Serious question, am I wrong for not wanting to date a girl that have kids?

[jdilla14]

basically agree with everyone..

You're young, worry about yourself for the moment dont need to be worrying about kids esp those that are not yours!

Maybe once you hit 30 yea sure it could be diff but you're just getting out of school, figure out your wants and needs before jumping into all that..

 

[tommyicerocking]

3 kids? 

 

[AZwildcats]

naw, the hell you gotta take care of another dude's kids for?

Me personally I wouldn't go out on a date with a chick who has kids.

 

[Mark Antony]

I'd rather not, but I'm not opposed to it. Plus chicks my age tend to have em.

 

[SoleByThePound]

chicks with kids are damaged goods

 

[water]

Not wrong OP. I would never

 

[champcruthik]

It's not a matter of "damaged goods." Most men can't handle the added baggage and stress that almost certainly comes with children from a previous relationship. OP is man enough to admit it, that's fine by me.

However, the theory that men can't fully love children that aren't their own is false.

 

[got2havemykicks]

you got to think of like this. if she didn't have that baggage she wouldn't be interested in u(she needs the security). every single women with kids, has a hidden agenda. week one shes cool and then week two shes giving you the grocery list to stock the fridge and buy them diapers.

 

[Grine]

Nothing wrong wtih it.  I am a single father and I don't date women with kids.

 

[sir charles]

Dating a chick with kids is like playing the sims from someone else's saved file

 

[SoleByThePound]

However, the theory that men can't fully love children that aren't their own is false.

Who brought up this "theory" you speak of?

 

[sofa king awsm]

lol how are you wrong? she wud do the same to you if u had kids. they just butthurt.

 

[southernhospita]

lol how are you wrong? she wud do the same to you if u had kids. they just butthurt.

this

but on that topic it is fully up to you op

im 27 and turm 28 this year alot of broads thats are my age and showed some interest in me 

had at least three kids and its just a no go for me 

but in my case i dont want any kids to begin with (even though I know the right women can change that but it will be her first child)

it makes the choices of women a little slim but there are some out there though thats the good thing

about having that opinion 

 

[fdub]

this


but on that topic it is fully up to you op
im 27 and turm 28 this year alot of broads thats are my age and showed some interest in me 
had at least three kids and its just a no go for me 
but in my case i dont want any kids to begin with (even though I know the right women can change that but it will be her first child)
it makes the choices of women a little slim but there are some out there though thats the good thing
about having that opinion 

I will NEVER do it, damaged goods is a bit harsh, but I understand in a way.

 

[southernhospita]

I will NEVER do it, damaged goods is a bit harsh, but I understand in a way.

yeah of course calling it damaged goods is ******ed 

it would be foolish to think at the age most of us are in that a women 

hasnt made any of those moves as far as starting a family

**** just doesnt work out some times but its always your preference and aint

nothing wrong with it trust me i have heard worst 

some people find a problem with me not wanting kids a problem so im there with you bruh 

 

[killthehype]

No, that's a big responsibility.

 

[ScroogeMcBuckz]

^beyond that its a responsibility that you very well may have no say-so in. The rebuttal to anything you say or do that he/she doesn't agree with is "this is my child." That disconnect alone can cause serious relationship stress.

 

[dayman]

nothing wrong with that

 

[southernhospita]

^beyond that its a responsibility that you very well may have no say-so in. The rebuttal to anything you say or do that he/she doesn't agree with is "this is my child." That disconnect alone can cause serious relationship stress.

this

 

[sundoobie]

Nothing wrong OP. I personally don't care either/or and truthfully sometimes depending on the situation, it's a lot better! Females whom I have dated in the past that have kids, it felt good knowing I had a ready made 'family.' Most likely than not that child support money comes in so I am cool caking of another man's dime! Oh did I also mentioned how great it is to do the fatherly thing and be able to just leave whenever cause you're not the father. It's like having the perks of your own family without all the problems and responsibilities of putting food on the table.

 

[1criollo]

chicks with kids are damaged goods

this.

I explained this to my gf and she was shocked at my explanation, but she agreed once she had some time to think about it.  That being said, neither one of us has kids.

 

[fade on you]

No.
Like when it's time to pay for ish you're daddy, but when they misbehave and it's time for discipline you may as well be a stranger.
Couldnt do it.

going through it right now. smh. Everything that has been said has been true.


disregard that shes hella cool, attractive, smart, and driven.
The responsibilities she has will always come before you.

If shes a baby momma and in school/works.
You don't come 2nd. you come 4th lol. at the end of the race, you are not standing on the podium

The only way I'd see dating a baby momma would be possible , is if you are financially set, and you're ready
to be there for someone else while hardly expecting them to be able to be there for you.

I'm honestly not in that position, because i'm still getting my stuff together.
As of now, I need someone to be there for me as much as I would be there for them.

When you add up what you bring to the table and what she brings to the table, it doesn't add up, it never will.

does not mean, you cant date, mess around...just don't make promises, and don't catch feelings.
if you still getting your stuff together, make that your priority, and if its good, wit baby momma just keep going, until
another situation is more appealing.

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[mzlane]

Alright, so I'm not usually one to respond to many posts but I have to put my two cents in since this is a subject close to my heart. First, no you're not wrong to decide you don't want to date someone with children. Not everyone can handle being second to someone's children. But honestly, unless there's a ring and a marriage certificate you'll always be second whether it be to a career, dreams, etc. I am a single mother, have been for almost thirteen years and while my "baggage" is visible everyone who has ever been in a relationship has their own fair share. People come into relationships with mommy and/or daddy issues, self esteem issues...you get my drift. It's your decision as the person considering someone(guys have baby mommas/ex-wives too) with kids if you're in it for the long run or just playing games. Speaking for myself, my children have a father so I'm not looking for someone to do that. Women (the grown up ones with/without children) are looking for a partner to build a life with, plain and simple.

PS, no I'm not ugly and my goods are far from damaged,

 

[SneakerProSr.]

Shhh I'm 30 and don't date em with kids.

Can't find any your age just date younger women.

 

[shoefreakbaby]

I wouldn't date a man with kids, I dont want to deal with a baby mama.

But you never know