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Originally Posted by ShoEPimP702
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Originally Posted by domc03
Walker Texas Ranger wasn't a sitcom but documentary shot in one day.
Originally Posted by jamergrady
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not"attempt" murder.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.