Positive Male Influence Appreciation Thread

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

This past semester and my first semester in graduate school my clinical adviser pulled me to the side after Head Start one day and told me she was really happy I was in her group and what I was doing for the kids and told me I was a positive male influence on 2 of the boys in the class who didn't have a proper male figure at home.

I know that feel.

 

[boris]

The responses in this thread prove that we need more positive real men and they are an endangered species.

Dudes posting Pharrell before their own fathers

Dudes replying about how a woman can do just as good

Dudes replying with fictional movie characters

Not one "My dad did a great job setting an example" or "Didn't have pops growing up but AAU coach and brothers showed me the way" yet

at society in 2013

Yeah, not everyone is a misogynist. 

 

[dt43]

Probably my cousin, but he didn't really do any direct mentoring. He just showed me the value of internships in college & I took that & ran with it.

Outside of that, didn't really have a positive male influence. I taught myself everything that you talked about in your OP.

Im not saying pharrell isn't positive. I'm saying he can't teach you the things a father or somebody close to you can. Is that not hard to understand?

If that's the case then no one can teach you anything.

I actually spent a good part of my life unlearning things I learned from my father and figuring them out for myself. And I wouldn't change that if I could.

As they say "Experience is the best teacher."

 

[shoefreakbaby]

Im a daddys girl to the max, he spoiled me and doubt I will find anyone like him.

He always speaks positive words to me, never talked down on me not even once.
He truly built me up.

I thank God for him everyday

 

[boris]

If that's the case then no one can teach you anything.
I actually spent a good part of my life unlearning things I learned from my father and figuring them out for myself. And I wouldn't change that if I could.
As they say "Experience is the best teacher."

TC is confusing opinion with fact. 

 

[ricky409]

View media item 195128
pop doc and my lil bro..

 

[guzzy]

^^^^

Didn't have one

Spoiler: Warning%3A%20Spoiler!

Dont need one

Anymore

 

[ricky409]

^^^^




Didn't have one

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

Dont need one
Anymore|I

miss a solid 10 years (from 4-14) with out him...

kinda glad doe, cuz he wasnt ready for me as a kid... but as a man, he puts me up on game like a mug mug, shun...

 

[powerballin]

Everytime I talk to my Pops he give me a confidence boost like Birdman lol

 

[kingjay718]

I'm 29 and I've met my father only once and that was when I was 9. I've reached out many times to my Father but his response was either hanging up on me or communicating to me through a third party. I've never had a positive male role model in my life. Not even my uncles because they either suffered from their own demons, or they simply didn't want to be that for me.

However here I stand today drug and drama free, no unwanted children. People always ask me how do I have peace of mind with all that has happened. I simply and quite honestly pray for him and wih him well, and made a promise to myself that I would meet do my kids like he did me.

I look at positive role models such as Will Smith, Diddy (despite his shadiness, his kids want for nothing), Denzel Washington among others.

 

[Deleted member 38182]

^glad you aight B


I don't really have many positive male influence in my life. I hate opening up to people, especially to my own dad. He drives me nuts. I know one day when I grow older I'll learn to appreciate him but for now :\

I guess my old neighbor might be a pretty good male influence on my life. He's like 15 years younger than my dad (so he's about 40 now) and I've always listened to what he's had to say. Almost like a second father to me. He's a good dude. I should probably hit him up more often


Edit: oh and my uncle. Never realized it tho till after he passed

 

[romedadude]

I appreciate my pops, my uncle, and a bunch of other male role models I had growing up.

The stuff they've imparted I pass on to younger cousins, my brother, and other young dudes. I always remember something my mom told me and that's watch how you act around younger people and how you treat them, because you may not remember how you affect them (positively or negatively) but THEY will always remember it.

 

[powerballin]

The responses in this thread prove that we need more positive real men and they are an endangered species.

Dudes posting Pharrell before their own fathers

Dudes replying about how a woman can do just as good

Dudes replying with fictional movie characters

Not one "My dad did a great job setting an example" or "Didn't have pops growing up but AAU coach and brothers showed me the way" yet

at society in 2013

Yeah, not everyone is a misogynist. 

sorry to break it to you but a man learns how to be a man from a man.  Not to say a single mother can't try her best tho.  But its just not the same homie.

 

[romedadude]

The responses in this thread prove that we need more positive real men and they are an endangered species.

Dudes posting Pharrell before their own fathers
Dudes replying about how a woman can do just as good
Dudes replying with fictional movie characters

Not one "My dad did a great job setting an example" or "Didn't have pops growing up but AAU coach and brothers showed me the way" yet

at society in 2013

Yeah, not everyone is a misogynist. 

sorry to break it to you but a man learns how to be a man from a man.  Not to say a single mother can't try her best tho.  But its just not the same homie.

You came off a little judgmental and elitist with that "dudes replying with response." Everybody's life is different bruh.

It's just a observation at changes in society more than a at society. **** if Woody Carmichael was a good male role model for people then that's good for them. Cats ain't out here being savages and living respectable lives, so infinite to them despite living without "true" male role models.

 

[boris]

sorry to break it to you but a man learns how to be a man from a man.  Not to say a single mother can't try her best tho.  But its just not the same homie.

What I pointed out was that the traits you listed in the original post can be taught by a woman. What you seem to be insinuating is that women cannot teach values, morals, standards, confidence, self-respect, etc. Not only is that incredibly ignorant, it sounds misogynistic. +-

Now, aside from all that, you failed to establish what a man is and why only another man can teach what a man is. What is this based off of? Your own experience?

 

[cobra kai]

pops wasn't around and although i missed him and didn't get to join in on the "my dad is so cool" convos.

i never needed him. my moms friends husbands and male friends(i call them uncles) all helped take positive roles in my life and my grandpa and uncle despite the mistakes he made was a great influence. i was basically raised by a village of people.

and a lot of males took pride in helping me reach college and believe in my dreams.

but don't get it twisted, my mom taught me a lot of quality things that i needed growing up.

 

[luckyp824]

I've had quite a few people who influenced my life, I guess, since I'm the youngest of 6 with 2 older brothers.

That said, thinking about it, I think the only positive male influence was my dad. He taught me through example.

I'm far from the man he was, but looking at my life and who I am, I think the few redeeming qualities that I do have are because of him and my mother.

From my older brothers, I've somehow managed to only absorb their worst qualities. That's probably my fault though.

 

[smangalang]

Big bros and homies, my friends' dads, males teachers and coaches. I never saw eye to eye with my pops. He showed me everything I loathe and refuse to become. Sometimes "bad" examples are in fact "good" examples

 

[antonlavey]

What I pointed out was that the traits you listed in the original post can be taught by a woman. What you seem to be insinuating is that women cannot teach values, morals, standards, confidence, self-respect, etc. Not only is that incredibly ignorant, it sounds misogynistic. +-

Now, aside from all that, you failed to establish what a man is and why only another man can teach what a man is. What is this based off of? Your own experience?

Imo "male traits" are everything that is wrong with society today, being a "man" is overrated. A good woman can teach you a thing or two about being a decent human being. I have had good positive male mentors (Teachers, coaches, doctors), but my mother>>>>>>>>>>>>>


A lot of people's ideas of what it means to be a man is vastly misguided.

 

[createdestroy]

What I pointed out was that the traits you listed in the original post can be taught by a woman. What you seem to be insinuating is that women cannot teach values, morals, standards, confidence, self-respect, etc. Not only is that incredibly ignorant, it sounds misogynistic. +-

Now, aside from all that, you failed to establish what a man is and why only another man can teach what a man is. What is this based off of? Your own experience?

Imo "male traits" are everything that is wrong with society today, being a "man" is overrated. A good woman can teach you a thing or two about being a decent human being. I have had good positive male mentors (Teachers, coaches, doctors), but my mother>>>>>>>>>>>>>


A lot of people's ideas of what it means to be a man is vastly misguided.

So i guess men (in general) also posses the knowledge and experience to teach a girl how to be a woman right?

 

[iblink]

Only a man can teach a man how to be a man? What exactly does that constitute?

A bunch of men fail at being men and there are undoubtedly a lot of women capable of instilling values of what a real man should be.

So what if a person picks up different values from different individuals they know personally. How is a person like Pharell truly different from a basket ball coach?

 

[iblink]

So i guess men (in general) also posses the knowledge and experience to teach a girl how to be a woman right?

Yep. It's not as if the a dad is trying to reach his daughter how to grow a penis. Besides, you all are putting to great an emphasis on gender and gender roles. What should matter is whether an individual has positive influences that teaches them to be good people.

 

[createdestroy]

So i guess men (in general) also posses the knowledge and experience to teach a girl how to be a woman right?

Yep. It's not as if the a dad is trying to reach his daughter how to grow a penis. Besides, you all are putting to great an emphasis on gender and gender roles. What should matter is whether an individual has positive influences that teaches them to be good people.

Well, then I guess a woman can teach boy to be a "good person".... being a man means learning gender roles which most women would not be able to sufficiently teach.

Then the original statement saying a women can't teach [a boy] how to be a man stands true.

 

[powerballin]

So i guess men (in general) also posses the knowledge and experience to teach a girl how to be a woman right?

Yep. It's not as if the a dad is trying to reach his daughter how to grow a penis. Besides, you all are putting to great an emphasis on gender and gender roles. What should matter is whether an individual has positive influences that teaches them to be good people.

Well, then I guess a woman can teach boy to be a "good person".... being a man means learning gender roles which most women would not be able to sufficiently teach.

Then the original statement saying a women can't teach [a boy] how to be a man stands true.

Bingo. 

 

[RIP sleazyy]

How the hell do you teach someone to be a man though? I didn't know there was a guidebook.