That time i got got. (Athletic edition)

[gentrification]

Owning it. Nice.
Some of this stuff took me decades to come to terms with lol

haha its my first time admitting, took me a decade +

 

[ctidda]

I can proudly say I played my entire bball career and never once was dunked on

Got crossed up and fell in practice by way of the coaches son I tripped over his shoe but nobody cared. Lit him up the rest of practice doe

Mistakenly bounced the ball between a defenders leg in a high school game and finger rolled on em afterwards I got interviewed by the Commercial Appeal(Newspaper) after the game, the reporter thought I was a freshman for some reason. We watched film at practice the next day, it looked like it was purpose so I ran wit it fam

 

[DB Cooper]

Senior year in High School, Varsity Baseball. I was a pretty fast runner in HS. During one of our games, I was at first base. Guy at the plate was a lefty, so the outfield shifted a bit to the right. He smacks a hit into the opposite field corner. Had a decent lead off the bag, and thinking with the shift, I think I could make it home. As I’m rounding 2nd, halfway between 3rd, I take one last look at the outfielder, he’s barely going down for the ball. Odd thing is our coach (he was 3rd base coach) was telling me to stop. I blew by his call and well...

I was thinking no way he’s making that throw. Needless to say I got benched the next 2 games for ignoring coaches call. Not to mention the crap I got from the rest of the team. Next day at school, by 3rd period class, seems like everyone knew I got gunned down.

 

[Captain Slappy]

Loved this

Sorry long reads, took 5 minutes to type so might take the same to read.

I got a few. I used to be good, REALLY good, like legit everyone including college dudes would ask where I play or where I'm going. I probably also had the fastest/steepest decline in history too in overall game (confidence) but also athleticism which was a huge part of it from like 22 to now. I didnt even touch a ball for about 5-6 yrs until very recently and when I walk up to a gym now and look at a 10 foot rim, that **** might as well be the Eiffel Tower it looks so high.

So dunked on, not really nothing terrible, I been in the vicinity when guys dunked, but never like pushed down or mega body contact like that. I never played any meaningful balls so dudes who could do that to you, nobody's really just anxious to get their whole day ruined in pickup games that dont matter even tho we were competitive.

But we played in a tournament in Anadarko. As the name suggest, Native American city, homeboy who put us onto the tournament was native (people think blacks are tribalists, Natives are as bad, or good depending on your perspective, as it gets in that regard) and most the guys in the tourney were. We had 2 on our team and a bunch of bruthaz though. Most teams were like all or most Natives. The stereotypes about them and alcohol and cigarettes and being fat and out of shape... mostly true. But you wouldn't expect that at a basketball tournament with iirc a $250 buy in, $2500 1st place, $2000 2nd.

But legit, the tournament was at the high school. Dudes were literally outside drinking and smoking up until the buzzer, put their jerseys on (they like being shirtless or wearing wife beaters) and walk in the game, like 6ft tall with a beer belly and an obese walk, and first play is a backdoor alleyoop. I'm like what the, homie who went to USAO in Chickasha told me that's how they do, the ones who do. Whatever we had a squad. A pro (semi pro? they were a team who just travels and enters tournaments) team named CSC, us, and this other squad were the favorites. Lots of D1s in the building, Tulsa, Redlands, Oral Roberts, Langston, lots of Oklahoma colleges well respresented. ANyways to me getting got

They got this white dude, short, glasses, nerd looking, had done nothing athletic the whole tournament. He was your john stockton meat and potatoes pg minus the scoring so like Eric Snow. Just dribble handoffs, took open shots, made entry passes, directed traffic. I get iso'd on him and I see him do the Kobe (the iso gesture) and they're clearing out a whole side. Whatever this video game playing *** dude aint getting by me and if he does I got hops and timing of the block from behind. He hit me with THE MEANEST right to left cross, like as he indicated right (his right my left), his shoes and toes like squeaked 2 times that direction, I bit, cross back in front of me, the classic made me turn around to recover level of crossed and I tried to block it, foul, and 1! Couldn't do nothing but dap him up as he walked to the ft line. I'm a smart dude, I don't even know how he baited me to bite on a fake towards middle when everyone is over there and its clear he is going left since that whole side is empty. It was the 2 stutter steps and the shoe skeet skeet. I could demonstrate, hard to describe.

Same tournament, we're playing aforementioned Pro Travel team, CSC. I am checking CSC's big dude, he's about 6'8 (I'm 6'0, probably 220 at the time, I could still dunk so I hadnt completely joined team obesity yet) because I guess I had the most girth in our lineup even though guys on our team were taller. Whatever, I got him. Bent forearm in the back I'm keeping him from getting deep post position, but he's just crab dribble, crab dribble, spin into a jump hoo baseline; crab dribble, crab dribble, spin back baseline, hook with the left, crab dribble, crab dribble, jump stop back and turnaround to 45 degree angle face up shot off glass, money. He probably gave me 5 or 6 straight buckets. Which is fine, he's a pro. I'm in college at the time, the IT dude, he should lol But it was so textbook, mythodical, like Duncan working in a gym with nobody guarding him, like shooting over a chair. Again, he had like 8 inches but still.

Fast forward to the last game, playin for 2nd. There's 7 of us there so 2000 is like 286 each right. We're playing a team, like 90% Natives, last play it's tied I'm "guarding" a dude at like half court, he just flings up some **** and dives at me. Misses badly, overtime, walking back to the bench to plan for extra bsketball... tweet!! Foul, bird dogs me and whatever my number was, the ref furthest from the play (it was open court a ref literally right there) under the basket comes running up, gives him 3 shots with no time left. Gym goes bananas. He smirked, he just has to make 1 out of 3. I think he missed the first, hit the 2nd, then tossed the 3rd. Rumor had it ref was his cousin. IDK, but we were getting shafted all tournament because we had all bruthas and our 2 N.A's actually looked Latinos so we were treated like some invaders. Then I realize this ***** Kev and Brandon got dropped off. We had to ride 7 deep basketball players squeezed into my Grand Prix. #youcantmakethisstuffup Everyone sweating and crying on each other

So it was an NT thread about a summit in NYC. This would be after I have started my rapid descent into obesity and mediocre every once in a while basketball dude, but I was going to NYC that summer anyways so I went. NT heavyweights in the building lol. Got there super early to the CC, Proshares IIRC and I played 2 on 2 against a tall Latino-ish dude in those ugly Foamposite LeBrons with the strap across the top and an athletic, aggressive lefty with Jordan 8 Aquas iirc. We won. I was Shamgodding and Pro was hitting open jumpers. Fast forward to everyone there and us running 5s, had to get used to playing with NY dudes (*****s called a lot of fouls B) and different things like inbounding from the angle so close to the basket, and we played Utah or 44 a few times, and *****s called a lot of fouls. But I was guarding Smittydadon, i dont even think he ever posted much, dude was likr 6'6 very thin, dude was scoring at will. He never missed. I was just mostly rebounds and putbacks, glass taps, could still be good for that at that point in my career. Then he Shamgod'ed me on a fastbreak. I was heartbroken. I used to do that move religiously, never knew how it felt. It's like a man getting pegged. You never want to do that to someone again after finally feeling how it feels. Matter of fact I even have a picture of myself myself mid Sham at one of those And 1 games after that **** fell off and they had to pay that white lady to use their own names. Oh and NT was roasting because I didnt really talk to nobody much, it was no shade, I'm just a shy weirdo (at the time) and NY *****s weird to me calling everyone Gaawd. That's just my steez

Oh and I guess Hot Sauce got me too. Now that I'm talking about that "game," I had a homie record it and uploaded it on Vimeo by the way, Sauce iso'd me and did that dumbass (clearly a double dribble by the way) start to go then grab the ball from one hand to the other and reach back and grab it and go the other way then hit a jumper. I didn't fall or even appear crossed but when I went to jump to contest the jumper, like I couldn't. My legs froze. Nobody was there tho, this was like the 3rd yr holding the game and every time they'd say he was gonna come, he wouldn't because his manager and my guy who was the promoter who set these up had some sort of beef. I had 10 in that game in limited minutes because Coach just played all his guys more.


TLDR:
Crossed and cheated in and Indian Basketball Tourney
Shamgod'ed and just generally given buckets by a NTer in Queens
Alimoe (RIP, strange dude but he was cool) beat me 1 on 1 at Fort Sill Honeycutt gym
I had some nice gots in my time too but thats not what this thread is about. Hot Sauce and White Chocolate (DMV) were scared to play me 1 on 1 when they were picking people out the crowd and cheating at the Open Run
I certify everything to be 100% true with no exaggerations

Make a non athletic version of the thread too

The super carry thing he did was called an air sham, if my dinosaur memory serves me correctly.
We used to call the inside out dribble while going between someones legs, an in an out thru the legs lol. Then we met sauce and he told us it was called a "1 and a half."

 

[Captain Slappy]

When i was in grade 12 i hung out with justin morneau (twins) older bro.
Justin was grade 10. We always used to wrestle with him when he got lippy.

Until 1 day in grade 10 he came home from batting practice and tossed about 3 of our stoner lives off of each basement wall, with great ease.
He then said, " not anymore boys."
Everyone was real nice to justin after that Lol.

It wasnt till he was an MLB allstar that my pride started to recover.

Im still burning from the day he signed his 1st contract when he was 17 and rolled up on us in a brand new Durango(first year they were out) , rolled down the window and said
"Sup b×@%hes"

 

[Captain Slappy]

The fact that i can go on with more stories is making me think, this is actually a "Captain Slappy needs therapy for athletic Ptsd thread"

 

[PRIME]

A youngin' crossed me once at Run n Shoot (my PG/DC heads should know that name)

But in my defense, they were TERRIBLE at keeping those floors swept and cleaned. I was wearing a relatively new pair of nikes that I bought SPECIFICALLY to hoop indoors with.

Son didn't even hit me with anything spectacular, just a regular pullback. It all happened in slow motion (at least in my shoes it did).

I was predicting son's move to the left (my right) and was going to put some body on him to push him back. Let him know I got the straps on him, but he reacted better that I thought he would and yanked that joint back real quick, and I tried to step off my right foot to go the opposite direction with him and before I know it I'm going down.

Worst part of the whole situation was, young boy stopped and looked at me. Now granted at this time I'm like 18-19 maybe. He had to of been 15, so I'm not about to get mad at a youngin' for handing me the L, I'm not the type to fight over a game. But all I hear is "END THAT *****" "SHOOT IT, END HIM" from the sidelines.

Lil man got cocky and looked right at me, had a whole lane open and didn't take the opportunity to drive it. Son was sipping that koolaid, chest was starting to puff out. I could feel the overwhelming confidence in him growing with every millisecond that passed.

He went for the 3 and bricked it.

We won the game. I never hooped there again.

 

[datznasty]

I cant even imagine if i tried to hoop today where I used to. I might join a 50 and up league (I'm 36) so I don't have to run