guess his reference was more the 70s black caricature than just being "cool" jack. i mean all his references were so over the top.---of course the youngins were eating it up like "damn jack is cool"

but i dunno....i felt some sort of way. like is this what you think i am? a "yo baby yo baby yo?" a "cold chillin with my posse?" guy? is there any room for black people in his life that aren't part of his cast or crew? the more i thought about it the more i concluded that the likelihood of him having a regular interaction with black people to educate him on us being human and not just the cool phrase of the day is probably not likely. i was so turned off i didn't even line up for a photo with him.

now BOBBY on the other hand.....

will threw a party at he bar of our hotel in dc and tried to really bring a taste of home. jeff spinning, his family catered it with some good soul food and open bar for all---actually the night was rather bittersweet thanks to a blabbermouth story i wont get into, but i spent a good portion of the night trying to get an open line (which was hard) and arguing with my girl.

however who but ol marty and bobby come by the shindig.

its kinda funny how as i write and recap this....i guess we can say this a double edged sword....for when the attendees saw robert, ALL of a sudden (thanks WU TANG) mofos turned all italian and !!%@ lol....

like bobby stayed cool and suddenly cats was lining up to be like "yo man goodfellas this" and "you talking to me?" that---i mean it musta been overwhelming for the only cat i know that woulda probably been swarmed more would be pacino.

of course me being the contrary smartass i chose the moment to pull the "i been down since organix!" card.

mention his two most obscure Scorsesse flicks:

"new york new york" and my personal life story "the king of comedy"

particularly the latter and i explained i saw myself as a hip hop langford (would that make you players a collective rupert? lol) and he rapped to me for about 5 mins about mart's breakdown over the rejection of new york and the relief of not having to go through the physical hell that was raging bull and really play a character that was a total departure.

it just hit me that despite being surrounded by a SMOOOOOOrrg of sistas and more gambino's with their pop culture lines all ready to impress him.....he actually blacked em out and answered my questions.

and he looked TOTALLY comfortable in his surrounding. he didn't do the ol "overcompensate" game nor did he do the uncomfortable awkward situation !!%@ either. he just played it cool and acted like he was right at home.

great celeb encounter.

Angie Stone

lol...
ang and i shot an additional commercial for coke (not the one yall saw....(but a karaoke one that never got released) for a whole weekend. actually xmas week we shot 3 coke campaigns for print radio and tv. i mean we have always been cool. semi neutral since i am technically team "D" (those two have a marvin/anna "here my dear" !!%@ going on) well in the craziest of all crazy scenarios---its like we hung and chilled all week studying our lines, reading scripts and breaking bread.

lol....2 days after the shoot...

why did i get a subpoena the first week after the new years naming me in a lawsuit over my voodoo publishing? lol

just wow.

taraji henson

i have many a sceanrio with her (most being backstage at our shows or coms---they were seeing each other at the time) but the image i will forever have is how she consoled com at dilla's funeral.

my "not letting *@%#%+ see me cry" (basically tariq) pride made me sit in the backrow.

com, erykah, tip, bust, karriem, sat in the row behind ma dukes and i know that com played a crucial role in organizing stuff and helping the family out. so i know he put a good 72 hours of work in to help arrange and i guess...something hit him and he broke down....and it was a hard break down.

i dunno....i guess this post isn't all that deep but watching her hold him touched my heart. cause that !!%@ hit him hard in a way i can't even describe.

gabrielle union

another "i thought it was me" bbd story.

temple u had a symposium on the effects of slavery in america and an all star panel with me, spike, gab, and some other notables

of course knowing how much i love to run my mouth at these types of functions fell flat cause the snarked up audience chose this okayplayer like moment to attack spike for his movies (it was to the point i was laughing like "what the hell you do to these people yo! why they clowning your commercials with kobe?!)--so gab and i played the back.

now i heard she "just" got divorced from football dude and she was on that "dont know what's going on in this town" type !!%@.--so i saw a green light:

lemme take you to dinner!

"sure!"

(YES!!!!!!!)---actually wait...didn't i put the photos up in an update once?

but she said her friend has to come

(NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

so i brought tina for distraction

(double NO!....for if there is anyone more ambitious than me its tina and she basically car jacked me)

so the four of us at dinner and all my crew is MAD JELLY!!!!!!!!!! im all "ha ha mofos whut!!"

meanwhile one ill timed bathroom/breath/fro check and tina is suddenly the life of the party.

tina and gab discovered they lived in the same dorm at ucla
and got to the bottom of the rumor of a famed nba player in whom
gab allegedly stole from tina's roomate....

i mean the !!%@ was so in the bag, *%*$*!@ kelsey grammar coulda made a series of this....

next thing i know im like texting tina

(FALL BACK....GET CHUMMY WITH THE GIRLFRIEND!!! YOU CAR JACKING MY DATE!!!!!!!)

tina laughed like "chile please! you know better then to let me round your celeb friends...its a wrap son"

---sigh...now they bffs.

im all like "well im dj'n upstairs care to come?"

tina all like "chile we going to the strip club take yo +*% upstairs and dont forget to pay the check +@*#%!!!"

(tina is like jill marie's character on girlfriends/and pac's mom on poetic justice: high end, loud, straight to the point)

i see her now like "how the #%$! did i let my tour manager car jack my date?!?!"

allen iverson

i for one am glad chuck is gone cause you can't bring no dime to my seats at the game without fear of his system being in effect.

he got a squad of 10.

4 in nosebleed
4 in lower
2 on the floor

they work the ENTIRE stadium like a lion seeking whom they may devour.

i swear ive seen the DUMBEST doctors bring they lil goomah (is that how sopranos say it? lol) to the game and let that poor dude run and get a beer or she have to go to the ladies room.

their game is TIGHT son....they roll real quick with business cards....after party with AI...and if they have a date its all good. once dropped off to the crib you can dial the number and they will CAR SERVICE you to the location.

the !!%@ is game tight.

thank god for respect. but i aint dumb. a chick come on the floor with me? she aint going NOWHERE alone for 2 mins cause these mofos act quick and fast.

every half time his uncles clown me....

"man you are lucky chuck love yo +*%, cause you know we woulda carded her up right?"

lol

don cornelius

man.
no hero of mine has ever let me down more...
than DC.

yall know my steeze.

yall know my soul train obsession.

i was AMPED! first time ever! i wanted my appearance to be magical. i made everyone re record their parts so it could "seem" like we were playing live. (we would lyp sync to our new performance of "what you want" and "you got me".

but alas i knew we were in trouble when don was catering to every artist but us.

he let all 10 artists go on before us (we were supposed to be 6th but montell jordan wanted go on then sisqo busted in line and then next thing we knew...what shoulda been an hour wait wound up being 3 hours.

of course i was in heaven. i got to see the operation and whatnot.

but alas....

"YOU CAN'T STAND HERE"

he voice sounded like the jolly green giant.

i moved.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to the back.

figured ill be way out the way. ill just stand near this curtain.

well sure enough.

"YOU CANT STAND HERE EITHER"

sigh.

wow really don? you have no idea that im the only one who cares about the history of the show.

im the one who knows the episode in which they misspelled the name on the soul train scramble board
im the one who knows the names to all the themes used for the show.
im the one who knows the various design schemes of the trains used for each show
i can match the intonation of sid mccoy's voice for EVERY introduction he's made.
i can name the first time there was superlative was used in the show introduction of an aritst.
i can tell you what year the show was based on the design of the soul train logo.
i know the dancers
i know everything about this show.

this mofo dont even know im the best thing to happen to the legacy of his show and all he can come up with is...

"YOU CANT STAND HERE"

--all good.

this thursday i have a meeting with the new owners.

takeover in effect son.

more news later.

charlie murphy

not many of you know this but about 2 months after the show ended. writer neal brennen (he was the white guy who was partners with dave and in some of the skits---r kelly's trail and when the show was given to wayne brady) developed a new show based on the same chapelle characters. !!%@ was funny as hell.

it was called Charlie Vs Donell

the basic premise of the show was part "the amazing race" / part celebrity fit club/part the weakest link.

this was the plot.

team murphy and team rawlings would challenge each other for a new mission.
for the pilot team murphy (uncle ray ray, fruity, and 2 other murphs) and team rawlings (his brother and cousins) would scavenger hunt clues from the show's host mtv's sway.

the mission for the pilot was charl and don had to go to the apple store opening on the 5th ave and take a garage band class for 4 hours.

they then had to make 5 beats that they would shop to rappers.

then as a bonus they are instructed to make a dis record to each other (this was 2005 so dissing was really in) they were allowed to have a professional guide with them (i forget which rappers were chosen)

then there was ANOTHER bonus in which they were given $5000 to make a dis video that they had to direct and edit on their new macbooks. they can only use objects purchased with the budget (call this the Dogma95 ghetto challenge)

the funniest part was the warehouse in which they had to decide on C grade video %*%# (stannnk!), vs Cristal Bottles, vs Rims, vs A grade video %*%#, vs a 15 min Bentley rental, vs a 15 min penthouse rental...

i swear keeping this pilot on my computer was one of the HARDEST %++@# ever. i couldnt show brainchild.....sheeeeit i couldn't even show the roots.

but man. the !!%@ charlie came up with (he lost the first round) woulda been a pop culture mainstay and woulda elevated him to mega star level.

so when all was said and done they had charlie and donnell present the final products for the jury which consisted of just blaze, me, memph bleek, and rodney jerkins. we voted on video presentation, rhyme skills, and other categories.

once the winner is decided (in this case donnell) he is awarded 10,000 cash on the spot. but before he takes the cash he is given the option for

the keeping it wheel spin.

sway spins a game show wheel similar to wheel of fortune with a whole bunch of fear factoresque consequences separated by cash prizes. if the disgusting challenges are met (half gallon raw pork pickle juice milkshakes) then the 10k turns into 20k.

that is where the comedy really starts.

neal had amazing plans for the show including the genius show finale which woulda been a test of wills: both charlie and donnell would be thrown into a rikers island hole with neither side knowing when the other cries uncle and whoever can last the longest wins 100k.

comedy central rejected the pilot.

: (


- last one (for now), an insanely long Pharell story (3 in 1):

Skateboard P

i got 3 great stories.

2 are short and one is crazy funny long.

so movie style again.

preview one

p is actually one of the most nicest cats i know in the industry. we had a day off on the sprite tour and he wanted to hang in philly. my apprehension was im .....normal....

i mean that works for you guys and i have no shame but its a lil different parking your dingy scion next to hov's Bach at a high end event.....i mean i hold my head high and im sure that the particular pride i have in my regularness is what makes me endearing. but sometimes i cringe kinda like when people apologize ahead of time before i sit in their car like all im accustomed to is caviar and 400,000 cars.

well rell wanted to see kill bill 2 and i told him id pick him up around 7ish.....and then i remembered what im picking him up in.....my sisters volkswagen.

i was naturally about to apologize for it but caught myself and he got in like it was no thing. the look on girls faces at the red light was priceless....like

"what in the blue #%$!?"

the second story would be hilarious if it weren't at the expense of a close friend. so let's just say i know one of the women that inspired the NERD song "yeah you" (i introduced em and im so regretting it cause so many lines were crossed)

but this is what i can say about rell's character.

that cat is in loooooooooooove with music.

like i "think" im in love with music--but he is a cat that calls you at 3 am wanting to talk about gary bartz and !!%@.

i mean me and james never did that....but then again d and i will talk from midnight and compare our notes to the purple rain atl show 1 to show 2 til like 6am....

i guess more than anything he wears his love for music on his sleeve in a sweet way and there is no bone in his body that leads you to believe he doesn't think of "the moment" than "this !!%@ is gonna make me money!!" first.

the 3rd story and main event: the roots get a neptreat for the upcoming Tipping Point.

so its new years eve eve (30th) and me and my ex and her bff are having ice cream in georgetown and we got 2 NYE shows at the 930. Rell calls me and says

"hey teacher....(that !!%@ makes me feel old yo) i got the answer i got it!!! can you get down here tomorrow?..."

we basically have been on standby with pharrell kinda like waiting for the labor part of birth to get over its slow process. and any moment you can get that call "come to the hosptial!!! she's about to give birth!!!!"----so we spent that whole week knowing the most in demand producer was on the verge of taking time out his schedule to lace us with a joint. and if he comes a callin......we best to make sure we drop WHATEVER we doing and get to va in the next 4 hours----kinda like how the fat albert gang would abandon whatever they were doing at 2:59 to rush and see THE BROWN HORNET. i just begged rell to please at LEAST give us a 12 hour warning and whatnot.

so i got the call and he told me he is an early man and he has plans for NYE but his respect for us is deep enough that he can go to church a lil late on NYE to record this jam with us.

im like cool! we will be there 10am on the NOSE!!!

i did the universal page and all the roots were alerted and it was on...we were leaving to VA at 7am so everyone be prepared!

he calls me again wanting to talk chords again (it was like 1:30am now---he starts the genisis of the chords that will eventually be Beyonce's "Green Light" chorus (that marching band /ante up chords)---so i was cool cause in my head i knew id turn it into a banger.

so we get to his spot in va. very modest spot. twas teddy riley's former place back in the rump shaker/dangerous days (90)---he plays us 3 ruff demos.

now i ALREADY got locked what i hear in my head.

rell got a few "trademark beats"

1. his clavinet funk of the nore/
superthug/first kelis variety from when he first came out.

2. his "boogie" funk in which the music makes you wanna go the busstop on some family reunion type !!%@ like the music to ODB's "got your money" or justin's "rock your body"

and then there is my favorite rell grove:

3. its where the bongo's from james brown's "blow your head" pattern comes in.
it when the drums are rimshot funk.
its heavy on the ONE like a dropping a grand piano coming from the sky

rhythmic wise? its like busta's "what it is"
but done with live drums like "senorita" or best done on hov's "scuse me miss" remix.

actually i approximated it when i remixed "that girl" for his out of my mind sessions.

i wanted it 96 bpms.
i wanted it hi hat, rim shot, kick and a lil of that rell bongo roll that makes it soulful
i wanted the fender rhodes

i wanted something that even I WOULD DJ and yall KNOW how much i hate playing the roots.

none of these beats sounded like that.

cause rell aint thinking about "do most my requests come from cats who hear another song i did and want something similar?"

he is thinking from a standpoint of "where does he see this naturally?" i mean i agree: "Grinding" is a great song but if he gave that beat to mariah first and gave the clipse "say something" then that woulda been a bad look.

so the first joint was neptunish sounding kinda similar to "lapdance" but it REALLY sounded like the neptunes and not The Roots.....so we passed. but it had a killer chorus.

the second joint was aight but it wasn't BANGER!!!! it was a song kinda like "bobby james"---woulda made great filler but at these prices (and we got a discount) we wanted BANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

third joint was banger but the drums man weren't the pattern i wanted to do. i wanted rim shot funk and he wanted me to play something in the 88 bpm slow "freddy's dead" style and my gut was like "ugh this aint it!"

but because we aint paying him his "this is the god pharrell" price its a tricky thing to be demanding on a favor.

so we got til 7pm to think of something.....but who got the heart to bring it up?

riq is standoffish.
rich scares *@%#%+
mal keeps learning out loud the song i hate and i wanna be like "mofo shut the eff up and lets get a song we ALL like!!!" (his myspace photo with him and rell at piano is this time period)

so i got 6 hours to pull some slick !!%@ and get the song i need. i tell em "go back on the bus and leave me and rell alone for a few and ill come up with something.

of course to break the ice on some favor !!%@ this is when i drummed on some NERD stuff and kenna !!%@.---so that alone took 4 hours and im telling my panicking crew i HAD to do that to even the playing field so i can request a groove that kicks +*%!!!

so with 2 hours left and rich and riq putting pressure on me i go in.

"well....i feel the energy and chorus of the first jawn....but um....that second one is aight---i like the marching bandness of the 3rd bu----

"teacher teacher do you trust me? i know you saying what you think you need but i KNOW what yall need!!"

great he is about to pull a com

(family guy flashback edit)

electric lady studios, 2001 4 very nervous mca staffers and manager derek dudley about to have a heart attack over the beat pharrell is about to FORCE on common ("i got a right ta")
i was at dinner with my dream woman and these mofos bat signaled me on some 911 !!%@ like "please save the day"---actually this helped me seal the deal that night cause this chick wasn't all to familiar with my life (she was from brazil) so she really thought i was a dj more than anything---so to just randomly be like "ugh that is the job" and on some save the day !!%@ just "help some friends out" and she roll with me and its like clark kent taking off his gear on some "HA HA! GOTCHA! IM REALLY.....(pulls mask off !!%@)" only to roll to a building and just CASUALLY see the neptunes and com??!?!

sheeeit i was like "uh check please!"

what did i walk into?

rell and his boy going APE**** over this beat that i swear wasn't all that (love you rell but i hate the stigma i got for the weaker moments of EC ESPECIALLY since this was one of em)

but rell is mr "cant tell me nada" og when you get the discount. so i realized that whenever the established frat click comes down to help us havenots they are basically doing it to up their cred game and more or less not doing it thinking this will rank up there with the classics they've made for the established cats.

that way the range of doing !!%@ for hov, busta and madonna is balanced by common, kweli, and cee lo

but he is doing this hypnotizing dance and performing the song for rash and gassing us ALL up on some "trust me i have never been wrong !!%@ the streets will love this as well as the college chicks cause the chords scream roadside truck stop tumbleweed meets the ghetto !!%@ meets......"

his voice was fading out and i knew this was a losing battle

i was like "poor rell.....he thinks his persona and his style and him being smedium and trucker hats and being in everyone's video and most chicks wanting to #%$! him and dudes look like him has 0 to do with his success and its all about the music"

naive.

cute disposition.

but naive.

rash was soooooo stuck with this song. even when rell gave us "come close" in addition he insisted rash record it.

even we said "rash dont smoke!!!!!" he insisted!!!!

im like this is like making a gospel singer sing a prince song from 82 in church!!!"

(cut back to VA)

imma take the lead.

i got on the drums....

he has been playing the marching band song for the last hour like "this is what i insist yall take!!!!" and looping it in the main room.

but i got other plans.

im on the drums.

i stare at the drums.

if i can see it

i can change the course of my life right now.

we are NOT taking that marching band song.

we are NOT taking that marching band song.

i sit and retune the drums that I WANNA HEAR ON MY NEPTUNES SONG

we are NOT taking that marching band song.

i passively tap tap tap on the drums

i start a groove.

i make sure andrew the engineer plays it in the studio room loud...

then and i see my entry:

FAM LAY!!! walks in!!!!

i ignite the groove i like and he is bopping his head.

(yes)

its getting contagious cause the clipse crew is bopping to my "WWphaD? beat

(whoooo!!)

chad is jamming too!! he plays a bassline....

i yell "yo.....DO THAT AGAIN!?!?!"

(yeah +@*#% imma do the same !!%@ on the "got a right ta" sessions, imma kool aid hype these cats into making rell give me THAT REAL !!%@)

even my ex knows what gun im under so she starts shaking her lil thang to egg em on.

i swear to god i have never drummed so hard in my life. i mean im playing rimshot funk (think the drums of voodoo....they dont sound hard......but because i want these *@%#%+ to FEEL IT!!! im giving !!%@ my UMPPPPPPPPPH!!!)

THEN its working......

frank comes in with a cowbell.....and the bongos....

i give that "chapelle to other black guy on hyjacked plane wink"

you know what to do frank......

BOOM clap (du du du du du du ud) CLAP
BOOM clap (du du du du) boo boo
BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

repeat.

this is how i want my drums.

chad has a chair....he is playing the bassline

cats it rhyming to themselves......and soon....as

rell....comes in.....

aint no way he gonna front!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he comes in.....and i see his head bop

think the "drop it like its hot video" neck bop

yeah!!!! got him!!!!!! he comes in

now i got the headphones on and all i can hear is the drums of death

pharrell gets on the piano.....

and i feel him getting into it.....

hang on thompson!!!!!! even though you in pain playing this !!%@ 34 mins in a row with spasms damnit! HOLD ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he is gonna feel this and

you are NOT GONNA TAKE THAT MARCHING SONG!!!! just hang on and DONT LOSE THE FUNK cause this !!%@ right here?!?!? THIS IS THE SONG!!!!!

GIVE IT TO EM......!!!!!!

all i kept saying to myself...

GIVE IT TO EM!!!!!!

(whoa!!!)

(ho!)

---oh !!%@.....that is the "ho!" from many a pharrell classic!

(sings something that makes this sound like the last 30 secs of "pass the courvoisier" where you can hear the ghost of pharrell going church on what sounds like a juke joint jam)

come on ahmir....he ad libbing!!!

"whoooooooooooooooooooooooo ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

JACKPOT!!!!

HE GAVE ME HIS TRADEMARK "justin.....WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OHHHHHHHH"

everyone is bopping they heads HARD rell is 10 mins into it!!!!

i can see it now---------(dream sequence)

hype williams video

im playing THIS DRUM BEAT but on some pharrell !!%@, like whispering in some honey's ear....

i even start the song on some nonsensical whispering rell !!%@.

"sup ma im back........you miss me?....word? its hard for revolutionary freaks i know i know....but put that pamphlet down and come over here.......i love watching the shea butter melt on your skin.....we gonna relax while my +@*#% rell come with that

"whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

hov is cameoing in my video!!!

girls are eating lollipops and winking at me as they watch me drum this million dollar beat----in slow motion!

!!%@ is a hit!

and a year later!!!

"and the grammy goes to....

"the roots and pharrell williams!!!!!!!! "hangbanger funk for revolutionary freaks!!!"

"and now please welcome to the Oprah show for the first time "THE ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!!"

cut to dinner with G.U. again

"you know ahmir.....watching you drum your heart out on this song brought back memories of you and i in philly at that spike symposium.......your drunk manager tina was talking her +*% off and all i could think of was you taking me and......

say no more gabriella union.....lets be more actions than words love.....

that's "elle"

yeah....both of yall....

cut scene

"mom....here are the key's to your new house...."

i can see it now!!!!

i....

can

just....

taste

it

now

just hold on ahmir....

you got pharrell RIGHT where you want him.....

(wakes up.....or comes to from dreamland)

rich is still scowling.

looks at rich through the booth.....

gives that smug "just killed the chess game look" you little having faith in me @%#++*%$#!@$! i told you im the !!%@ +@*#%! NOW! we got the song I NEED!!! +@*#%!!!!!!

HAAAAAAAAAA!

(RICH ROLLS EYES AND MOUTH SOMETHING but i cant hear or read lips)

"huh?"

(ewwe aji askdka kajfafj NEES sdjkjk aisle)

"the huh?" (eyebrows raised i am NOT stopping this beat til they take me away on a stretcher)

(rich shaking his head "AHDOAF eeeeeeeeee ADJAJ AVE ADPOPA knees aisle"

(knees aisle?)

i channel rich out. he about to bring my high down and i dont even get high.

seeing i got 15 mins left i decided to be like

"whooooooo this is that !!%@!!!!! lets come up with a chorus real quick yo!!!!"

rell: man.....i just wanna say teacher its such an honor to have done that with you......i always wanted to have to honor in saying that i just had a jam session with you.....

"all good my brother but i wanna get that on tape so we can flesh it out cause that !!%@ right there?!?!?! classic classic!!!!!

rell: the huh?

"yeah THAT !!%@!! that !!%@ is the banging !!%@!!!!! we are gonna MURDER that !!%@ yo!!!! let's go!!!!"

rell: oh!!! that !!%@?!?! we just did? hahahahahahaha i can't do that....that was snoops song!!! actually i'm creating that for snoop and desitny's child i was trying to visualize how ill that !!%@ will sound live when NERD tours with Snoop in the fall.....cause i was envisioning some crazy !!%@....like....earth wind........and......then if you can recommend some horn pla............(fades)........(echo)......slow motion.........everything.......getting......hazy...........................

-cut hour later in tour bus--

listening to the beat we hate.

again.

16 eyebrow scowling at me with red in their eye.

"why yall mad at my i thought i was on to something!"

rich: +@*#% i was telling you that was a snoop and destiny's child idea mr "i got this!!!!!"

(knees aisle= destiny's child)

me: hand over forehead

 

[boholkicks]

at the "Eddie Murphy" + Prince story #2

 

[seasoned vet]

Originally Posted by MR 1246

did I miss camron?

- read the Jessica Alba one.

Originally Posted by Seymore CAKE

Originally Posted by EzFlash26

Will's house though? wow!

I needed that insipiration...got damn.

?uest is that dude tho

. His J-Dilla story was

too, made me understand why people feel he's the greatest...

link?


- ill post it. gimmie a minute.

- ill try and find his Chris Webber story too.



- funny thing is Rhymefest did this too, but his was just him burning bridges. and i quote:

Rhymefest:

---

I met Nas when he was recording "We Major" for Kanye's Late Registration album. I was waiting for the deep conversation to happen, and I'm still waiting.

 

[ezflash26]

Originally Posted by Seymore CAKE

Originally Posted by EzFlash26

Will's house though? wow!

I needed that insipiration...got damn.

?uest is that dude tho

. His J-Dilla story was

too, made me understand why people feel he's the greatest...

link?


This was posted by ?uestlove a little while ago on the OkayPlayer Message Boards. It's about the creation of the beat for the Black Star track "Little Brother." Enjoy.

there was a small airport in detroit that had direct flights to jersey and nyc that me and com use to take so much i swear they were gonna offer us stock in the business. it was early 1999 and this was before the jet blueitization of america. matter of fact, america looked down on those small companies after one of them crashed some months before. now we take that $#@! like its no thing.

anywho. we got word of a blizzard that was coming to the D and com wanted to take no risks and wanted to leave asap so he could make a show. so that left me dilla and frank of frank n dank.

i decided to stick to my normal schedule and stay til monday when i was scheduled to leave.

com decides to take the sunday afternoon jawn on the fly. of course i say he's overreacting and im proven wrong once there was about 7 inches on the floor a few hours later. frank nitty laughs at me cause now im stuck in the D. we actually make the most of it. ran to blockbuster to stock up on flicks (detroit is the only place on earth street cats will let prince get away with murder so it was nice to rent under the cherry moon without cringing in front of non prince experts. we also rented my new favorite film of all B films Hav Plenty. stocked up on food. and for the first time ever just chilled for 2 days without the prime motivation being "work". but of course that dont mean dilla didn't provide me with the most amazing display of workmanship ive ever seen.

i mean i knew dude was the crazy when skillz let me hear a beat tape.

and i knew dude wasn't right when booty brown played me a precabincalifornia.

and i knew i wouldn't be the same when dangleo and tip played me the ENTIRE fantastic cassette over the phone LONG DISTANCE to germany (my bill was $382 bucks and WORTH EVERY *%$@%*+ CENT)

and i knew i was in for a treat the many times i came to the crib.

and i knew i was witnessing history when him and pete rock re created half of "mecca and the soul brother" in the basement the weekend "dynamite" was created.

but man…..

what i learned eavesdropping 8am the following day made me a believer. that $#@! made me the stan of ALL stans.

if you are on my computer and need to find dilla. go to genre, and if he had something to do with it? it will be known for its tag: DILLA is GOD.

i won't go into reasons why….for it could be longer than this post. and at this rate its just baiting those who disagree or who refuse to see it or who just wanna be contradictory (aka okayplayers lol)

so i heard this bassline playing for like a good 30 mins

http://www.zshare.net/audio/518263498fc20047 (go to 5:07)

initially i was asleep on the couch upstairs so i knew the bassline from pete's interlude. which i thought "oh he's gonna recreate that interlude"

so i came downstairs and asked what he's up to and he was like

(think brotherman on martin)

"…..nuttin…..just….you'know…..zonin…..tryna figure our how to freak this $#@!….i got an idea in my head but i have to figure out how to solve the puzzle…..its gonna come to me….but i got to figure out how…."

so then he plays

http://www.zshare.net/audio/51826522525e45d7/

for like 40 mins straight.

-now this is the first straight up beat i saw him make from scratch. most of the time he just grabs the ram file and blamo the beat is up (day we first met the "got til its gone" parts were already in the machine and he just created "let's start" for tribe so i had missed those)

first thing i notice is his patience factor….when i make beats i play the record on 45 im skipping parts i aint got time to listen to a record over and over and over and over again….

i ask him about this and he said its better to suffer for 30 mins with a record than to skim through the $#@! and next thing you know you hear someone else use a part you coulda freaked better but cause of lack of patience you opted not to.

hmmm novel thought.

so i asked which approach is his gonna take….and he said he wanted to see if there was another juicy part for him to take…

so now we a half hour into it i was like "well…..there are no clean parts…..roy is talking all over that $#@! over and over….its impossible to find a juicy spot."

lol i wonder if he was appeasing me like "you mere mortal do you not know i created heaven and earth in 7 days? muahahahahahaah" in his head.

he just said

"yuuup….pssshhh man…..i dunno how imma freak it"

so he made a cassette copy for his range and we grabbed food before it was time to take me to the airport.

we went to greektown and came back and he decided before he was going to put the record to bed (this aint the first time he gave up on a loop….the breath and stop sample frustrated him so much he gave me the record to which he would reluctantly find something to give to tip on a last minute attempt) so before the airport he decided to record every piece of the song that had 0 talking on it.

so its like…

an hour later and he has made about 20 pads on the 3000 with samples no longer than half a second each.

he even did a "be my guest" and let me get on to see if i could make some chitterlings off the table scraps from the big house.

nothing.

he retired the thought and drove me to the airport.

i got home and he left a message on my machine.

"whoooooooooooooooooooooooo!! yo! i figured it out!!!!"

check it!!!

(this is okp's own JP's version of the beat so you can have a clear idea on how *%$@%*+ impossible it is to find the open spots on this beat)

http://www.zshare.net/audio/51826995d562688a

when i heard it my jaw dropped.

i was speechless. again. to understand dilla you must first immerse yourself in the music that he uses to create beats. and only when you hear this song more than 20 times you will soon see how *%$@%*+ impossible it is to make this beat as a mere person (so what is JP up to by the way?)

then i was like "yo pete is gonna be **%#%* up when he hears THIS $#@!!"

dilla: NONONONONONONONONO!! naw man….you can't let him hear this man i cant afford that!

?uest: afford what? this $#@! is a miracle!!

dilla: nah man….like i dont want no tension. that's my idol i dont wanna give off the impression that im trying to outshine him….

?uest: but dog im saying if you shine then…..

dilla: nah man….

?uest: so all this $#@! i got with samples he's us-

dilla: yeah man dont let that $#@! get out man….i just do it for practice….

?uest: wait….so this beat is never going to see the light of day ever? you just made it and lost sweat over it for…..sport?

dilla: yeah man….i just practice……

thank god…..kweli had a cassette which had this beat on it for like 15 secs.

they looped it from the cassette.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/51826954e6184aac/

but it was too late and he shrugged it off….

but man……that humility.

if i found a way to bust somebodys #%% for the world to see?

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit i be the first to be like

"oh yeah chris? but can you play with drumsticks in yo pinky toe chump?!?!!?!?!?"

my man.

dilla.

 

[buttons mcboomboom]

Great stuff..thanks for posting this.