Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

[slaughterx]

I bet it is real, ol girl sounded too ignorant for it to not be real. 1 meal or not, you share what you got with your family is the lesson. If his son had did that and told his dad he probably would have came with more food... different way to skin a cat.

 

[Grine]

Did our first college you tour this weekend - Stanford. She was actually excited about it.

So far Howard is number choice - Stanford number 2. She ruled out Berkley.

 

[big1236]

^^ dang - your kids SUPER SMART.....

 

[tupac003]

My lil guy was diagnosed with Autism at 2 years old. One thing that has always been a sensory issue for him was his hair. We thought he would never be able to sit still for a haircut...but he told me he wanted one....

So this is for my big boy in celebration of his first hair cut. He was great during the cut. No crying, moving or anything crazy. He did so well, that I gave him his first chain as well.

 

[big1236]

Lil man lookin awesome with his fresh cut...

chain helps too! LOL

 

[mplsdunk]

My best friend has autism. Probably not the news you wanted to hear but he’ll be able to overcome a lot I’m sure and be fine. My boy lives a totally normal life and is married with a kid and is a teacher.

 

[sneakaprince]

My lil guy was diagnosed with Autism at 2 years old. One thing that has always been a sensory issue for him was his hair. We thought he would never be able to sit still for a haircut...but he told me he wanted one....

So this is for my big boy in celebration of his first hair cut. He was great during the cut. No crying, moving or anything crazy. He did so well, that I gave him his first chain as well.

Doin it bro! More power to you and the young king.

Got the young boy out here looking right!

 

[tupac003]

My best friend has autism. Probably not the news you wanted to hear but he’ll be able to overcome a lot I’m sure and be fine. My boy lives a totally normal life and is married with a kid and is a teacher.

Nah I love hearing these stories. It gives me hope.

I just want him to live a normal life. This is why we have ensured he has every therapy available to him.

 

[mplsdunk]

Therapy worked well for my friend. He had a speech impediment and it’s gone thanks to therapy and a lot of other work he’s done to help too. Night and day difference.

 

[Grine]

^^ dang - your kids SUPER SMART.....

4.25 GPA this year again.

 

[solewoman]

Did our first college you tour this weekend - Stanford. She was actually excited about it.

So far Howard is number choice - Stanford number 2. She ruled out Berkley.

HU! Are they offering her money?

 

[ml25]

I just started sleep training my 9 month old (I know, late to the game) via the Ferber method. We’re on night 3 and so far it’s been okay. I’m sure starting this late isn’t helping, but how has everyone dealt with sleep training? I need to get my son to nap in his crib as well as he’s always being rocked to sleep. I’m hoping to hear some of your experience about this topic.

 

[darthska]

I just started sleep training my 9 month old (I know, late to the game) via the Ferber method. We’re on night 3 and so far it’s been okay. I’m sure starting this late isn’t helping, but how has everyone dealt with sleep training? I need to get my son to nap in his crib as well as he’s always being rocked to sleep. I’m hoping to hear some of your experience about this topic.

Do more research on the Ferber method. 'Let the kid cry' ain't it. Establishing or deconstructing a bond absolutely begins right there.

-foe

 

[solewoman]

Do more research on the Ferber method. 'Let the kid cry' ain't it. Establishing or deconstructing a bond absolutely begins right there.

-foe

100% when I was researching that I gave up when I read that kids feel abandoned and give up. Which is why they stop crying. So nope.

 

[onthenephs]

I dunno stilllllll. That method worked out great for us lol. Daughter 6 now and she is alright lol, no abandonment issues.

There is no doubt it’s tough though, and seeing their little face on camera during the process was straight torture. It needed to be done tho

 

[allcaps26]

The cry it out method worked great for us also. Although we have twins so if we didn’t sleep train early we would be hurting . They’ve been sleeping through the night since 4 months and they’re going to be 1 in august. It’s tough to see them cry the first few nights of it but they adjusted pretty fast.

 

[darthska]

Daughter 6 now and she is alright lol, no abandonment issues.

That's psychologically impossible to assess at 6. She lacks both the cognition and ability to express that, even if she were comfortable doing so, which is a 3rd factor.

I'm not saying she has abandonment issues. I'm saying "She's 6 and fine" is psychologically flawed reasoning.

-foe

 

[darthska]

they adjusted pretty fast.

Again, research it. The crying is "Someone help me." The adjustment to stop crying is "No one is going to help me." The stressors are still there, as evidenced by the brain activity studied in babies monitored for research of this topic. The learned response is "No one cares so no point in being vocal."

-foe

 

[onthenephs]

Ya .. but sorry I don’t see a situation in life where a person needs to scream “someone help me” just because they are going to bed… so it’s kind of a useless trait and if they recognize no need to scream cuz no one will come. That’s exactly what I want cuz no human should be screaming before going to sleep lol

Anyways bro by all means everyone do their thing

 

[darthska]

Ya .. but sorry I don’t see a situation in life where a person needs to scream “someone help me” just because they are going to bed… so it’s kind of a useless trait and if they recognize no need to scream cuz no one will come. That’s exactly what I want cuz no human should be screaming before going to sleep lol

Anyways bro by all means everyone do their thing

I agree that randomly screaming 'Someone help me' is a very unlikely occurrence. No need to prepare for that.

However, a parent being there for their child through whatever they are struggling with, that is HIGHLY likely. I wanted my son to know and FEEL that I would be there for him. Anyone who is comfortable with their toddler thinking and feeling 'No one is there for me, not even my parents', like you said: do your thing.

Now, I presume the next response to be something along the lines of "We can't be there for our kids through EVERYTHING. We have to cut the umbilical cord at some point. We can't baby our kids or they'll be 34 living in the basement." Before we go that route, it's true that we can't baby our kids their whole life, but we're not talking about their whole life. We're talking about toddlers still learning about the world screaming out for their parents in the night. Attending to a screaming toddler will not lead to the child being a lazy adult. Other things might lead to that, but not this.

I know it's super inconvenient and frustrating, and that's what's at the core of this conversation. The Ferber method is not really about the toddler; it's about the parents.

-foe

 

[stuntman mike]

for OUR situation, we ended up with my son on the bed from after a day or so of trying the crib and bassinet. breastfeeding was just easier that way. when my daughter was born, we didn’t even buy a crib. we went straight to using a dock a tot on the bed. that thing worked really well.

both were horrible sleepers as babies. we never did the cry it out and some nights it felt like that **** would never end. what an ordeal lol. both sleep like a log nowadays.

 

[cragmatic]

We sleep trained for a bit and it went really well, but once it started to regress, baby girl gets rocked to sleep most nights. I love rocking her to sleep though I’m going to be sad when she outgrows it for good. I’m sure that’ll be awhile though.

 

[ml25]

What other methods have you guys tried? My son is not having it at all and is wailing when it comes to sleeping and napping on his own, however, we can’t keep having him bed share with us. I get both sides of the Ferber method, and are open to testing new methods to see what works. As we’re early on, I don’t want to give up on this yet as his first two nights were pretty decent.

 

[darthska]

What other methods have you guys tried? My son is not having it at all and is wailing when it comes to sleeping and napping on his own, however, we can’t keep having him bed share with us. I get both sides of the Ferber method, and are open to testing new methods to see what works. As we’re early on, I don’t want to give up on this yet as his first two nights were pretty decent.

How old?

-foe

 

[cragmatic]

I was in the middle of a 2 hour rocking session last night when I had posted about having tried the sleep training earlier on.

I didn’t even try to let her cry it out, the last attempt she started crying when I sat her down, and I walked away for a minute and a half and she fell right asleep.

But ….. the mother of my very young child also decided that she was more interested in getting away from the life we had built here, and ran off to her moms about two hours away, and last night was the first night my baby has been back with me for a week, the first night last time was rough too.

I won’t say too much, cuz as said before, I’m sure she still stalks me on NT at times and I’m sure she still tries to use things against me,

But I really tried to exhaust the option of couples counseling for the sake of raising our daughter together under one roof, heck I even said I’ll stay somewhere else while we take space and work through counseling. She didn’t even want to entertain the idea, and I have a feeling I know why

Anyway though, this wasn’t the life I envisioned 9 months ago, but I am still SOOO incredibly thankful for my daughter and love every moment I get to spend with her. I am also still very furious with her mother for the choices she’s made the last few weeks, and it especially makes me mad when my baby is suffering because of it. Luckily she adjusts quick and I think the rest of the week should be smooth sailing…. That is until the next time it’s her first night back here after a week away :-/

Such is life though.