Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

[dagrandesoda]

That def sounds like rape. Thats not cool man

 

[Peep Game]

 

[Shanegerous]

thread keeps getting funnier.

 

[mrkittles20]

Nah, apparently she just hurt her back when she hit the corner of the end table. My mind went into overdrive thinking I did some real, fatal damage to her.
She was a super ho and she had already gotten with a handful of those dudes that ran the train. She was drunk I'm sure, but she wasn't raped. Crazy the things you grow up around ans see that come off as normal in the moment but abnormal when reflecting.

 

[repsupsince87]

So there was this chick I had been friends with for years. And out of nowhere we got close and she wanted to take it to the next level.I always liked her because she was older and just a down chick shes a bad chick she got her career going and a female sneaker head a plus in my book.  So I got a hotel one day and she came to the hotel. Before I went to the hotel I remember my barber always talking about this Viagra spray he had and how he would last for hours at a time. So I wanted to use it too . So she came to the hotel like you see a fine chick coming to the hotel in movies. Makeup done right the right panties and Bra on point. So in my mind I felt like I was about to pull a Mike Tyson and knock this one OUT..... Fellas I'm sad to say that this spray did the complete opposite. Lets say the kid had a flat tire.Even after she did all she could to inflate my tire. And to add insult to injury she just looked at me and said its ok BABY lets cuddle.

So thats my story.

 

[trueballer507]

Originally Posted by chatta718

So here's mine...

About 3 years ago I had a chick I worked with that was like the most annoying human I've ever worked with .... So one night out the blue she calls me like if I feel like I'm feeling right now u gonna get it .. So I'm confused but if she gonna just give it up ... Imma pummel Dat box ... So then she shows up at my door and her clothes flew off .. I immediately pounded her doggy on the living room couch and slapped the cheeks extra hard ... Come to find out she likes it rough..so after 10 mins of me beating it up crazy shes like she wanna ride me... She got on top and started to convulse so while I'm watching her climax her hands slip up to my neck and lights out !! I woke up to her laying on top of me and I was swinging frantic lmao smh ole girl choked me out ... That was the Last time we spoke lol I'll never gut something out that I work with .....

  

 

[highrep87]

Originally Posted by Zyzz

guess you can chalk this one as sexual. i posted it on here years ago when i first did it.

this was 5 years ago, i was hooked on playing halo for xbox. my mom got mad at me for doing bad in school and always playing so she took it away, of course i was mad as well. that night i went to take a shower, still fuming at my halo being taken away i see my moms shampoo bottle so i start fapping and nutted in my mothers shampoo.

never told anyone except for NT.

dude your like way off, like scary creepy

 

[airphilippines]

Originally Posted by Smedroc

This happened on NYE actually.

Met a chick, she took me back to the hotel, we start getting down etc...

Anyway against my better judgement i decide im gonna eat the box

... But not the regular way... I seen this prono where dude has the chick sat on his shoulders while he's stood up and he's just nyammin that thang... +%%$ looked boss so i thought i'd try it out. However i'm not as brolic as this dude was so i thought i'll do it against the wall for some support. So i lift this girl up on my shoulders and go to lean her up against what i thought was a wall....

Unfortunately all the Jack and red wine caused me to make a slight misjudgment....what i thought to be a wall was infact a doorway. So as i plant her against fresh air this erotic sexual act suddenly becomes a running powerbomb

This chick hits the canvas HARD with my full weight to follow. She's goes into a semi foetal position and starts wimpering quietly, complaining that her side hurts. I didn't know whether to apologise to this girl or pin her shoulders down for the 3 count. Needless to say i got dressed and left the hotel shortly afterward.

 

[highrep87]

I was hitting my ex missionary position and we were really into it, shorty says harder and faster!?!?! while biting my earlobes.. got ya boy feeling like he on a 3 on 1 fast break, gotta finish strong with a tomahawk slam. I lean out winding my back out and Im going in with the finishing thrust... i miss and goes into the wrong hole.. shorty legs immediately straighten out and thighs shaking, with a huge scream.. her eyes roll upwards ..she looked like she got electrocuted. all i could do was *kanye shrug*

 

[odog24]

Originally Posted by Dagrandesoda

Originally Posted by Rolaholic

This dude Dagrandesoda = Mogulshun? 

Yes.

oh shunmugshunmug 

shun shun

 

[kramer]

Originally Posted by HighRep87

I was hitting my ex missionary position and we were really into it, shorty says harder and faster!?!?! while biting my earlobes.. got ya boy feeling like he on a 3 on 1 fast break, gotta finish strong with a tomahawk slam. I lean out winding my back out and Im going in with the finishing thrust... i miss and goes into the wrong hole.. shorty legs immediately straighten out and thighs shaking, with a huge scream.. her eyes roll upwards ..she looked like she got electrocuted. all i could do was *kanye shrug*

electrocuted

 

[Humbled]

Originally Posted by Kramer

Originally Posted by HighRep87

I was hitting my ex missionary position and we were really into it, shorty says harder and faster!?!?! while biting my earlobes.. got ya boy feeling like he on a 3 on 1 fast break, gotta finish strong with a tomahawk slam. I lean out winding my back out and Im going in with the finishing thrust... i miss and goes into the wrong hole.. shorty legs immediately straighten out and thighs shaking, with a huge scream.. her eyes roll upwards ..she looked like she got electrocuted. all i could do was *kanye shrug*

electrocuted

WOW 

 

[cap1229]

"ole girl chocked me out...." I'm in tears.

 

[41239]

Originally Posted by yallayalla

Originally Posted by JKomorowski09

.my old girl
.hitting from behind
.bringggg that luuummmmbbaaaa
.slipped out
.got it back in instantly
.wrong hole
.she cried
.i convinced her to let me finish
.i did so
.she was still crying

had the same experience.. she didnt let me finish tho 

cant lie, ive tried a fast one before but it never fits, you guys must be on hulk mode for real because the only way im goin in is if its seriously jammed in

 

[41239]

Originally Posted by Repsupsince87


So there was this chick I had been friends with for years. And out of nowhere we got close and she wanted to take it to the next level.I always liked her because she was older and just a down chick shes a bad chick she got her career going and a female sneaker head a plus in my book.  So I got a hotel one day and she came to the hotel. Before I went to the hotel I remember my barber always talking about this Viagra spray he had and how he would last for hours at a time. So I wanted to use it too . So she came to the hotel like you see a fine chick coming to the hotel in movies. Makeup done right the right panties and Bra on point. So in my mind I felt like I was about to pull a Mike Tyson and knock this one OUT..... Fellas I'm sad to say that this spray did the complete opposite. Lets say the kid had a flat tire.Even after she did all she could to inflate my tire. And to add insult to injury she just looked at me and said its ok BABY lets cuddle.

So thats my story.

lmao, they got you man, they were probably laughin at you so hard, but all was not lost, was she your girl? if so then you already know theres a second chance comin

 

[KMante]

Originally Posted by Kramer

Originally Posted by HighRep87

I was hitting my ex missionary position and we were really into it, shorty says harder and faster!?!?! while biting my earlobes.. got ya boy feeling like he on a 3 on 1 fast break, gotta finish strong with a tomahawk slam. I lean out winding my back out and Im going in with the finishing thrust... i miss and goes into the wrong hole.. shorty legs immediately straighten out and thighs shaking, with a huge scream.. her eyes roll upwards ..she looked like she got electrocuted. all i could do was *kanye shrug*

electrocuted

Like a Boss!

 

[manny1]

these stories took place in 05 to 06. i have more but im at work right now. i was wild and didnt care what i did when i was in my mid 20's.

first.
went to the club and got mad drunk. ended up meeting this chick. both of us got so drunk we blacked out. We were in the VIP room and we ended up doing it on the stairway. as far as i was told by my boys was that the bouncer caught us doing it and just watched us as i finished. the bouncer told my boys as soon as i spotted him watching i gave him the thumbs up like the dude in the movie Waiting when he was doing his chick in the restroom lol

second.
me and my boy brought these two chicks that were sisters from the club to his house. my boy was in his room getting it on with one chick and i was in the living room doing the other chick. so im on top doing this chick on the couch and im about to bust one and all of the sudden i feel is a cold hand on my balls. %%#% scared me so i jump up and turn around and as soon as i do i bust one all over the chick my boy was doing. she has it all over her stomach. i was like what the +%!% are you doing. she said that she was trying to get her phone because her sister had it and she need to make a call and we were laying on top of the phone. i was like my bad and all i remember her telling me was " at least you didnt bust on in my sister and got her pregnant" lol

third.
me and two of my boys are leaving the club and we meet these 3 chicks in the parking lot of the club. so i ended up in the car with one these chicks and im straight messing around with her. all of the sudden she starts to give me head and im feeling like a boss. at the same time the cops are walking around the parking lot trying to get people to leave. we are like the last cars in the parking lot so the cops start talking to my boys and the other 2 chicks outside the car. next thing you know i hear a knock on the window and one of the cop is looking at me with a big smile. tells us to take it to the house. the other two chicks didnt know what was going on with me and there friend and all i hear from one of the chicks standing outside is " mom what are you doing" this chick was 35 years old but looked like she was in her mid 20's. she looks at her daughter and said " you act like you never gave head before" i couldn’t stop laughing on the way home.

forth.
I was at his chicks house that I have been talking to for a minute. she would tell me that her mom was really cool and didn’t care what she did and who she talked to. so im there chillen and were watching a movie in the living room and her mom walks in. her mom starts to talk to me and a hour passes by. Her mom tells her

 

[JayDean03]

Originally Posted by manny1


I was at his chicks house that I have been talking to for a minute. she would tell me that her mom was really cool and didn’t care what she did and who she talked to. so im there chillen and were watching a movie in the living room and her mom walks in. her mom starts to talk to me and a hour passes by. Her mom tells her

 

[grizzly hebert]

Originally Posted by sreggie101

Originally Posted by remix

Originally Posted by mrkittles20

Ok, so when I was younger my best friends house was a haven for girls and drugs. Their mom started dating some dude and lived with him, so she only came through once every other week to drop off groceries. Anyway, the eldest brother had a best friend that was the county supplier for all things illegal, so there would be these crazy !@# parties there every night.

So I'm like 14 and had just recently started to get down and didn't really know much beyond what I had heard and what little I did.

So me and this town %%@%! go into a bedroom in the basement where the party is going on and I'm hitting it from the back.

She had a really nice bottom, so I had it palmed and pushed apart as I'm doing the young buck jack rabbit.

I'm going way too fast and my D comes out and she simultaneously queefs on me REALLY loud.

(*At this time I should side bar and say that I had always had a deep seeded fear of female bodily functions and thought that periods and farts/poops from a girl was about the most disgraceful thing God ever did).

So I make this terrified face and my whole body got stiff and, without realizing what I'm doing, proceed to do a super fast slap/jab to the back of her head. She wasn't ready for it, so she jumps forward and hits the wall with her head/neck at a weird angle and falls off the bed and her back/shoulder hit the edge of the nightstand and she starts making these weird gurgle/scream/groan noises and her eyes are sluggishly darting all over the place.

I'm just a drunk/high 14 year old that doesn't know a damn thing about a damn thing, so I think I paralyzed this girl. I look around assessing the situation and did the only thing I could think to do, which was run buck naked out the house and into the woods and I ran back to my house through the woods (It was like 1/8 of a mile shortcut through the woods of the neighborhood to my house).

I get home and sneak in through my window and get into the bathroom to take a shower and kind of just want to fall down and cry because I thought I was gonna be going to jail any minute. I look down and the condom in just kind of half dangling from my junk and I take it off and finish up.

I was so worried about going to jail that I got dressed, went back out of my window and slept in the back up my parents pick up truck that had a cap on the bed of it.

Woke up the next morning and went back to my friends house and they just laughed at me and told me that everyone there just laughed at me for a few minutes and then a bunch of grimey dudes went in the room and half the neighborhood ran a train on this girl.

ppl just really missed that...

hang on, a train was ran while she was knocked out/seizing? isn't that rape?

Just choked on my pineapple Fanta.

  

 

[nightruans]

Originally Posted by KMante

Originally Posted by Kramer

Originally Posted by HighRep87

I was hitting my ex missionary position and we were really into it, shorty says harder and faster!?!?! while biting my earlobes.. got ya boy feeling like he on a 3 on 1 fast break, gotta finish strong with a tomahawk slam. I lean out winding my back out and Im going in with the finishing thrust... i miss and goes into the wrong hole.. shorty legs immediately straighten out and thighs shaking, with a huge scream.. her eyes roll upwards ..she looked like she got electrocuted. all i could do was *kanye shrug*

electrocuted

Like a Boss!

electrocuted

 

[ravagebx]

Damn Grizz where u been at!? Aint seen you post in a minute.

 

[mross16]

I was eating a chick out once. She wasn't big, but she wasn't small either. She was squating over my face and while I'm going to work with the tongue I taste something a little bitter lol. I'm like %%% is that, she was like oops I tinkled. I must say I felt violated at that time.

 

[bravo]

Originally Posted by mross16

I was eating a chick out once. She wasn't big, but she wasn't small either. She was squating over my face and while I'm going to work with the tongue I taste something a little bitter lol. I'm like %%% is that, she was like oops I tinkled. I must say I felt violated at that time.

more fitting gif

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Spoiler [+]

Spoiler

 

[antidope]

Originally Posted by manny1

third.
me and two of my boys are leaving the club and we meet these 3 chicks in the parking lot of the club. so i ended up in the car with one these chicks and im straight messing around with her. all of the sudden she starts to give me head and im feeling like a boss. at the same time the cops are walking around the parking lot trying to get people to leave. we are like the last cars in the parking lot so the cops start talking to my boys and the other 2 chicks outside the car. next thing you know i hear a knock on the window and one of the cop is looking at me with a big smile. tells us to take it to the house. the other two chicks didnt know what was going on with me and there friend and all i hear from one of the chicks standing outside is " mom what are you doing" this chick was 35 years old but looked like she was in her mid 20's. she looks at her daughter and said " you act like you never gave head before" i couldn’t stop laughing on the way home.

forth.
I was at his chicks house that I have been talking to for a minute. she would tell me that her mom was really cool and didn’t care what she did and who she talked to. so im there chillen and were watching a movie in the living room and her mom walks in. her mom starts to talk to me and a hour passes by. Her mom tells her

 

[bravo]

Originally Posted by manny1

you got to be trollin with them last 2 stories lol