Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

darthska said:
He's young enough to where you do have a simple solution at your disposal: let him tear open whatever presents he's given and then hide away whatever you don't want him to have.
A month from now, he's not going to be like, "Hey, wait a second, I remember opening a cap gun and then it disappeared. I want to play with that. Where did it go?"

That's short-term.
Long term, I don't know your personality, but I know exactly what I would do, and it doesn't involve considering Pops' feelings.
But if you did want to consider his feelings and also draw a hard line: "Moving forward, let's establish a pattern of you checking with us on anything you want buy him. The thought, money, & energy is definitely appreciated, but we want to make sure that it's something we're okay with him having."
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Man I honestly dont give a damb about his feelings. Im just trying to keep things between cordial between my wife and her dad. At the same time, I want to limit the negative influences in my son’s life so it’s a fine line to tow. Appreciate the advice.
 
Had a crazy dream about my eldest daughter last night. Someone was scolding her while we were checking out at hotel. I was looking for the mf voice on some 187 **** but couldn't see his ***. Then I woke up. Just called her up and she said she was out late but was safe at her gma crib. Man that **** was crazy
 
You guys know Israel has killed more than 16000 children over the past year? Sixteen thousand children. And I mean killed, like murdered, like face , guts, brain all out.

Think about that next time you cuddling your little one to sleep. Or dropping them off to daycare, or to school.

Picture a drone flying over their daycare while they run around, dropping an explosive on them.

Think about their helplessness as innocent children. And think deeply about it.

“The survey found that 92% of children were “not accepting of reality”, 79% suffered from nightmares, and 73% displayed symptoms of aggression. Other psychological responses included fear, anxiety, social withdrawal, and difficulty concentrating.

The trauma has left many children with ongoing emotional distress, behavioural changes, and eating issues, while physical symptoms such as pain are also manifesting.

Impact on Gaza’s Children: A Generation at Risk
The war’s impact is compounded by the destruction of homes, schools, and hospitals. Over 60% of the children surveyed had been exposed to at least one traumatic event, and some experienced multiple instances of violence, including airstrikes, displacement, and separation from their families.

An estimated 17,000 children in Gaza are unaccompanied, separated from their parents due to the conflict. These children are at increased risk of abuse, exploitation, and serious violations of their rights, the report warned. “Being separated from their families places these children at a heightened risk,” it stated, emphasizing that such trauma can persist long after hostilities cease.”
 
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First time posting here, I've been lurking here on NT since middle school and now I'm 32 and welcomed a daughter this past October and been loving every minute of being a dad, it's the freaking best.

Has anyone done solo parent leave? Wifey and I stacked parental time so she'll be closer to 5 months and my solo time starts in January - just thinking of hobbies or activities between feeds and naps.

Happy Holidays to all!
 
Maybe should be in the confessions post, but I found this one first hah.

Felt like I literally opened nothing for Christmas. Didn't open anything at home. Didn't open anything when we got to sis in laws. Kinda hurt/felt empty to be honest.

1) Wife got me a North Face vest for Christmas (around black Friday, it was a good sale lol), had to try it on for sizing to make sure it was the correct fit. Maybe should've told her to wrap it again. lol.
2) Opened an envelope with money inside from wife's parents (for both my wife and I) when we got home late at night from the family Christmas party.

Maybe that's what I get for saying I didn't want anything last year Christmas when sis in law asked what I wanted or being so picky lol.
At the same time, maybe that speaks to me and what ppl really see towards me. ie. My niece making a card for my wife, but not me.

-Bright side, my daughter gave me some random hugs throughout the day and said she loved giving me hugs.
-Kids were happy, well behaved, got lots of love from extended family.
-Went to extended family Christmas party after....also didn't have to cuss out my wife's aunt. She sometimes calls her a nickname that implies she is fat (she is not even close and my wife has told her many times she didn't like that nickname, but laughs it off). Witnessed it first hand last gathering in the summer, so I was prepared to call her out.
-Another uncle, asked who I was, then when I replied, he said "I don't know who you are, I don't think I've ever talked to you before." - Didn't know if he was trying to insult me or its cause his vision really got that bad, but I've been coming to his Christmas party for 20 years. Also, didn't really care to talk to him anyways cause he's a prick.

...another Christmas party tomorrow, but it will be my side of the family and there are much more cousins that are closer in age/life stage to my wife and I. Will be more fun.

/rant thanks for reading if you got this far.
 
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lauk4kicks said:
Maybe should be in the confessions post, but I found this one first hah.

Felt like I literally opened nothing for Christmas. Didn't open anything at home. Didn't open anything when we got to sis in laws. Kinda hurt/felt empty to be honest.

1) Wife got me a North Face vest for Christmas (around black Friday, it was a good sale lol), had to try it on for sizing to make sure it was the correct fit. Maybe should've told her to wrap it again. lol.
2) Opened an envelope with money inside from wife's parents (for both my wife and I) when we got home late at night from the family Christmas party.

Maybe that's what I get for saying I didn't want anything last year Christmas when sis in law asked what I wanted or being so picky lol.
At the same time, maybe that speaks to me and what ppl really see towards me. ie. My niece making a card for my wife, but not me.

-Bright side, my daughter gave me some random hugs throughout the day and said she loved giving me hugs.
-Kids were happy, well behaved, got lots of love from extended family.
-Went to extended family Christmas party after....also didn't have to cuss out my wife's aunt. She sometimes calls her a nickname that implies she is fat (she is not even close and my wife has told her many times she didn't like that nickname, but laughs it off). Witnessed it first hand last gathering in the summer, so I was prepared to call her out.
-Another uncle, asked who I was, then when I replied, he said "I don't know who you are, I don't think I've ever talked to you before." - Didn't know if he was trying to insult me or its cause his vision really got that bad, but I've been coming to his Christmas party for 20 years. Also, didn't really care to talk to him anyways cause he's a prick.

...another Christmas party tomorrow, but it will be my side of the family and there are much more cousins that are closer in age/life stage to my wife and I. Will be more fun.

/rant thanks for reading if you got this far.
Click to expand...
1. Sorry you feel hurt/alone.
2. Late 20s/early 30s?
3. If I'm reading this correctly: In the last month, you got a North Face jacket from your wife and some money from your in-laws?
 
lauk4kicks said:
Maybe should be in the confessions post, but I found this one first hah.

Felt like I literally opened nothing for Christmas. Didn't open anything at home. Didn't open anything when we got to sis in laws. Kinda hurt/felt empty to be honest.

1) Wife got me a North Face vest for Christmas (around black Friday, it was a good sale lol), had to try it on for sizing to make sure it was the correct fit. Maybe should've told her to wrap it again. lol.
2) Opened an envelope with money inside from wife's parents (for both my wife and I) when we got home late at night from the family Christmas party.

Maybe that's what I get for saying I didn't want anything last year Christmas when sis in law asked what I wanted or being so picky lol.
At the same time, maybe that speaks to me and what ppl really see towards me. ie. My niece making a card for my wife, but not me.

-Bright side, my daughter gave me some random hugs throughout the day and said she loved giving me hugs.
-Kids were happy, well behaved, got lots of love from extended family.
-Went to extended family Christmas party after....also didn't have to cuss out my wife's aunt. She sometimes calls her a nickname that implies she is fat (she is not even close and my wife has told her many times she didn't like that nickname, but laughs it off). Witnessed it first hand last gathering in the summer, so I was prepared to call her out.
-Another uncle, asked who I was, then when I replied, he said "I don't know who you are, I don't think I've ever talked to you before." - Didn't know if he was trying to insult me or its cause his vision really got that bad, but I've been coming to his Christmas party for 20 years. Also, didn't really care to talk to him anyways cause he's a prick.

...another Christmas party tomorrow, but it will be my side of the family and there are much more cousins that are closer in age/life stage to my wife and I. Will be more fun.

/rant thanks for reading if you got this far.
Click to expand...
I know how it feels bruh. I spent over 3gs on Christmas this year, and I opened up a robe I bought a month ago. I didn't technically realize I bought it until I put two and two together and I remembered the day I was asked for the money. My daughter turning 18 I July I sent her out with a bang, the rest of my family got hooked TF up too!!! But I'm done with gifts after this on a large scale, I'll get something sentimental or that I think could be useful for you. No more kids in my house I'll miss it but I'm ready to be like my grandpa don't ask me for **** and don't buy me **** and I'll do the same.
 
darthska said:
1. Sorry you feel hurt/alone.
2. Late 20s/early 30s?
3. If I'm reading this correctly: In the last month, you got a North Face jacket from your wife and some money from your in-laws?
Click to expand...

You would be correct.

The vest was bought early and I tried it on for sizing in case it needed to be exchanged. It was already hanging in the closet. She suggested the gift early “how about a vest? did you want one?” I did have an eye on one and was just waiting for a sale, lucky enough it was on sale at the time.

Money comes in specific type of envelope in our culture, so you know what it is, and rude to open it immediately.

I just want to be clear that it wasn’t about me wanting gifts and being greedy etc. there was nothing with my name on it. Just seems unappreciated kind of in a way. No one thought to get dad anything, a card or drawing, anything lol
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I am thankful for the gifts above still. End of the days the kids were excited and happy with what they got. Kids are young still so they don’t see or appreciate the behind the scenes of what ppl do for them yet. And it’s about spending time with family (which we try to preach to them)

My apologies if I’m sounding like a whiny kid. Y’all can just tell me lol

maybe this just how my Christmas experience is. Similar to childhood, we sometimes got to choose one thing and then waited until Christmas. Maybe it’s just me lol or maybe it’s a sign I need to do more for others or model for my kids better to show what I’m grateful for.

Gotta get ready for the day, will come back to edit if needed

edit: yeah it’s me. Just gotta keep doing the best to provide for family.
Thx Darthska
Props to you and all NT fam for holding it down for your kids
 
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lauk4kicks said:
My apologies if I’m sounding like a whiny kid. Y’all can just tell me lol
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I'm'a just tell you as a single father, I legitimately can't recall the last time I got anything for xmas.
Years, bruh.
Before xmas, on xmas, after xmas; nothing.
It's just another day on my end.
I make sure it's special for my son to keep myself from focusing on what I just said.
He's 17, and yesterday we watched Elf and played Smash Bros for like 3 hours.
Good times.
 
My son came back from college for the holidays last week. To say I'm proud of him is an understatement. I've never really had any issues with him ever but he always depended on me for everything. I knew him going away to school would be the best because he needed to become independent. He did good his first semester got all Bs. Just really proud of him. He's a great kid.

Him & lil bro chilling.
20241218_154411.jpg
 
Crazy listening to the new lingo. Phrases like "stand on business" and "gyat" are interesting when you decipher the wording followed by the storyline
 
lauk4kicks said:
You would be correct.

The vest was bought early and I tried it on for sizing in case it needed to be exchanged. It was already hanging in the closet. She suggested the gift early “how about a vest? did you want one?” I did have an eye on one and was just waiting for a sale, lucky enough it was on sale at the time.

Money comes in specific type of envelope in our culture, so you know what it is, and rude to open it immediately.

I just want to be clear that it wasn’t about me wanting gifts and being greedy etc. there was nothing with my name on it. Just seems unappreciated kind of in a way. No one thought to get dad anything, a card or drawing, anything lol
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I am thankful for the gifts above still. End of the days the kids were excited and happy with what they got. Kids are young still so they don’t see or appreciate the behind the scenes of what ppl do for them yet. And it’s about spending time with family (which we try to preach to them)

My apologies if I’m sounding like a whiny kid. Y’all can just tell me lol

maybe this just how my Christmas experience is. Similar to childhood, we sometimes got to choose one thing and then waited until Christmas. Maybe it’s just me lol or maybe it’s a sign I need to do more for others or model for my kids better to show what I’m grateful for.

Gotta get ready for the day, will come back to edit if needed

edit: yeah it’s me. Just gotta keep doing the best to provide for family.
Thx Darthska
Props to you and all NT fam for holding it down for your kids
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Yeah, it sucks feeling unappreciated. Not trying to minimize how you’re feeling or anything like that, but look at it this way - there are millions of people who would swap places with you in a minute - you have a family, a roof over your head, and enough money to get your loved ones gifts.

With that being said, go out and get yourself a present. If no one else did it for you, go take matters into your own hands and cop yourself something nice. You deserve it.
 
I trip out on doing some of the most simple things with my kid that I never got to experience.
You all ever take your kid and their friends to the movies?
Something that never happened with me as a teen, or ever.
20250103_154503.jpg

And not only do I personally know these 4 kids, but I know every single one of their parents.
They're amazing kids with awesome parents.
#simplethings
 
One of my daughters friends practically lives at my house when I have my daughter, she’s basically part of the family at this point.

I don’t mind because they are good kids and look back to how much trouble I was in at their age.
 
I remember those days as a kid (elementary).

Car pool for camps, movie Tuesdays (discounted ticket day), sleep overs, arcades, etc. It was pretty cool. Stopped around gr 4-5. Some moved away and interests and friends started to go on different paths.

I am not in contact with any of them (except one cause he was in my high school friend group), but our moms are still friends. I invited their parents to my wedding lol.
 
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