Reviews (short, or otherwise, of the last five movies I've seen)
1. Tuxedo [2002]
What a pile of ****. I only watched this because, I think, the commercial aired during the VHS of the terrific movie, Clockstoppers. The only redeeming quality was four (FOUR!) Jackie Chan one-liners. This was clearly a Jackie coming-off-Rush-Hour-2 movie and Jennifer Love Hewitt meeting each other at a weird time in their lives, like Fight Club. If you look at JLH's resume after this it's Garfield and....
Jason David Isaacs (who played Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter series) was great, in limited time. There was some even PG-13 humor that would not be allowed nowadays.
2. Over The Top [1987]
I've never seen a movie so dedicated to semi-trucks. In all its strengths. I mean it. It made me wanted to be a driver if not for the automated-AI truck, South Park "they're coming for your jobs" stuff. Some great father-son stuff after his son stopped being such a little **** (about 20 minutes in). Love how they introduced the 8 finalists in the arm-wrestling competition with interviews in front of the award-winning semi truck.
The mother added such an element. Didn't really care for Loggia who shouldn't really even get much acclaim for anything. I gotta figure out if that arm wrestling trick actually works.
3. Cry-Baby (1990)
I watched this **** on the treadmill. I was looking for better than Grease 2, but something watchable
I got a very funny Johnny Depp comedy when the music wasn't going on
And even when it was... there was unexpected comedy happening. Hatchet-Face, the Blonde (self-admitted) Cry Baby Skank, and Ricki Lake were just consistently loyal and unexpectedly funny.
Go Drapes. **** the Squares.
4. Planet Terror [2007]
I think Milano dancing at the beginning credits might be the hottest thing I've ever seen in a movie. I'm partially kidding.
Milano and Rodriguez's son (director of the son) killed this movie, carried it. LOL at the blonde's son doing what he did and then showing up after the credits on the beach. I have the best BBQ in Texas.
There was so much random **** in this. Odes to other movies.
I'm glad Michael Biehn was still doing well.
5. Michael Clayton [2007]
Tilda Swinton we divorced the first time I ever saw you act.
Arthur/Tom Wilkinson with the baker's dozen baguettes trying to get the 1-up on Clooney in the alley way... "I know your game" he says
Don't put a car bomb in a guy's car and let him drive into the farm country, and the blow it up when he goes to pet horses
"I am Shiva, God of Death"
This movie is terrible, I give it a 7 because I think Clooney was Michael Clayton just trying to get out of this movie.