Serious question, am I wrong for not wanting to date a girl that have kids?

[nyzthoro]

No. Especially if you're young. Females with kids was Kryptonite to me when I was in my teens-early 20's. I know I missed out on few goods ones, but I was on my BS back then.  It wasn't until I had my own that I reevaluated my decisions.

 

[dathbgboy]

OP act like he aint just grab the cape from the cleaners, might as well throw it on b.

But nah, u aint wrong about ur feelings OP, not your fault she got knocked up by some lame dude and she single looking for a father figure for her chil'ren

 

[mrdozo]

theres nothing wrong with being selective and avoiding women who have baggage. Thats what you should do.

 

[noblekane]

you are not wrong. its your right to choose. its your preference.

 

[fade on you]

NO!!! Its not wrong at all. And just a word of advice from someone who has done it 2x...DON'T. You will NEVER be first in this woman's life. It is NOT worth it!!

 

[spiceman80]

dog you don't have to do anything that you aren't ready for or would make you uncomfortable. that is way to much baggage and drama especially if you are looking for a future wife. to avoid the unnecessary drama stay away and find your "perfect mate".

Don't lower your standards because you don't want to come off a certain way.

 

[tsx24]

date if not long-term why not? marry idk thats a tough one

this. i swear NT always has a thread that pertains to my life at the moment. anyway i am going to go against the grain and say its ok under certain circumstances. I'm dating a mom and im going in this realizing i will NOT be a long term thing. I like that i come 2nd because than i can go around on weekends messing with other females and have her on the side/weekdays when she needs man-lovin. Early morning dates and then the night is for me with my boys. every situation has its perks, u got to know how to use them to your advantage

 

[jhawk826]

date if not long-term why not? marry idk thats a tough one

this. i swear NT always has a thread that pertains to my life at the moment. anyway i am going to go against the grain and say its ok under certain circumstances. I'm dating a mom and im going in this realizing i will NOT be a long term thing. I like that i come 2nd because than i can go around on weekends messing with other females and have her on the side/weekdays when she needs man-lovin. Early morning dates and then the night is for me with my boys. every situation has its perks, u got to know how to use them to your advantage

If you know its not going to be a long term thing, why date? It just seems like you're trying to pass the time especially when you say mess with other females. I don't advocate dating single mothers, but they are people too. Does she know that you guys are just together for sex?

 

[tripda6]

you definitely not wrong...

I **** em tho, especially dem lightskinded baby mamas

 

[solexsup]

Never have, never will.

 

[Master Zik]

You're not wrong for it at all. Just your preference and standards. You may be missing out on a lot of good matches but that's your decision.

 

[zapatohead408]

naw, the hell you gotta take care of another dude's kids for?

Me personally I wouldn't go out on a date with a chick who has kids.

 

[jthagreat]

If shes a keeper, then why not?
My mom had 2 sons, met a guy, got married and had me. Tho the dude (my dad) is a scumbag for his actions later on, he was a good father to me and my brothers when he was there.

Of course its hard, but if you really love and care for the girl, the 'troubles' that come from playin the role of step-daddy are worth it.

In a perfect world, of course we want our lady to not have kids, just like we want a girl who's never been smashed by another dude (back in the day) but its not likely...and who wants an inexperienced girl anyway?

 

[richiecotite]

Before someone ask me, I just turned 26 last Monday, so let me answer that before someone ask me. Now a days so many people are having kids at an early age and it's becoming to be a little overwhelming to say the least. There have been a few girls that was trying to get to know from recent experiences and what not, but once I found out that they have kids, it kind of turned me off and I end up losing big interest. I guess I am a little old fashion, but I would want to date or possibly marry a lady that have absolutely no kids at the time we get acquainted with each other. Dating a girl with kids is like dating someone that have baggage from their previous relationship and I don't want no parts of that what so ever. A month ago, a friend of mine told me that I am selfish and need to lower my standards a little bit(It was girl that said that by the way that have 3 kids, so go figure). I am about to graduate in college in May and I have a possible job lined up for me, so I don't want any possible drama to stop me. So me not wanting to date a girl with kids a bad thing? I know I am not the only one that feels this way.

I think having kids is a blessing, but I just feel as though both parties should be financially stabled and comfortable before deciding to have a child. That's just my opinion.

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[Betonblck]

chicks with kids are damaged goods

You are a scumbag. Not for having preferences but for calling them damaged goods.

 

[dunksondunks]

The worst is when these broads wait till the third date to tell you.  

 

[relentless]

No man, not wrong at all. As most people have said, it depends on what you're comfortable with and if her kids are giving you pause, then much respect to you for being honest about it and not going through the motions.

I personally couldn't see myself doing it either, but never say never. Ultimately if the girl is important enough to you then her having kids, while not something you can dismiss or ignore, will not prevent you from going for her. If you have reservations about her, it just means that you aren't feeling her that much.

 

[lovehateself]

its all circumstantial, but i got a "no-no-no list" like my man tom haverford, if a girl has a kid/kids i let her know right off the bat that there is no long term relationship in our future. now if shes ok with it and just wants to hang out/fool around ( well we now know why she has a kid, haha) but on the real i have my own rules when it comes to relationships, but everybodies situation is different. just be real to yourself cause you sure as hell dont have an obligation to her or her kids. 

 

[jaypiff]

I wouldn't wife a chick up with any kids. But I could fool around with one a little bit. Never nothing serious tho...

 

[blazinrook]

going through it right now. smh. Everything that has been said has been true.


disregard that shes hella cool, attractive, smart, and driven.
The responsibilities she has will always come before you.

If shes a baby momma and in school/works.
You don't come 2nd. you come 4th lol. at the end of the race, you are not standing on the podium

The only way I'd see dating a baby momma would be possible , is if you are financially set, and you're ready
to be there for someone else while hardly expecting them to be able to be there for you.

I'm honestly not in that position, because i'm still getting my stuff together.
As of now, I need someone to be there for me as much as I would be there for them.

When you add up what you bring to the table and what she brings to the table, it doesn't add up, it never will.

does not mean, you cant date, mess around...just don't make promises, and don't catch feelings.
if you still getting your stuff together, make that your priority, and if its good, wit baby momma just keep going, until
another situation is more appealing.

 

[djexpanium]

Before someone ask me, I just turned 26 last Monday, so let me answer that before someone ask me. Now a days so many people are having kids at an early age and it's becoming to be a little overwhelming to say the least. There have been a few girls that was trying to get to know from recent experiences and what not, but once I found out that they have kids, it kind of turned me off and I end up losing big interest. I guess I am a little old fashion, but I would want to date or possibly marry a lady that have absolutely no kids at the time we get acquainted with each other. Dating a girl with kids is like dating someone that have baggage from their previous relationship and I don't want no parts of that what so ever. A month ago, a friend of mine told me that I am selfish and need to lower my standards a little bit(It was girl that said that by the way that have 3 kids, so go figure). I am about to graduate in college in May and I have a possible job lined up for me, so I don't want any possible drama to stop me. So me not wanting to date a girl with kids a bad thing? I know I am not the only one that feels this way.

I think having kids is a blessing, but I just feel as though both parties should be financially stabled and comfortable before deciding to have a child. That's just my opinion.

Nope, don't even beat yourself up about it. There's still plenty of women out there who share your sentiments. Nobody should willfully want to carry someone else's burden. The problem in society with both men and women is the belief that having kids will make the counterpart stay, and as we are witnessing, it's the furthest thing from the truth. Now we're stuck in a age of single parents with scorned attitudes.

chicks with kids are damaged goods

You are a scumbag. Not for having preferences but for calling them damaged goods.

All People make mistakes.  Not all females that have/had kids at a young age don't have this so-called "baggage". There are females that have gotten stronger and not let their children affect their own personal progress while still making strives to success.

 

[tsx24]

If you know its not going to be a long term thing, why date? It just seems like you're trying to pass the time especially when you say mess with other females. I don't advocate dating single mothers, but they are people too. Does she know that you guys are just together for sex?

Yeah she knows. Single mothers have so much to deal with that for her a relationship isn't a priority since she's dealing with so much. She's using me as much as I am her. It's mutual.

 

[skip2mylou23]

I wouldn't do it, either.

 

[lovehateself]

All People make mistakes.  Not all females that have/had kids at a young age don't have this so-called "baggage". There are females that have gotten stronger and not let their children affect their own personal progress while still making strives to success.

certain ppl dont have motivation for progress until it falls out of them, literally. 

i have an old friend who i went to hs with, 3 kids by 21 and now 5yrs later she has a good man ( not the baby-daddy) her own house and set financially, she worked hard ( and i do mean hard, but she had a good support system behind her to help out). certain ppl struggle more than others but like i said its all circumstantial and just a matter of prioritizing things in life.

 

[club]

You are a scumbag. Not for having preferences but for calling them damaged goods.

well the baby can cause quite a bit of stress on the mother on his/her way out of the womb so technically im not wrong.

now take it back.