Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

[suprduperfly]

I thank all contributors, duck and non-duck.

 

[justhotkicks]

Probably the most epic story i've ever ready on Best Of Craigslist.

 

[KMante]

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Nktran001 wrote:

---

Ol' girl only allowed me to anal and never took her jeans off all the way.

So one night, I just pulled her jeans all the way down and snatch the panties off.. come to find out...........

He had a Stu moment in Bangkok from The Hangover II 

 

[antidope]

Originally Posted by justhotkicks

Probably the most epic story i've ever ready on Best Of Craigslist.

I would have to move out.

 

[bronle]

So that dude ever gonna finish his story about what happened when he pulled down "it's" pants...

 

[mister916]

Originally Posted by justhotkicks

Probably the most epic story i've ever ready on Best Of Craigslist.

Although disgusting, He painted a perfect picture in my head. Like how she painted those walls.

 

[sooperhooper]

Originally Posted by ar916

Originally Posted by Bigmike23

Originally Posted by Smedroc

This happened on NYE actually.

Met a chick, she took me back to the hotel, we start getting down etc...

Anyway against my better judgement i decide im gonna eat the box

... But not the regular way... I seen this prono where dude has the chick sat on his shoulders while he's stood up and he's just nyammin that thang... +%%$ looked boss so i thought i'd try it out. However i'm not as brolic as this dude was so i thought i'll do it against the wall for some support. So i lift this girl up on my shoulders and go to lean her up against what i thought was a wall....

Unfortunately all the Jack and red wine caused me to make a slight misjudgment....what i thought to be a wall was infact a doorway. So as i plant her against fresh air this erotic sexual act suddenly becomes a running powerbomb

This chick hits the canvas HARD with my full weight to follow. She's goes into a semi foetal position and starts wimpering quietly, complaining that her side hurts. I didn't know whether to apologise to this girl or pin her shoulders down for the 3 count. Needless to say i got dressed and left the hotel shortly afterward.

TEARS!!!!!!

  

Ive never laughed this much ever LMAOOOOOOOO running powerbomb had be

 

My son made that Wale remix "Looooooootuss Power Bomb"

 

[air kalo]

Originally Posted by ToLiveandDieinNJ

Met a chick online. Told me she was 33, but she looked pretty good. I get to the crib, and she must've used pics from when she was 25 or something. Anyway, she made me dinner, but it took me longer than anticipated to get there, so she had ate already. She stared at me and watched me eat. She also failed to mention that she lived with her cousin and 7 yr old nephew. Also failed to mention, that her bedroom was the living room with a big curtain, and that the cable that the curtain hung on was broken. So I'm there about an hour and we're watching a movie on the couch with the lil kid, doing kid things. Her cousin offered up her bedroom to us and slept on the couch. So we smash, and I must admit the P was super tight, she told me she hadn't been w/ a dude in 2 years. IDk about all that, but the P was def nice.

We were up pretty late messing around, next morning she wakes me up, and just basically takes it with me on my back, squeezed it at the base and just jumped on. I busted in like 3mins, and wasn't even sure if I came, she was so violent. We went out to lunch and came back and this kid is showing me all his artwork, and they are telling me, he's usually so quiet and doesn't open up to people. So now I'm just feeling awkward,(knowing that I'd never go back there) I also fixed the subwoofer on her cousin's surround sound, it was unplugged, I also fixed the bathroom sink, and thru out the whole afternoon, we're sitting on the couch and she kept saying "I wanna jump your bones", in front of her cousin and nephew, and it just made me so uncomfortable. After about the 17th time saying it, and realizing I wasn't receptive, she started saying, I guess I'm never going to see you again. It was just freaking weird. Oh I also shoveled, the bottom of their driveway, because they did a horrendous job shoveling, and my car got stuck trying to pulling out when we had went to lunch. It was just a bizarre friday night/sat, she also tried to have me stay Saturday night, but I said my boy owed me money and was ready to pay me back, just so I could leave, she was in CT and I live in NJ.

Met another chick online, really cute, a lil chubby and very busty. Anyway, exchanged phone #s and texted back and forth, randomly out of nowhere she texted me a couple shots of her boobs and coochie. I was busy doing something so I didn't see the texts for like 30mins and she thought she offended me and started apologizing, so instead of saying anything back, I just sent a pic of my meat and she told me that she would worship it. (1st warning she is a crazy), so we proceed to text the rest of the week and make plans to meet that Friday for dinner. I offered multiple times to pick her up at her house but she was like nah, I don't sleep with guys on the 1st date. We meet at the restaurant and as soon as she sees me, she says I'm cuter in person and starts pinching my butt. Anyway we eat, and I walk her back to her car, before I can ask if she wants to grab a drink or something, she's like "So are you coming over?" I get to her crib, and she has 3 parrots, and all of them have no feathers but their heads and tails, and she calls them her babies and was feeding them her left over cheeseburger (2nd crazy sign, the birds were tweaked out). she then proceeds to tell me about her miscarried baby she had 5 yrs ago, referring to her daughter and telling me about her ex (3rd sign). Anyway she had said something previously to me about burning, so I brought an eL of some nice bud and got her roasted, next thing you know, we're making out. She randomly starts laughing and says no guy ever kisses her this much and she usually is sucking D by now. I'm like oh jeez, and then just start to strip her and get it in. And after she said all that, I wasn't feeling her anymore, and I just couldn't bust, after about 35mins I finally, nut and I was hitting it doggy and pulled out and literally filled the small of her back with jizz, she starts giggling saying, she's never felt that much on her body. Fast forward, the birds are in the other room making the most loud obnoxious noises, I keep hitting my head on that doorway to her bedroom, bc she lived in a weird apt, we smash again. and it's like 5am, we go out to smoke a cig and I prepare to leave, she's like "oh you're not sleeping over?" and I'm like nah, I'll just zip home, i live about 40mins away from her. So I leave, and about 15mins later she texts me that, she misses me, (crazy sign 4), We keep texting thru the week again, and I just lose interest. She flips the full on crazy switch and said "I can't believe, I thought I could love you" and I just lost it and kept trolling her, this lead to a text battle and she would text me something bananas and then I'd reply and she say stop texting me, and then text again, at one point she told me I couldn't bust because of pot and I needed rehab, lol. This went on for like half a day and I just kept finding it more and more funny so I kept egging her on. She then said she was calling the police and I'm like go for it, you keep texting me idiot and then she threatened to call my parents and tell them I'm harrassing her. Mind you I'm 27, so I google her last name and the town where told me she's from, and find her parent's phone number and just text it to her. After that she just said, I'm sorry and never bugged me again. Chick was nuts.

SON.

 

[atlien seeko]

Originally Posted by sooperhooper

Originally Posted by ar916

Originally Posted by Bigmike23


TEARS!!!!!!

  

Ive never laughed this much ever LMAOOOOOOOO running powerbomb had be

 

My son made that Wale remix "Looooooootuss Power Bomb"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[illmaticblueprint]

Originally Posted by Mister916

Originally Posted by justhotkicks

Probably the most epic story i've ever ready on Best Of Craigslist.

Although disgusting, He painted a perfect picture in my head. Like how she painted those walls.

This....but WHOA.

 

[thunderchunk69]

Originally Posted by Air Kalo

Originally Posted by ToLiveandDieinNJ

I get to her crib, and she has 3 parrots, and all of them have no feathers but their heads and tails,

SON.

LMFAOGUAOGU
HIGH PITCHED SCREECH 

 

[Pathos]

Originally Posted by Smedroc

gif is dead on 

damn, b 

 

[zapatohead408]

Originally Posted by TransAm

@ this thread. I laughed at too many so I got to add one.

I had been feeling this chick for awhile and while we flirted and all that it wasn't until my boy's house party we hooked up. Long story my boy let's me use his bedroom, I had been trying to stay somewhat sober at this point but with the aspect of getting it in with this girl I ended up doing a good number of shots beforehand. So we head up stairs and start messing around, one thing leads so another and I get behind this chick and we go at it. She's pushing back hard which was so

 and telling me to hit it harder, so I smirk all confident like "Oh you wanna go?"  and with the force of a mack truck I slam myself forward thinking she's gonna love it (I'm not a skinny dude either 6'1 230ish at that time ) but instead of a a moan/scream/whatever I was looking for I hear a CRACK! and straight laced this chick into the wooden headboard not realizing how close to it I was. I swore I lost her for a minute or two, body had to go limp but I'm freaking out thinking I killed this girl. Next thing I hear is a groggy groan and she starts crying.....

Needless to say, we didn't speak of this afterwards or ever again really

this had me in tears, just the thought of hitting her so hard to the point where she launches into and cracks a headboard is too much.

 

[iblink]

Originally Posted by RavageBX

Originally Posted by twizzi

on the night i went to get my first tattoo i was with my one of my ex's but she had curfew and what not so i hadda take her home before it was my turn to get tatted, so we dip off so i can drop her,we get to her crib and have a few minutes to kill before she actually has to be in, so of course one thing leads to another and we start getting it on in the back seat of my car after awhile the condom got all uncomfy and what not so we discarded and continued to smash, she climbs on top and goes to work, i start to feel the eruption i push her off last minute and catch the worst of it on the bottom of my chin and on my shirt.....

....we had to run inside so i can wash my chin and i borrowed a t-shirt she had and dipped off to get tatted,while everyone was looking at like me like what the **%% took so long

 now that i look back at it i be 

So you mean to tell me you money shot yourself? 

PLEASE DO NOT OVERLOOK THIS

 

[Bert.]

that craigslist story is awesome

 

[ins]

Originally Posted by justhotkicks

Probably the most epic story i've ever ready on Best Of Craigslist.

Oh yeah, I thought. Last night's adventure involved a clown mask, three packets of Pop Rocks, and a twenty-inch replica of the Eiffel Tower.

what

 

[kiendienn]

Originally Posted by Chrisb9393

Originally Posted by slickp42189

Originally Posted by Kramer

Dude... I guess she's more at fault but still that's beyond messed up. And Zyzz, please never post again after that

you foul as **+% bruh, that $%%+ was ratchet as **+% dude, out of order 

So wrong. Not one damn was given.

Should've hit em with the, "do you want a brother or sister?" 

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by sooperhooper

Originally Posted by ar916

Originally Posted by Bigmike23


TEARS!!!!!!

  

Ive never laughed this much ever LMAOOOOOOOO running powerbomb had be

 

My son made that Wale remix "Looooooootuss Power Bomb"

I am actually crying from laughter at my desk

 

[yobyellav]

early arrival is all i have

 

[loveofthegame916]

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by Mangudai954


She just got out of the shower. I was laying on her bed..she comes out gets on the bed and we start kissing..take my clothes off and she starts doming. I guess she took a #+%* after she showered and didnt completely wipe. She turns around in the 69 position and I can see the *++@ that's still between her %*! cheeks and I start groaning out of disgust. She starts talking *++@ thinking shes putting in work all the while im trying to figure out how to get out of this. That night was horrible.

Ahhhhh heelllllll no....that's OD bro

Not a single damb given by these women.

My prayers with her and her family.
That after shower s___ kills the whole day, word to tosh.

But seriously if you know your about have sex wash your A__!

It's common sense!

Real tears!

 

[bwood056]

Originally Posted by KillTheHype

On new years I went to some guys house with my best friend and her cousin (the guy who's house he went to was god-cousin or something with my best friends cousin).

Well anyways, we got really drunk, he was ugly, I passed out, we had sex, in the morning he tried to wake me up for more and I said I was a lesbian thinking I didn't have sex with him already. I kept going at it and going at it until I saw the condom on the floor. I felt so stupid. I can't believe I did that. I hope the sex was at least good.

Oh yeah, and when I looked in the other direction, on the floor was my cousins best friend sleeping. He heard everything. Including my best friend who had sex with the other guy who lived with them in the living room. She was on her period -_________________-

this wasnt in tampa was it ?????

 

[stay lurkin]

I have the semen like Peter North

Anyways, a girl was giving me the hand and I was sitting/laying on my back/butt and told her I was cumin etc. She then has it kinda pointed at me I guess and I blasted all over my chest and face. I mean like,.....I got the treatment. I was tipsy so that helped me not care as much but

that was not for me to experience

 

[stay lurkin]

Originally Posted by Tero

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Nktran001 wrote:

---

Ol' girl only allowed me to anal and never took her jeans off all the way.

So one night, I just pulled her jeans all the way down and snatch the panties off.. come to find out...........

 

[essential1]

Was getting dome from this girl that had been trying to get with me for a while (I wasn't interested and told her that but was still able to finagle my way into getting dome).. I was laying on my back on the bed. At the time she had to leave is when I popped.. So I'm sitting on the side of the bed. And try to stand up to walk her to the door..

And once I tried to stand up my legs just collapsed and I fell to the ground... Was like in any war movie when it gets all silent and the troops are in the field and then someone gets sniped.. That's how I fell..

Was pretty awkward walking her to the door like I was crippled..

I think she sucked the soul out of my body like the shadow people in the movie Ghost.

 

[John Wick]

Originally Posted by bwood056

Originally Posted by KillTheHype

On new years I went to some guys house with my best friend and her cousin (the guy who's house he went to was god-cousin or something with my best friends cousin).

Well anyways, we got really drunk, he was ugly, I passed out, we had sex, in the morning he tried to wake me up for more and I said I was a lesbian thinking I didn't have sex with him already. I kept going at it and going at it until I saw the condom on the floor. I felt so stupid. I can't believe I did that. I hope the sex was at least good.

Oh yeah, and when I looked in the other direction, on the floor was my cousins best friend sleeping. He heard everything. Including my best friend who had sex with the other guy who lived with them in the living room. She was on her period -_________________-

this wasnt in tampa was it ?????